TSL Online Week 6! Connecting!

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2 TSL Online Week 6 Connecting Rapport Cycling In the prior week we learned some very strategic techniques to get us into Rapport. This week we are going to leaner something even more powerful and simple - Rapport Cycling. To put it simply, we will learn a form of conversation that will allow us to be ourselves and connect deeply to someone else. It can be done in any situation and to any personal as long as they interact and are good for us to interact with. All you need are a few things. This week we will go over those few things and begin to workshop them. Next week we will focus on workshopping and application only.

3 What you will learn - Topics Structure Templates Very simply Rapport Cycles are built from knowing the Topics that you re interested in (Consult the Identity Workbook), putting them in a 4 point Structure and using Templates to help train you into conversations. All you need to do is start using them. You should start using them as soon as possible in a conversation. You will learn a lot faster is you simply engage/open with them.

4 Topics - Rapport Cycles will allow you to talk about any topic of conversation intimately. You want your topics to be based on you. Consult the Identity Workbook and pick 2 topics. One that you re comfortable with and one that you re uncomfortable with. The process is simple - 1-Choose a Topic - Based off our life, experiences and perspectives 2-Rapport Cycling on the Topic Here is a quick instruction to using some staple topics that experience has proven to work well. However, your topics will be more personal and have more meaning for you. It is best to design your own and workshop them on the calls.

5 Topics One of the easiest ways to make verbal Qualification work for you is to start being more constructive about your Topics. There are basically 2 rules you need to help you choose your topics 1- Choose a Topic that is something that you can talk about. You have experiences and perspectives with it. 2- Voice the topic so that women can understand it. In Lesson 1 we explored a lot about ourselves. In what we found, discovered and uncovered we are going to use as fuel for what we are going to talk about. It doesn t matter if the topics are positive or negative, you can talk about any of them to a woman. As long as they have to do with yourself, and a woman can understand them. Topics to use have only one rule - You value them. As for me personally I have listed a few topics I like to talk about. The reason why I like to use them is because everyone can talk about them and everyone can also have a logical discussion, emotional conversation about all of them. This is important in how I communicate when I am looking to gain more rapport - Talk about what can penetrate emotionally, is embedded deep in their psychology and something that is easily talked about. This mindset of function and easy is much more applicable than having the sole idea that qualification is only to challenge. Your challenge must have substance behind it.

6 My Topics - Passions - Purpose - Ideals - Identity - Personal Change - Sexuality - Masculine and Feminine Roles - Fears - Insecurities - Family

7 Here is a way I would initially bring up these topics. As the lesson continues you will learn how to turn them into conversations. Passions- What are you passionate about? Do you live the life you want to live? I bet you know what you re really passionate about, but d you live it Purpose Do you know what you want to do with your life? Are you someone who lives by what you believe? If I asked you what you wanted to do with your life, could you say you are doing it? Ideals- What is your Ideal Life? If I said I had 3 to 4 ideals that keep me grounded do you know what I would mean What are the most important things to you? Identity- Do you know who you really are? Do you feel there is any difference between who you are and what people see? Are you confident with who you are as a person? Sexuality- What is sexuality to you? Are you someone who hides from things that people might judge you for? What to you is the most primal part of you? Masculine and Feminine Roles- How would you define attraction? Do you feel like a woman? What to you defines a man? Fears- What do you think controls you more, passions or fears What is the one thing you are most afraid of? Do you think you always do what you want?

8 Insecurities Do you think that you show your insecurities? Are you someone who is more attracted to someone s insecurities or strong points? What is your favorite insecurity? Family Are you close to your family? Do you think that how someone s family views them shapes them? Are you someone close to your father or do you have a bunch of bad tattoos.

9 Designing your Topic This is something that is just as important as the idea of Qualification. The reason why I bring this up is because this completely eludes people when I work with them live. For me it is simple, mainly because I have worked live for many years with many clients designing customized forms of communication. I have also written hundreds of custom outlines and designs for people s communication. When I first started working in this industry I made a good living writing a product called theredstack. It was a customize manual for you. Basically there was an interview process and a profile written by the client and after that I designed a map of communication for him. Whatever his motives were I would write it. If he wanted to meet the woman of his dreams of have better sexual experiences with women I would write it. What s interesting is it was so successful that I stopped advertising it for over 3 years and I still had people inquiring about it. It was doing work like this that made me almost instantaneous in designing topics for people. Getting Started - The basic idea is that we all have stories about our life and unique perspectives. If we bring up things that are too unique no one can relate. My solution for this when coming up with my own dialogues as well as working with guys personally is to put them into more general topics (like the ones listed above). If I can gain a skill to have people understand a general topic then I have have people understand me. For instance if I want to talk about sex, I won t talk about the specifics of sex first, I will first talk about one or all of there things. The concept of sex The parts of my life influenced by sex first without talking about sex. Relationships Attraction

