Episode 9 with Guest Sally Hogshead

Transcription

1 Episode 9 with Guest Sally Hogshead Welcome to episode number 9 of Boost Your Sales and Lifestyle. I'm your host, Lisa Sasevich, the queen of sales conversion and the founder of the Sales Authenticity and Success Mastermind. On today's show, we'll be talking with the incredible Sally Hogshead and learning what makes you fascinating and how can you become your best self so that you can boost your sales and lifestyle, and especially, we're going to look at it in the context of this season's theme, How to Sell to Women - Proven ways to honor them, serve them, and inspire them to say yes. Even my guest on the show has been selected like Sally because they've made millions by knowing how to honor and serve women clients at the highest level. Let me tell you a little bit about Sally Hogshead. She is a number one Wall Street Journal, best-selling author and Hall of Fame speaker. You already know how you see the world, but do you know how the world sees you? Sally Hogshead is the best-selling author of How the World Sees You: Discover Your Highest Value Through the Science of Fascination. She began her branding career as one of advertising's most highly awarded copywriters. Since then, she's measured the communication traits of over 600,000 people. Sally has generously agreed to join me on the show and share a gift of how you can learn how to be a successful entrepreneur by knowing what makes you fascinating. Make sure that you head on over to BoostYourSalesShow.com/nine to grab the show notes, the transcript, and a special gift from Sally, a free code so that you can take her world-renowned Fascination Advantage assessment. I took this assessment in the last couple of years and it totally opened my world to how I can be my best self and really become more of who I already am. I'm excited for you to take it too. Speaker 2: Welcome to the Boost Your Sales and Lifestyle Show with Lisa Sasevich, the queen of sales conversion. Lisa teaches experts who are making a difference how to get their message out and enjoy massive results without being salesy. Lisa is here to lift you up, show you a new perspective and open your world to what's possible for you, helping way more people, making way more money, and making the difference you were born to make. Hi Sally, we're thrilled to have you with us today. Lisa, I'm so happy to be here. I'm such a fan of what you do and I love being able to be in touch with your community. 1

2 My community loves you. In fact, it wasn't that long ago when you were launching your bestseller that we had you speak to one of our retreats for our Sales Authenticity and Success Mastermind and I have to tell you, I mean, what we learned from you that day is still a very strong core of learning on our camp, so I am so excited for everybody listening to our show today to be able to get a piece of that. Let's start out with them. Yeah. I just want people to get to know you, how awesome you are. I mean, we are colleagues and girlfriends, so I have that advantage. Tell us something sassy about you. It could be a lesson learned, maybe a turning point or an accomplishment. What do you want us to know? I'd like to share a story with you that I don't normally talk about. When I was 27, I opened up an advertising agency in Los Angeles and I absolutely loved it. As a woman entrepreneur, I loved being able to feel fully immersed and selfexpressed in my work. We have clients like Target and Rémy Martin. Then I got this amazing job offering. It was kind of my dream job. It was the job that if I were going to pinpoint exactly where I would want to go at that point in my career, this was it. I was opening up the West Coast office of a major national ad agency that at that time was launching the Mini Cooper in the United States. I left my job, I closed the doors, I had to lay-off many employees, and I opened up this new office. It was really sexy. The first day we had magazine covers and all kinds of press and media, but opening day was September 10th of You know the day that came next. Yeah. There it was September 11th of It was such a horrible time for everybody. I felt my maternal instinct to protect my team, my community, and protect this new office that I was starting and it was over the course of the next couple of years that I learned some of the hardest lessons of my career when I really had to take a stand and choose how to lead. Not just be an entrepreneur but really be a leader and have a distinct point of view because it was so easy to just assume we were going to go out of business, and everybody would be jobless. It's such a horrible time in our economy. We slowly gradually added business. It was almost an all-female team. To my joy, I got pregnant. I was pregnant with twin girls. About 14 weeks into my pregnancy, I was laid off and I was the sole breadwinner of my family. I was out of work, post 9/11, pregnant with twins, and then I was put on bed rest. That was the most devastating time of my entire life. I was so deeply depressed, and then I lost one of the babies. They say God never gives you more than you can handle, but I'm listening to this story and I'm starting to question it. 2

