My name is Jayson Gaddis, formerly emotionally unavailable man. But you will need to talk to him in the way I suggest.

Transcription

1 With Jayson Gaddis

2 Contents Introduction How To Get Your Man To Open Up And Talk With You About His Feelings Using The Personal Operating System (POS)... 5 Why Should I Care?... 5 Who Was That?... 6 How So?... 7 Relational Hardware All of us have relational hardware Relational Software The POS is Everything You Can Relate Yes? Your Goal The Win-Win Approach Training Your Partner Step 1: Get to know your own POS (Personal Operating System) Step 1 Exercise Step 2: Sort the answers into your personal hierarchy Step 3: Write Down What You Want Your Preferences To Be Step 4: Learn Your Man s Preferences And How He Orients In Life Step 5: Who Are You Two Together? The Couple Operating System Remember the goal of this POS stuff? Getting the point?

3 Introduction. Hi, My name is Jayson Gaddis, formerly emotionally unavailable man. Please watch the video class as I share my personal story--how I went from a super shut down guy to an emotionally available boyfriend, then husband, then father. You re about to discover how to talk to your man about your feelings and your need for a deeper emotional connection (without coming across as too demanding or too much). But you will need to talk to him in the way I suggest. Can we both just agree that your way got you the results you got? And, perhaps by now you ve made a little traction by backing off for a day or two? Okay then, we are going to take a note from successful people. And, if you do this right, he ll get it. Now, learning exactly how to communicate with him, is critical piece of the puzzle. 3

4 I m about to teach you a skill that will help him be less guarded, open up to you emotionally, and a skill that will help you share your feelings without upsetting him or coming across as whiney or too needy. I ve taught this for years with my female clients and the women who actually choose to implement this get results nearly every time. And, the ones who don t? They get stronger in themselves, enough to move on from a guy who prefers to stay on lock down, than understand your heart and soul. In the next chapter, you re going to learn the power tool that will leave you both feeling more connected. Okay, so are you ready to learn the most powerful tool of communication in long term partnerships? Here we go! 4

5 How To Get Your Man To Open Up And Talk With You About His Feelings Using The Personal Operating System (POS) Why Should I Care? Because how you ve been communicating with him isn t working. It s getting you the results you re getting. Because knowing what you most care about in life will help you get more of what you want in life. Knowing what your man most cares about will help you communicate to him in a way that has him feeling supported, like you have his back on the stuff that matters most to him. This leads to bridge building and fluency in your communication with him. Not getting this, leads to you to try and get your man to live by what you care about, which turns into fights, convincing, blaming, hurt feelings, and minor to major misunderstandings. Then you tip-toe because you don t want another day of distance, right? There s a lot of books and programs out there on how to communicate effectively with people. Most are okay and can help move the needle a tiny bit. But it wasn t until I found this tool, and began to use it, that I began to see dramatic results in my own relationship as well as with my clients. In fact, it even helped in my business. And, it s kind of funny. Before I learned this tool from a number of teachers in slightly different ways, another more important person indirectly taught it to me, month after month and year after year, who helped me refine it even more. 5

6 Who Was That? My wife. She was very persistent in teach me how to listen to her and be present with her. And while I was pretty defensive sometimes, I persevered and learned what she was asking me to do. After so many years, we both compiled this into a simple, easy to understand approach. Your marriage is asking you to learn, get more mature, more adult-like, and more empowered. Marriage or relationship challenges have a funny way of doing that. So, if you want to change this one for good, you must learn to communicate like a new person, using a type of communication that breaks the old habits and inspires new ones. Communication is really about understanding: Communicating in such a way that has your man feeling understood. This means you need to understand the map he came into the world with, how he does relationship, what his story is, how and why he does what he does, etc. You must be willing to understand everything about him, even if he won t open up and talk to you about it. But what I m about to teach you works, even if there s loads of resentment and distance built up over time. Learning all of this stuff on top of a pile of baggage is completely doable. 6

7 How So? If you have tons of relationship baggage that you and your partner never really got over or effectively dealt with, I d recommend using the information I m about to share with the intention and aspiration to clear the decks and get your relationship back to a healthy foundation. Remember, if you practice what I m about to share, you WILL change your relationship for the better, guaranteed. If we keep it simple, you will want to embrace and understand three things: 1] The hardware they came with (nature) 2] the software they came with (nurture) and 3] their personal operating system (POS) which is how they navigate life using 1 & 2. Let s unpack these one by one. 7