10 All these things people can talk about. Example - The concept of sex - Hey i have a question about sex and sexuality, people talk about sex all the time but nobody really thinks about what it means to them. The parts of my life sex has influenced - I have always valued being a driven and ambitious person. But that ambition carries over into all my life. Kind of like my mental, emotional and physical. We can feel ambition in terms of relationships and sex to our financial goals. Relationships - How would you define your ideal relationship? Would it be more sexual or emotional? Attraction - What are you attracted to? Are you attracted by sexuality or features? Here is another example from a conversation with a friend - A short while ago I was with a buddy of mine in a strip club and he said, You just seem to talk about anything What I explained to him is in reality I only talk about a few things. I literally only talk about 3 topics with women (most of the time). - Sex - Male and Female perspectives - Passions However I know how to get back to those topics and have hundreds of stories about each of those topics. The best way to look at this is through examples from real clients. Let s look at a topic that many guys might have a close relationship to...

11 Fitness - There are many men out there that want to be in better shape, or already are in great shape. Every single one of these guys has their own unique way they got in shape and they are emphatic about it. Some guys follow a specific diet, like the Paleo Diet, Zone Diet, Veganism or Vegetarianism. Some guys mix Cardio with counting calories, other guys went to the gym 7 days a week the fact is that there are 1000s of ways to get int shape. Recently I had a client tell me what he values about himself is his health and pursuit of health, but he doesn t want to sound bragging or narcissistic. He also said that he finds healthy women attractive too. What we want to do is a few things in designing our topic - Determine a general topic that can encompass this all - Point out our perspective of ourselves - Point out what we are attracted to - Have that topic be able to link to them This may sound complex but once we start getting active with it, you will see it is simple. If we do all these things it won t come across like bragging or being a narcissistic selfcentered person. You will come across confident and proud of yourself wanting to share this all with others. There are a few Topics that I would think can give this all a general guide to the idea of fitness. - Personal Change - Passions - Purpose - Insecurities It could really be endless, however, you want to pick just one. I tend to bring up the Topic of Personal Change when talking to people. This is a little bit of a sneak preview to the things coming up in the next pages, but you could say something like Hey I know we just met but what is your perspective on personal change? She will most likely be confused, but try and follow along. When someone is confused you explain yourself, right? The reason why I ask is because I think people can get way to carried away with the idea of personal change, I mean you see it sold to us over and over again like a commodity. But for me I have actually done it in some ways, and to me it has more to do with self- respect than anything. I think one of the most attractive things is when people can respect themselves.

12 Let me ask you what do you consider a big change in your life? You can see here, the feeling of this dialogue has less to do about the specifics of your journey and more about the main Topic. That being said, as the dialogue continues you can definitely get more specific and then talk about your Body by Science plan or P90X or whatever it is you do. Your main job in Designing your Topics is that you need to have them understand it first.

13 Directing your Topics Having the end in mind The direction you take is part of the Design. In the above example you can see that I am not yet talking about the specifics of how I workout. I have given it a general theme to attach to first. Once they understand that I am good, but I need to take it a step further. I need to have my end in mind. This is motivated by - What you want - What you re attracted to - What do you like people to be attracted to - How you want to interact with this person For instance when it comes to Fitness, I might like a girl who - - Takes care of her body - That looks good in a bikini - Eats healthy - Likes to be active I want that end goal in mind, so my conversation moves in that direction. This is why things like the Identity Workbook are so important. You not only get to explore yourself but you can now communicate using yourself, even exploring yourself more. For me personally when I meet a girl I might know and I want to get to the overall idea that she is - - Someone who values taking care of herself - Someone who is sexually open - Someone who is ambitious - Someone who is open-minded This does not mean that she is just kind of these things. It means that I want to truly qualify her on it. I want to know if she is a match for me, how I live and my values. Even if my motives are superficial and I just want a physical relationship with her, I need to know what I want and how to qualify her to see if we are a match. This is direction is completely

14 navigated by what we are attracted to. You are using yourself and your perspective to Qualify what you re attracted to. The best way to show this is to give an example from my clients. My clients always ask me how I can get on the topic of sex so quickly. Sometimes I can ask about it right away and other times it might take a while. The key is I know there are a couple of topics that I know can transition into sex, or elicit what I am interested in a woman sexually. This is where I start. I know the end goal is to qualify them sexually, so I move in that direction. What makes this work more than any logical or technical mechanic in this is my own inspiration and drive to talk about sex. For instance, I might know that I like to talk about how a woman is fulfilled sexually. Through experience I know that one road to that might be bringing up these topics in this order - - What is attraction - How those feelings of attraction are fulfilled in her - Does she feel like a woman - How does a woman feel sexual - What is sexuality If I can get to if she feels like a woman, I can have an open conversation about sex and qualify her on her sexual fulfillment. This level of conversation would be enough for me to know whether I wanted to continue talking to her in a sexual manner. If one of my clients is unemployed (in this economy this is quite common), they think they can never bring this up. It is one of the best things you can bring up. In Designing the Direction I might want to get to the end idea that - - Personal freedom is my greatest value - The most attractive thing about a woman is her open-mindedness towards a man s ambition.

