Child Self Esteem Bully Proof Program [CSEBP Program] Session 3 Guide
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1 Child Self Esteem Bully Proof Program [CSEBP Program] Session 3 Guide 1 of 8
2 Child Self-Esteem Bully Proof Telecourse [CSEBP] Session 3 Guide Session 3: Manifesting Your Child s Self-Esteem Goal: To achieve the manifestation of the self-esteem you wish to see in your child. Agenda Using visualization to create a vision of what you want for your child Writing a self-esteem goal Imagining your ideal scene and creating a vision board Seeding the vision with meditation Putting it all together 2 of 8
3 Overview of This Week s Session By this point in the course, you will have been able to bring to light any deep-seated negative beliefs about you or your child s self-esteem, along with any negative self-talk patterns that don t serve you. You now know how to become aware of the thoughts that hold you back, release them through your awareness, and replace them with positive, affirming thoughts. Now that you ve identified some things that may be holding you or your children back, it s time to zero in on and focus on truly what it is that you want to manifest in your lives and the lives of your children, particularly as it relates to their self-esteem. Now that you ve put the negatives in the past, you are ready to move forward and create your greatest desires for your children. Specifically, we ll look at: Creating a vision of what you want to create for your child, and introduce a process called Visualization Then we ll explore, piece by piece, how you can cultivate a vision of that which you wish to achieve. Next, we ll look at a tool, called a vision board, that can help you bring into your reality the vision you wish to create And finally we ll talk about a process that will help you to seed your vision and nurture it so that it can grow. Creating a Vision and the Process of Visualization A vision is a mental picture of some point in the future. When it comes to achieving our goals and desires, it is creating a vision, or mental picture of our situation once the goal or desire has been achieved, that helps us achieve it. This is where a technique called visualization can help. I take much of this technique from a book by Shakti Gawain, called Creative Visualization, which is a wonderful book on making visualization a part of your life in a very conscious way. Visualization is a technique where you use your imagination to create what you want in your life. It allows you to create a clear blue print of what you want so the universe can get to work helping you to create it. Using our imagination is something that we all do all of the time, whether we realize it or not. Many of us use our imaginations unconsciously, often creating situations we aren t happy with. When you have negative beliefs, you unconsciously use your imagination to create the negative situation that makes up your thoughts. 3 of 8
4 Rather than continuing to unconsciously create our lives, we can use our imagination in a conscious way to facilitate an improvement in the self-esteem of our children. This is why we ve worked through any core negative beliefs and negative self-talk issues regarding our child s self-esteem -- so we can release them and begin to consciously create a better situation in that regard. It is through our imagination that we have the ability to create a mental picture or idea in our mind. With visualization, we use our imagination to create a mental picture of what it is that we desire, and then we continue to focus on that picture, feeding it with the energy of emotion, until we see manifestation. Creating a Goal for Your Child s Self-Esteem Once you ve determined what it is that you really want for your child with regard to their self-esteem, you ll want to create a goal. A goal simply provides you a point of focus upon which to place your energy. When creating goals, you ll want to keep in mind the following tips. These tips come from the book, Creative Visualization, by Shakti Gawain: Be realistic with short-range goals. Aiming for short, achievable steps first will build up your confidence as you reach for longer-range goals. For instance, expecting your child to establish 10 strong friendships in the next 30 days, while not impossible, may create resistance within in you, which constricts the manifestation process and can bring about discouragement. Make sure your shortrange goal is something you feel is reachable. Be expansive and idealistic with long-range goals. You ll gain inspiration by reaching for the highest goal you can imagine. Shoot for the stars here. Have fun with this. And remember, whatever you can imagine, you can create! Keep your focus and attention on the essence of the goal, rather than the details or the how-to s. The universe, or God is always working to bring the highest form of your desire into manifestation. Sometimes, we get more good than we bargained for! For example, rather than a goal being to create a friendship with a certain person, your goal might be to create a friendship that provides a sense of mutual respect and support. By focusing on the essence, and leaving the details to the divine, you keep yourself open to manifest something even better than you imagined. Once you ve identified your goal, let it go and leave it in God s hands. You ve probably heard the phrase, let go and let God, and that is what we re talking about here. Be relaxed about your goal and don t try to make it happen. Don t force it or cultivate a feeling of desperation or need about it. Focus on it 4 of 8