3 Yeah. Out of that, here's the great gift that I got out of it. This is where I had to tap in to my inner sassy. There I was on best rest and they were telling me that I was probably going to lose the other baby so I had to be really quiet. I just had to lay there and it was during that time that I started to collect the wisdom that I had that over those 2 years, those difficult 2 years of being an entrepreneur and being a leader. I started to write them down. Then I formulated them into a book. By the time the book was about ready to go off to a publisher, I could feel the baby kicking. When she would kick, then I knew she was healthy, but like my laptop would fall off my belly. Shortly after my daughter was born, my book was complete and it was such a perfect circle, such a perfect process because I was birthing my future career as an author and it was out of that time that there was something I wrote in this book, my first book, with expressing your truest self is the ultimate competitive advantage. In other words, when you are being the most you and you clearly identified and articulated who you are at your best, it becomes much easier for other people to see that and that's how we grow our businesses as entrepreneurs and as anybody who wants to really stand out and make a difference with their message. That was the moment where I had to apply... Even though you and I hadn't met yet, that was when I had to apply so many of the things that I have since re-learned with you. Wow. Thank you for sharing that. It's so many turning points altogether that it's one of those kinds of stories where you could make so many different teaching points because it taught you so much. I think that really what's rising up out of this is what really fueled you into your amazing work that's touching people all over the world about being your unique you and that in the face of all of that, what I hear you saying is there's just nothing that's going to pull you up, obviously in conjunction with your trusted source, than really being and knowing and counting on who you are. For people who don't know about the unique transformation that you and your company offer, would love to tie that in just to kind of complete that circle and where that took you... [crosstalk 00:09:11].... and how many people you've been able to help because of it. It's like that was the lab. I always think of the work I did before this as a lab. I didn't know it was the lab. I just thought it was my life, it was. Right. Everything I did led to this work. Often I wonder, what if this is the laboratory that I can't see yet? There's a question for everybody listening. Even if you're like 3

4 totally where you want to be and life is rocking, it's like, what if this is the labpratory that you can't even see yet? I'm always curious about that. You and I had a great conversation when we were on mountain bikes when we were in Colorado and we were some other wonderful entrepreneurs. I said to you, what does that year look like ahead for you? You said, "I'm creating space in my life for new things to come in." It's so subliminal to watch you kick [inaudible 00:10:04]. That about 2 years ago, and to see this trajectory of what you're doing. Back to your laboratory analogy that at that time, you knew that there was going to be a big break for you and you were okay with not knowing exactly what that was, and it has shown up for you. It's true. Where my... It's so cool to have a witness. In fact, Sandra [inaudible 00:10:28] was with us on that trip and I just interviewed her a couple of shows ago, for everybody listening if you haven't heard the interview with Sandra, you know now, that'll even make more sense now that you hear Sally and I. I think that there's something that we're all providing for each other and really every single person being here is just a witness to each others growth and development and using our lessons to take each other as far as we can. Tell us what that lab has kind of sprouted into, because the theme is how to sell to women, and we have women and men listening. When I thought of this as the theme for this season, it was like you were the first person on my mind. It was like, "Wow, Sally could shed so much light with her research and her fascinating work." Thank you. Out of that lab, the trials that I was describing back in fact from 9/11, what came out of that was an understanding, drawing upon my advertising background that we as individuals often don't know how other see us at our best. In other words, there are certain ways that you are most likely to contribute to other people, ways in which you are most likely to have people listen to you, remember you, buy from you, respect you, engage with you, fall in love with you, champion for you, evangelize around you. If you don't know what those are and you don't know how to articulate it, then who you are at your best can't really rise to your ultimate potential. An example of that is, it doesn't matter if you have the best message or the best product, if nobody notices or cares, and in any type of crowded, distracted environment, it's crucial for you to understand how people see your at your best so that you can be seen as intensely valuable. I began researching this about a decade ago. I knew from my background branding experience helping companies like Nike, BMW, Mini Cooper, helping them understand how the world sees them at their best, I just started drawing parallels to us as individuals in our own communication. I began to find the patterns. Slowly, I've built an algorithm that could describe this. I'm not a researcher at heart, I'm a creative professional at heart, but because I was able 4

