Claiming Your Sexual Confidence
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- Domenic Porter
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2 All Rights Reserved Copyright 2008 MeetYourSweet.com The information contained in this sample chapter ebook is provided as is without warranty of any kind. The entire risk as to the results and the performance of the information is assumed by the user, and in no event shall MeetYourSweet.com be liable for any consequential, incidental or direct damages suffered in the course of using the information in this book. No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted or distributed in any form or by any means, electrical or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage or retrieval system without permission in writing from MeetYourSweet.com. 2
3 1. WHY PEOPLE LACK SEXUAL CONFIDENCE If you re one of those people who can t even look in the mirror when you re naked, you need to get used to it. Maybe you need to start with lingerie. Maybe you need to begin with a snowsuit and work down from there. Dr. Phil If you re not sexually confident, you re not alone. Television, movies, and advertising present us with so many airbrushed images of physically perfect beings that any ordinary human being will always fall short. These days, it seems like a person can only claim sexual confidence if they re superattractive, wear the latest clothes/cosmetics, and consume all those brandspecific products that claim to make a person irresistibly attractive to the opposite sex. Take it from me: sexual confidence doesn t have to do with what brand of beverage you drink, how expensive your clothing is, or your waisthip ratio. It has to do with how much you enjoy being in the body you re in. WHAT DOESN T WORK: COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS If you try to get sexual confidence by comparing yourself to others, you ll always fall short in some area. Someone always has a better body than us, better clothes than us, better hair than us, and so forth. You can t get sexual confidence by comparing yourself positively to others, either. Supermodels have the same body issues that everyone else does usually even more so due to the demands of their job. Too, feeling more attractive than your competition only works when your competition is around to make you feel good about yourself. When you re alone standing naked in front of a mirror, it s just between you and your reflection. There s no one else there to act as a buffer. So comparison will never help get you more confidence. At most, it will provide a temporary injection of arrogance. You deserve a better basis for your selfconfidence and your wallet isn t the answer, either. 3
4 WHAT DOESN T WORK: SPENDING MONEY Going back to the analogy of standing in front of a mirror, it s clear that you can t rely on clothes, makeup, the right brand of beer, what you drive, etc., as a basis for your sexual confidence. When it comes right down to it, the moment you re in the bedroom with someone, there s nothing between you and them but the body you re in. There s nothing you can BUY that will keep you feeling attractive when the lights are off and it s just you and them alone together in the dark. You can t take your car into the bedroom with someone. You can t keep your clothes on forever. At some point, you have to allow the other person to see you as you are in your natural state, with hair mussed, morning breath, and bleary eyes. Are you confident that they ll still see you as attractive? SEXUAL CONFIDENCE COMES FROM SELFKNOWLEDGE I bet that you know someone that you think is only soso when it comes to their looks, but who seems to attract amazing members of the opposite sex. Have you ever wondered why that is? Looks matter less than sexual confidence. People only make a big deal about appearances when they lack sexual confidence. It gives them a false sense of desirability when, in fact, what they look like is less important than how they feel about themselves. A sexually confident person feels so comfortable in their own skin that it doesn t matter if they ve just woken up, feel sweaty and gross, or are dressed in their oldest, ugliest clothing. They know that underneath it all, they re still the same fantastic person. How do YOU feel about yourself? Do you feel sexually desirable? 4
5 If your answer is, No, I m too fat/short/wrinkled/unattractive, then I have something I want to share with you. Have you ever looked at an averagelooking couple and wondered, What do they see in one another? Everyone is attractive to someone. This isn t just my opinion: look at the facts. The vast majority of people will end up getting married at least once in their lifetimes. That leads me to conclude that, no matter what YOU might think....you ARE sexually desirable. Someone, someday, somewhere, will find you so infinitely attractive that they ll want to kiss you, touch you, and have a relationship with you. And, knowing this, you can develop your sexual confidence based on the FACT that you are desirable. Period. 2. THE PATH TO GREATER SEXUAL CONFIDENCE Now, what does it mean to be desirable? It means that a member of the opposite sex finds themselves aroused by being around you. You know, desirability isn t something that takes place on a rational level. No one thinks, That person will be a good husband/wife; therefore I ll be attracted to them. Rather, desire and attraction are gutlevel reactions to being in the presence of a member of the opposite sex. Or, as popular dating expert David DeAngelo says, Attraction is not a choice. So you can t convince someone to be attracted to you by telling them what a great mate you d make. However, what you can do is use the single most powerful trigger that exists for attracting what you want in life. You can model the very behaviors and feelings you want to attract. 5