8 Relational Hardware. All of us have relational hardware. This is the relationship template we came into the world with. It s the default setting of our parent s development at the time of our conception. And, the hardware includes all that we ve been through relationally. Your hardware is like a fingerprint, coded with all positive and negative relational experiences you ve ever been through. So, the hardware has already been laid down in the past and appears to be hard-wired. Our hardware continues to stay hard-wired in us, unless we enact new behaviors that reshape our ever evolving, and plastic, brain. 8

9 The good news from neuroscientists in recent decades is that our brain is plastic and can change! In other words, our hardware can soften and thaw out over time, if we apply the right software. Relational Software. The relational software includes all the things we learned, and were taught, about relationships by other people and by watching other people. Of course, most people have relational software that is way out of date. It s doesn t work very well to get you the love and relationships you want. But, most of you can t break free from their patterns because, in a way, the relational software and relational hardware are working in tandem to keep you stuck. Moreover, most of you have been running outdated software on a very old and inefficient system. In other words, you have an old computer with old programs. That gets you the kind of relationship results you currently have. Having the right software is key to running the hardware. You are likely running old and outdated software on the hard drives of who you are. 9

10 When you add your relational software to your relational hardware, a predictable way of doing life and relationships emerges. I call this our personal operating system or POS. The Personal Operating System is how you operate in your dictated by your daily actions. You operate according to what s most important and you avoid or procrastinate with what s least important to you. It s like a relational cocktail that both hurts, and helps. However, you might be like most people where you only get the hurt part because you are too stuck using your old software and don t know how to proceed. Imagine trying to surf the internet or run your business on a computer made in Or imagine trying to run windows 4.2 on a dell computer from Yikes! Or running mac s El Cap (the newest version) software on a macbook from That personal operating system (POS) would be a nightmare. The POS is Everything You (the P or personal part) operate according to a system of preferences values, and priorities. The POS is essentially your hardware combined with your software. The POS is your internal map and compass that is comprised of a hierarchy of personal preferences about how you navigate your life. The direction you choose to travel (your north star) is comprised of your highest priorities. These dictate where you choose to put your attention and what inspires you. Imagine a simple pyramid shown in the following pages: The point of the pyramid, like an arrow, is the most important thing we do, it s where we are most focussed. And the bottom, wider part of the pyramid is the least important thing we do. 10

11 However, your POS is not necessarily aligned according to your deepest wants. Instead you may find that it s aligned according to whatever old software and hardware you have. This is your lower self, or the smaller version of you that prefers to be safe and comfortable in your old habits. The lower self is another term for the most inefficient, wounded, hurt part of you that is largely unconscious to you. Your higher self is who you are at your best. It s the authentic self (or who you were) before you traded that authentic self for the strategic self that your parents wanted so you could get, and not lose, love. For example, if you had a challenging childhood full of hurt, your POS will be designed to avoid more hurt. The software you use will be the same software you used as a child to avoid pain, and get love. When you find yourself in an adult relationship, you keep employing your pain-avoidant strategies instead of growing up through the power (and pain) of the relationship. And wherever you are hurting in your relationship is a place where you have an opportunity to grow. In fact, the way to get over it, is through it. But instead of growing, you or your man might get scared to grow, so you calcify around the old way. There s a certain comfort in the old software because on some level, it works. That s the tricky thing about us human beings. Even though we are wired to grow, inertia eventually takes over for most people and they become stuck due to fear-driven patterns. The longer you go resisting your inevitable growth, the more internal calcification occurs. It s the combination of your relational hardware and software that keep you looping in patterns relationally. If you never get new software, your improvements won t stick very long. Okay, let s come back to your situation with your man and what this all means in terms of him opening up or not You both came with different personal operating systems (POS). And it s your lack of understanding, and accepting, his POS that got you here. If you don t get this, you both loop in circles and one or both of you feel judged, criticized, and unloved. When the inevitable challenges come up in your relationship, you, like the rest of us, take the path of least resistance and do what you ve always done. 11

