The 10 Biggest Mistakes

Transcription

1 The 10 Biggest Mistakes Start-up Mediators Make The Blackford Centre

2 The Blackford Centre 10 Biggest Mistakes Page 2

3 Contents 1. Not trying new ideas Not putting in the time Not understanding both sides Placing blame Thinking that settlements equal success Not encouraging communication Allowing premature negotiations Not understanding personal strengths and weaknesses Not managing expectations Being afraid to make mistakes Biggest Mistakes Page 3

4 1. Not trying new ideas i It does not matter what the disagreements or grievances are, the vast majority of clients would rather settle the matter out of court. However, just because they don t want to go to court does not mean they will readily come to an agreement. Reaching a settlement often requires creativity and the ability to try new ideas. Because no two cases are ever the same, neither should the methods you use to reach a resolution. This might be hard at first if you do not have confidence. Believing in your ideas means believing in yourself. 2. Not putting in the time t While litigation is associated with long waits, mediation often has a quick resolution. In many cases mediations can reach a settlement in a matter of hours, though there are many cases which prove otherwise. As a mediator you must always be willing to accept a lengthy mediation process. It can take a great deal of hard work to appease both parties and find an accepted middle-ground. You should embrace the process and never try to speed it up for your own benefit. Work until you reach a complete resolution or a complete impasse. 3. Not understanding both sides The beginning of the mediation process is your chance to understand the character of each side. This allows you to act and communicate in the most appropriate manner and adapt your approach accordingly. Depending on the parties involved, some cases will require a lot of patience and a highly tactful approach, while others will require confidence and authority. A successful approach in one case may prove to be a disaster in another, so make sure you know who you are dealing with and take a suitable approach. 4. Placing blame b As a start-up mediator, you may assume that because you have been hired by one client and not by the other party, it is your job to defend your client and act only in their best interests. 10 Biggest Mistakes Page 4

5 This goes against the philosophy of mediation. Mediation is based on the principles of neutrality and flexibility; not on placing blame, trying to find fault, exploiting positions or making restrictions. You must always maintain a neutral stance, no matter who hires you. 5. Thinking that settlements ts equal successs It is a big mistake to be influenced by the settlement amount. Many mediators fall prey to the allure of the number and end up placing too much emphasis in the settlement - usually out of self-interest and so they can take credit for their success afterwards. It is not your job to push clients towards a predefined settlement number. It is instead your job to help the parties find a settlement that they are both satisfied with. It is the happiness of the parties that judges whether the mediation has been a success or not. 6. Not encouraging communicationc Mediation is effective because it allows hostile parties to communicate. People can get things off their chest and vent their anger and frustration. Everyone is allowed to discuss their side of the story. Without effective communication, the real issues of the dispute may remain hidden. A common mistake for a start-up mediator is to stifle the communications process, placing too much emphasis on themselves or acting too aggressively. Successful cases rely upon extensive communication. 7. Allowing premature negotiations n A big mistake that many start-up mediators make is to allow the involved parties to come to a premature settlement. Such mediators may justify that any settlement, gained at whatever point in the process, automatically means a successful mediation. This is not the case. As a mediator it s your job to encourage and facilitate constructive arguments. The mediation process should always focus on the wellbeing of the parties, and this can only be assured when everyone is allowed to vent their frustrations and eventually come to a middle-ground. Premature settlements have a negative impact on this. 10 Biggest Mistakes Page 5

6 8. Not understanding personal strengths s and weaknesses Understanding your own personal strengths is very important within mediation. The majority of successful mediators only deal with specific types of case, working on cases where their abilities, experience and communication skills are well-aligned. A big part of this issue is the connection between you and your clients. While every client is different, the circumstances surrounding certain types of case lead to a fairly predefined set of behaviours. If you understand these specific behaviours and are able to change your communication style accordingly, you will be in a good position to manage a successful mediation. 9. Not managing expectations The role of a mediator is one of reality and neutrality. This is important for the effective management and reconciliation of contrasting viewpoints, priorities, interests and expectations. But this is difficult to achieve if you do not make your position crystal clear from the outset. If you make unrealistic promises or try to sell your position as a winning mediator, you will find it harder to manage unrealistic expectations. If however you make clear the reality of the process, your clients will be easier to manage and the case easier to reconcile. 10. Being afraid to make mistakes Any good mediator will have acquired the knowledge to prevent them from making big mistakes. But some mediators are so scared to make mistakes that it hinders the mediation progress. You should focus on the needs of the client and not let the fear of a failed mediation get in the way of doing your job properly, or stop you from coming up with new ideas and using new tools and techniques. Don t try to be perfect; when mediation does fail, don t assume that it is your fault, or it will negatively affect you. Thinking of becoming a mediator? The best way to achieve that is with The Blackford Centre s Diploma course: courses 10 Biggest Mistakes Page 6