15 My Direction and Direction might be - - Are you open-minded - Although I am unemployed it allows me to see so much more of me - Freedom is a huge value of mine - What does value mean to her - Qualify on her open-mindedness As you will see in the up coming pages, even though we are starting and ending this with being open-minded we have a goal of truly qualifying what we are attracted to. We need to paint that picture through our perspectives. All this will make more sense as we move further into defining Rapport Cycling, however we need to still remember that we are going in a distinct direction.

16 Rapport Cycling The Structure Rapport Cycling is simply a technique that takes Qualification and not only amplifies it but also puts it immediately into a conversation. To understand it and grow with it we need to explore the 4 elements of Rapport Cycling Opening Question or Qualifier The Ground The Challenge (a heavier or heavier voicing of the Qualifier) The Definition The Opening Qualifier is to just start things off. However the whole Cycle is the true Qualifier. We have spent some time defining what Qualification means, lets define the other elements you will see as we Cycle Rapport.

17 Opening Question or Qualifier Simply put the main purpose of this is to Transition Guide Get you in the Conversation You Want It is a very simple strategy. If you simply can get someone thinking and move it to a grounding process you re good. That even goes for someone not fully understanding you. For instance if you say something confusing, the natural thing to do is explain yourself.

18 The Ground - Grounding is simply a story about you someone else perspective. Grounding is necessary because we want all of our interactions to be based off of who we are. If we don t have a story to articulate that is based on us then it should be based off of an experience we can share. This can also be someone else s experience because we might use it to share our perspective. We can also simply not tell a story and share our perspective. The main thing is that we make it reflective on who we are. Here are some examples If I want to share a story about the topic of success I can tell a story based on Myself When I started working at the age of 16 I really didn t care about money or anything like that, I just wanted independence. It wasn t till I was in my 30s that I started to make any money, but still the same thing that defined my success had everything to do with my freedom. Someone else My friend Vince has always been the guy in my head that defined success. The reason being is because he did whatever he wanted. It was like his lifestyle was so unique to him. He had a good business sense, huge work ethic, simple life and always looked like a bum, yet he was one of the wealthiest men I knew. Through all that he always kept a full time job as a nurse. My Perspective Success is such an odd topic. Everyone defines it in so many different ways. But if it doesn t serve you in every way then it will work against you. It is kind of like a marriage, if there are 20 things that you need to make a marriage work and you only have 19 then it won t work. Success means having everything in its right place. Notice how all of these may talk about many different things, but they all talk about success. Also in the story about someone else it is not necessarily me only talking about them, it is talking about them to share my perspective. Your ground will always be about you. You need to share your perspective to truly assert yourself. Another important aspect to Grounding is the structure of it.

19 In most of the things covered in this PDF our Grounds will be short. Maybe only 2 lines maybe 6, but there is a structure to it. Either way the Ground is centered around you, however there is a second part to it that needs to transition into her. 1 - My story 2 - How it relates to her For instance if you were to structure the Ground you could think of it like How I would structure my story would be something that I think is attractive or interesting. How I would structure how it relates to her would be based on what I find attractive about women. This may sound complex but here are some examples If I really like that I can be emotional that might structure my story. And if I think it is attractive when a girl realizes sees me as an emotional guy I might say I am someone who has always been more on the emotional side of things. In fact I think that most men are ashamed of that, but it has given me more depth. A woman that can see that is really attractive. Another example might be I like to travel, but I am really attracted towards open- minded women. This would shape my Ground. You know I have always been an open- minded person and I think one of the biggest reflections of that is travel. I love it, but in a very unique way. You being an attractive woman probably have a different perspective. You can see that towards the end of the Ground there is something connecting it to them. In review The Ground is simply - A story about myself, someone else or my perspective - Fairly short (at least for now) - Shares my story but connects to her

