make room for Peace How to finally get rid of the clutter and have a more peaceful life. Lara Neves

Transcription

1 make room for Peace How to finally get rid of the clutter and have a more peaceful life. Lara Neves

2 Introduction My 2014 word of the year was PEACE. I started off strong, as I usually do, but by April I was working full time, in rehearsal for an opera, and still trying to run my household smoothly. I lost focus. I don't love to admit just how much I lost my focus, either. But that is the truth. I tried hard to relax that summer and not let myself get over- anxious about things that truly don't matter in the end. I believe I was mostly successful with this, but the fact is, clutter had begun to take over my life. Physical clutter was a big part of the mess, but mental, spiritual, and even schedule clutter played a large part, too. All of it caused me deep anxiety and made it really difficult to find the peace I longed to have in my life. Whether it was my messy desk full of the papers that multiply while I'm not looking and which have no other home, my inbox full of s that I have not yet dealt with, or my brain reminding me of all the things I have on my to- do list and not allowing me to sleep, I was finished with the clutter. I wanted it all out of my life! I had nobody to blame but myself. While my family was (and continues to be!) the source of much of the clutter, I simply had not taught them well enough, nor had I enforced many rules about keeping the clutter at bay. This book is about how I changed that at least, how I started the change, what worked and what didn t, and little lessons learned along the way. I will mostly be focusing on the hows and whys of getting rid of the clutter. I will also be sharing a few practical ways to eliminate some of the worst clutter that shows up in our homes and in our lives. Don t let clutter steal away your peace! Let s get started! 2

3 Chapter 1: Make an Action Plan I am a minimalist at heart. I like every surface to be as empty as possible. I like drawers to be neat and organized instead of crammed with stuff. I just love the peace and serenity that the empty spaces and organization brings to me. In my married life, I have never lived in a home more than three years...until now. We are on Year Six in this house, and the accumulation of stuff proves it. While I don't exactly love moving, I do enjoy the almost mandatory getting rid of things that comes along with it. It was nice to do a massive purge of the things we no longer used, loved, or needed to save space in the moving truck. If you want to truly get the clutter out, let s start with being that brutal with the physical clutter around you. "If I were moving, would I keep it?" will be the first question you ask yourself, followed by several others. But first! You need to know where on earth to start this massive purging of stuff! You know you want to get rid of it all, but you re going to need an action plan. A goal without a plan is just a wish. Part of my problem with clutter was the lack of a plan on how to address it. I could proclaim "I'm going to declutter!" every single new year or every time I get frustrated with the mess as much as I want, but if I never bothered to make a plan I would never succeed in actually doing it. So what does an action plan for decluttering your life look like? First, take a look around your house. Actually walk through each room, don't just rely on your memory of what needs work. 3

4 Now, ask yourself the following two questions: 1. What are the problem areas? Be specific. Don't just write down that the entire office is a problem area, even if that's true. What are the exact problem areas/surfaces in the office? Where does stuff pile up no matter how hard you try to keep that from happening? 4

5 2. Which items do not have a set place? Now look at the problem areas and write down which items are causing it to be a problem area. Chances are that those items have not been given a specific home, so they are instead cluttering up your desk or your nightstand. If those items actually do have a set place, you'll need to address the reasons why they are not where they are supposed to be. We will do that on another day, so for now, only write down the items which do not have a home. (You can use the worksheet on the next page for this process.) This process will give you an idea of where to start for your action plan. When I did this, I was completely overwhelmed looking at all of the problem areas in my home, but there is no need to be overwhelmed. We are going to address each of these things in this book, and even if you can't fix every problem area right away, you will have made a great start! Once you have identified all of your problem areas and homeless stuff, it is time to choose your priorities. Maybe your daughter's closet needs to be decluttered, but it doesn't bother you too much. However, your kitchen counter drives you insane. Start in the areas that most affect your life negatively. Once you have put your cluttered spaces in priority order, decide how much time you will spend on this project each day. If you have a lot to do, you may want to choose an hour, but if you are already fairly organized and only have a few problem areas, maybe you're good with just fifteen minutes. Set a time each day that you will devote to this project. If you can possibly make it the same time each day, that is best, but if you have a difficult schedule, just write it in where it fits. And that's it! You have begun to take action against the clutter. You know which areas need to be addressed, and when/how long you will address them. Assignment Identify problem areas and homeless items. Set priorities. Schedule daily time to work on decluttering. 5