5 to draw upon the principles of market research and world-class brand standards, I was able to apply those best practices and I found that we can measure how people see you. Just like we can measure how a consumer sees Coca-Cola, we can measure how your prospect or client sees you at your best. This grew and grew from a hundred people to a thousand people, and so now we've measured 600,000 people. We measure and track it very, very carefully. We have found very interesting patterns behind the high performers of how women want to communicate, how they want to be communicated to. The key of what we found is there's no one style of communication that's better than another. There's no one right way to sell. There is no one personality that's more likely to close the sale. Instead, it's really a function of understanding your specialty. In other words, being able to identify those traits that make you most compelling. As I would say, most fascinating so that your prospect is more likely to listen to you and remember you and take action. I'll pause there because I get so excited when I talk to you Lisa that I'll go on, but I want to make sure that we're guiding this for our listeners. Yeah. I love what you're saying and it's exactly where we want to go. We're talking about... I want to hear all of it. Then in the sort of the rails of our season, you're heading exactly down the right track with how can we be remembered by our listener and what have you found especially when we're looking to attract and serve and inspire women clients, so yes, keep going Sally. Women are, as a whole, they... We all know that women communicate differently than men in subtle and sometimes surprising ways. One of the things that we found is the women is very important that the person that they're talking to whether it's somebody selling a product or even their best friend, they're looking for authenticity, but what does that really mean? We use the word authenticity a lot. Here's what we found that it means in our studies. Say if I'm in a position where I want to enroll somebody in my course or a product, when I'm confident, I'm in the flow, and physiologically what happens with our body is when we're sharing an opportunity in an authentic way, we produce more saliva. Our voices sound what linguists call wetter, but what I'll say is you sound more relaxed because you don't have a blast of epinephrine pulling the saliva from your mouth and making your voice sound teeny. If you can go into a sales situation and feel totally confident and in the flow, then you're far more likely to engage with that woman sitting on the other side of the table or with a perspective client or customer. Here's what that means. If you know the reasons why a woman is most likely to listen to you and remember you, then you can focus and hone in on those traits. You can stop trying to be all things to all people. Instead, you have specific go-to ways that allow you to feel more confident. 5

6 I'll give you an example. If I'm in a situation which I have an opportunity to work with somebody and I want to make sure that we start the relationship off not only with authenticity but honoring how this can invite somebody into an opportunity they otherwise wouldn't have, I know that the way in which I'm going to do that is not through being hyper-detailed and it's not through being organized and practical or judicious. It's not that it can't be that, but it's not going to be that authentic for me. I tend to want to interact with people in ways that are going to be emotional and energizing and out-of-the-box. I want to be the cheerleader. I want to be the one who's dynamic and engaging and inclusive, because those are the traits that are most authentic for me. When I'm constructing how I'm going to build this conversation or presentation or pitch, I know that I have to make sure that I build that in because without that, I'm not going to be authentic. I am going to be stressed, she's going to be stressed, and we're very unlikely to have an interaction that's just positive at it would otherwise be. Once you know how the world sees you at your best, you can start to anticipate what that process of communication looks like so that you... Say if you're creating slides for example, I would not use a lot to data in my slides, I would not have a bunch of bullet points. I wouldn't necessarily have linear outcomes to specific things, but for some people, that would be exactly what they should have in their because that's how they're going to communicate most effectively. In measuring the science of fascination, what we found is we can't predict how you're most likely to sell effectively and... Sally, you're muffled just a little. I don't know if your mouthpiece got away from you. I'm hanging on every word. [inaudible 00:18:07]. There it is. There you. Here I am. Perfect. What you said about like I would not use a lot of detail, I love that you came in and clarified. That's because of your particular what makes you fascinating, whereas somebody else... Exactly. Just an example of somebody that might use a lot of details. Maybe they've got a room full of women that they're speaking to, and usually we have so much focus on the audience and you're bringing in a whole different angle here to say, "Yes, that's important but you also really have to take into account what makes you fascinating." 6