12 This is normal human behavior. When under stress, the brain directs us to our habitual responses that keep us safe. Often, our response isn t that good for the relationship. For example, when you get upset with your man and you feel angry or hurt or even sad, you typically go tofacebook, shop, eat sugar, drink, smoke, exercise, or distract. You try to move away from the pain you are experiencing because it s uncomfortable and no one ever taught you how to be with it. (check out my future classes for that one). This is why you struggle in long-term relationships, especially with the unavoidable stress that comes with an intimate relationship over time. You are not learning new ways of travel, and you have outdated gear (i.e. software). You Can Relate Yes? For example, the POS of the typical guy is oriented toward work, achieve, provide, invent, solve problems, and seek freedom. The POS of the typical woman is oriented toward connection, relationship, mothering, enhancement, improvement, socializing, and nesting. If you don t honor these differences and celebrate them, and more importantly know how to work with them, you ll frustrate and fail to communicate in a way that has him opening up. You ll naively think you are supposed to be the same instead of very different. And, long-term relationships are where are differences show up. So... Your Goal To learn to talk to your guy in a language he uses, that highlights the thing(s) that are most important to him in order to get him to open up and talk about his feelings. Here s a common example you may be able to relate to: You: I want you to talk to me about your feelings. Him: Why? I feel fine. You: You don t seem fine. You seem... Him interrupting: I already told you I m fine, what do you want from me? 12

13 You: But I just want to feel more connected, and Him: Why are you making a big deal of this? Can we keep things light? We were doing fine until you brought this up again Ouch. While it s understandable to just ask for what you want, this approach is sure to shut your man down and just won t work. Let s teach you an approach that works, cool? The Win-Win Approach Try this instead, Hey honey, I know you ve been working hard. When I see you going for it like that with your work, I see you both stressed out and inspired. I m curious if you d be willing to share the ins and outs of what you are going through with work right now. What lights you up? What pisses you off about work? And, how can I support you there b/c I m invested in your success? Notice how I speak to him in a language and topic that he cares about, not what I care about (previous example that shuts him down), yet I still increase the likelihood of me getting what I want which is for him to open up to me and talk to me in a deeper way. Yeah! Win-Win! I know, I can hear you say Yeah, but So, but what if I want him to talk to me about what I care about most? If he s reading this right now and on board already, this won t be an issue at all. If on the other hand, he doesn t know how to be with your emotions and you opening up into deeper terrain, you ll need to train him and get his buy in. 13

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15 Training Your Partner I needed to learn this too, and I did. So can he, and you can learn to train anyone to talk to you in a way that works for you. But only if you value yourself enough to make it happen. If you don t value yourself, you will quit here, you ll give up, and make up a story that makes yourself, or him, wrong. So, the next class is designed to do just that, to get him to not only open up, like we are teaching you here, but how to teach him to listen to you, validate you, so you feel safe sharing even more with him! You can check that out here. Now let s get back to HIM opening up. Below is the actual exercise of determining your POS. I will share a few more practical examples as we go. Instructions Get out a piece of paper and pen, or your laptop if you prefer, and we ll start with this simple, yet foundational, exercise. 15

16 Step 1: Get to know your own POS (Personal Operating System) I m going to ask you a series of basic questions that when answered, will show you how do you operate in life (your POS). The POS is made up of your preferences, values and priorities. When I say value I m not talking about things like honesty or trust. Those are personal qualities you may admire or appreciate in someone. Instead, here are a few examples: Phrased as a value: I value my connection to nature. Phrased as a preference: I love/prefer being outdoors. Phrased as a priority: It s a priority for me to visit nature twice per week. What matters most to you and where you typically orient in life? You ll list out these preferences, priorities, and values in terms of your how you orient your day, chosen or not. Write out three answers to each of the questions listed below. Really be honest. Think hard about what your life really looks like. Think and reflect upon your behavior. Your behavior and actions are the trustworthy answers here. **Notice the difference between what you think your preferences are (or what you want them to be) versus what they actually are. Initially here you are only writing down what they actually are at first. Later you can dream Sometimes we might say we prefer money, but really we prefer to spend money. So, if you truly prefer money, you would be investing it, saving it, learning about it, growing it, reading all about it, etc. A person saving, not spending truly has money as a priority in their life. Remember, you re listing the way your life is, not the way you wish it or hope it to be. Another example, let s say your prefer, or choose, to work, versus being with the kids. You ll need to ask yourself, what is it about work that I prefer? Money? Time away? Time focused on my life purpose? Providing for my family? The team of community I m surrounded by? 16

