Inside Writing Communities, Grades 3-5

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1 6/10/2014 Page 1 Inside Writing Communities, Grades 3-5 Workshop 10 Teacher Conferences Narration written by Mary Duncan, Ph.D. FINAL DRAFT

2 6/10/2014 Page 2 RUNDOWN SHEET Program Duration: 28:25 MASTER IN DURATION ANNENBERG MEDIA LOGO 01:00:00 00:15 KET LOGO 01:00:15 00:08 SERIES OPEN/TITLE #10 01:00:23 00:25 Jack Wilde 01:00:48 00:37 Silvia Edgerton 01:01:25 00:34 CLASSROOM FOOTAGE Silvia Edgerton 01:01:59 1:08 Silvia Edgerton 01:03:07 00:22 CLASSROOM FOOTAGE Silvia Edgerton 01:03:29 6:00 Silvia Edgerton 01:09:29 00:40 CLASSROOM FOOTAGE Silvia Edgerton 01:10:09 2:51 Silvia Edgerton 01:13:00 00:29 CLASSROOM FOOTAGE Christine Sanchez 01:13:29 00:04 Katie Ray 01:13:34 00:31 Mark Hansen 01:14:05 00:22 CLASSROOM FOOTAGE Mark Hansen 01:14:27 1:44 Mark Hansen 01:16:11 00:23 Cristina Tijerina 01:16:34 00:51 Katie Ray 01:17:26 00:26 CLASSROOM FOOTAGE Latosha Rowley 01:17:52 00:04 Latosha Rowley 01:17:56 00:24 CLASSROOM FOOTAGE Latosha Rowley 01:18:20 6:59

3 6/10/2014 Page 3 Latosha Rowley 01:25:19 00:45 Jack Wilde 01:26:04 00:36 CREDITS 01:26:40 ANNENBERG MEDIA FUNDING LOGO LEARNER TAG MASTER OUT 01:28:25:00

4 6/10/2014 Page 4 VIDEO AUDIO LGTH TRT Annenberg Annenberg Media Logo Music Media Logo 00:15 00:15 KET Logo 00:18 00:23 Series Open/ Title 10 Inside Writing Communities, Grades 3-5 Theme 00:25 00:48 Jack Wilde JACK: I think the role of a teacher in an effective teacher-student conference changes, depending upon where the piece is. But regardless, the first thing the teacher has to do, wherever they are, is to listen and try to understand what is the child s next step. You can you re looking at their paper, you re realizing that there are several things that aren t working; but what s the teachable point? What s the point at which you think, That child is almost there. If I raise it now, if I bring it up now, I can help him or her take that next step. 00:37 01:25 Silvia Edgerton, Herrera Magnet School of Fine Arts, Phoenix, Arizona SILVIA: The most important questions are about why do you make why did you make that choice? Why did you make that decision? You know, and that s for any of the revision strategies whether it s Spanglish, whether it s pop-out words. You know, why why what made you, you know, do that? And I think that, sometimes, we miss those moments. We miss the question. That question is going to get us to understand them, to understand their writing, and to understand why they ve made the choices that they ve made. 00:34 01:59 Silvia Edgerton, Herrera Magnet School of Fine Arts, Phoenix, Arizona SILVIA: Tell me why you wanted to meet with me today. MICHELLE: I wanted to see if I could keep it like I need to be in a team (inaudible). I wanted to see if I can keep it the draft way I have it right now because for some reason it is hard for me to like describe and stuff like that. SILVIA: So what you want is that you want to

5 6/10/2014 Page 5 get a lead that describes MICHELLE: That describes and like that SILVIA: So go ahead and read the piece to me. I want you to read. Oh OK you are showing me both drafts. MICHELLE: Uh huh SILVIA: One for me one for you MICHELLE: I forgot SILVIA: Just read the whole thing to me and let me listen to it Silvia Edgerton, Herrera Magnet School of Fine Arts, Phoenix, Arizona Silvia Edgerton, Herrera Magnet School of Fine Arts, Phoenix, Arizona MICHELLE: I used to be on a team called the Devil Rays in summer of I was the only girl on the team. The coach would call me Miquel because I was the only girl he had in the whole entire time he was working with 1:08 03:07 SILVIA: I like to have them read it because it gives me a few seconds to think about what I am going to do or how I m going to write, thinking about books that I ve seen about descriptive leads and so as she is reading it, I m kind of listening to the story but also thinking what s my resource? Where do I want to send her? What do I want to do? 00:22 03:29 MICHELLE: With that mask, one of the boys said, Michelle It looked like you were kissing the bat catcher but I said I won. I won. I said. SILVIA: So your dilemma is that you want to start with a description. Tell me where in this writing piece did you do a really good job of describing something. MICHELLE: How my Mom SILVIA: Read it to me. That particular part MICHELLE: Michelle it looked like you were

