The Language of Feminine Confidence

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2 The Language of Feminine Confidence 10 Powerful Communication Tools to Light Up Your Energy, Banish Negative Self-Talk, and Quickly Super-Charge Your Attraction Powers By Caroline Muir & Amrita Grace Are you ready for a change? Tired of feeling old, stuck, and outdated? These 10 powerful communication tools will make it easy for you to transition from frumpy to fabulous! These are not the same old communication tools you may have learned before they are fresh, updated, and pro-aging savvy. This is ideal for you if you... are starting over after long-term relationships are dealing with a changing body as you age know you need to get out there and have a social life but have been feeling a lack of confidence or even fear about how to show up. #1 Carry Yourself Like a Queen Did your mama ever tell you to stand up straight? If so, she was onto something. An upright posture conveys confidence and power. Not only that, it s really good for your spine and internal organs, keeping your body flexible and healthy. We do so much chair-sitting these days, it takes a heavy toll on our bodies. Our heads come forward to see the screen better, our shoulders roll forward to support our heads, and the spine follows, throwing our spinal curvature out of alignment. Lead with your heart. Take a deep breath, naturally allow your upper chest to rise, and let it stay there as you exhale. It may feel like you are sticking your breasts out, and that s perfectly okay. Allow your shoulders to relax in this position, and tuck your chin back just a bit, restoring a natural curve to your spine. Practice walking around your house in this posture until it feels natural. Notice how it impacts how you feel and how others respond to you. 2. Embrace Your Curves Do you think your belly is too big? Your thighs are too fat? Women are supposed to be soft and curvy. Just because the mainstream image of beauty is stick-skinny and drum-taut doesn t make it true. When you look back at ancient images of women, they were shown as round and full, a reverse-hourglass if you will. These images were revered and even worshipped as beautiful, fertile, and rich with magic and mystery. What if that were true today? Would you see yourself differently?

3 Every woman is built differently, with different genes and physical traits. Instead of comparing yourself to others, why not try embracing the you that you naturally are, right now? Make an inventory of the aspects of your body you often judge. Then, one by one, practice loving and accepting them even admiring them. And the next time someone pays you a compliment, say Thank you! Take it in, believe it, and live it. 3. Inhale, Exhale, Repeat Breathing is probably not something you give much thought to. It happens naturally, right? And yet, paying attention to how you are breathing can impact how you feel as well as how you react and respond, especially in challenging situations. There s a tendency toward shallow breathing in situations that feel scary or difficult. As your breath gets shallow, you lose access to your power and life force energy. Though it may seem counterintuitive, try taking deep breaths when you feel sad, scared, or angry. Notice when your breath gets shallow and consciously deepen it. It will take some practice, but mostly it s about bringing your conscious awareness to it. Remind yourself each time you notice your breath getting shallow, and take a few deep breaths. Try it right now! 4. Speak Your Truth Have you ever said something you didn t mean in an effort to protect someone else s feelings? Or not spoken at all, for fear or being judged, ridiculed, or ostracized? Turns out that you re actually harming yourself more than you are helping others. When you cut off your own voice for any reason, you are closing down an important energy center in your body, creating a literal bottleneck of words and feelings. Start small, and play it safe at first. Begin to say what you really think and feel more often. Let other people manage their own responses and reactions to what you say how they respond to you is not your responsibility or problem, or even really your business! Expand your truthspeaking as you gain confidence. Make it a game that you play with yourself. Take bigger and bigger risks, and notice how it feels to speak your truth. 5. Replace have to with get to How many times a day to you say you have to do something? It s embedded in our language and culture. If you look at it more closely, there s an implication that someone else is forcing you to do something, that you have no choice in the matter. How would life feel different if you rephrased everything as a choice? Keep it lighthearted and easy. Start catching yourself when you say I have to and try replacing it with either I get to or I choose to or even I want to and see if it subtly changes your perspective on you life. Allow the fact that everything you do IS a choice seep

