69 Secrets To A Stress Free Life

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1 69 Secrets To A Stress Free Life Congratulations on taking the first step to a Stress-Free life!!! Here are 69 ideas that I have used personally and with my clients to make beneficial changes in our lives. I encourage you to take a look at all the ideas. The ones you feel the most resistance to or feel a waste of time are the ones that you may benefit greatly from. They may help you to grow personally in ways you have yet to consider. Some of the ideas may feel strange and not things you would usually do, yet I really encourage you to give them a go. These changes will take time and it s okay to work on one idea at a time. Be your best Wendy Hearn Success Coach Wendy Hearn Coaching Midsummer Court, 314 Midsummer Boulevard, Central Milton Keynes. MK9 2UB Tel: UK (01908) Fax: UK wendy@business-personal-coaching.com Copyright Wendy Hearn

2 1 Take 5 minute breaks regularly throughout your day. Sit or walk on your own and relax, breathe deeply and feel peaceful. You will feel more relaxed and not so overwhelmed, increasing your level of concentration and ability to achieve more, in less time. 2 Use the words Would you when asking for things. For example, Would you look after my plants while I am on holiday? You are more likely to achieve a yes as the other person is left feeling capable and having a choice rather than being told to what to do. 3 Take time for yourself on a regular basis. Perhaps you might take a long bath, read, have quiet time alone or whatever feels good for you. You will be feel good about yourself and more relaxed and energised to enjoy your life more fully. 4 Arrive 10 minutes early for every work and personal appointment. You will have time to feel relaxed, prepare yourself and to show respect for the other person s time. 5 Follow your spontaneous impulses. If you feel like going to the beach and playing in the water Go for it!! It s a wonderfully light and joyful way to experience your life and open yourself up to new opportunities. 6 Understand your financial position accurately. Make time and commit this to paper How much is your income? What are your expenses exactly? How much are you saving? Knowing these facts will free up your energy to make more effective choices for yourself.

3 7 Clear up things that you re putting up with. Make a list of them upsets with family and friends, unfinished work, broken household items. and then communicate with, complete, fix or do whatever it takes for you to handle these. You will free up mental space and release your energy for more worthwhile things. 8 Try new activities. Each week or month choose something you wouldn t usually think of doing, such as, salsa dancing, camping, windsurfing. New experiences will open you up to enjoy life more fully and to explore your true potential. 9 Write in your journal every day. Find a time that works best for you, maybe first thing in the morning or last thing at night and write about your thoughts, feelings, ideas, stressful situations. You will safely explore and clarify your life and priorities, enabling you to make choices and to take action based around these. 10 Communicate your feelings using the statement I feel.. Such as, I feel unimportant when you don t telephone me during the day. You will feel less conflict as you are owning your feelings and talking about the other person's behaviour, not them personally. 11 Plan a fun activity every day. It can be for just 5 minutes or as long as you want such as watching a comedy, dancing, a water-pistol fight with friends. You will have something to look forward to each day, keeping fun and balance in your life.

4 12 Connect with young children. Talk, chat, play, explore and have fun with them. Children help to maintain your sense of reality, keep life events in proportion and allow you to see life through their excited eyes. 13 Smile at people. Whether you are in a queue, meeting someone, having a conversation. smile and you will feel friendlier and more approachable. Smiling is very relaxing on your body and you will feel brighter, lifting your spirits and other peoples. 14 Listen to your favourite music regularly. The music could be soothing, uplifting, relaxing, inspirational, fun. and chosen to meet an emotional experience or need that you re looking for at that moment. If there s tension between you and your children, playing some upbeat music and dancing around can lighten you all up. 15 Ask yourself, What have I learned today? Perhaps it's that you can be a supportive partner, live your life at a slower pace, follow your heart. You will be amazed at what you learn every day and having this awareness provides the opportunity to make changes. 16 Learn to be comfortable with feeling bored. When you feel bored and find yourself with some space - relax! You will be more open to new opportunities and trust in great things happening in your life, reducing the pressure you put on yourself.