6 6/10/2014 Page 6 kissing the bat catcher. SILVIA: OK I want you to imagine just close your eyes and imagine, taking that sentence and putting it right at the beginning. What would the story sound like from there on? MICHELLE: It would sound like I was telling it from the back end to the front. SILVIA: OK. And but would you still have description there? Would that be a description? Starting a lead with a description? You thought that this was a really good description. Right? I mean the only thing is that it also starts with dialogue. Now where is another place you have a really good description? MICHELLE: When SILVIA: Read me the part where you feel that you have MICHELLE: It was my turn to bat. Ah. It hit me on my shoulder. I walked to first. Stole second, third and home, but I ran my fastest touched base then the bat catcher pulled me in the wind. SILVIA: OK. Can you imagine starting with that line? Do you want to try that? MICHELLE: Uh huh. SILVIA: You can either try this one or your Mom saying you looked like you were kissing the what? MICHELLE: The bat catcher. SILVIA: The bat catcher. Or you might find another part that you might want to try in the front. OK? MICHELLE: Like a dialogue? Talking to my

7 6/10/2014 Page 7 brother or Hosea, or Javiar or Eduardo? SILVIA: OK. Tell me what that would say though as a lead. MICHELLE: I could say to my Mom. Mom, Remember the day that we won the game because of me? SILVIA: OK MICHELLE: And then I could start that I used to be on a team called the Devil Rays. SILVIA: OK and then you could go from there. Tell me about the Devil Rays. Did you guys have a uniform? MICHELLE: Yea. SILVIA: Tell me about the uniform MICHELLE: I can t remember. SILVIA: OK. MICHELLE: I think José was wearing it one day. SILVIA: OK José Pareda MICHELLE: José Mora SILVIA: Oh OK. Well if you don t remember its OK. I was just wondering what your whole team looked like as you were lined up, you know ready to play. What you looked like in the dug out. MICHELLE: I ve got a picture. SILVIA: Oh really. MICHELLE: It s in my backpack. SILVIA: Oh really. You want to get it? Tell

8 6/10/2014 Page 8 me about something that happened when you were getting ready to take this picture. MICHELLE: Well we were the winners. We had to like. They told us to all come out like after the game. They told us to have our gloves with us. Our hats like everything on like our uniforms. But we didn t bring the bats and bags. We left them back in the dugout. When they told us to bring everything out like a team. Our coach told us where to go and they put all the short ones on the bottom. SILVIA: OK so think about what you just talked about, how you your helmet, your gloves MICHELLE: Not the helmet SILVIA: Not the helmet oh that is right. That is only for batting. The gloves, the bats. I want you to think about what you just told me. Would you say that is a description? When you are saying you got the gloves, you got the bats. We got our uniforms. Is that a description? Is that telling me what everything looks like. MICHELLE: Uh huh SILVIA: So. But not necessarily saying then we took the picture, but you could say then you could go right into what happened. Where is your story? Where is your actual story in this? MICHELLE: How it was my turn to bat and how I won the game for us because we were tied at 10 to 10 in the last inning and that was the end of the game and we had to make one more run in. It was my turn to bat and I was afraid that we were going to lose. And everybody was cheering me on and then I told them to be quiet because if they don t I won t be able to hit or run to first base. 6:00 9:29

