The Stop Worrying Today Course. Week 2: How to Replace Your Worries with a Smarter Approach to the Future

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1 The Stop Worrying Today Course Week 2: How to Replace Your Worries with a Smarter Approach to the Future

2 Copyright Henrik Edberg, You do not have the right to sell, share or claim the ownership of the content of this course. This course is for informational purposes only and it contains my opinions based on my experience. You should always find the advice of a professional before taking action on something I have published. Page 2

3 In last week s guide we went through some of the most important reasons for why we worry. One of those reasons was that we want to think every possible future scenario through and by that ensure that we do not fail. This has been one of the biggest reasons for my own worries in life. But over time I have come to realize that worrying isn t planning for the future. It is just ramblings anytime and anywhere. Yes, it can sometimes be helpful but mostly it makes you unhappy. Because it usually just makes your thoughts spin around in your head and those thoughts become more and more frightening as your imagination starts to get out of control. And this is not only scary. It s also not a very constructive use of time and energy that actually prepares you for a negative outcome. Page 3

4 I realized this, got tired of my old and destructive approach to the future and so I explored healthier habits. Habits that would empower me and truly help me rather than zapping my energy and making me feel powerless over my life and what happens in it. And in this week s guide I d like to share two of the ones that I most often use and have found to be among the very most powerful. The first approach is taking a constructive and structured path to thinking about the future and situations that could cause worry. Instead of running around in circles. Here s what you do (you can find this exercise in this week s worksheet too). Step 1: Just breathe. Use one of the steps you learned last week and belly breathe for a minute or two to calm yourself down a bit and to clear your mind. Page 4

5 Step 2: What s the worst that could happen? No matter what you might be worried about, now is the time to look at the situation or challenge with clear eyes and a level-headed mind. Do that by asking yourself: Honestly, what is the worst that could happen in this situation? Be realistic with your answer as best you can. Don t paint up vivid disaster scenarios that would only happen once in a 1000 tries or in some outlandish movie plot. Just try to find the worst thing that could realistically happen and write it down in this week s worksheet. Step 3: Build a safety net for the worry. Now that you have narrowed in and can see your current situation and worry with more clarity it is time to explore what you can do if it was to happen (even if that might be quite unlikely). You do this so it won t feel so scary if you should fall. Because now you feel prepared and you have a rough plan. Ask yourself these questions: Page 5

6 If the worst happens, then what can I do about it? How can I lessen the pain of it? What other alternatives do I have to take action on to improve or solve that situation? What can I do to make it less likely that it happens in the first place? Think about it and write your answers down. By doing so you open up your mind to seeing what you can take action on and do if it actually was to happen. You regain your power. Instead being so focused on what might happen and how you are powerless in such a situation. Because you rarely are if you take some time to actually think about it. And then, when you are prepared for the worst it simply becomes much easier to focus your daily and weekly energy into actually doing fully focused and high-quality work. And into spending quality time with your loved ones and your favorite hobby. Instead of spending it and so much of your time on worrying. If the worry pops up again later on as is common in my experience simply focus on your breathing for a minute and then repeat the answers that you got out of this exercise to calm yourself down and to center yourself again. Page 6

7 Step 4: Take one small step forward today with your plan. After you have opened up your mind to the solutions and to what you actually can do about the situation that causes worry then don t stop there. That s common mistake that tends to lead to the worry resurfacing and becoming stronger again after a while. Instead, simply take one small or a very small step forward to take action on what you discovered that you can actually do about the situation. One small step today. That s it. It could be to: Spend 10 minutes on fleshing out your plan for what you can do and add details and small and simple action-steps for the coming week. Re-read your notes for 10 minutes before that worrying exam in school. Read up on 3 good topics for any conversation if you are worried about your date this week and about running out of things to say. Call and cancel your cable subscription if you ve discovered that it s one of the things you can do to save money each month and to feel less worried about your finances at this time. Take just one step forward today. And then you can take another one tomorrow if you like. By taking action you ll feel more in control and empowered again. And your mind will be focused on the way forward and creative and constructive thinking instead of on mulling over the same negativity and perceived powerlessness over and over again. Page 7

8 The other approach to worry and thoughts about the future and a way to work through that is to just let your worry out into the light. To talk to someone about it. To let him or her see it. To release it from being something that only bounces around in your own head. This is one of my absolute favorites for handling worry because it tends to work so well. By letting your worry out into the light and talking about it with someone close to you it becomes a whole lot easier to see the situation or issue for what it really is. Here are two ways you can go about it. 1. Just vent and see where that takes you. Take 5-10 minutes to simply talk about it, describe the worry and what you fear to someone who just needs to listen (and not really add advice or anything like that). This release and sharing can make a big difference and after a while you may start to wonder what you were so worried about in the first place. And as the other person just listens you can work through the situation yourself out loud. And when the other person needs to vent at a later date, remember to be there for him or her too and to listen fully without thinking about other stuff at the same time. Page 8

9 2. Let the other person ground you. At other times it can be very helpful to let the other person ground you and help you find a more practical and useful perspective on what s going on. The two of you can discuss the situation at hand. She can contribute how she sees the situation, the likelihood of your fears coming true and perhaps what she or someone she knows has done constructively in a similar situation in the past. If you like, then the two of you can use some or all of the question from the first exercise for this week to work through the situation, see the realistically worst scenario and together - for a few minutes - build the start of a safety net and plan for what steps you can take to do something positive or preventative about the situation. Now, let s take a look at the next page and the action-steps for this week. Page 9

10 The Action-Steps for This Week Here s a quick summary of the action-steps to take this week: 1. Recap of previous week: Continue to use the three step combo of breathing + staying stop + using the zoom out question when a worry pops up. 2. Day 1: Use your worksheet to work through one of your top worries by using the honestly examining your worry exercise. Then take 1 small step today based on the answers and rough plan you come up with. 3. This week: Have one conversation where you let one of your biggest worries at this time out into the light (either by venting or by letting the other person ground you). And feel free to keep taking one small step a day or more if like - to keep the ball rolling with the worry-reducing plan you wrote down on day Day 7: Use the worksheet to review your week. Page 10

The Stop Worrying Today Course. Week 5: The Paralyzing Worry of What Others May Think or Say

The Stop Worrying Today Course Week 5: The Paralyzing Worry of What Others May Think or Say Copyright Henrik Edberg, 2016. You do not have the right to sell, share or claim the ownership of the content