20 The Challenge - Rapport Cycling is based on Qualification. It almost always starts with a Qualifier or question. However you need to see the whole process of the cycle as a Qualifier. This means that the entire dialog that is delivered (including the Ground) is a part of the Qualifier. Rapport Cycling allows you to get massive Rapport however it also will fulfill all 4 functions of Qualification as well. This is done through this component The Challenge. A Challenge comes right after the Ground and will truly Challenge the Topic. Essentially Qualification was meant to Challenge in some ways, however, this process engages through the initial Qualifier (Topic), then engages through the Ground and Challenges with the second Qualifier. If in our Ground we share a part of ourselves and link it to them we can follow it up with another question. That question will have more meaning because it follows the Ground. Sounds confusing? Let s look at some examples. Topic - Insecurities. My story - I am honest about my insecurities. What I am attracted to - women being confident with their insecurities I can say something like - I have always been someone that thinks being human is a beautiful thing. The good and the bad. For instances I have fears just like anyone else. I mean one of my biggest fears is that people can see my insecurities. But I think it is different for you. But women don t realize that one of the most attractive qualities a woman can have is if she is confident about things that may not be her strongest points. Let me ask you, what do you think is your most attractive about you that other people might think is a bad thing? That last line is the Challenge. Here is another example Topic Integrity My story I can be easy going but with people and connections I hold them at the highest value. What I am attracted to A woman that is not flaky I can say something like You know what I think is one of the most interesting things about people is how we all connect. It is funny cause I have always been an easy going guy, I mean I just go with the flow, but when it comes to my relationships with people I feel they re the most

21 important thing. One of the least attractive qualities in someone is when they re flaky. It would be great to get your perspective on this cause women who have a lot going in their life like it seems you do might have a different perspective Are you a girl that values how you interact with people you re close too? You can see here that in the Ground I bring up my perspective on what I value, then before I connect to her I bring up that I find it unattractive to flake on people. What I ultimately challenge her on is the value. What is most important is here is that I am asserting myself. What is important about the idea of Challenging is that we must always remember that we are trying to cultivate what we are attracted to. In examining the Design and Direction of our Topics we learned that the end goal of your Topic needs to move in the direction of what you are attracted to. We need to learn how to Challenge a girl on what we find attractive. If we do our best at getting to this Challenge and she can not answer then she is not Qualified to talk to us. I guarantee you, if you get good at Challenging the girls who Challenge you back and redefine your Challenges will be the ones you re most attracted to. This is my end goal of a Challenge. It isn t to dominate, it is to reciprocate.

22 The Definition - We have begun our understanding of Qualification. We also have begun to understand how to base it off ourselves through Grounding. We understand that we need to Challenge on what we are attracted to. However one thing that people always seem to forget it to put a definition on it. There is a term in the PUA Industry called Framing. It actually comes from NLP meaning that you put a frame around you and that person. When teaching for the first 2 years all people asked me about was Framing. This is main because I was a student of Captain Jack s and he would say one of the most important things you need to do is Sexually Frame a woman in order to sleep with her the same night you met her. In exploring the idea of framing more and more it evolved into the simple idea of putting a definition on all of your interactions. Sometimes it can be as simple as stating my definition, other times my structure of dialogue might build the definition. The main thing is that you need to be proactive in achieving a Definition to your interactions with people. This is an extension of the knowing the Direction you want to move your topic in. You want it to have an end point. The design of your Rapport Cycling needs to get to this end point or definition. For instance lets look at another example popular from my clients. - I like my accomplishments but they are unpopular with women - I am attracted to women who can show emotion back to me - I am very technically minded This is a very popular dynamic for many guys. Believe it or not it is one of the best set ups you can have to gain interest in about anyone. And the more people you can gain interest with them more selection you can have to truly Qualify them. Let s look at how we could define all of this Up until now we have been presenting questions and ideas to women. We might even be asking heavy questions, and the act alone of that will gain interest and even women attracted to you, but we want to take things further. We want to Define our relationship with someone we like. From what is listed above we can see that the client is attracted to someone who can be really emotional with them.

23 Their definition can be a simple statement You know you re someone who I can tell really understands my perspective, but in an emotional way. Opening Qualifier I know we just met, but I wanted to ask you what do think is the most important aspect of your life? The Ground The reason why I ask is because I am a really technically minded person, I can be blind to a lot of things about how people interact. I mean I have always accomplished a lot and overachieved at times, but if you don t experience it with To understand how I can fire off this Definition let s incorporate all the tools above someone it means nothing. Even though we just met I think that you understand this dynamic with yourself too, but in a different way The Challenge What is the most important quality about connecting with someone? As long as she you still feel she is qualified to talk to you, Define it The Definition You know you re someone who I can tell really understands my perspective, but in an emotional way. Lets take another look at it in a bit more aggressive form. We will stick with the same personality profile as the above example. However in looking at our Direction and Design we know that we want our Definition to be more about her being an emotionally sexual person. Opening Qualifier I am really curious about what you want in life? The Ground I know that is a really deep question and we just met, but I am someone who can be a little bit too detached at times. I mean I have always been technically minded and that can be helpful at times, but I really value human connection, but it can be one of the hardest things for me. Humanity at its core is socializing, I mean even sexuality is a part of that. Those are the things that I am always a step away from The Challenge So let me ask you, what is something that defines the essence of a woman to you?