17 You don t have to write all those down, but it could be that you appreciate and value the community feel of work, but that you don t really love or value what you do, and you also don t love where you work. So, you d write down business community or my role at work as a, instead of work. If you write yoga, then expand a tiny bit. Do you enjoy going to yoga or teaching yoga? Studying yoga? Writing about yoga? Another example, if you are a stay-at-home parent, parenting or raising my children will likely be one of your top 3. Do this solo at first. Later you will ask your man to do this with you and have him read this section. Step 1 Exercise Write 3 words to each question below. You ll have 24 words total when you are complete. Spend minutes doing this now. Then move on to step What matters most to you? (Your daily actions orient to what three most important things in your life) 2. What do you spend most of your time doing? 3. What do you spend most of your energy doing? 4. What do you spend most of your money on? 5. Who do you spend the most time with? 6. What are the themes, content, and patterns of your internal mind chatter (what do you think about all the time)? 7. What does your spouse, or the closest person in your life, see as your top three preferences? 8. If I followed you around for a week as a fly on the wall (hiding from your awareness) what would I start to see as your top three preferences? 17

18 Step 2: Sort the answers into your personal hierarchy Within all 24 answers, themes begin to emerge. Write down how many times you mention each answer. You ll notice certain ones repeat. Order these from most mentioned to least mentioned. These are your preferences, values, and priorities that make up your internal POS. If mothering showed up in 7 of your answers, that would likely be the top priority so you d put mothering down in the first blank below. The priority that comes next would be the next most mentioned theme. You might need to lump a few together. Your list will look like this: 1st Highest priority (most mentioned) 2nd Highest priority 3rd Highest priority 4th Highest priority 5th Highest priority 6th Highest priority (least mentioned) Pay special attention to where your marriage or intimate relationship falls. Also note if sex or emotional connection were or were not mentioned. Again, be honest. No fudging here. Put what is actually true, versus what you want it to be. Here s a simple diagram. Highest value up top, lowest number down at bottom. Ideally share your POS with your spouse or a close friend. Get their feedback and ask them if these seem right to you, given how you behave daily, and who you present yourself to be. Your highest priority is that thing you spend the most energy on. You are most disciplined and reliable with that thing. Even if you disagree with what the results were, none of us need any external motivation to do that top priority thing. 18

19 A teenage girl doesn t need anyone to motivate her to text with her friends all day long on her phone. She s naturally inspired to do that. A Olympic athlete doesn t need the coach to remind him/her to go practice today. A stay-at-home mom who loves being a mom doesn t need anyone to tell her to cancel her plans if one of her kids is super sick and needs to be pulled from school that day. She ll just do it without question. Another example, let s imagine your top preference was work, but you hate your job. You might say that your job is a low priority, given how much you don t like it. But if you spend the bulk of your hours, time and energy at work punching the clock, you clearly prefer your job over other things, so something about that job (security, routine, stability, etc might be your highest value there). You get the idea right? Great. So stop here and go do the exercise. Then come back and we ll continue Now that you have your compass or POS in place I want you to write down what you want it to be (the dream compass) just for fun since you re thinking about it anyway. Follow the next step. 19

20 Step 3: Write Down What You Want Your Preferences To Be Do you want your relationship to be a higher priority? Or, do you want to be a higher priority on your his preferences? If you are oriented to a lifestyle that is hurting you or not inspiring, what do you want it to orient to instead? Do you hate your job, but it s still your top priority? Do you love being a mom, but are not giving yourself permission to just do that? Then, what do you want your top priority to switch to? In a dream scenario, what do you wish you spent the most time, energy, and money doing? Getting very honest about where you stand is important. Then, you have the real information and now you can choose what you want to do about it. Watch the tendency to compare yourself to what you think you should be doing. That s someone else s life or trip, not yours. Stay with your own dreams and desires. If there s a gap between what your preferences actually are and what you want them to be, you have work to do to change your preferences and orientation in life, right? And, if you were honest and your relationship was lower down on the list, and you want different results, you ll need to move it higher up. The good news is that you can change your POS to whatever you want it to be. However, it will take some work since you ve oriented your life around the other priorities and you have some old hardware and software. Now, make a personal commitment to tweak your POS and give yourself a deadline. By when will you have an updated POS in place that is more aligned with the most true version of yourself? 20