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7 Chapter 2: Why Clutter Happens When I take a long, hard look at my home and everything in it, I am absolutely amazed. I cannot believe the amount of THINGS I have amassed over the years! And when I think about how much time it takes out of my life just to take care of those things, I am even more amazed. We give so much of our lives over to taking care of things we really don't need, don t like, and don t use. I don t think any of us really wants to spend so much time managing our stuff, and yet, somehow the clutter keeps piling up. So let s talk about the reasons WHY clutter happens. It is hard to get the problem under control until you truly understand the cause. It s important to look at your clutter and think about why you ve kept it around. When I think about the reasons why I have allowed stuff to get out of hand in my home, here is what I came up with: 1. Sentimentality. This is a hard one. All of the little notes from my kids that I discover every time I work to declutter my office really get me. I hate to throw any of them away, even if I can't figure out which kid they're from! There is a dress hanging in my closet that I used to wear when my husband and I were dating. There is no way in the world I could ever squeeze myself into it now. And even if I could, it's unlikely I would wear it as it looks like it came from 1998! But my husband absolutely loves that dress and will not let me get rid of it. So for now, it stays. Maybe I will be happy I kept it many years from now. We have a few knick- knacky type things that the girls have purchased on our various vacations. I loathe knick- knacks myself and don't buy them. They are annoying to manage and I can never really figure out a good place for them, yet the girls would be so sad if I were to throw them out because they remind them of our fun times together as a family. These are just a few examples of some of the sentimental clutter that has built up in my own home I bet you could come up with many more! 7

8 2. Shopping as a stress reliever Sometimes if I am feeling stressed out I feel the need to buy something. I suppose it's better than eating something, but I do that too! Sometimes I just like to get out of the house and be by myself. But when I do that, I often end up at some store where I aimlessly peruse the aisles until I find something I want to buy. Or sometimes I see something online and I hit buy before even thinking about the fact that I already have enough skirts, and just because it's adorable doesn't mean I need it and should buy it. Sometimes I even buy something because a friend purchased it and I really like it, so I want one, too. Even though I have no idea what I'll do with it or where I'll put it. 3. Someday I might need it. I have piles of craft and scrapbooking supplies that I will probably never use. I have not made a scrapbook page in several years, and yet it kills me to think of getting rid of any of it. Someday I might start scrapbooking again, right? I'm just too busy right now. I sometimes keep pickle jars or other cool containers because I am sure I might be able to find a use for it someday. I keep lots of things in the name of frugality, actually. But when it comes down to it, I either forget I have something and buy a new one anyway, or I never actually need it. 4. Somebody gave it to me. I have a few things on display in my house that I do not love or even like simply because somebody gave them to me as a gift. While I don't love the item, I do love the person, or I am at least afraid that they will see it is gone if I get rid of it. As I type this I am looking at a little handmade porcelain bird that a neighbor gave me a few years ago as a thank you gift for taking care of their dogs. It's pretty, but I am not a fan of knick- knacks, and even if I were, it's not my style. And yet I keep it, even though my neighbor has probably forgotten she gave it to me and wouldn't likely come into my office and notice whether it was gone or not anyway. I feel obligated to keep things that people give me, even if I have absolutely no use 8

9 for them. 5. I spent good money on it. I have piles of fabric that I purchased with a project in mind but never actually started. I spent good money on it, yet it has sat in my basement for five years and I still have not done anything with it. The likelihood of my starting these projects at this point is pretty low, and I don't even like some of the fabric anymore. Yet, there it sits taking up space. I bought a yogurt maker forever ago that I have never taken out of the box. I really do have good intentions of using it to make my own yogurt really, I do! But if I haven't used it in over seven years, am I really deluded enough to think that I will use it anytime soon? So many things fall into this category: clothes, toys, books, movies all of that kind of stuff. If it isn't being used, why do I keep it? Because I think about how much money it cost me and I feel like I should keep it for that reason alone. 6. I simply don't set aside time to deal with it. Things pile up, and even if none of the above reasons apply, I just don't take the time to deal with it. And then I get overwhelmed. And then more stuff piles up. You'll notice that I have not provided any solutions here. Believe me, I wanted to. My fingers typed them out several times. I KNOW the solutions. But I really need to think about the reasons right now so I don't have to deal with this again a year from now. You don t want to deal with this again, either. Figure out why your clutter is happening, and start fixing the problem from its root cause. Why does clutter happen in your house? 9

