JOOBA GUMBA WONDY By Andrew M. Frodahl. (Excerpts may be used royalty free for auditions.)
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1 JOOBA GUMBA WONDY By Andrew M. Frodahl (Excerpts may be used royalty free for auditions.) AUDITION 1-4 m, 5 w In this scene, the students discover they need to hunt for breakfast. (AT RISE: The Wondian Wonder Resort. TODD, LINDSAY, DUNCAN, and KASEY are sitting on stumps.) LINDSAY: I didn t think I would have to take a sponge bath till I was in a nursing home. MS. KINKADE: (Entering, wiping HER hair with a towel.) Dear, you should have gone down to the creek with me. So refreshing. I feel like a new woman! DUNCAN: Dude, I m starving. TODD: Catubay said breakfast would be here in a minute. (JARED enters from the hut putting patches on himself.) LINDSAY: Jared, do you have a smoking problem we don t know about? JARED: No, they are emotional patches prescribed by my doctor. DUNCAN: What?! JARED: (Points to head.) This patch here is for anxiety. If I get anxious it activates and sends a calming reassurance to my mind. (Points to stomach.) This one here is for upset stomach. KASEY: And they work? JARED: Usually. LINDSAY: What s the one by your neck for? JARED: Rejection. It sends positive feelings to my heart. MS. KINKADE: What a load of bologna!
2 (DAILYN enters. She is trying to make the most of it and is dressed in a bikini top and grass skirt. TEAL and CATUBAY enter after her.) TODD: Wow. DUNCAN: You said it. I didn t know the school brain had legs like that. TODD: Excuse me, but that is my girl you are talking about. DAILYN: I m not a piece of property, Todd. I belong to no one. KASEY: Boy, it got cold all of a sudden. TODD: I didn t know you owned anything like that. DAILYN: I don t. Teal here let me borrow some of her native attire. I figured if I m here I will make the best of it. MS. KINKADE: That s the spirit! TEAL: Are you hungry? EVERYONE: Starving! TEAL: Let s go fatten you all up. (Hands out spears to the BOYS and blow darts to the GIRLS.) DUNCAN: Cool! LINDSAY: What are these for? TEAL: Time to go get breakfast. JARED: Wait, you mean we have to catch our own food? LINDSAY: What!? TEAL: Here on Jooba Gumba Wondy, if you hungry you hunt. Either we go down to water and fish, or we go hunting for Jooba birds. DUNCAN: Sweet! Let s go kill something! TEAL: Fish? Or Jooba birds? MS. KINKADE: I m feeling mighty hungry myself; this Jooba bird sounds great! KASEY: Todd, you want to go catch a fish with me? TODD: Dailyn, what do you feel like? DAILYN: I can get fish back in the States. But a Jooba bird? Go fish, Todd. The less I see of you the better. Let s go, Teal. DUNCAN: Ouch! See ya, man. TEAL: Those who want to fish follow Catubay down that path. Those wanting Jooba bird come with me.
3 DUNCAN: (To TEAL.) Where ever you are going is where I m going. JARED: What if you don t want either? I was hoping for pancakes? TEAL: Make sure you stay with Catubay, no matter what. MS. KINKADE: (Flirtatious.) See you later, Catubay! Absence makes the heart grow stronger! (TEAL, DUNCAN, DAILYN, and MS. KINKADE exit.) TODD: Hey, Jared, you have any more of those rejection patches? KASEY: You don t need one of those patches when you got a rebound to catch right here. Race you to the beach! (KASEY grabs Todd s hat and runs off. TODD chases her.) TODD: Hey! JARED: I guess it s you and me? LINDSAY: (Rolls eyes.) I hate this! The brochure had crepes and fresh fruit! JARED: I wanted pancakes. (BLACKOUT.) AUDITION 2-4 m, 5 w In this scene,todd, Kasey, and Lindsay struggle in the jungle. (The THREE walk back SL. Kasey stops when she discovers a sign that wasn t there before. It reads: DANGER AND.) KASEY: Look, a sign! A sign! We are saved! TODD: (Reading.) Danger And? And what? KASEY: That s strange. Part of the sign is missing? LINDSAY: And the American embassy? KASEY: Lindsay, I think that is a bit of a stretch. LINDSAY: Danger and ants?
4 KASEY: But they are back that way. TODD: Well, we can t go this way without knowing what the and is. KASEY: I m not going back where there is an army of flesheating ants. TODD: I hate this. It s like Wheel of Fortune, only Vanna White refuses to turn the letters. (Picks up the sign.) Danger and what? WHAT! LINDSAY: I m going. I don t care anymore. (Takes a few steps past the sign and stops. Her feet are hidden by brush and rocks.) I m stuck! You guys, I can t move! (Starts to sink down.) KASEY: Looks like some pretty sticky mud. TODD: That isn t mud. LINDSAY: I m sinking?! TODD: She is in quicksand! LINDSAY: Quicksand? Nononono, I can t be. (Now sunk up to her waist.) TODD: What do we do? KASEY: Don t panic! TODD: I am! (Runs around panicking.) LINDSAY: Guys, help! KASEY: A branch! Get a branch! TODD: (Frantically looks for a branch. Reaches up and grabs what he thinks is a branch from a tree. It s a python.) I got one! Here, Lindsay, grab hold. (Holds out the snake.) LINSDAY: Snake! (The snake wraps itself around TODD who panics and starts thrashing around. LINDSAY keeps sinking. She is up to her armpits now.) TODD: Aah! It s wrapping itself around me! KASEY: Todd, don t panic! It will know you are afraid. TODD: I am! Shoot it! Shoot it! I can t breathe! KASEY: Shoot it? TODD: With the blow dart! Hurry! LINDSAY: All I wanted was to meet a cute French guy.
5 (KASEY grabs the blow dart gun from her belt. She loads it and aims. She fires it at the snake, but it hits TODD in the leg.) TODD: Aah! It bit me! My leg, it s going numb! (Starts limping while struggling with the snake still coiled around him.) KASEY: Oops. Let me try again. Hold still! (KASEY takes aim again and fires. This time it hits TODD in the buttocks. He grabs his butt with his free hand.) TODD: Did you shoot me? You shot me! KASEY: I m sorry, I don t know what I m doing, okay?! I have one dart left. TODD: It s crushing my ribs. Kasey! (LINDSAY disappears from sight. KASEY loads one more dart and aims. Fires! It strikes TODD in the neck. He grabs where it struck him.) TODD: (Cont d.) I, I whoa! (TODD collapses. KASEY runs to him. The snake lets go and is next to him.) KASEY: Todd! I m sorry! But I think I got it! It looks dead. Todd? Please get up! Lindsay, I think these darts might be poisoned. Todd s skin looks bad. Lindsay? Lindsay? (Gets to HER feet and runs over to the quicksand.) Lindsay! Oh no! She s gone. Jared s gone. Todd? (Beat.) I m alone! (BLACKOUT.) From: Jooba Gumba Wondy By Andrew M. Frodahl Published by: Eldridge Publishing Co.
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