5 17 Take time to dream. Whether it's about writing a book, starting a business, travelling the world. Keep the dream alive by thinking about it, visualising it, feeling it Dreaming allows you to really see and explore what you desire and will inspire you to be your best. 18 Explore and experience your feelings fully. For example, when you feel sad allow yourself to be sad rather than try to pick yourself up and pretend it doesn t manner. It s okay to feel sad, happy, frustrated accepting your feelings rather than fighting them helps you to know where in your life to make changes and reduce stress. 19 Quiet your mind at least once a day. Concentrate on your breathing and let all of your thoughts go. You will then be able to listen fully to what your body is telling you and act more on your intuition and what s right for you. 20 Express gratitude to yourself and other people. Every day think of and share 3 things that you re grateful for I am grateful for my health. I appreciate how you care about me.... Your life and attitude will improve when you focus on the things that work for you and feel good now. 21 Practice the skill of listening fully. Keep quiet, concentrate your attention on the other person solely, ask questions to find out more and count to 5 before responding. You will learn more about the other person and their situation and can prevent stressful misunderstandings from developing.

6 22 Handle a procrastination today. For example, enrol for the course that you keep meaning to get round to and feel a little fearful of doing. You will be supporting yourself in doing what you really want to do and confirm that action overcomes procrastination. 23 Celebrate your achievements often. Celebrating will help to keep you motivated and can be a meal, flowers or a gift of your choice. Recognising and thanking yourself reminds you what s great in your life and while you re enjoying yourself you re less likely to feel stressed. 24 Spend less money than you earn. This is a tough one for many people and if you need to make cutbacks to achieve this, do it today!! You will create mental space and energy while being free from financial worries. 25 Ask people to help you. Choose 3 things today that you can receive help with and ask for it. You will have less to cope with and get done, can stop being a hero who does it all and leave the other person feeling important with a sense of responsibility. 26 Express your creativity. Spend time singing, writing, drawing, thinking, painting Everyone is creative and discovering a way to express this will be relaxing and inspiring to you. 27 Exercise. Choose a level and an amount that feels right for you, which could start with a 5 minute walk and build up from there. Exercising will help to relieve your stress and will leave you feeling great about yourself.

7 28 Get sufficient sleep. The amount of sleep required by individuals varies and so check with yourself when you wake up in the morning whether you feel tired or energised and vary your amount of sleep accordingly. You will feel refreshed, mentally alert and at your most capable to deal with and enjoy your day fully. 29 Eat healthy and nutritious food. You might try choosing fresh fruit at times in preference to high sugar foods. When you eat healthily you are giving your body the best and this will leave you with more energy, valuing and caring for yourself properly. 30 Clean up your work space. Such as, find a way to eliminate the piles of paperwork. Working in an environment that is clean and organised will free up your mind and reduce distractions for you. When our space feels cluttered it leads to our mind feeling cluttered. 31 Create boundaries. Boundaries reflect what other people can or cannot do or say to you, for instance, I am only able to listen to you when you speak calmly without shouting. This will leave you feeling protected from hurtful situations. 32 Manage yourself rather than your time. You cannot change time yet you can make changes to yourself by organising yourself, setting priorities, taking responsibility. When you manage yourself you will have more time to create the life you really want.

8 33 Refrain from using can t. For example, I can t get out of bed in the morning - really! I can t help with the washing-up - you can. It may be that you are choosing to do something else and if that s the case, then say that. When you replace can t with a fuller explanation you start to communicate and be understood better. 34 Be totally present in the moment. If you re enjoying time with friends let yourself really be there rather than allowing your thoughts to be elsewhere and preoccupied. You will experience the real joy in what s happening there and then and capture precious moments. 35 Learn to say no. A straight forward No is best although if this feels difficult at first try, No, my time is committed elsewhere. Saying no is a skill to learn, takes practice and you can do it pleasantly. You will never please everyone and accepting this will reduce the pressure you put on yourself. 36 Limit information you receive. For example, from newspapers, TV, radio, background conversation, Internet.. Most of us suffer from information overload trying to keep up with everything that s happening and when you limit this you will live life at a gentler pace. 37 Delegate tasks responsibly. Choose people you trust, ask for small thing's first, allow for responses and updates, and let them know the outcome. You will be more efficient when concentrating on what you re great at and feel comfortable about delegating if it's done responsibly.