10 Chapter 3: Why Should You Declutter? As I worked to look at clutter from its root cause and get rid of it that way, I learned a lot about WHY you should declutter. Sometimes, the how is the easiest part, but understanding the why will actually give you the motivation to do it. Now, I knew all of these things to be true on some level. But when you've let things get out of control with the clutter, it isn't so easy to remember them. As I came closer and closer to my minimalistic ideal, I relearned these principles as I began to see them put into action. And the only thing I did was get rid of stuff! 1. Do Less Housework This should be enough motivation to kick that clutter out immediately! I have noticed that when I focus on decluttering a space in my home that the area is much easier to keep clean after I m finished. What a concept, huh? Having less stuff means you have less stuff to keep clean, organized, and put away. 2. Find Stuff More Easily Having less stuff and keeping the stuff you do have orderly means you always know where to find things. You spend a lot less time looking all over the place for the things you need because you actually know where they are. Not only that, but in the process of decluttering I promise you that you will find many items you thought you had lost. Some of them aren't worth keeping because you forgot about them completely and have managed to live your life just fine without them, but some of them are certainly a relief to find. 10

11 3. Save Money Not only do you not have to run out and buy new things all the time, but you're going to be a lot more careful about the things you do bring into your home. For goodness' sake, you've just spent a month getting rid of all the crap, surely you'll think twice about bringing more in, right? I've also found that being organized in one area of my life usually begins to leak into the rest of my life. Because my home isn't cluttering everything up, I'm able to find the time to save money in other ways: by keeping up with budgeting, clipping coupons for grocery shopping, planning way ahead for things like Christmas and birthdays, and simply paying bills and turning in library books on time so I avoid late fees. 4. Take Better Care of the Things You Have I asked my husband what he thought the most positive byproduct of all the decluttering we accomplished was, and he said he cares more. When the house isn't always a cluttered up mess, he has more motivation to pick up something on the floor than he does when things are not so clean already. I find this to be true as well. Not only do you care more about keeping the house cleaner and items in their proper places, you care more about the items themselves. If my kids only have a few toys, they are more likely to take care of those toys than they would be if they had so many they can't keep things straight (and we have been in that position before, believe me!). 5. Focus on What Matters Most When you aren't busy managing stuff and cleaning up messes you free yourself up to do the things that are most important to you. Whether that is spending more quality time with your family, working on a hobby that you love, or achieving other goals that are important to you, you will have more time to do those things because there is less clutter in your life. 11

12 6. Feel More Peace That was the entire point of this project for me. I was sick of the anxiety. As I ve learned to more easily let go of the clutter around me I have felt more peace than ever. The trick is to keep up on things so that the anxiety doesn t begin to creep back in along with the clutter. 12

13 Chapter 4: What is Your Clutter Costing You? Now, let s flip that last chapter around and look at it a different way. Sometimes looking at what can happen if I do something isn t quite enough motivation for me to do it. But when I look at what not doing that something is currently costing me, I have much more motivation to get it done. So what has all the clutter in your life cost you? What does it continue to cost you the longer you procrastinate dealing with it? I'd already realized that my clutter was costing me a certain amount of peace, which is why I have titled this book the way I have. Yet, as I got rid of more and more of my stuff, I came to the realization that the clutter was taking much more from me than just my peace. 1. Clutter costs you time Clutter forces me to use my time in a way that I don't necessarily want to use it! My office, which is the number one cluttered room in my home, gets out of hand so badly that I have actually sent my husband and children out of town for an entire day so I could get it under control. The last time I did this they went to a stock car race a couple hours away and also saw a movie. So not only did I stay home and work my butt off to clean my mess of stuff, I missed out on some great quality time with my family! Because of clutter, I misplace things and can't find them. It takes time out of my day to find overdue library books, car keys, Sophia's other tennis shoe, my umbrella, and who knows how many other things? Some of the problem is because these things don't have a designated spot, or that they don't get put away properly. However, the biggest problem is because there is simply too much stuff to manage. 2. Clutter costs you money Clutter costs much more than the initial money spent to acquire it. It costs money to store it especially if you are renting storage units for all your stuff, but even if you are just storing it in your home. You are still paying for that space, after all. 13

14 Clutter costs money in the form of time. If you are using up your time managing your stuff or looking for things when you could be clocking hours on the job, you're also losing money. What about when you can't find something you need? Have you ever had to purchase another one? I have. It's unfortunate, especially since I almost always end up finding the first one eventually. Know where your things are, and you'll save money when you actually need them! Clutter can also cost us money in late fees. Misplaced library books and rental DVDs can rack up the fines pretty quickly. And if your desk is so cluttered that you forget to pay a bill that is buried under all the junk, you'll accrue late fees and/or interest there, too. 3. Clutter costs you energy Just looking at a cluttered area in my home drains me of my energy, much less having to deal with it! I really, really don't want to give either my mental energy or my physical energy to a bunch of stuff I simply don't need. And yet I do it every single day. 4. Clutter costs you cleanliness I bet if we all got rid of our clutter, we'd have to do less housework. Or, we could actually devote the same amount of time to deep cleaning instead of just clutter management and have a cleaner and healthier home. Just think of the messes the clutter hotspots cause. I dream of eradicating that entirely and being able to open my tupperware cabinet without dying a little bit inside and then wasting ten minutes looking for the right lid for the container I want to use! For instance. I can think of many more for instances, and I know you can, too. 5. Clutter costs you peace Clutter causes stress, and that is the opposite of peace. When I know someone is coming over, it takes longer than it should to get my house visitor- ready. (I'm not kidding, people who have been to my house.) This is why my office gets so out of hand- - it is the go- to place to shove everything on the day I'm hosting book club or having dinner guests. 14