24 The Definition You know I can tell you were a bit shy there, and that is understandable, but I think I could understand where you were coming from emotionally in that feminine sensuality sort of way. One of the main reasons why Definitions are so important is because when escalating with a woman in an interaction we are always looking for a sign. She might feel uncomfortable and you might feel uncomfortable because there is no Definition on how we should interact. One of the best examples of this is a job where your boss does not have a clear definition on what your job is. You may know what your job description is but you have no clear direction. This makes you have an unpleasant experience with your job and your boss. You need to do this same thing with the people you interact with including the women. Now that we have a definition on the elements that make up Rapport Cycling let s take a look at the different patterns I want you to focus on. Ultimately all you need for Rapport Cycling are the above elements listed; however, what is going to make you understand the elements are some templates to achieve success with. In the remaining part of the PDF we are going explore 5 patterns to model your Topics off of. These 5 patterns are the Cycles of Rapport.

25 Rapport Cycling The Cycles Here you are going to learn 5 templates we call Cycles that will allow you to start plugging in your topics into amazingly in depth conversations with the women you want. The reason why we call them Cycles is because they never truly end, they can simply lead into each other or repeat so long as you change the specifics of the topics. Cycle 1 The Challenge To Boldly State what you appreciate and what you value. You do this by briefly talking about yourself then asking an important question roughly based on what you say about yourself. The result is that it will force the conversation and situation to become humbled to your values as quickly as possible. Cycle 2 Qualify to Define This is quite possible my favorite pattern to demonstrate Rapport Cycling, you have heard me use it on a ton of the calls already. It follows a simple pattern Qualify Ground Qualify Define. The result we are looking for other than getting deep with a girl you will get you tons of Compliance. The Frame at the end works because you will have run a huge compliance Ladder. Cycle 3 5 Point Rapport The 5 Points is very similar to Qualify to Define. I say this because it has so much compliance based in it. Its goal is that you can Frame Based off of it as well as gain some Heavy Grounding off of it. This one seems complex every time I lay it out to people, but once applied it is really simple to get and very effective. Cycle 4 The Cycle This is exactly what the title is. It means you get to a point where you ask the same question, but building depth each time you ask. It depends on the situation. However you can ask it one after the other, or you can ask, change subjects for a second then ask again. It mainly gains compliance and it does gain some depth to the conversation, but you will see it will really gain control of a conversation in a variety of situations. Cycle 5 Vague to Deep People always say I am too Vague and I am hard to follow. Or they will intently listen to me, and they know what I am saying is really important but they will walk away from it having no idea what I said, but they will feel a close bond to me. This is something I naturally do. I will attempt to articulate something I think or feel but it will not have a solid foundation to it.

26 Then I will just ask a serious question. It plows forward pretty hard in fact if you re really ready to move on to the next part of this, to the real descriptions of these, you can see how this worked with laying out these 5 Patterns. I never defined them, but briefly described them. It forced you to focus more on what I was saying. The Vagueness (which is more my nature than a calculated trick) builds compliance for getting my concepts. The only thing that is missing is me Challenging you to continue. What you will gain from this Pattern is some Depth and some really interesting Compliance. I have learned to use and teach Qualification in patterns, resulting in ca conversation getting you into deep Rapport as well as accomplishing all of the functions of Qualification. This is far different than using a Ladder which is still useful if done differently than it is usually assumed, but when you use it in a pattern you can do some pretty amazing things that will dwarf the results that you can achieve in its most common forms. Now before we get into the details of these Patterns, let s remember all we re doing is taking Topics and putting them into these Patterns. We are starting to Cycle Rapport.

27 Cycle 1 The Challenge To boldly state what you appreciate and what you value. You do this by briefly talking about yourself then asking an Important Question roughly based on what you say about yourself. The result is that it will force the conversation and situation to become in line with your values as quickly as possible. When to Use it As soon as you realize you like somebody Where Good for Daytime, Nighttime or Hired Guns mainly because it is so quick How to use it In the Daytime or in Isolation it can be confronting. If you are not in isolation during the nighttime, it can be used more like a transition, and even have a humorous edge. This Pattern is very simple, all we are doing is briefly giving a Grounding Story (5-15 seconds worth) and then Qualifying based on that. 1- Ground - State something about yourself that has to do with one of the topics above (Passions, Ideals, Fears) 2- Challenge - Then ask them something directly about this. Show intent and seriousness with all of this. You can be playful in the grounding part, but you need to show you are interested in the Challenge. For instance let s say your Topic is Passions - one might say Ground You know I have always been someone driven by my dreams. I grew up in a small town and when I was 16 I left and the rest is history. Challenge What are you passionate about? You see how it has a confronting feel to it? You do not need to be too specific with the Ground you just want to show that this perspective is based off of you and your life experience. Example 2 - Topic Fear of what other people think of you.