7 Beautifully said. That's what I'm hearing. Is that right? Yes. What we found, and we've measured over 100,000 entrepreneurs and about 70% of those are women. What we found among the high performers is those high performers have a specific communication specialty. In other words, they are delivering a specific benefit. If they're detail-oriented, they're really detail-oriented. If they're good listeners, they're really good listeners. If they're consistent, they're really consistent, and so on. We have found that when it comes to people buying from you or hiring you, they're not hiring you because you're balanced. They're hiring you because you're extraordinary in some way. Here's an example of somebody who would communicate very differently than I would. The alert personality, in other words, people who have a primary alert advantage, come in to a situation. They're very problem-prevention focused, so they would have meticulous [AV 00:19:45] or they would already have done extensive background research on their audience and they would deliver everything in a very linear, logical, numbered way. They wouldn't be super emotive when they're speaking, but people would be fascinated because they're giving a detailed deep-dive on the content. If you and I were to compare our speaking styles, one is not better than the other. Yeah, [crosstalk 00:20:11]. Lisa, one of the things that I have admired about the way that you communicate whether you're on stage or we're just having a glass of wine, that you are great about establishing a specific goal and showing how that goal is going to create tremendous change. It always makes me feel excited to push myself to the next level and grow my business more quickly because you have developed ways to not only identify the goal but see how to reach that goal. That's because you have primary prestige advantage. That means you excel with higher standards. You are respected. You have a healthy competitive streak and you're resultsoriented. When you talk to an audience, you're very grounded on helping them understand what that next level looks like so they can literally see it in their heads. I've watched audiences, they salivate when they're watching you help them see what does it look like for you to achieve excellence in your own life. You and I would communicate differently, but you are going to be effective in ways that are different. If it told you to communicate like me as the engaging out of the box social personality, that would feel inauthentic for you, wouldn't it? You know, I'm just having a huge breakthrough as I listen to you right here on the call. I'm suspecting that a lot of folks listening are too. I was just being coached 7

8 by someone on a little 10-minute presentation that I'm giving in a really important audience coming up. She's really more of a coach on presentation skills, and all of our coaching is really around sales conversion and giving people what they need to say yes. We both are teaching what to do on the stage but in totally different ways. I don't teach presentation skills at all. It's so interesting. I'm just having this huge realization because she is probably much more, I don't know where she would fit. In fact, we're going to give everybody that link again so they can all... You guys are all going to find out all the stuff about yourself. You're going to take Sally's Fascination Advantage. It's her assessment. I mentioned it earlier, but I'm sure now it's meaning a lot more. You go to BoostYourSalesShow.com/nine and you'll get the show notes, the transcript. I know we're moving fast to get Sally's free gift which is incredible. She'll give you a code. You'll see it right there at BoostYourSalesShow.com/nine. She'll give you a code to enter and it'll wave the fee and you can take the Fascination Advantage which is really the first marketing-based personality assessment. The thing that we're really basing our whole conversation on. Really with just 28 questions, you're going to see how people perceive you. I was talking, being coached by someone that I'm sure was completely in a different box, very detail-oriented, and she was telling me all the reasons that I need to redo my slides. I could see a lot of her points, but a bunch of them were just sort of didn't make a lot of sense to me. I just wonder if we were already right in the paradigm of what you were talking about. I have what I need up there for my style. Which is an interesting thing, right? Because when we talk about how to sell to women, what I need out there is to really flow in my style, and then there's the people in the audience that maybe need to receive it in a certain way. How do you reconcile that? Let's use that as an example because I think that's a perfect example. How do you sell to somebody who's not like you, male or female? Right. There it is. That's the question. Thank you. We've all have that situation in which... Lisa, I know that you're like me that you use the word sell almost with air quotes around it because this is really about engaging people whether you're selling an idea to your spouse or overtly selling something to a client. We've had that situation where we go in and we want to engage and enroll them and somehow there's just no chemistry and we're not in sync. A lot of times what's happening is we're not reading the cues that they're sending us and we're going on autopilot based on the presentation we put together. 8