9 6/10/2014 Page 9 Silvia Edgerton, Herrera Magnet School of Fine Arts, Phoenix, Arizona SILVIA: I think that is a place where I felt like I did my job right there. Where I stopped talking and it was all about her. You know what she had to say. How she felt about it. You could tell it in her face. You could tell it in her mannerisms, you know, she was just so excited about it and how could I not be excited for her. And the more she talked, the more I wanted to listen and I was thinking we needed to finish, but I couldn t stop her because it is there. You buy into it literally I felt she drew me in, you know, she had me captured with her story. 00:40 10:09 Silvia Edgerton, Herrera Magnet School of Fine Arts, Phoenix, Arizona MICHELLE: And then when they were crowding SILVIA: I was looking to see where you said you were leading off MICHELLE: I didn t put it in SILVIA: Ohh MICHELLE: I tripped over his knee and I went that way to the bat catcher and it hit me in the back of the head and the ball went flying to the outfielders. SILVIA: And where was that? MICHELLE: Like somewhere to the outfielders. They found it this much behind the second base and I ran to third. And then the pitcher got the ball and started pitching it and the bat catcher missed it and it went back and I ran as fast as I could and touched base. The bat catcher was like this much closer to the base than the bat catcher was. I fell, I tripped over his knee and he was like this holding my head so we couldn t get that close to each other and SILVIA: And so Michelle when you go back to work on this, what are you going to do?

10 6/10/2014 Page 10 MICHELLE: I am going to put like more details in it SILVIA: I don t understand that details. What do you mean? MICHELLE: Putting like what I did and how the bat catcher SILVIA: Now I understand. What do you think you lead might look like? Where do you think your lead might be? Because do you have to start at the beginning of what was happening? Do you have to start there? MICHELLE: shakes her head. SILVIA: No. Where could you start? Like you said over here MICHELLE: Like I don t think it is in my story now, but I have in my head that how me and the bat catcher were staying still. Then before I tell you that great moment, I want to tell you who we had on the team and that I was the only girl SILVIA: But remember you wanted to work on a description though, so where was would, where could you get your description from? So do you always have to start at the beginning, what happened at the beginning of your event or could you start at the end and work from the end forward? MICHELLE: I could work from the end forward. SILVIA: Uh huh. Or backwards or I m not sure what that is. MICHELLE: In the middle SILVIA: In the middle or whatever. Ok so what do you think? Are you ready?

11 6/10/2014 Page 11 MICHELLE: Uh hum SILVIA: OK. I am really anxious to see what it is going to look like. 2:51 13:00 Silvia Edgerton, Herrera Magnet School of Fine Arts, Phoenix, Arizona SILVIA: One of the things you may have noticed is that you hardly ever have other students waiting in line to see me when it s that person s turn, it s that person s turn to have my full and undivided attention. And it does take a little bit of work but I m very serious about you, you know, if it s about you, it s about you today. Let the world come to an end it s about you. 00:29 13:29 Christine Sanchez, Tohaali Community School, Newcomb, New Mexico CHRISTINE: Did you enjoy your time with your family? STUDENT: Uh hum CHRISTINE: OK I would add that as 00:04 13:34 Katie Ray Mark Hansen, Clarendon Elementary, Portland, Oregon Mark Hansen, Clarendon KATIE: When a conference really does go well is when you sit down next to a writer and you sort of bring what you know about that writer to the table. That writer can articulate for you where they are in the process. And, see, that s a learned thing; children just don t do that right way. They learn they have to learn to articulate where they are in the process. And I think the main way they learn it is by being asked over and over and over again, Tell me what you re working on right now, and how did you get here. Where are you? 00:31 14:05 MARK: Training the kids to know when they need help sounds simple, but it takes time. And I think, you know, making it clear, like, if you re stuck, if you re not doing anything, and you have been not doing something for a long time, the it, you know, it s time to look for help. 00:22 14:27 MANDY: It s like when we were giving them reasons to build swings

12 6/10/2014 Page 12 Elementary, Portland, Oregon MARK: Uh huh MANDY: And slides MARK: Uh huh MANDY: And a playhouse for little kids. And when they are done doing that do we pay back do we pay money back? MARK: Well the city pays for those things, but they get their money from the taxes that people pay. MANDY: Oh MARK: So when your parents work part of the money that they get goes to taxes for the city and that is how the city pays for things. So it is a good question though because the city needs to decide, I mean the people who work for the city need to decide it that is a place they want to spend money. And so this is good. You are saying Hey this is what I want you to do. This is how I want you to spend your money. This is important to me. MANDY: I put a playhouse for the little kids because when they come like after school, every time they go to the big park, some of the kids gets hurt by sliding down that big slide. So they get hurt. MARK: Yeah that s kind of rough. That tire swing is a nightmare MANDY: Uh huh MARK: Did you see Carlos ear? MANDY: Uh huh MARK: I mean sometimes it is good, I mean don t use Carlos name, but you know a student just got hurt. Did you use that as a