28 Ground You know I have always been someone that has taken chances but the biggest thing that always got in my way was what other people thought of me. Challenge You re attractive, but are you someone who is confident enough to not have your fears get in the way of who you attract? If you re looking at these examples and you don t see how the challenge can have the impact that we are going for, I want you think of it more in terms of how much leverage the Grounding has. Probably the best example of this came from a woman who was talking to my friends in Las Vegas. She told them how she had nearly died in a car accident. No one expected her to live, and then she turned around and not only survived but built a successful life. After she said that, she directly asked them, If I asked you what you wanted to do with your life right now, could you answer? She completely stumped them. At that point she not only had the power of the conversation, but also she defined the depth of her persona.

29 Cycle 2 Qualify to Frame This is quite possibly my favorite Pattern to show. If you have seen me speak, I have probably demonstrated how it works. It follows a simple Pattern Qualify, Ground, Qualify and Frame. The result we are looking for other than getting deep is you will get tons of Compliance. The Frame at the end works because you will have run a huge compliance Ladder. This pattern may look complex, but it is easy to get. We often do it naturally. It is one of the best examples of how Compliance works. When to Use it As soon as you realize you like somebody, or to keep a conversation going. Almost all these patterns of Qualification you can just interrupt most conversations to bring it up. Where Good for all types of interactions How to use it It can be done in 2 different ways, it can be done Quickly for tight situations, like if there is a time constraint or it is in the nighttime and you have a small window of opportunity, or you can give it more depth if you have the time. Example 1 - It is simple we pick a Topic and first we Qualify on that Topic. Q - Are you someone that is comfortable with their sexuality? Then before they even answer, we are going to define what that means to us by Grounding. G - The reason why I ask is because I was always someone who felt that most people are more insecure about the things they don t talk about, and sex is one of those things. In fact I had a huge issue myself. Then you are going to Qualify again. In this case you are going to Qualify with the same Qualifier, but it can be different. Q - So are you someone who is confident in your sexuality?

30 Now here she may not even answer, that is fine. We are just going to put a definition on the end of it. We are going to top it all off with a statement or a frame. F - You know, you re someone that I can tell is really open- minded. I feel that you re someone that can really appreciate trust. How this mechanism works is that even if they are not answering any of the Qualifiers, they are still following and investing with you. This is so easy and effective you can try it out right now. Example 2 Purpose is the Topic Here is one more example using the Topic of Purpose. Q - What is it you are driven by? G - The reason why I ask is cause I have had some huge blocks in my life, and what I realized is when I had nothing I was only left with one thing, that was my purpose and that is to focus on my connections with people Q - So what is it that you re driven by? F - You know I can tell that you re someone who knows exactly what you were born to do, but your relationships get in the way. You are not confident in how you attract the right man. This is by far the simplest way to use this, you can make things a bit more advanced, but for now I want you to only focus on the Topics and how you can creatively use it to work on these Patterns. Like I said this is one of the easiest and most functional Patterns. Now this Brings us to another Pattern that will allow use to do many of the same functions of the Qualify to Frame Pattern.

31 Cycle 3 5 Point Qualification The 5 Points is very similar to Qualify to Frame. I say this because it has so much Compliance based in it. Its goal is to Frame as well as allow you to Ground very heavily. This one seems complex every time I lay it out to people, but once applied it is really simple to get and very effective. When to Use it As soon as you realize you like somebody, or to keep a conversation going. This will really lead a conversation in a very different and deep direction. Where Good for all types of interactions How to use it This one is probably best for Daytime, Hired Guns, or in Bars and Lounges. It takes a lot of time so you almost need isolation built into the delivery of it. As I say with many of these Patterns you can bring them up just by interrupting. The Pattern works like this 1 Bring up the Topic 2 Briefly mention how that affects you 3 Qualify Hard 4 Buffer and Ground 5 Transition or Frame So now let s give some examples of this. Example 1 - We choose the Topic of Ideals 1 Bringing up the Topic You know how what you do in life might have nothing to do with what you really think internally. 2 How it affects you This is something that has always been really tough for me. (Notice how the first 2 parts of this Pattern are very vague. This is part of the set up) 3 Heavy Qualifier For instance do you know what your purest ideals are?

