MINDFULNESS. Making strong connections

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Asher Sparks
5 years ago
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1 MINDFULNESS Making strong connections

2 WHAT IS MINDFULNESS? "mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and non judgmentally. Jon Kabat-Zinn

4 GETTING CONNECTED USING MINDFULNESS Two examples

5 Let me tell the tale Of a girl who didn t stop, Who climbed up every mountain Without a pause upon the top. She d dance until each blade of grass Was clothed in drops of dew, And the sun knew her by name But the silver moon did too. For a fear had settled in her bones; A fear of sitting still, That if you re not moving forward It must mean you never will. So in time her dance got slower And she looked at all she d seen, But found gaps inside the places That she d never fully been, For she was a human doing Human moving, human seeing But she d never taken time To simply be a human being. (Erin Hansen, 2015)

6 Let me tell the tale Of the boy stuck in his head, Who spent time thinking about the past, And the future with great dread. He d go about his daily life, Consumed by all his thoughts, He d miss out on things around him, Especially his favourite sports. For he was a time traveller, A traveller in his mind, Who went to the past and future, To see what he would find. For his body was present in his life, But rarely was his mind, He didn t take time to do the things that mattered, To connect, be brave and kind. So in time he learnt to stop, Take a breath and look around, Bring himself into the present, And he was amazed at what he found. For he was a human thinking, Human analysing, human seeing But he d never taken time To simply be a human being.

8 THE EVIDENCE

9 2 MAIN BENEFITS OF MINDFULNESS THAT HELP US CONNECT 1. Mindfulness helps us to pause and allow our experience to to be as it is, without always reacting to it. We can notice anger and not react with aggressive behaviour. We can feel anxiety and not react with avoidance. 2. It allows us to explore our experiences and connections more fully and as a result, respond more appropriately to the demands of any given situation. It also allows us to appreciate the good things that are all around us. Hayes, L. & Ciarrochi, J. (2015) The Thriving Adolescent, Oakland CA: New Harbinger.

10 MYTHS OF MINDFULNESS

11 MYTH #1: MINDFULNESS INVOLVES LONG MEDITATION

12 THE TRUTH: YOU CAN BE MINDFUL WHEN DOING BASICALLY ANYTHING

14 MYTH #2: MINDFULNESS IS ABOUT EMPTYING YOUR MIND AND GETTING RID OF YOUR THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS

15 THE TRUTH: MINDFULNESS IS ABOUT NOTICING

17 MYTH #3: WE NEED TO BE PRESENT ALL THE TIME

18 THE TRUTH: YOU DON T NEED TO BE MINDFUL ALL THE TIME

19 HOW MINDFUL ARE YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN? Think about your own life. How often do you take time to stop, notice and be truly present? Do you spend a lot of time thinking about what you need to do in the future? Counting down the days? Are you ever on auto-pilot? What are the things you do that are mindful or not mindful? How often are you the dog in the park? How connected are you to the people around you? What about your kids? How present are they in their day-to-day lives? What do you do together that could be done more mindfully?

20 HOW CAN WE HELP YOUNG PEOPLE BE MORE MINDFUL? MODEL MINDFULNESS Be present in your own life. Model it and encourage them to be present too. Take a breath and stop. Don t act in haste Slow down Engage in mindful conversations - don t see your children as a problem to be fixed Engage in mindful activities

they grow into adults who live for the future, meanwhile the seconds of

21 ENJOY THE MOMENT Children are growing up in a society that is mindless. Young people get so much reinforcement for preparing for the future that they grow into adults who live for the future, meanwhile the seconds of each day evaporate. Enjoy the moment, don t always count down until the next minute.

22 Don t try to do TOO much. Encourage mindful engagement and authentic activities Coach young people to stop and notice the world around them and within them.

HELP YOUR CHILDREN TO ALLOW FEELINGS No parent wants their children to feel upset, down, frustrated, angry, anxious or depressed So we do whatever it

23 HELP YOUR CHILDREN TO ALLOW FEELINGS No parent wants their children to feel upset, down, frustrated, angry, anxious or depressed So we do whatever it takes to stop them from feeling it or to avoid it. We try to fix it. We need to allow them to feel these emotions so they can navigate them for themselves

24 GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR VALUES To create authentic connections we need to be in touch with our own values in the moment Your values are what really matters to you deep down. What kind of parent would you like to be? What kind of relationship do you want to have with your children? What kind of people do you want your children to become? The answers to these questions should drive you in your connections with people and the world around you.

25 S.T.O.P. S: SLOW DOWN T: TAKE NOTE O:OPEN UP P: PURSUE VALUES

26 MINDFULNESS EXERCISE

27 KEY MESSAGES: Mindfulness helps us to connect to the world around us. The more mindful we are the more we are able to connect deeply. Allow your children to feel all emotions and to explore what is important to them. Follow your values to create stronger connections and do what matters. Get out of your head and into your life.

28 MINDFULNESS RESOURCES:

29 QUESTIONS?

What is mindfulness?

What is mindfulness? A Recovery Lesson Introduction o Mindfulness begins with being calm and in the moment. o It can progress to a higher level of self-awareness. o Living mindfully can improve positive thinking and gratitude,