13 6/10/2014 Page 13 reason? MANDY: No MARK: Was one of the reasons that you put it is not safe what we have right now? MANDY: I don t know. I m going to write on my letter it is not kind of safe with the slide. MARK: And it s really persuasive it is a really good reason when you say someone just got hurt, we have proof. You know. OK Thanks 1:44 16:11 Mark Hansen, Clarendon Elementary, Portland, Oregon Cristina Tijerina, Sharp Elementary, Brownsville, Texas MARK: I put a lot of value on conversations. This is a, you know, fundamental component, I think, of a really good writing classroom; that you talk with kids, you talk with groups of kids and kids talk to each other and give each other feedback. And, you know, it just generates so much energy. 00:23 16:34 CRISTINA: When I conference with kids, I m looking at different things. I m trying to get them to elaborate more. I m trying to have them develop their stories and and not only that, but I want to hear their voice. A lot of times, I ll have them stop and sometimes act it out; you know, walk or lift, or, you know, pick up you know, whatever action they re doing so that they can understand that you just don t wake up and go eat breakfast; you know, several things happen in between. This is where brainstorming is important. You know, this is where you have to sit, and you have to allow for ideas to flow. And, you know, you can teach children to think, you know. All children are can be creative; you just have to teach them how to brainstorm. 00:51 17:26 Katie Ray KATIE: Good teachers can speak to children writer to writer. You just confer so differently if you ve tried to do this before yourself; cause it s not easy and, I like teachers who carry their writers notebooks with them when they re conferring and they re talk out of

14 6/10/2014 Page 14 them. And that s really how children get to know you a lot as a writer is because of that writer-to-writer talk you have in conferences. 00:26 17:52 Latosha Rowley, Cold Spring Elementary, Indianapolis, Indiana LATOSHA: Something that paints a picture in your mind. 00:04 17:56 Latosha Rowley, Cold Spring Elementary, Indianapolis, Indiana Latosha Rowley, Cold Spring Elementary, Indianapolis, Indiana LATOSHA: I think it s real meaningful for the students when I can share my own writing with them. And, in a one-to-one conference time, if I can bring my actual piece to the conference and walk through what I did and what I was thinking when I did it, I think the students are more likely to try it because they say, Well, my teacher did it; I think I can do it, too. 00:24 18:20 LATOSHA: OK Donna. Yesterday, was it yesterday or the day before, lets see we talked about a story you were writing is this the story and you said that you might try to make it into a poem later. Isn t that what you said? DONNA: Shakes head yes LATOSHA: OK and I want to show you I started with a story remember and I started picking out some words that I thought might be able to be words in a poem. So if we were to look at your story, what do you think? Are there any words that you would definitely have to have in your poem? DONNA: Um LATOSHA: Well let s think. Who is your story about? DONNA: Laris and Maria LATOSHA: So these are the two people in the story right? So we know that they might

15 6/10/2014 Page 15 be some people in the poem, right? So we might want to circle that and lets just circle that for later on because that is going to probably be someone you want in your poem. Right? You can just circle it once when you find their name. Very good. Now what is it about them? What did they do? DONNA: She LATOSHA: Is it a she and a he? This is she and that is he. Are they people? OK. Cousins? DONNA: Friends LATOSHA: Friends. Ok. What did they do? DONNA: Maria played lots of games and she couldn t play kick ball and she got help from Laris. LATOSHA: OK So games was an important thing. Don t you think that might be something you might want so put a circle around that. Something about games. Right? Ok. I think that might be a key word in your poem. What else? What feeling is happening? It seems like there might be a feeling in here. Isn t there what feeling? DONNA: That she s sad she can t play kick ball. LATOSHA: So that looks like another key word doesn t it? So do you want to circle that word because I think there is some sadness in there isn t there? And what game was it? You said it was DONNA: Kick ball LATOSHA: So you might want to circle that one too. So these two people were in this game and the game was kick ball and she was sad. What made her sad?