32 4 Buffer into Heavy ground I am sorry, I didn t mean to intimidate you, but something for me that has always affected me has been the fact that I have not ever been able to live with my ideals fully. People always say that they do, but in reality, life and family can get in the way. When I was growing up, my family life really got in the way of things and I never had confidence in what was mine. Especially my ideals, I allowed my identity to shape my life not what was really inside me. 5 Transition or Frame (here we are going to Frame, but you can also do a take away here to alleviate the intensity or you could Re- Qualify) You know I think I get along best with people that have an open- mind like you. Most people probably don t see that, and that frustrates you, but that is also what makes you so attractive. I will give you another example but really applying and being creative with this Pattern will give you a good understanding of it much more than anything. Example 2 We choose the topic of Sexuality 1 Bringing up the Topic (Remember you don t need to be really direct here. You just need something that will be able to transition into the topic. There is nothing wrong with being a little bit Vague) You know how people can communicate on different levels? 2 How it affects you (This is actually where you can be the most vague. In fact you want this to be as if you have brought up a topic Part 1 then you are trying to explain yourself Part

33 2 then because you can t fully explain yourself you move to Part 3.) I think that I have been really bold about certain things, but when it comes to certain things I get really nervous 3 Heavy Qualifier (So you have set up a situation that sounds like you are trying to explain yourself and to make your point more, you are asking this Question. This is quite possibly one of the most useful tools to making a hard transition, like in this case, asking about Sexuality.) Actually let me put this in a different way, are you someone comfortable with your Sexuality? 4 Buffer into Heavy ground (the Buffer part of this is to diffuse the tension. Believe it or not this is a great compliance tool. However compliance is starting, stopping and starting again, so it is useless unless you can not just diffuse the tension, but also redefine it. This is where our grounding will come into play. The deeper the grounding the better.) I am sorry I didn t mean to offend you, but the reason why I asked is cause that is the best example of showing you how dynamics can change between different people. I can be really bold in terms of business, but the things that shaped my life the most was when I realized that I could be more comfortable alone with a girl I barely knew than I could be alone with myself. It was really hard for me to admit that to myself. 5 Transition or Definition (Here we are transitioning to defining what we are attracted to. However in this example it is a little more vague than a pure statement. ) Even though we just met, I can tell you are someone who really knows what they want, but are you someone that can feel comfortable alone with yourself. Do you think you re sexy?

34 Cycle 4 The Cycle This is exactly what the title is. It means you get to a point where you ask the same Question, but building depth each time you ask. It depends on the situation. However, you can ask it one after the other, or you can ask, change subjects for a second then ask again. It mainly gains compliance and it does gain some depth to the conversation, but you will see it will really gain control of a conversation in a variety of Situations. When to Use it As soon as you realize you like somebody, or to keep a conversation going. This pattern is quite aggressive; it can really be kind of pushy. You should use it to see how Qualification works, you really see if someone accepts your value or not. Where Good for all types of interactions How to use it This one is probably best for Daytime, Hired Guns, or in Bars and Lounges. It takes a lot of time so you almost need isolation built into the delivery of it. As I say with many of these Patterns you can bring them up just by interrupting. If you do use it in a club, your delivery just needs to have more animation to it. I feel that this Pattern should be a requirement for anybody starting out with Social Dynamics. The reason being is that it will allow you to not just ask Questions, but ask Questions so that you get a real answer from someone. For instance when asking a Question you want to be able to have them answer with their real emotions and not just some surface level answer. This may not be them verbally answering the question, it might be you asking them about their day, and instead of saying anything back about their day they get relaxed and ask you about why you think the way you do. So how they are Qualifying themselves has more to do with the compliance of the part of them you want to influence. If it is their emotions you want to influence, you need to gain compliance over their Emotions and not them answering a question about their emotions. There are almost no rules to this one, but because we are just learning it and all the patterns can blur into one at times, I am going to add some structure to this one. I want you to have a Ladder of 5 Questions to ask one after the other. Now she can respond to them, but you can also run over them. Probably better to allow her at least some time to think. How I want the structure for this one to go is 1- Ask question based on a general idea or concept 2- Ask a question based on yourself 3- Ask a question based on them