9 38 Learn from people you meet. For example, if you are in conversation with someone who has a successful business, consider in what ways this may be relevant to you. It may bring to the surface concerns or strengths that you were not aware of before. We all have lessons to bring to each other and opening ourselves up to these lessons allows us to learn more about ourselves and our direction in life. 39 Review your night dreams. When you wake up write them down and become aware of their possible meanings in your life. For example, if you dream about floating ask yourself questions about how floating or feeling light is a reflection of your life. Exploring your dreams is a way of understanding yourself, situations or problems and unlocking your answers. 40 Reward your achievements. Choose the reward before you start both for small and large achievements and use it to move you forward, particularly when overcoming an obstacle. Rewarding yourself will encourage you to keep persevering and focusing on winning. 41 Define your priorities in life. List your top 5 priorities in order of importance to you. For example, health, family, career Being clear about your priorities and living your life according to them eliminates much of the struggle when you are making a decision. If health is your first priority making time to exercise will be an easier decision. 42 Acknowledge yourself daily. Take 10 minutes at the end of each day to acknowledge yourself, your strengths and your achievements. For example, I acknowledge myself for listening to others better, being a great parent, persevering with a business project It s a positive way to end your day, leaves you feeling valued and is an honest reminder of yourself.

10 43 Connect with friends. Make time to call them on the telephone, write a letter, spend an evening having fun, share a painful experience Friends are an important part of your life and will provide you with support, different thoughts, inspiration and a real sense of who you are. 44 Keep your driving beneath the speed limit. These limits are for your safety and what s the hurry!! Choose to make the most of the scenery, conversation This is a great place to start putting your life onto a different level and experience life at a more relaxed pace. 45 Answer telephone calls only at convenient times for you. For example, if it's a family meal time stay with the family rather than take the call. This will allow you to stay totally present with what you are currently doing and reduce the demands on you personally at that moment. 46 Reduce visual distractions. Such as, pictures, furniture, paperwork, ornaments, books, general clutter. The less you have around you, the less there is to drain your energy. This will leave you feeling lighter and more creative. 47 Receive intellectual stimulation regularly. You might try conversations, books, training courses, playing number games in your mind. This keeps your brain alert, opens your mind to new ideas and solutions.

11 48 Create space in your life for new things. When you are busy keeping going and do not feel clear about where you are heading you re likely to feel stuck. Start letting go of some stressful things in your life and have the time and space for what you really want. You will welcome new opportunities rather than feeling overwhelmed by them. 49 Read an inspirational piece each day. Set aside 10 minutes, pick up an inspirational book and become engrossed in its positive messages. You need to keep putting these messages into your mind to maintain a positive attitude and prevent the negatives from taking a hold. 50 Accept that it's okay to make mistakes. We all make them and what really matters is what you learn from them. It s not a mistake when you use it to improve your learning. 51 Stop assuming things. Take note of what you are assuming and start to discover whether it s really the truth. For example, rather than assume that your partner would like to see a film ask and get their answer. When you stop assuming and start discovering you become more flexible rather than experiencing or seeing only your perspective. 52 Detach yourself from outcomes. This keeps you present, centred and attentive, leaving you aware of other peoples wants and needs as well as your own. You will then be open to new challenges or opportunities that may bring about a better result and you will be less likely to feel a failure when you don t reach a specific outcome.

12 53 Notice coincidences in your life. For example, when you pick up a magazine and the first article you read contains information that you ve been needing, know that there s a reason for this and take action. Coincidences have a purpose and they are trying to teach or show you something. 54 Quit worrying. It s a sheer waste of energy and probably 90% of what you are worrying about will not happen. Take this energy and use it to solve the problems that are causing you to worry. 55 Take responsibility for your actions. Actions that you take are a result of choices that you ve made. When you take responsibility for your actions you realise that you are able to make different choices. 56 Keep in touch with your feelings. For example, when something doesn t feel right or comfortable ask yourself How do I feel about this? Take the time to explore these feelings and you will understand yourself more fully. Knowing how you feel and what you want to do about it will improve your communication with other people. 57 Choose to be happy. You are responsible for your feelings and have the power to decide how you feel. For example, your day may start badly yet you can choose not to let it affect your feeling of happiness. When you come from a place of peace and love you will experience life more positively and joyfully.