16 6/10/2014 Page 16 DONNA: Because she couldn t play kick ball LATOSHA: Ohh. So look at this whole phrase here. That might be something that might be important. What do you think? Do you think you want to add that to the poem. I can t play so maybe we might want to put a circle around that. That might be something we might want to look at later. It may not be that it might be something else. What else do you see? DONNA: She said she was little. LATOSHA: Ah that s important too. You might want to put a circle around that too. OK What else? DONNA: I don t know LATOSHA: You don t know what else? Lets see. Does this continue on to this page? Where did the yes s come from? I like that. That almost seems like a poem. What s going on with that? DONNA: He taught her how to play in the back yard. He said just kick it and it will go and he says see and she says yes, yes, yes. LATOSHA: Oh. I think that would be real good in the poem don t you? So maybe we have to have something about her being able to kick the ball and then you can go into the yes, yes, yes. I think that would be perfect in a poem and you can probably write it in some kind of fancy way but I think that would be real good. Now lets see what else we ve got. DONNA: She could play everyday and Laris said she could play in the Halloween game. LATOSHA: So now Mary is that it DONNA: Maria

17 6/10/2014 Page 17 LATOSHA: Maria is good in games. Now she can play new games and she can play in the Halloween game. Very good. So you might want to say something about that. Is that all the words we think we need to pull out or do we need some more? DONNA: We need some more LATOSHA: You want some more? OK. Well you have got to say something here to get to the yes, yes. So we are going to pick out here. What do we want to pick out? Something you said here DONNA: Lets kick the ball and see if it goes LATOSHA: OK. There you go. I think that might be good. You know we can always add and Here are those yes s. I know you want those. You are excited about those yes s. You know how I can tell? How can I tell? DONNA: Because they have exclam. I forgot the name of it LATOSHA: Yea you got it. Exclamation marks. So I knew you were excited about that. I knew you wanted those in your poem. Because those are something that really stand out. Now lets see what we can do? Is there anything down here that you think you need in your poem? DONNA: No LATOSHA: So its just more stuff in your story that you might not need in the poem. Well what we can do is write all these words so you can see them all together. You might want to write them here so you can see them. I see you wrote this word here cause you were getting ready to think about it. Yea I can see. You had your page all ready to start trying to put it in a poem. So what I want you to do is these words you kind of circled that

18 6/10/2014 Page 18 you might want to look at for the poem, put them all right here. Then start putting it together to make a poem. Can you do that? DONNA: Uh Huh. LATOSHA: Sounds like a good. Try it you ll like it. And I will check back with you to see how it s coming. 6:59 25:19 Latosha Rowley, Cold Spring Elementary, Indianapolis, Indiana LATOSHA: Well, a lot of time, students are a little cold at the initial part of the conference at the beginning. First of all, they re not feeling comfortable. Why is the teacher sitting next to me, and what is she going to talk about? And sometimes a student thinks I might judge what they have, so they re getting nervous, thinking I m getting a grade, or something of that nature. But then, once I start asking questions about the real work that s in front of us, then they buy into it; Oh, she s just here to talk about what I have, and I can talk about this because it s my stuff. And I think she got comfortable: Oh, it s just my thinking. She s just helping me think through it. And so she got comfortable in sharing and talking cause I m just thinking out loud. 00:45 26:04 Jack Wilde Credits Annenberg Media JACK: One of my one of the favorite comments I got from a former student was we were now well into the school year, and the child I asked them to sort of look at their own writing. And this one girl said, Oh, I get it I m supposed to look at this and hear, in my head, your voice the questions that you would ask. And that s right, because ultimately we re trying to get them to be more independent, and that independence is fostered by our conferring with them, our letting them hear the kinds of questions that a reader has in encountering a piece. 00:36 26:40 Inside Writing Communities, Grade 3-5 Close

19 6/10/2014 Page 19 Funding Logo Tag 28:25

Inside Writing Communities, Grades 3-5

6/10/2014 Page 1 Inside Writing Communities, Grades 3-5 Workshop 7 Teaching the Writing Craft Narration written by Mary Duncan, Ph.D. FINAL DRAFT 6/10/2014 Page 2 RUNDOWN SHEET Program Duration: 28:25