The following five-step process is designed to set the scene for what lies ahead in the rest of the programme.

Transcription

1 GETTING READY for change The following five-step process is designed to set the scene for what lies ahead in the rest of the programme. Step 1: WHO DO I WANT TO BE? Start by looking back to page 30 in Module 12, where you described how you would like to see yourself in the future. Let s now capitalise on what you started exploring back then. (You may also want to look back at your notes from Modules 9 and 16 ). Picture yourself 8 years from now and write a description of a typical day: What will you be doing? Where will you be living? Who will be there - colleagues, life partner, children, parents? How will it feel? Copyright 2012 Steve Simpson and Stef du Plessis 40

2 Step 2: WHO AM I NOW? In this step of the discovery process, we ll explore your interpersonal style as others see it. You should relentlessly seek the truth about yourself, conscious of the fact that it is sure to be somewhat diluted by the time you get to hear it. One way to get to the truth is to increase your capacity for self-reflection. Another is to keep an extremely open attitude toward critiques. Yet another is to actively seek negative feedback from friends, family, bosses, subordinates and peers (think about the work you did in Module 11, and what feedback you would get from other people if they were to be brutally honest). It is crucial to identify your areas of weakness. But focusing only on your weaknesses can be dispiriting. That s why it is just as important to understand your strengths. We ll take this one step further in Module 27. For now, consider this: What was the interpersonal/behavioural feedback that you got from friends, family or colleagues during the last month? Again, look back at Module 11. The feedback I got was... Copyright 2012 Steve Simpson and Stef du Plessis 41

3 Step 3: HOW DO I GET FROM HERE TO THERE? Once you know who you want to be - as you described yourself 8 years from now - and you have compared this picture with how people see you now, you will need to devise an action plan that will transform you into the other you. Jot down any ideas you may have on what you can do to make the transformation, based on what we ve covered so far. What I can do to set me on my way to becoming the ultimate me : Copyright 2012 Steve Simpson and Stef du Plessis 42

4 Step 4: HOW DO I MAKE CHANGE STICK? In short, making change permanent requires great commitment, a lot of effort and regular practice. The reason lies in the brain. It takes doing and redoing, over and over, to break old neural paths. New behaviour must be rehearsed until it becomes automatic - that is, until it s mastered at the level of implicit learning. Even so, lasting change doesn t happen through visualisation and brainpower alone. It demands action (you also need to rescript your beliefs, mindsets and attitudes, but more about this later). Plus, we need a little help from our friends and loved ones around us for continuous positive feedback and support. Jot down any thoughts you might have on what you can do to improve the way you engage with others, as well as how you can change some of your habits: Copyright 2012 Steve Simpson and Stef du Plessis 43

5 Step 5: WHO CAN HELP ME AND HOW? We cannot improve ourselves without help from others. We not only practice with other people but also rely on them to create an environment in which to experiment. We need to get feedback about how our actions affect others and to assess our progress. Our relationships offer us the very context in which we understand our progress and comprehend the usefulness of what changes we re making. Copyright 2012 Steve Simpson and Stef du Plessis 44