21 Next, what action steps do you need to take to make that a reality? Remember, you don t want to be someone you re not. So, if you feel guilt because your relationship is low on the list and you think it should be higher, that s not what you really value. You might not even want to be in a relationship right now. That s okay. Don t make that wrong. Be true to you, whatever the information is. The only way it s going to feel great is if you honor whatever is true, including ending a relationship. Your relationship life will not change for the better until it is in your top three priorities. Next, let s learn about your guy. 21

22 Step 4: Learn Your Man s Preferences And How He Orients In Life. This is the key step if you want to learn how to communicate more effectively with your man. This can transform your stuck relationship into a thriving COS that is a source of strength and nourishment. Okay, by now, you are getting that you ve been trying to talk to him about what s important to you which does NOT work. We both know that s backwards to getting him to open up even more emotionally to you. If you want to have a deeper relationship with him, you MUST learn what he cares about and talk to him in those terms. So, quickly fill in this diagram. Take your best guess as to what his POS is. What is his north star, that thing that lights him up that he is actually doing? If he s not actually doing it, but has a hidden love, it s obviously something inspiring to him, but he has yet to give himself permission to do that, because like you, he has fears. But let s say he cares most about his work (common for most guys). What is it that he loves about work? Even if he hates his job, he obviously likes something the job is providing or he wouldn t be doing it. Is it financial security? Is it status? What does he need no external motivation for within that job, if you had to guess? Just write down a draft here. Later you can check it out with him and see how close you were to guessing. Okay, now comes the most important step in the process 22

23 Step 5: Who Are You Two Together? The Couple Operating System Let me quickly review a basic principle in marketing. Good marketing is taking the customer needs into account. When you go buy a new pair of boots, the person at the boutique doesn t walk up to you and tell you what they want you to wear right? That rarely works. A great salesperson comes up to you and asks what you are looking for, what you are wanting the boots for. She will get to know you and your needs and wants. Then she will slowly use her magic to help you find just the right bair of boots to that fit on every level. She wants you to feel like a rock star in those boots and she wants that for you. If she provides that for you, you ll probably buy from her right? In this way, selling isn t difficult for her. Selling is simply her understanding exactly what you want and then doing her best to give it you. It s no different with you guy. If you want him to light up, you don t talk about what you care about, you talk about what he cares about. It s no surprise that men and women, generally speaking, have different POS s. We have different gear and hardware. And, if we expand beyond gender stereotypes, all of us have different hardware and software and no two people have the same POS. I want to give you an example where two POS s are not really communicating well. The below example is where two individuals will likely be frustrated over time. If they can t work out their differences, they will remain disempowered and will suffer a great deal as a result. That diagram looks like this: Man woman 23

24 As you can see, there is very little connection. This couple feels estranged, distant, and disconnected. Ideally, a couple can find a sweet spot between them, where they are separate, yet connected. When two POS s combine well they form a third OS that I call the COS (couple operating system), seen below. We want the COS to form a synergistic bond where power is maximized but where both couples don t have to give up their POS. Power is maximized when both parties are living according to their highest priorities, true to themselves, and make the COS and its alignment a high priority as well. But here s the thing. There has to be alignment on something in the middle. The middle is your couple happy place full of the kinds of things you enjoy doing together. It also holds the core philosophy on how you see or orient in life. The overlapping middle is the glue that keeps you headed toward your North Star as a couple. For example, two very different people can be highly religious and do really well together because they have a share vision of why we are here that links them in the middle. There is no moral judgment about which of our priorities is better or worse. There is no right, wrong, good, or bad. Our POS is just how we choose to align our lives. All of us have a different internal compass that points to our unique north. There must be something in the middle that aligns you two, or you ll frustrate pulling each other toward your own direction, and one of you may abandon your own dreams to submit to the other person s direction. This can work if you are okay with it and it feels great, but often it doesn t feel great. 24