13 58 Switch off the TV when you re watching something that doesn t have a purpose. If you re just watching TV to take up time have the courage to look at what you re possibly avoiding. This will give you time to pursue many more activities such as conversation, reading and learning, exercising or spending time with other people. 59 Laugh out loud every day. Turn this into a game and work on achieving laughter from deep inside you by watching a hilarious film, telling jokes or tickling fights with other people. You will feel your spirits lift considerably. 60 Express your love to people around you. Say I love you, hug them, listen and spend time with them. We all need to feel loved and expressing love to others will leave everyone feeling good about themselves. 61 Refrain from judging yourself and others. For instance, when you see someone shouting and screaming at their children instead of judging them have compassion for them and understand that perhaps they need support. We all do our best in the given circumstances and when you judge yourself and others you close down to possibilities and your ability to improve yourself. 62 Replace negative thoughts. When they enter your mind tell yourself to STOP this thought and choose a positive one. I will never be able to do that you could replace with I am capable and will learn the skills to be able to do that. Negative thoughts are prominent in most minds and when you make a choice to replace these thoughts you will live in a more positive and loving way.

14 63 Let go of things that don t serve you now. There are many things in your life that aren t working well for you now although they may have done so in the past. Letting them go will allow more of the things that do work for you into your life. 64 Give and receive hugs. Hug yourself and other special people in your life, it can really make a big difference to how you and they are feeling. A hug shows caring, compassion and warmth and it s a moment that lasts forever. 65 Learn to view life through the eyes of a 7 year old child. For example, when you drop your shopping on the floor and the oranges are rolling around a child would probably laugh seeing the amusing side of this. Seeing a child s view will get you back to being inquisitive, fun, spontaneous and full of life while keeping your adult responsibilities, you ll feel lighter about life and it s adversities. 66 Get rid of expectations. For instance, you may expect recognition for your work with a promotion and yet this may not fit in with the companies' procedures. Having expectations of someone or something is likely to leave you feeling disappointed when it doesn t go your way. 67 Stop trying to control everything and everyone. For example, you may want your colleagues to do everything your way and yet you re dealing with individuals who have minds and opinions of their own. There is only one person that you can control and that is you.

15 68 Show your appreciation. Every day tell someone that you appreciate them, I appreciate the way you ve supported me through this emotional time. We all need to feel appreciated and showing appreciation to others will allow you to live in a more loving way. 69 Create affirmations for yourself. Describe who you are, for example, I am wonderful, I am creative, I am someone who takes responsibility for my actions... You will become more aware of who you really are, your strengths and what you have to offer as a person. Your feelings of confidence and self-esteem will increase. Printed versions of this booklet are available from and Amazon.co.uk Wendy Hearn, Success Coach A coach is professional resource, who inspires you to achieve your desired success, both personally and professionally, who guides you in working through problems and supports you in staying focused on the results you want to create in your life. A partner in your life, assisting you to go further, faster than you would on your own.

16 Subscribe to my FREE Newsletter A Stress Free Life by sending an to stress-request@go.listdelivery.com with subscribe in the body of the message. A newsletter to support and inspire you to start eliminating stress in your life. Written by me personally, your Success Coach, who will be coaching you to start taking action. Wendy Hearn, Success Coach I work with individuals, business owners, professionals, corporate managers and executives who know there is more to life and are ready to start experiencing their lives more fully. They want balance, financial security, fulfilling relationships and an occupation that inspires them to be their best. I provide coaching on an individual and group basis on the telephone and by . Wendy Hearn Coaching Midsummer Court, 314 Midsummer Boulevard, Central Milton Keynes. MK9 2UB Tel: UK (01908) Fax: UK wendy@business-personal-coaching.com Copyright Wendy Hearn