9 Imagine that you were trying to sell/enroll this coach that you're describing into a program. Once you start realizing that she's going to be most responsive to details, then you might shift how you're communicating differently to say, "Let me tell you the 3 things that you really need to know about this program. I'm going to lay-out for you chronologically exactly what you're outcome is going to be. You might not use a phrase like build the plane while you fly it because that may... That's my favorite phrase. What do you mean? I know [inaudible 00:25:05]. What I'm laughing about is certain personalities that tend to be, they want to present negative consequences because she would have to understand what that means and about how... I totally get it. On the other hand, if you're going in and you're talking with somebody who's very power-oriented, somebody who is extremely confident, is unafraid to voice opinions, is a clear authority and leader, you probably want to shift your stance a little bit, and without being inauthentic, you'd want to make sure that you demonstrate confidently how this is going to have measurable change for them instead of just going for the warm, touchy, fuzzy, feely. Got it. It's a balance, right? You want to acknowledge and understand which is critical and you're really giving us that gift today with the code, give us the Fascination Advantage assessment complementary. In that, it's really understanding who you're talking to as well. It's the whole thing. This is what [crosstalk 00:26:13]. Yes. You know... Lisa, what's a favorite brand of yours like Mac cosmetics or Starbucks? Let's take those... Yeah, okay. Actually it's funny. I just bought something from Mac cosmetics this morning. Let's go with that one. Perfect. My little [inaudible 00:26:35]. Mac is different than other brands that are sold in the mall. It's different than Lancôme and even different than Revlon. There's a lesson that we can learn from that. Instead of focusing on your strengths, highlight your differences. This is ultimately a very feminine way of thinking because obviously my system was created by a woman, me. Men tend to communicate in terms of their strengths. For example, "Here's why I'm better than you. Here's what you need to know about me. This is why I'm good." Women are sometimes uncomfortable when presented with that information. If you're talking to a female prospect that is not necessarily a way to create sympatico with her. Instead, talk about how you and your offering are different so that it's not a direct competition. 9

10 In studies that were done years ago, they measured what's the difference between how little boys talk to each other and little girls. The boys would pull up their chairs so they were facing each other. Like imagine 2 people sitting across a table in a boardroom, and that's how they wanted to communicate. The girls did something totally different. They pulled up their chairs alongside each other so they were facing the same direction. In selling to women, don't put your chair... I don't mean literally. We're not talking about feng shui of chairs. We're talking about psychologically. The way in which you want to build resonance with this woman that you want to engage, find ways to come alongside her. Find ways that you can find commonalities and be careful about putting anything into a directly competitive position with your own competitors. It's not about, "Here's why I'm better than my competitors," it's about, "Here's what makes me different and here's what that means for you." Awesome. Yeah. That is so powerful. It feels congruent when I check in as a woman. May I share some other research we did recently? Absolutely. I know you have a lot of things that entrepreneurs need to know to grow their business. Anything you want to share. I know we don't have a ton of time with you. Yes, please. We're all ears. Women don't want to be fascinated. Women want to be fascinating. Here's the difference. That's so true. Women want to feel like whatever you're selling them is going to help them feel fascinating to other people. It doesn't need to fascinate them in a vacuum. Here's the piece of research that we did. We found that women were willing to pay more to be fascinating than they pay for food and clothes combined. Wow. Remember, it's so core to us women that we want to be fascinating. Like I said, even Razzle Dazzle, Holiday Life, and Britney Spears. That means, we want to feel like our message matters. We want to be heard. We want to make a difference. If you can demonstrate the way in which your product or service can help a woman feel fascinating, in other words, help her get her message out there. Help her be acknowledged, help her be respected and better at her relationships, then you're going to be far more likely to make the sale rather than telling her why she should be fascinated by your product. 10

