The First, And Biggest, Step To Transforming Your Relationship And Work Life. Michelle Manley Coaching

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1 The First, And Biggest, Step To Transforming Your Relationship And Work Life. Michelle Manley Coaching

2 The First, And Biggest, Step to Transforming Your Relationship And Work Life. When we talk about transforming something, it often conjures up images of hard work, involving doing things differently and going through the painful process of learning a new skill. You know the phrase No Pain, No Gain? Well, I m not going to ask you to start doing something different and there s no new skill to learn. Quite the opposite. I m asking you to simply curl up in your favourite chair, lean back, absorb what you re reading, be amazed and see yourself transform, without even getting out of the chair! I hope you enjoy it! Love Michelle

3 The First, And Biggest, Step to Transforming Your Relationship And Work Life. Why would you want to transform your relationship and work life? Maybe things are really bad; your relationship is on the rocks, you hate your job or, if you re single, you just can t find a man that comes close to what you want. Maybe things are OK but you just feel there must be more; more passion, more fulfilment, more happiness, more of everything. The problem is we are so busy there just isn t the capacity in our lives to make the changes we need to make. We re running a home, going to work, managing our own business, bringing up kids, supporting our wider family, not to mention trying to fit in exercise, meeting friends, hobbies and planning holidays! Many of us feel like doing and giving machines, rarely stopping. We complete one task and move onto the next. We are juggling, organising, planning, thinking, providing, supporting, helping, advising..it s exhausting. Many of us are doing the same in our relationship. We feel we have to, otherwise nothing will get done and the more we do, it can feel the less we get back. We can feel we are doing more than our fair share, we bite our tongues, take over organising things in an attempt to keep the status quo, all the time hoping things will move forward, get better. It doesn t matter whether we re dating, in a relationship or married, we can all feel this way. So how on earth can we change this, never mind transform it? The first step, and the BIGGEST step, is.

4 to STOP! It s to STOP DOING! I want you to switch off the engine of your life. Take the key out of the ignition. Take a moment. Notice how that feels. Now lean back and sink into the chair. Take a deep breath. And just BE.. Smile. Go on, SMILE, it s really important right now that there s a big smile on your face. Giggle, and laugh, if it feels right. Be aware of your body, how it feels. Be aware of you. How does that feel? To STOP? To do NOTHING? I bet it wasn t what you expected me to say! It seems counter-intuitive surely we need to do something in order to change things.. Now, go one step further. How would it feel if you didn t have to control everything? If you didn t have to do anything, ever again? Just feel what that would be like. It might feel strange, different, peaceful, tingling, exciting. It may feel wonderful. It may also feel a little scary.

Now I m not going to suggest you STOP doing EVERYTHING in your life. Whilst the idea may feel fantastic, for a moment, doing nothing ever again is just not an option.

5 Now I m not going to suggest you STOP doing EVERYTHING in your life. Whilst the idea may feel fantastic, for a moment, doing nothing ever again is just not an option. What I am advocating though, is for you to STOP doing anything, and I mean everything, in your RELATIONSHIP or your DATING. I want you to STOP DOING! I want you to just BE! This is the transforming step! When we stop and just BE, we are in our Feminine Energy. Let me explain what I mean, when I say Feminine Energy. Firstly, it s the opposite of Masculine Energy. Think of it like Yin and Yang. Masculine and Feminine are labels we use to describe the different energies we are in at any one time. Men and women use both masculine and feminine energy and have the ability to switch between the two. Masculine energy is all about doing, thinking and giving. It s the action energy. It s the energy that s pro-active and pushes things forward. You can think of it as an energy that is leaning forward, wanting to make things happen. Feminine energy is all about receiving, intuition and emotions. It s in the present. It s about being. You can think of it as an energy that is leaning back, receiving.

6 In work, the masculine energy is all about spreadsheets and agendas and the feminine energy is about creativity, taking in information, responding from the gut. Nowadays, most of us are in masculine energy most of the time. We need to be, to do our jobs, run our homes and bring up our children. But do we need to be in our masculine energy in our relationship too? Whilst masculine and feminine energies do not correlate to the male and female genders, for many men their natural preference is to be predominantly in their masculine energy; doing things, fixing things, making plans and driving things forward. In a relationship, where the man is naturally a masculine energy man and, where the woman is ALSO in her masculine energy, frustration and resentment will build up. It s like two heads butting together, both wanting to control everything. Does that sound familiar? Are you in masculine energy in your relationship? Are you one that is always doing, giving, trying to move the relationship forward, planning, cajoling, encouraging.? And do you find yourself at logger heads with your man? The fact is there can t be two people in a relationship in their masculine energy at the same time. A choice has to be made. There are some women who feel comfortable being in their masculine energy in their relationship and that will work beautifully with a man who prefers to be in his feminine energy. However, most women want a relationship where the man is in their masculine energy. This is what I want you to do:

7 When you are with your man or your date.. STOP! Take your foot off the accelerator, switch off your engine and take the key out of your ignition. Take a deep breath. Notice the quiet, the stillness. Lean back and smile and. Notice how your energy shifts. Notice how it draws him to you and Just see what happens! Try this in work too. Whilst you need your masculine energy in work, it s great to have access to your feminine energy too. When you stop and lean back. When you let go of control. When you re open and ready to receive, you create space for your man, your date or your work colleagues to step into the space and step up. While you are the one driving, there is no space for anyone else to drive. This very simple step is the first, and BIGGEST, step to transforming your relationship and work life. Being, as opposed to giving, is the cornerstone of my work. Book a free taster coaching session with me, click here, and I will work with you, oneto-one, on how to build on this fundamental step and use your feminine energy to lead your transformation. So, while you are getting to grips with the idea of just BEING, how about trying the following two exercises? I ve designed them to help you picture the transformation you want for your relationship and work life.

Exercise One - Dream Big! What difference would it make if you could see the relationship and work life you have always dreamed of right there in front of you?

8 Exercise One - Dream Big! What difference would it make if you could see the relationship and work life you have always dreamed of right there in front of you? What I m going to ask you to do, is dream. And when I say dream, I want you to DREAM BIG! I want you to dream so big you could almost burst with excitement with the images you ve created and the feelings that are exploding within you. Why is this important? Our dreams provide the food for our subconscious. The subconscious is the part of our mind we aren t aware of. Its job is to listen to our conscious mind and work as hard as it can to provide us with what we want. The thing is, if it doesn t know what we want, how on earth is it ever going to get us there? It s like finding your way in your car to a new store you want to visit. If you ve got the address you re much more likely to get there. Without an address you have to rely on luck. You could stop and ask people. You can drive around every street looking and you might eventually be lucky enough to find the store. But what a lot of hard work with no guarantee of success at the end! Finding our way in the car is much the same as finding our way to the relationship and the work life we truly want. Many of us are getting more familiar with the idea of setting long term goals around our career ambitions. How many of us have spent time looking into the future and picturing our perfect relationship? Imagine your subconscious as the chauffeur of your relationship and work limousine. What does the chauffeur need to get you to your dream relationship and work life? The chauffeur needs directions! SO, we need to dream and the clearer the image, the easier it is for our subconscious to get us there. Take a few minutes now to DREAM BIG!

9 Imagine yourself already living in your happy ever after with a man who adores you and showers you with love and affection. A relationship where you feel safe and secure, knowing that your man loves you for just being you. Imagine your perfect day with your man. What are you both doing? Where are you? How does it feel to be so loved? How does it feel to be adored for just being you? How does it feel when everything is so easy? What are the emotions you are experiencing? What are the sounds you can hear? What does it smell like? What are the colours you can see around you? I want you to really consolidate this image, bring it all into one picture so you can experience the feelings, the colours, the sounds and the emotions all at the same time. Now, take this image and drop it right into the heart of your subconscious. Make sure it s big and bold enough so that every part of your subconscious can see it. Now do the same exercise for your work life, imagining yourself doing a job that effortlessly fulfils all your career dreams and provides the right balance with your relationship and family. Your subconscious will now work tirelessly to get you to your dream. Your job is to keep checking the image stays vibrant and alive. Exercise Two - Clear The Confusion Where are you now on the journey to the relationship and work life you have always dreamed of? You now have a clear vision of the relationship and work life you want. Where are you now on that journey?

10 For many of us it can be difficult to get a clear view of what s really going on. We can have a sense of why things aren t right and we often see it as the fault of others why things aren t how we want them. To clear the confusion and get a clearer picture, try this exercise. You ll need a piece of paper and pen. I want you to imagine you re stood in the basket of a hot air balloon on a beautiful sunny day and the rope that s holding the balloon down is released and you start to float up. I want you to look down over the basket at your life below. See your relationship and your work life from high above. Expand your view to include your past relationships and jobs. Now write down everything that comes to mind when you ask yourself these questions. Don t analyse what comes up before your write it; don t filter it. What do you notice? What stands out when you look down over your life? How does it feel looking down? What are the sounds that are drifting up? As you look at your past below you, are there any patterns you can see? What when you look down, feels good to see? And what when you look down, feels yucky to look at? Next I want you to imagine one of your friends in the basket beside you. What do they see when they look down on your life? And then I want you to ask yourself What do I want less off? What do I want more of? What do I want to look different? And what do I need to let go of? Now read over what you have written. You may find that some of the answers to these questions are surprising.

11 This is a powerful way to get a bird s eye view of your life; to see the Wood for the Trees! So, to recap. You ve STOPPED! And you re noticing what happens when you re in feminine energy and you re seeing the start of the transformation. You ve DREAMED BIG! You know what you want and where you are now and your subconscious is working tirelessly to get you to your dream. To find out more about how to access and expand your feminine energy, so you can experience the amazing benefits in your relationship and work life, and how to communicate what you feel and want without drama, book a free taster coaching session with me now. Click here to book now for a free taster coaching session with me. I look forward to sharing with you more of what I know works. Love Michelle x

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