5 continuously, but in a light, relaxed manner. A goal is not something that you have to struggle to achieve. And finally, stay flexible and know that goals can change, and very often do. If you stay with the essence of the goal, rather than holding on to a very specific result, you leave the door open to achieving your highest desire. One note: If you find yourself struggling as you work to identify your goals, it may be indicative of how you may have avoided getting what you want in life! Now that we ve talked about goals and some tips to keep in mind as you create them, let s talk about the way you should phrase your goals. First, you ll want to write your goals in the same way that you wrote your affirmations. You ll write them by framing them in the present tense, as if they have already been achieved. Next, you ll also want to consider writing goals to cover several different time periods. Here are some examples you could use to write your self-esteem goals: - Your goal for the next 30 days - Your goal for the next 6 months - Your goal for the next year - Your goal for the next 5 years - Your life goal Some people ask what the difference is between a goal and an affirmation. The way I like to think of it is that the goal is the end result we want to achieve, and the affirmation is the way that you nurture and tend to the goal. If you wanted to grow a flower in your garden, the flower in full bloom would be your goal, and the watering and tending to the soil would be the affirmation process. Imagining Your Ideal Scene and Creating a Vision Board Once you are clear on your goal, you ll want to take the time to envision the ideal scene as it would appear once your goal has been realized. Once you have your ideal scene clear in your mind, you can create a vision board. A vision board is an actual physical picture of your ideal scene, your goal achieved, your desired reality. It involves drawing or clipping pictures or words from magazines that represent that which you want to create in your life. Creating a vision board is an extremely powerful technique because it crystallizes the image of what you want and helps increase focus and energy toward your goal. It is also fun, and a great activity you can do with your children. 5 of 8
6 Here are some guidelines to keep in mind as you create your vision board: Make sure you are making a vision board for a single goal the healthy selfesteem of your child, in whatever form that looks like for you. This will allow you to include all of the elements that represent your goal without your vision board getting too complicated. You can make your vision board any size you want to. I have created mine on large poster board, because it is nice and sturdy, but you can use notebook paper or whatever feels right for you. Use pictures of yourself and your child on your vision board. You want to be able to see yourselves in the scene. Show the scene as it will look once it has fully manifested, and not how it looks in the process of unfolding. Color can increase the power and impact on your consciousness, so use lots of it. Make sure that the situation you create on your vision board is believable. Place a symbol of the infinite, or god, or the universe somewhere on your board. Whatever reminds you that everything comes from the divine source. This could be a cross, the sun, a Buddha, Christ, etc. Use whatever has meaning for you. Write an affirmation on your vision board. It could be something like Here is my son as he is confidently interacting with his peers. His sense of self-worth and confidence is so obvious for all to see. You ll want to make sure you take some time this week to create a vision board with your children. Relaxing into the Vision A Seeding Meditation The final piece we need to cover before we put it all together is to add a seeding meditation. This is a meditation that guides you to visualize yourself and your child planting the seeds of your desire. You will want to return to this idea each day and imagine yourself tending to the soil that is nurturing your seeds of desire. 6 of 8
7 Seeding Meditation Close your eyes, and take a deep breath. Listen to your breath as it flows in and out through your nose. Continue breathing, and as you do, begin to count your breaths, starting from 10, and counting down to 1. Each time you exhale, feel yourself getting a little more relaxed. Inhale at 10, and exhale. Inhale at 9, and exhale. Continue until you get down to 1. Now, imagine that you are walking up a narrow, winding road. It is a sunny day, with light fluffy clouds and a comfortable temperature. As you walk along the winding road, you come to a little farmhouse. You open the gate, and walk toward the farmhouse. You notice a beautiful garden to the side of the house. The soil in the garden is rich and fertile, and there is a nice open space in the garden. You get down on your knees and begin to dig a little hole in the soil. You make it just big enough to hold the seeds of your desire. When the hole is ready, you reach into your pocket and take out your seeds. You pause to feel the potential contained within your seeds. You place your seeds gently into the hole. As you release the seeds, you feel confidence and joy, because you know that your seeds will soon be taking root and blossoming into that which you desire. You begin covering the hole with the soil and gently pat the soil over the seeds. You then go to the house and pick up a watering can. You begin to fill the watering can with water from the hose. When the can is full of water, you walk over to your seeds, now buried in the soil, and moisten the soil with fresh, life-giving water. When you are finished, you place the watering can down, and with faith and confidence in the inevitable blossoming of your seed, you fill your heart up with the gratitude you ll feel once your seed has blossomed into your desire. You stay here in this grateful feeling state for a while. When you are ready, you walk back out of the gate and down the winding road. Everyday, you come back to the little garden and water your seed, nurturing it into the blossoming desire of your dreams. Putting it all Together Home Practice Once you ve gotten through all 4 steps and have your vision board created, this is what you re going to want to do every day: First, spend a few minutes focusing on your breath to relax your body 7 of 8
8 and your mind. In your relaxed state, envision yourself going back to the little garden by the farmhouse and nurturing the seeds of your desire, feeling gratitude that your desire has already manifested. Next, begin focusing on your desire by looking at your vision board and reading the affirmation on it several times, conjuring the feelings you will have once your goal has been achieved Finally, when you have finished focusing on your vision board, end your session with the following affirmation: This or something better now manifests for me in totally satisfying and harmonious ways, for the highest good of all. Practice these steps for 1-2 minutes per day, every day. Note: Again, feel free to me your findings, or share them with the class next week. If you send me an and don t mind me sharing your information anonymously, please let me know that. Remember, thoughts grow when they are shared! 8 of 8
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