11 This is so good. I have such a simple thing in my life that reminds me of this. Years ago, I used to go dance salsa. I was married to someone who was training to be a surgeon, so he was on call all the time. I would go to the club by myself, dance off and leave, and I loved it. It was always fascinating to me. I love dancing with the dancers that made me look good, that made me look fascinating on the dance floor. Some of the best male dancers are the ones that are barely moving but they know how to guide a woman and display you. Whereas there's this whole other set of guys that were really good and they would dance with you and throw all these tricks, they were very fascinating, and you were standing there trying not to get like clubbed in the head by their shoe when they did the [twist 00:30:52] or whatever. There's something in that that just brought this up because I so much more enjoy being displayed by someone who just knows how to guide me and make me look good versus being with the best dancer in the club who's doing all his tricks and I'm kind of trying to keep up. It feels similar to me, that desire. It is. That it's coming from the same place. It's a wonderful example. Just to close, I want to bring this back to you. My husband and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary with you at Speak to Sell event. I just love that. You and I, we didn't... Yeah. It was the best gift we ever gave to each other. I had a big resistance to selling. It was very uncomfortable to me and I didn't know how to do it authentically, so it took a lot of energy and it always felt awkward to me. What I learned from my Speak to Sell event was, how can I feel fascinating even when I'm selling so that I can help the other person feel fascinating? Because if I feel clammed up and awkward, then they're going to feel that way too. That's an example of what you're already doing in your work and honestly, all of us can do it. You don't have to use the word fascinating, but if I'm a woman who is a potential client or customer, tell me how this is going to help me feel like I can be bigger and more meaningful in the world. So good. So good. Sally, I just could learn from you forever. It's like you're an endless well. Every single piece that you say, I feel I can just apply right away. I'm always getting ready to step on our next stage, our next live event, and whenever I get an infusion of your work, it lifts me up. Is there anything else that you want to share just that would help our entrepreneurs listening to grow or understand the benefits of being fascinating to clients, customers, and prospects? 11

12 The key thing is that as entrepreneurs, in order for us to be most effective, in order to for us to show up in the biggest possible way in the world, we don't have to change who we are. We have to become more of who we are. As an entrepreneur, as you're thinking about what is your next venture, in what way are you most likely to grow? Don't change who you are. Find those qualities within yourself that are most valuable that feels you that they make you the most confident, and then become more of that. Because the world isn't change by people who sort of care, the world is changed by people who passionately, almost irrationally care. In order for you to passionately, irrationally care about your work, then it's crucial for you to be able to show up every single day and love what you're doing. That's awesome. I love it. Sally is expressing to us how important it is that we become more of who we are and the connection of that in not only loving our life but being able to get out work out in the world in a bigger way, make a bigger difference. Whether you want to think of it as selling more or serving more, I see it as the same thing. Really, it starts, to be able to be more of who you are, with really knowing what makes you fascinating. I just really want to encourage everyone to grab the show notes. I know there's so much in here that you're going to want to refer back to that we've also give you the transcript and Sally's amazing free gift of the Fascination Advantage assessment. You'll see a code at our page to be able to wave the fee and take that 28- question assessment and you'll know how others perceive you. This is based on the results of 600,000 participants. This test really will reveal the very best of how the world sees you. You don't want to walk around without knowing that. Just grab that at BoostYourSalesShow.com/nine. Sally, just thank you so much for giving it all. I can't wait for people to get their hands on their own fascination assessment. I know for me it just really, really helped me hone in to be my best self and give my best, and it's fun. It's fun. It's about your favorite subject. Thank you Lisa. Thank you for having me here with you. I love being able to talk with you about this. I love the work that you're doing in the world. Thank you for teaching me and my team. Thank you so much. It's mutual. Everybody, thanks for giving this gift to yourself today, investing in you and your awesome work. I look forward to getting sassy with all of you again next week. Stay tuned for another amazing episode. Sally, we look forward to seeing you out there doing great things. Appreciate all your time and love today. Awesome. It's great. Bye. I hope you enjoyed this episode of Boost Your Sales and Lifestyle with Lisa Sasevich. If you did, be sure to visit BoostYourSalesShow.com and while you're 12

13 there, download my free training, Seed and Grow Rich, to learn how to provide great value while simultaneously creating hunger and desire in your perspective clients without being salesy. I hope you'll also head over and leave us a raving review at itunes. I hope you enjoyed the show as much as I enjoyed providing it for you. Thank you so much for allowing me to be part of your entrepreneurial path. Until our next episode, live sassy. 13