15 Sometimes when I go upstairs to kiss my kids good- night, I instead freak out about all the mess of stuff everywhere! No peaceful good night stories happen then, because I spend our time before bed frantically helping them clean up. No more! Just looking at this list makes me so happy about what I've already accomplished and excited to do even more decluttering. Every time I get rid of something I feel a little bit lighter, and that is worth a LOT. What has your clutter cost you? 15

16 Chapter 5: Ask the Hard Questions In Chapter 1 we talked about making an action plan for decluttering by identifying the biggest problem areas in your home and then setting aside time to work on them each day. Once you have completed the worksheet and you know which problem area is affecting your life the most, it s time to get started! We are going to ask ourselves a series of questions when dealing with all of the stuff in your first problem area. Before I tell you the questions, though, I want to remind you to be totally and completely honest with yourself. In order for this project to be successful, that is absolutely vital! All right. Take a deep breath, pick up your first item, and ask: Does it have an assigned place? If the answer is yes, why is it not in its assigned home? Ponder the answer to this question before putting the item back into its place. If you recently used it and didn't put it back, that is one thing. It may be that its place works great, but you have not trained yourself (or your family) to put things back in their place when finished using them. But if it is NEVER in its assigned spot because it is inconvenient or illogical, maybe you need to rethink that spot and instead put the item amongst the things that do not have a place yet. If the answer is yes and you feel that the item's designated spot is fine, put it away. If the answer is no, this item does not have an assigned place, set it to the side and finish going through all of the rest of your items. Once you have finished this task, you will have a pile of homeless stuff. Now we're going to ask the really hard questions (remember to be 100% honest!): Why doesn't this item have a place? Does it work? Do I need it? Why? Do I love it? Why? 16

17 Do I use it? When was the last time I used it? Where do I use it? Do I have something else that will do the same job? If I were moving across the country, would I keep it? If you happen to be decluttering clothing, ask a few more questions: Does it fit? When did I last wear it? Hopefully the answers to these questions will help you decide to let go of many items. The truth is, we don't need most of it, and if it just becomes lost in a sea of other stuff, we won't use it anyway. As William Morris said, "Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." Some of these questions are deal breakers. If an item is broken, why are you holding on to it? If you NEVER use something, do not keep it. If you don't love it, and you don't need it, get rid of it! And while it has become much easier for me to get rid of things in the last ten years or so, I totally get sentimentality for items. Still, the reality is that you will be so much happier without having to manage another thing, no matter how sentimental it is to you. That said, if you have something you just can't let go of for sentimental reasons, go ahead and keep it for a while. You can come back to it later to see if your feelings have changed and if you are finally ready to let it go. If you are worried about getting rid of something that you might need later, consider the cost of storing it indefinitely vs. the cost of replacing it if you do end up needing it. If it can be replaced for a few dollars, it is not worth keeping. If you have been storing something and have been waiting for some opportunity to use it and that opportunity has not come yet, get rid of it. For me, this is often random things I've collected thinking that I will make some craft out of them. If I don't have a clear idea of what I will make, I should just get rid of it. I recommend that you have three boxes, bins, or bags ready while you are sorting through and evaluating your items. Or just make three piles...whatever works for you! 1. Trash 2. Donate 3. Keep Keep at it until you've sorted through everything, or until your time runs out. 17

18 Hopefully, your trash and donation piles will be much bigger than your keep pile! And hopefully, your space will also be free of unnecessary clutter. Next, we will talk about how to deal with the items in your "keep" pile that do not yet have a home. Assignment: Clear the clutter out of your chosen problem area. Put away the items that already have a designated place. Sort the remaining items into trash, donate, and keep piles. Enjoy your clutter-free area! 18