25 So, the challenges come when you try to get him over to your POS. If you value deep connections and he does not, you will keep trying to get him to be like you, which leads him to feeling judged and criticized. He hates that. At this point, you might think or assume you know your man s POS. However, if you have problems and challenges in your relationship, you have more to learn about his POS. Knowing your man s POS will take conversations deeper. Knowing his POS builds connection and intimacy. Finding the sweet spot of the COS is a magical moment for a couple and can serve as a bedrock to any challenge you face individually or separately. Once you learn about your man s POS, specifically what matters most to him, it will have him feeling loved and accepted for who he actually is. But where you get stuck is wanting your man to have a POS like yours because you have a fantasy that that will lead to less friction in your life, when in reality it creates more friction in your life. Doah! So, how do you not do that? How do you not fall prey to wanting your man to change all the time, or even sometimes? By learning how to communicate according to what matters most to both of you, you each get what you want, nearly every time. How would that be for you? If you got what you wanted and he got what he wanted on a consistent basis? And, that getting what you both wanted didn t lead to resentment, and instead build bridges between the two of you? How would it be to achieve a kind of unshakable synergy with your COS? Or, would you rather keep spinning the same old loops and patterns you ve always done? For example, let s say you orient toward parenting and relationship as your top two priorities and your husband orients to work/security/providing as his highest priority. These priorities could conflict right? But they don t have to. 25

26 What do you do? Both parties need to find ways to communicate in each other s highest priorities by knowing each other s POS. Remember the goal of this POS stuff? To learn to talk to your guy in a language he uses, that highlights the thing(s) that are most important to him in order to get what you want. Example: Let s say your husband doesn t like to talk much about his feelings (low priority for him), but you really enjoy emotional connection (high priority for you). You will need to find out what he gets emotional about. What is it that wakes up his heart? Think of the times when he s most emotional. When do you see him most upset and when is he most elated or happy? Let s say he gets super upset when it comes to specific work matters. You can zero in on that and ask him a question like this: Honey, I notice you have been pretty upset about that work issue lately, I m curious to hear more about what makes that so frustrating/annoying. Sounds pretty brutal. I m game for listening if you want to vent about it. Notice how I m asking you to talk to him about what he cares about (work), but to talk about it in a way/manner you value and prefer (emotional). 26

27 Or, let s say he just closed a big deal and he s really happy about it. This time try asking a question. But don t ask yes or no questions. Only ask questions that give him room to explain/explore. You can try something like this: Honey, Wow. I see you happy about the deal you just closed. I m really happy for you. I want to hear all about it, every detail you want to share. What made you succeed in this way? What were the finer points where you are really proud of yourself? I want to learn more about your business and exactly what you do. I know I haven t paid that much attention, but right now, I want to know the details because I love watching you win. Or, you could just say, Honey, tell me more about your recent work victory. I d love to hear more. Every time he shares, you stay present and follow whatever your curious about So, after you ask him, he then adds, Well, it wasn t that big of a deal, I just studied the material and had an awesome presentation. You could add, Oh right, that presentation you were working the last 2 weeks after I wen to bed? Yeah, that one. He says. You stay curious and say something like Right. I remember begin concerned about you, and it seems like all that hard work paid off. Tell me more about where you are most proud of yourself during that whole process. You seem naturally good at X, or Y, so, how did that play into this success for you? You get what we re doing here right? Once you get out of yourself, you follow what s most alive for him? If he shuts down during that conversation, you obviously missed a cue there or hit a sensitive spot for him. Note that. Let him know you see him there and you re here if he needs it. Seems like something I said right there impacted you. I notice that and am here if you want to give me feedback or perhaps you want space. Just let me know. 27

28 Curiosity just keeps going and going. Your curiosity never ends if you are focused on him and not you. But secretly you are focused on you right? Because the more he opens up, the more alive the moment becomes. I personally love exploring with someone what matters most to them. And, I love seeing them in it and even naming it. Hey, you seem to love talking about this right now. It s so clear you care about this subject because your eyes light up and your voice gets really animated. 28

29 Getting the point? You might be asking, yeah, but when is he going to ask about me? Ah ha! I knew you d ask. The first thing that you may notice is that the more you give him your genuine interest from your heart and really ask him to keep talking about what he loves, sooner or later, he ll get it. That he s been talking about himself mostly and that he doesn t know much about you. He ll then turn to you And, if he doesn t? No problem. I ve got you covered... In our next class, I will teach you how to get him to take an interest in you. This of course, takes the relationship deeper. There s a few really important dos and don t I want you to consider if you want the relationship to go deeper and I cover those in the next class. There s really 4 main steps to go to the next level and get his buy in. I m going to show you how to do all of that in our next class. You can register for that here: The 4 Simple Steps (That You Can Use) To Talk To Your Man About Your Feelings & Your Need For A Deeper Emotional Connection (Without Coming Across As Naggy, Whiney, Or Too Demanding!) To your relationship success and fulfillment! -Jayson 29