35 4- Ask a question based on how other people view them 5- Ask a question based on how you view them, and frame or define it. All the Cycles of Rapport have this as a goal, but in this Cycle you can really start to go for gaining this type of heavy Compliance. Here you are simply asking Question after Question until they begin to start showing that side of them they really want. So we will pick a Topic and our goal is to make them feel that Topic In order to do that, we will have a series of Questions that we will ask in a Ladder that have to do with that Topic and truly Challenge them. Example 1 We choose the topic of Masculine and Feminine Roles 1- Ask question based on a general idea or concept Do you think that men and women act like how you would envision men and women should act? She may be a little confused, but we want to essentially ask the same question but with a bit more direction 2- Ask a question based on yourself What I mean by that is that I think a lot of people could say what masculine and feminine is, but I don t think they feel that way do you feel that way? 3- Ask a question based on them What I mean is that many women feel they attract the wrong type of person, do you feel that your femininity attracts the right kind of masculinity? 4- Ask a question based on how other people view them Do you think that people see you in the ways that you see yourself? 5- Ask a question based on how you view them, and frame or define it. Cause I think that you are really sweet, but at the same time when you are really confronted with something you get nervous do you have trouble truly showing your most attractive side? Ok so you can see how you can get really deep.

36 Now as you get better with this one, I really want you to do it but take away the 5 part structure and just get better at asking the same question over and over again but building off of itself. Example 2 Topic of Ideals 1 - Ask a question based on a general idea or concept I know we just met, but let me ask you what you think about Ideals. 2 - Ask a question based on yourself You see because I have always been someone that has been really into my ideals, but I don t always live them do you know what I mean? 3 - Ask a question based on them You seem like you know what I am talking about, are you someone who can live what you feel is right all the time, or is that hard for you? 4 - Ask a question based on how other people view them The thing is that a lot of people really are good with seeing things with themselves, but do you think people see you in that way? 5 - Ask a question based on how you view them, and frame or define it. A lot of people are really get uncomfortable in all the wrong ways when I start talking about this stuff, I can tell you are someone who is really deep, do you always feel people see that? I think at this point you can see how the Cycle and the Challenge can really be so similar. All of them can be. You are just categorizing them now to help you learn, nothing else. Hopefully in a year s time you will not need to follow a pattern you will naturally do them.

37 Cycle 5 Vague to Deep People always say I am too Vague and I am hard to follow. Or they will intently listen to me, and they know what I am saying is really important but they will walk away from it having no idea what I said, but they will feel a close bond to me. This is something I naturally do. I will attempt to articulate something I think or feel but it will not have a solid foundation to it. Then I will just ask a serious question. It plows forward pretty hard in fact if you re really ready to move on to the next part of this, to the real descriptions of these, you can see how this worked with laying out these 5 Patterns. I never defined them, but briefly described them. It forced you to focus more on what I was saying. The Vagueness (which is more my nature than a calculated trick) builds compliance for getting my concepts. The only thing that is missing is me Challenging you to continue. What you will gain from this Pattern is some Depth and some really interesting Compliance. When to Use it As soon as you realize you like somebody, or to keep a conversation going. This has so many uses, but the trick in it is that your vagueness will make them follow you more. You have got to get good at saying nothing but being entertaining, then hit them with a hard Qualifier. It is like you add a bunch of confusing stuff to the Challenge Pattern. Where Good for lower stimuli interactions. How to use it This one is probably best for Daytime, Hired Guns, or in Bars and Lounges. It takes a lot of time so you almost need isolation built into the delivery of it. As I say with many of these Patterns you can bring them up just by interrupting. The key to this Qualification Pattern is it is based off of confusion. That might sound weird, but it is not like you are trying to trick someone into answering a questions. You are actually making it harder for them to follow you so that you can get them to answer a deep question earlier on in the conversation. It is not like they are manipulated in their answer, it just makes it easier. Imagine this you are talking to a salesman, and he is trying to explain why his product is for you and you are not following him and he is not really following you. You are about to walk away and finally he asks What is it that you want? Then you are alert all of a sudden and you realize he has cut to the chase. That is what we are trying to do with this Qualification Pattern too.

38 I stumbled upon this naturally while having pretty good delivery and trying to explain deeper concepts. Finally when I realized that people were not following me I just asked a really heavy Qualifier to make my point. Get this pattern down and you can start using it to frame as well. Be confusing about the point that you are trying to make, and then just state it. You will also see when getting good with it, it can come in handy when you are really just trying to make a point and somehow it is not sinking in, hit em with the Qualifier. Example 1 Topic is Open- mindedness Vague part You know how you can meet someone and you know you like them but there is all this chaos involved. I mean it is hard to explain but it is like you like them but you don t. I think that you know, maybe you don t Qualifier Wait are you an open- minded person? Example 2 Topic is Sexual openness Vague part I think you might understand this but I am not sure are you someone that is really open, or do you feel that you are happy when you meet someone right away? I m not sure if you get this, people are so uptight about certain things Qualifier For instance are you someone who can feel more open towards something like sexuality with someone you don t know who won t judge you or someone who is more understanding towards you? This Qualifier has a very cut to the Chase feeling. It is very much like in the 5 Point Pattern.