19 Chapter 6: A Place for Everything Now that you've gotten rid of some of the clutter, it's time to deal with everything you put into your "keep" pile. This pile should consist of the items you need, use, and/or love. Now, you're going to find a permanent place for everything. And I do mean everything. If you don't designate a place, that item will quickly become clutter again. Here are three steps for making a place for everything: 1. Decide where the most logical home is for each item. Ask yourself the following questions: Where do I use this item most? How often do I use it? Do I use other items along with it? Where would be the most convenient place for this item to live? Ideally, things should live in the same area where they are most often used. I'm not going to store my pots and pans in my bedroom, because I need them in the kitchen! If I did store them in the bedroom, they would probably not be in their designated spot very often because it would be too annoying (and I would be too lazy!) to constantly put them back in such an illogical location. If it is an item that isn't used very often, it's okay not to store it where you most use it if you don't have space for it there. Beware that you might forget about it completely, though! I've certainly done that plenty of times. Once you've decided the general area in which your item should be kept Use what you already have. Is there an existing space that could hold this item? (Bookshelf, cupboard, drawer, bin, jar, bucket, basket, hook, etc.) Sometimes the fact that there is not already some 19

20 sort of good storage place for things is our biggest hindrance to finding homes for them. Be creative with what you already have. As much as I would love to run out and buy some wonderful new furniture or cute organizing bins, the point is to just get stuff organized and stored properly for now. We can make it look amazing later. Plus, we don't want to bring in more clutter to store the clutter! Think about what kinds of bins and buckets and shelves you already have that might be used to store your items. If you really don't have anything (which I highly doubt!), a walk through your local Goodwill can often yield some really good results. Obviously places like IKEA, The Container Store, and even Target will also have storage solutions you might like. For instance, I've had some plastic bins for about 9 years. I used to use them to store food in my pantry in my former house. My current house has a teeny tiny pantry, though, and using the bins to organize it was no longer helpful because they didn't fit. I've found another good use for them, though. I used to have a huge problem with all the crayons and markers and scissors. Once their original cardboard boxes died (which is pretty much immediately), they had no real home. I started throwing them in a drawer, but pretty soon it was completely overtaken and we started using another drawer! I finally dug out my old pantry bins, slapped labels on them, and sorted through the mess. And guess what? They stay where they are supposed to, for the most part. Occasionally there are stray markers and crayons that didn't get put away, but I've been impressed with the girls for mostly putting them back after they use them. Behold the power of A Place for Everything, and Everything in its Place Kids actually put stuff back. Which brings me to the next point 3. Label it! While I admit that I am a crazy label making fool half of the time, it is SO important to label things. How else will your kids know where things go? How else will you know where things go? I adore my label maker. Mostly because it just plugs into my computer and I can have access to all of the million and one fonts I have there. It makes labeling just a 20

21 little more fun. (To see my favorite label maker, click here: Dymo Plug N Play Label Maker.) As much as I adore my label maker and I really adore my label maker you don t actually need one to make labels. I often use my computer my own handwriting, too. As long as things are labeled, it doesn't matter how you do it. Just get a label on it I promise that you'll be really glad you did. The only warning I'd give with labels, is to really try to use a paper or sticker label. I used to just write directly on bins and other storage containers with a Sharpie, and as my storage needs changed (which they almost always do!), I always regretted doing that. Assignment: Choose the most logical place for your items to live Find a good storage space for them Be creative and use what you have Label everything Have fun! 21

22 Chapter 7: Everything in Its Place You ve been focusing on giving everything in your home a place to live. In the process, I am sure that you have learned that the biggest battle for keeping clutter from taking over is not just having a place for everything, but actually putting everything in its place. I know this is obvious. But it's also the hardest part. When I walk in the door to my house, I have a terrible habit of setting my keys down on the first flat surface I stop at. Sometimes this is the bookshelf, sometimes it's the radiator, sometimes it s the dining table, and still other times it s the kitchen counter. Then there are the times I throw them in my purse instead of setting them down! Unfortunately, my husband has the same habit of setting them down in a random place instead of putting them back where they belong. Consequently, we can never find the keys. My children get a huge kick out of watching us frantically look for the car keys, only to find them hanging on their designated hook in the kitchen. They think it is hilarious that we never look there first! I don't think it's funny at all it's downright sad! I have a spot for the keys. It's in a practical place. The kitchen is, after all, the hub of the household. We usually do walk into the kitchen first after arriving home. So why do I only put my keys on the hook 1 out of 10 times? Pure laziness, that s why. That's what I always tell myself, anyway. But that's not actually the truth, so I should stop calling myself names! The reason I never put my keys on the hook is because I have not made it a HABIT to do so. For the next few days, I'm challenging myself to ALWAYS put my keys back where they belong. Once I am doing really well with that, I will move on to my purse- - another item I spend a lot of time searching for that also has a designated spot. 22

23 Other things I can never find: Library books Rental DVDs My purse My phone My gloves My camera Things the kids can never find: Their shoes Their hoodies Library books Homework folders Electronic devices Their money Music books Assignment: Which items are never in their proper places? Why? Change the place to something more practical, if necessary. Choose an item and focus this week on always putting it back where it belongs. 23