6 In other words, if you want other people to love you, love yourself. If you want other people to respect you, respect yourself. If you want other people to see you as sexually desirable, then see yourself as sexually desirable. In fact, the more you understand your own sexuality your masculine or feminine essence, that wonderful potential that your body has for pleasure, and how your body moves and smells and feels the more you ll attract members of the opposite sex who are interested in you sexually. Now, you might think that this sounds easy. Forget about all those complicated instructions about how to dress or how to groom or how to act, and just focus on seeing yourself as attractive? Easypeasy! If only that were the case Too many of us have complicated and mixed emotions about our sexual selves. We feel that our sexual response is dirty, or we don t like certain parts of our body. Maybe we ve had negative past experiences that have programmed us to reject ourselves before a member of the opposite sex can reject us. We even suppress our own masculinity or femininity because of the belief that it s somehow politically incorrect. To be quite frank, very few people like and admire their sexual selves. I want to make sure you understand the point I just made very clearly, so I m going to say it again. Gaining sexual confidence is a process of learning more about what it is to be a man or to be a woman so that you can enjoy being who you are in the body you re in. Not trying to disguise your appearance with clothes or cosmetics. Not trying to act like someone you think will be more popular than the real you. Not trying to hide parts of yourself you re embarrassed about. In fact, the moment you feel ashamed or embarrassed about something (like your flabby belly, your penchant for video games, or your ignorance of wines), you KNOW that it s something you need to work on accepting. As I ve mentioned before, you don t get confidence in any area of your life by being perfect or expecting perfection. 6
7 You gain confidence through accepting and loving all parts of yourself, including your dark side or flaws. Flaws make a person interesting. Imperfections give you character. A touch of naughtiness makes you exciting. Best of all, when you accept your imperfections and don t judge yourself for not getting everything right, you actually make other people much more comfortable around you, because they intuitively sense that you won t judge them either. Now, I want to take you stepbystep through building greater sexual confidence over the next few sections. First, you ll learn how to break any old habits that are sabotaging your sexual confidence, such as your fear of rejection. Then, you ll learn how to unleash your sexual energy by delving into your masculine essence if you re a man, or your female essence if you re a woman. Finally, you ll put this selfassurance into practice in dating and relationships, by learning what it means to take a confident stance on your romantic expectations and standards. 7
8 At Last Someone Saying that Confidence isn t about Demanding or Expecting Perfection. Authors that tell you that it s all about being perfect just don t get it. I see too many guys and girls burn themselves up trying to be something they clearly aren t, and getting frustrated when they don t see the positive results that are promised. That s where my approach to achieving selfconfidence is different, because I teach you about understanding yourself, your limitations, but most importantly about loving all parts of yourself, including your flaws. What if there was an easytofollow, easytoapply transformational course that enabled you to: Fearlessly start a conversation with a complete stranger Overcome fearful thoughts that seem to cripple your move forward with your life. Demonstrate leadership and feel comfortable in decisions that you make Bounce back from a confidence crisis or traumatic event Become comfortable with confrontations and use them to your advantage Well guess what? There is! It may come as no surprise to you that I have created a course called Supreme Self Confidence in Dating, Relationships and Social Situations. It s a course that is going to develop your confidence in every area of your life, including the workplace, the bar, among your friends, and in the bedroom. What I outlined in this special report is going to help you on the way to achieving better self confidence, but to be honest, there s much more to it than just that. If you are serious about getting the confidence you need, in ever aspect of your life, you know that you are going to need more than just a special report to get you there. As a smart person, you know that if you truly want to achieve success you have to take your method as seriously as your problem. And that s what is going to make you different to all the other people that let themselves become victims of their lack of confidence, paralyzed by their fear of failure. The problem with people like that is they don t realize that by not finding a successful way to overcome their fears, they are living them anyway. What s the one thing we all fear in life? Failure. 8
9 And if you don t get a handle on your self confidence, you are never going to get past your fears and have the life, and relationship, of your dreams. If you don t overcome your fears and develop supreme self confidence, you have talked yourself into failure before you have even started. But I know that this doesn t apply to you, as you are a motivated person. And that s where I can really help you go even further. You see, I really do want to see you improve your chances and believe in yourself more than you do already. All of us have potential within us, and self confidence is one of the keys that helps unlock that potential. If you have talents both socially, in your work, and in other areas of your life, you have to be able to overcome your fears to share these talents with others. My course will help develop your confidence in every area of your life, not just one. And don t forget, Supreme Self Confidence is part of a suite of courses brought to you by Meet Your Sweet.com, sister company to 000Relationships.com. Both companies have a wealth of experience in dating and relationship matters, and their stable of writers includes some of the biggest names in the industry, with Amy Waterman, Mirabelle Summers, and myself just to name a few. We have changed the lives of literally thousands of people who have empowered themselves to make positive changes in their personal lives as well as relationships with the help of our courses. Supreme Self Confidence is another of those lifechanging courses. Key parts in this dynamic course include: Part I: Personal Confidence Part II: Social Confidence Part III: Professional Confidence Part IV: Sexual Confidence 9
10 Once you have mastered the material in my course you are going to notice some big changes in your life, particularly in the success you achieve. Your newly acquired supreme self confidence is going to draw people and success towards you because: It makes you more charismatic and attractive to those around you. People who meet you will be inspired by your fearless ability to express and share your ideas and talents. Accepting your moments of shyness and selfdoubt are normal, and they teach you to become a more compassionate and complete person. Be one of those people who has supreme self confidence in any relationship or social situation by visiting: Plus, once you get started, your sense of success will be infectious. Your friend, Slade Shaw MeetYourSweet.com P.S. Again, please give this some serious consideration. Do you want to live in the shadow of your fears, or do you want to use them as stepping stones to your life success? 10
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