4 into your being over time as you rephrase your have to s. At some point, you ll probably find something that you don t feel you have a choice about, and that is something to explore further. 6. The Shy Woman s Cure-All If you prefer to stay home with your cats rather than risking a social scene because you re shy or introverted, there s a simple trick you can use to start a conversation with anyone, anywhere. It s a no-fail strategy that requires you to do very little but listen. First: think about how it feels when someone takes a genuine interest in you and asks you about yourself and truly listens. Kind of nice, isn t it? Well, this strategy is that easy! Ask others about their lives, their kids, their jobs, or their pets. Use whatever social situation you are in as a basis for common-ground questions that can serve as conversation starters. It can be as simple as Where are you from originally? taking people back to childhood memories and homes. Then, just listen. The conversation will give you a chance to be with someone and get more comfortable with him or her. They will likely feel flattered that you asked, creating instant warmth and rapport. 7. Lifelong Sexiness Just because you may be older does not mean you have lost your luscious, juicy sexiness. It may not look like it did when you were younger, and that s perfectly fine in fact, I wouldn t personally have it any other way. It s so much more about what s moving inside you than around you, which means that you, and only you, have the say-so over it. Sexiness is an inside game. It s not about being overtly sexual in your self-expression, although that might be how it naturally expresses for you. Take a moment each day to ask yourself what really turns you on and makes you feel sexy. It can be anything from dancing to dressing up and putting on perfume, or watching in inspiring movie. Go toward the things you identify and let them fill you up! 8. The Way to Your Yoni is through Your Heart If you re not familiar with the word yoni, it s a Sanskrit terms that means sacred space or the Goddess. Its literal translation is vagina. Can you think of a lovelier word to call your lady parts? Would you like to replace terms like pussy and vagina with yoni? Give yourself permission to do so it s coming into widespread use among women now. Here s a practice you can do to connect your heart and yoni. While sitting or lying down, clothed or not, place a hand over your heart center (between your breasts) and place the other gently over your yoni. Now, just breathe and feel. See if you can sense energy running between

5 these two powerful energy centers. The more you do this practice, the more you will wake up your heart-yoni connection. 9. Juice Up Your Pelvic Floor Your pelvic floor muscles, including the PC muscle, are a group of muscles that support your pelvic organs and span the bottom of your pelvis. Gentle toning of these muscles can have numerous beneficial effects on your whole pelvic region as well as juicing up your sexual energy awareness. Wherever you are right now, take a deep breath and hold it. As you hold your breath, give your pelvic floor muscles a gentle squeeze-and-release. Release your breath as you release the squeeze. As you finish your exhale, do 2 or 3 gentle, quick squeeze-and-releases. Take another deep breath and do the process again. Build up slowly from 2-3 repetitions to as many as you feel comfortable with. Don t overdo this one! 10. Dating Relating If you ve found the courage to enter the dating scene, you may find that some things never change! Men still tend to lead with sexual connection as their preferred form of intimacy, even as they get older. Women, on the other hand, need much more time to develop intimacy as they age. The more you can learn to actually talk about it, the easier those dates will be! If your date makes a move on you before you are ready take his hands in yours and look into his eyes and say something like, Thank you so much for wanting to touch me and get closer. I may want that also, and I will let you know when I am ready. Speak softly yet firmly. Or, you can say Thank you for the invitation for more intimacy. I am flattered that you find yourself attracted to me. However, I need to move more slowly and I promise you that I will let you know when I am ready to get closer to you. If he feels rejected after such clear communication, he s probably not the man for you. With these powerful tools in your hands, you are on your way to living your life with more vibrancy, positivity, energy, and yes, attraction power! Take these tools on one or two at a time, practicing and learning until you feel confident, then move on to the next one or two. Give yourself this gift and you ll find yourself waking up to a whole new you! Caroline Muir and Amrita Grace are the Co-Founders of The Sacred Feminine Mystery School. Caroline is the author of two books, Tantra Goddess-A Memoir of Sexual Awakening and Tantra-The Art of Conscious Loving. They co-facilitate a weeklong workshop for women each year in Costa Rica and train women to teach Sacred Sexual Awakening & Healing workshops in the CerFfied Spiritual Sexual Educator Teacher Training.

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