24 Chapter 8: Get That Clutter Out of the House! Now it s time to deal with those other two piles you made. Hopefully, you ve had no problem throwing away the trash, so we are going to talk about that pile of things to donate. You know, the box of stuff that is probably still sitting in your garage or basement, waiting for you to actually do something with it. I know from experience that much of it has a way of creeping back into your life if you don't move it out quickly. More than once I have found things that I know I put in the donation box under my daughter s pillow or in her closet. So let s get that stuff out of your house and out of your life for good. But how? Here are several possibilities: Give it away I often save a few things for friends. I have three daughters, which means I have bins and bins full of clothes for little girls in my basement. At one point, I thought we would have a fourth child, so I never got rid of my youngest daughter s clothes when she outgrew them. Sadly, another baby wasn't to be, and by the time she was 8 years old I had way too many clothes that I didn't want to keep. I started actively giving away her clothes when she was 6 years old, but there were still all of those 5 and under bins sitting in the basement. To make a long story short, I was able to give most of those 5 and under clothes away between two of my friends who have girls that are younger than mine. It feels good to help someone out I know I always appreciated hand- me- downs, even if I couldn't use all of them. If I have an item that I no longer want and that I think a friend of mine can use, I always offer it to them first. 24

25 Have a garage sale No thank you. I know some people love doing this and the thought of making some good money off of your clutter is an attractive one. But I have had garage sales in my life, and I have decided it is just not worth it to me. I don't want to have to declutter and then sort, price, and set it out. I don't want to have to advertise. I don't want to have to sit there all day haggling with customers. I don't want to clean it all up when it's over. I just want to be rid of my stuff, and I don't care too much if I am able to recoup the costs. All of the work involved in a garage sale is not worth the little bit of money I would make. I have added my items to neighborhood garage sales here and there, but I'm not going to save it all waiting for one to come around. That said, if a garage sale is something that you enjoy planning and preparing for, have at it! It is definitely nice to get back a little bit of money for your clutter. Sell it on ebay or elsewhere online See above about garage sales. Call me lazy, but I do not want to go through all the work of photographing and listing and dealing with bids and buyers. I just want my stuff gone. Again, if this is something you want to try, go for it. I m afraid that it will make it harder to get things out of your home due to the nature of internet sales. But if you can be disciplined and not allow it to take over your life again, there s no harm in trying to sell it online. Organize a swap Our church does this from time to time, and I usually am able to gather a box or two to add to the mix. The idea is that everyone brings the stuff they no longer want to the church, and people can come and take any of it that they would like. You, of course, can also take anything that you want from among the things that others brought. (But think carefully about this! Only take it if you know you love it and will use it! Don't create more clutter!) Anything not taken by the end date, is taken to Goodwill. Again, there is extra work involved in this, but I do like the idea of helping others out in this way. I just need to learn to leave my kids home for these things, because they 25

26 always want to bring home random stuff. My teenager brought home a huge oil painting last time, and it s just leaning against the wall in her room. I am not a fan! Consign it One of my favorite ways to get rid of things is to consign it. We have a great local consignment shop that takes almost anything, and will donate anything that doesn't sell after a certain period. This means that all I have to do is drop it off and they will take it from there. I only get paid for what sells, but I really don't care too much about the money. I just want the stuff out of my house! Other consignment stores will pay you up front for the items they deem worthy to sell in their store. Still others will accept certain items, but you will not get paid until they sell. If they do not sell after a certain time period, then you are required to come pick them up. Since I am constantly decluttering little things here and there (mostly clothing), I have a box ready for consignment every other month or so. I tend to earn about 25 dollars a box, which I can either cash out or use for store credit. I have done both. Because my consignment store is so easy to work with, this has been a great option for me. But if it had stricter rules, I might not bother. Donate it Sometimes the best thing is to just drive your box o' clutter over to the Goodwill or another local thrift store and donate it. You can get a receipt for a tax write- off, which is nice, but the important thing is that you got all of that stuff out of your life. Throw it away I m just making sure you really threw your garbage pile away. But it s also good to remember that some things really are just garbage. I feel sorry for workers at Goodwill who have to go through things that are just not worth trying to sell. Be honest about your stuff, and if nobody is going to want it, just throw it out. 26

27 Chapter 9: Keep the Clutter Out! Once you have finished your first problem area, move on to the next and go through the same steps. Now that the clutter is gone (or at least going), what are we going to do to make sure it does not come back in? That is the big question. It's all great and good to get rid of stuff, but if you turn around and go shopping for more stuff, you're just going to find yourself drowning in clutter again. Don't let that happen! Let's embrace our new, simpler life and all of the peace that comes along with it. Here are four things you can do to ensure that the clutter stays out and the peace stays in: 1. Don't buy anything unless you know where you will put it Also, don't buy anything you don't either absolutely love or absolutely need. I am trying hard to ask myself exactly what I will do with an item once I get it home. I tend to buy things I really love, but then I don't have a good plan for them. Those things inevitably get lost in the shuffle and contribute to the clutter problem, plus I never actually enjoy them. I'm trying to remember that I don't need every cute thing I see, and that I am probably happier without it, anyway. 2. Try to follow the "one in, one out" rule This is hard for me, and I rebel against it all the time, but it is solid advice. I personally don't think it has to be like item for like item. So you could buy a pair of shoes and still be allowed to keep the rest of your shoes. Instead, you could get rid of that vase in the kitchen cupboard that you have never used. This way, if you absolutely must buy something new, you can rest assured that the clutter problem will not grow because of it. 27

28 3. Downsize your gift giving Birthdays and Christmas are big, fat, clutter- making holidays. As much fun as opening all the gifts is, I watch way too many of those gifts gather dust as the girls forget about them entirely in favor of the gifts they liked best. In the past few years, I have downsized the gifts I give at Christmas considerably. Now, each of my children only gets four gifts. (You can read more about that here: Christmas List Printable.) Giving less not only saves clutter, it also saves money and time shopping. Plus, I find that it has helped my children to be more grateful for the gifts they do receive. 4. Consider gifting experiences, instead of things A couple of Christmases ago, I gave my husband a spring break trip to Chicago instead of another shirt or gadget he didn't really want or need. I surprised him with tickets to The Chicago Symphony and a hotel stay, and we had a blast together when that trip rolled around. We looked forward to it for three months and it felt like Christmas lasted a little longer. I remember that trip with great fondness, but you know what? I have absolutely no idea what he gave me for Christmas that year. Memories last longer than stuff. It doesn't have to be vacations, either. You can gift art classes, zoo passes, museum memberships, or a day at the beach. I even gave coupons to my girls in their stockings last year with things like "a day of no chores" or "a date with Mom and Dad" on them and they were a huge hit. And most of them have been used up this year, too! This year, we're taking the whole family to Hawaii the week after Christmas. That is our gift. The girls have already been warned that there won't be much under the tree at all, and they are totally fine with that. I feel like I've come a long way when it comes to not bringing more clutter in. But, I could still be better! Certain things still get me, and I have to really be strong to say no to the purchase! Don t let all your hard work be for naught. Think very hard before you bring a new piece of clutter into your home. It s not easy to change our behaviors, but if we don t do it we will just find ourselves back where we started. Since my big decluttering project, I have honestly found it easier to say no to things at the store. I get rid of things more easily. We give our children less stuff and more experiences, and things are definitely a lot more peaceful around here. 28

29 Chapter 10: Declutter Your Schedule Guess what? Even if you have managed to get every space in your home completely decluttered and organized there is still more work to be done. Some of the worst clutter I have dealt with in my life is not physical clutter. In fact, the mental and spiritual clutter I deal with regularly is more of a thief to my peace than the physical clutter is! The biggest culprit of this type of clutter is schedule clutter. I am probably the last person who has the right to tell anyone how to declutter their schedule. I run a blog titled Overstuffed because my own schedule is bursting at the seams. This over extending of myself is something I have struggled with for a very long time. However, at the ripe old age of 40, I am starting to be better about this. My schedule is still overstuffed, but it could be so much worse. I'm finally growing up! That isn't to say I'm perfect at this yet. Just better. The past two weekends, for instance, I spent a lot of time helping a college student make his Halloween costume as a favor. I didn't mind helping him, but it took a huge chunk out of my life that should have been used for other things like maybe making my own children's Halloween costumes! The problem is that I said yes to him back in August, thinking it wouldn't be a big deal. I should have been a bit more forward thinking and realized that October is always crazy for me. I barely manage to get my own children's costumes put together, and there is always a lot going on with my family and work commitments. Which brings me to the most effective way to declutter your schedule 1. Learn to say no. You don't have to be rude about it. It doesn't have to be a confrontation. You just have to say it. I always feel terrible when I have to say no to someone. Just terrible. Which is silly, because I really can't do everything I am asked to do, and I shouldn't feel like I have to. But I have tended to take on lots of extra stuff in my life (like making someone's Halloween costume) because I am scared of two letters. N. O. 29

30 And even though I obviously didn't do so well with the Halloween costume thing, I am better at saying no now than I have ever been before. If you'd like to read my best tips on saying no and not feeling bad about it, click here: How to Say No Graciously. 2. Figure out what you waste the most time doing, then stop it. Hands down, I waste the most time on Facebook. It is so easy to sit down at the computer to pay bills or something and say to myself, "I'm just going to quickly check Facebook before I get down to business." And then, boom! An hour (or more) has passed and I have not paid one bill. But I have read several fascinating articles, taken a stupid BuzzFeed quiz, and watched a viral video. I have also commented on several friends' statuses and checked out what's happening in several of the too many Facebook groups I belong to. It takes a lot of time to waste time on Facebook! Sheesh! And while I can trick myself into thinking I am being productive (learning new things, connecting with friends, promoting my blog), for the most part I am being the exact opposite of productive. Of course, when I finally do actually get down to business, the little ding on Facebook distracts me. I have no self control in the Facebook ding department, so I have to go see what is going on. I recently took the app off of my phone, and that has made a huge difference in keeping me focused on what I should be doing. And I'm doing better at shutting down the Facebook tab while I am doing other things so I can stay on task. I still waste too much time there, though, and I think I need to start setting some sort of limitations on myself. Fifteen minutes and that's it, or something. I'm still working it out. There are other ways in which I waste my time, of course. And I need to be better about those things, too. But just putting limits on Facebook has given me a lot of extra time by itself. 3. Get rid of unnecessary obligations. I have made obligations that I really don't need to have made. Some of them I am stuck with, but I have been able to graciously get out of others. 30

31 For instance, I took an extra job with my department a couple of years ago. It only required about 7-10 hours a week, but I found that it was killing me. Last semester, as I was singing the lead in an opera, teaching 24 students, AND working this little 7 hour a week job, I realized that I simply couldn't sustain that any longer. Don t forget that I also have three busy children and a household to run. I was staying up way too late at night trying to finish things for this job and it was just too much. So, I quit. I first worked on getting my blog to an income level where I could justify quitting that job, and once I achieved that, I quit. Now I may stay up way too late at night blogging, but it is something I find enjoyable. It is something I was already doing when I had the other job, so I have essentially found 10 hours a week in my schedule. If I don't waste all that new found time on Facebook, I can get a lot of great things done in my life! 4. Take time for yourself. This may seem like a strange way to declutter your schedule, but if you ADD into your schedule time to take care of your own soul, it will make it easier to do the rest. And if you don't add that time into your schedule, it will quickly be filled with other things. Just the same way our house manages to fill itself with stuff when we aren't taking time to actively organize and declutter, our schedule will fill with stuff without our even realizing it. You must schedule in time for yourself. Time for your family. Time with friends. All of that is extremely important. And honestly? I have said no too many times to family, to friends, and to myself because I had committed to something that was much less important in the long run. Say yes to what matters, and remember that YOU matter. Assignment: Get out your schedule for the next month. Is there anything on it that you can let go? If so, let it go. Now, schedule some time in for yourself (reading time, shopping time, whatever fills you up!) 31

32 Schedule at least one date night with your spouse or significant other. Schedule at least one family day with your entire family. Figure out what you waste the most time doing. Make a plan to stop yourself from wasting that time. 32

33 Chapter 11: Peace Takes Work It s been a year since I really cleaned out my life. Overall, things are still much more clear and peaceful, but I see how things start creeping back in. Decluttering is never just a once and done sort of thing you have to keep up with it regularly to reap the benefits it brings. Once you have gone through your entire list of problem areas, you can make a new list of new problems (because they will be there!) or you can go back to the beginning and reevaluate your original problem areas. Some of these areas take several good declutter and organizational overhauls before they are finally working for you instead of against you. My office is a space like that. I have lived in this home for six years and I am pretty sure I have done major rearrangements and reorganizations in this room at least eight times. The last time I did it, I finally gave up some of the things I had been holding onto that I wasn t willing to give up the first seven times. Something about finally letting those items go has made a huge difference in my life. The room is no longer the disaster magnet that it once was and I am amazed! I finally recognize that if I choose to pick up that particular hobby again, I can easily go to the store and buy more supplies. That actually costs much less than trying to manage the bins full of stuff that I was dealing with before. I don t even miss those things one bit. And now I finally have the peace I have so longed for every time I walked into that room and saw the disaster it had become. Now it is a peaceful place for me to be. But it won t stay that way forever because nothing ever does. I must be willing to go through my office and every other room in the house on a regular basis to keep the clutter at bay. The wonderful thing is that the more you do it, the easier it is. Because you aren t letting things get out of hand the job is quicker. And, most of all, because you are willing to let the stuff go and the peace come in, the job doesn t hurt quite so much as it might have in the beginning. Peace is worth the work. Keep up the good work! 33