4 Family: Building a Healthy Home Avoiding Financial Collapse - Proverbs 27:20

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1 1 4 Family: Building a Healthy Home Avoiding Financial Collapse - Proverbs 27:20 I want to thank so many of you for the great response you have made to this series on family. God is working wondrously in our lives as we seek to walk before Him in obedience and love. Today I want to return to a previous series for a bit of a reminder. Walking in love and obedience to the Lord includes every aspect of our lives, especially family. And in our families, we seem to have a common problem. George Gallup says that the number one cause of arguments in families is finances money. Sixty-five percent of all couples and families reported that they argue about money. In fact, it's the leading cause of divorce. Fifty-four percent of all divorces are related to money issues. Over half! Maybe we ought to change the vow to say, "Til debt do us part." We're always getting into trouble. If you don't manage your money, it will manage you. It will. This morning we're going to look at the wisest man who ever lived. His name was Solomon. He also was the wealthiest. He wrote a couple of books in your bible. One of them, Ecclesiastes, tells us how we get into trouble with our money. And his other book of Proverbs tells us how we get out of trouble. We're going to look at these this morning. Why do we get into trouble with our finances? Proverbs 27:20 "Human desires are like the world of the dead. There's always room for more." (GNT) Somebody asked Howard Hughes one time, "How much does it take to make a man happy?" He said, "Just a little bit more." Money magazine reported that the median income of Orange County, CA is 80% higher than the rest of the nation. Yet they also reported that every strata in Orange County said, "If I had just 20-40% more -- then I'd be happy" Why do we always want more? It isn't the money itself. It's what we think the money will bring. We think money will bring three things. 1. We hope that having more will bring us more satisfaction. All the advertisements tell us that. If you have more, you're going to be happy. The American dream is life, liberty and the purchase of happiness. The problem is your yearning will always exceed your earning. Ecclesiastes 5:10 states, "You will never be satisfied if you long to be rich. You'll never get all you want." The desire to acquire just keeps on growing. So it doesn't bring more satisfaction. 2. We hope that it will bring more significance. We think, "If I have more then I'll be more important. I'll be more respected. I'll be more powerful. I'll be more admired. I may even be more famous. I can afford all those status symbols. Yet Jesus said this, "A man's true life is not made up of the things he owns no matter how rich he may be." In other words, your net worth is not the same as your self worth. You should never confuse your value with your valuables. How much you own has nothing to do with your personal worth. We think that having more will make us happy, that it will give us satisfaction, and that it will make us more significant, but it doesn't. 3. We think that by having more we'll have more security. The problem is, how big must your pile be in order for you to be secure? You can never have enough because you can loose it overnight in a million different ways. If you're going to have security, you've got to put your security in something that can't be taken from you and possessions can. You can lose them all kinds of different ways. So you don't really gain any security. Proverbs 23:5 "Your money can be gone in a flash as if it had grown wings and flown away like an eagle." People say "Money talks." You may say, Mine doesn't talk; it just sneaks away quietly. Solomon says we think it will bring more significance and more satisfaction and more security but it doesn't bring that at all. In fact, he says, Let me tell you what having more really produces, and he ought to know because he was the wealthiest man who ever lived. In fact, the Bible says he was so wealthy that even his plates and his glasses were made of pure gold. Solomon says that having more does three things:

2 1. It creates more expenses. Have you found that to be true? As income goes up, so do your expenses. It always costs more to have more. I say, If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you can bet their water bill is higher too! It just costs more to have more. It's amazing today that you're struggling on the income fifteen years ago you thought was a fortune! More brings more expenses. Ecclesiastes 5:11 "The more money you have, the more you spend right up to the limits of your income." It's true. The more you've got, the more you spend. Good News translation says, "The richer you are the more mouths you have to feed." The more you've got you have to get accountant, attorneys, advisors, and all other kinds of people to help you out. The more you have, the more people want a piece of your action. Having more actually creates more expenses. 2. It creates more worries. Ecclesiastes 5:12 "A working man can get a good night's sleep, but the rich man has so much that he stays awake worrying." The more we have the more we worry. We worry about how to save it, how to protect it, how to invest it, how to insure it, how to spend it, and how to avoid taxes on it. The blue-collar worker, he punches out at work, he forgets his job, he goes home and he doesn't think about it any more. He goes home, watches TV, has a nice meal, loves his family, goes to sleep and sleeps like a baby. The rich man, Solomon says, goes home and he worries. He takes the job home with him in a briefcase. He's thinking, "Is the deal going to close? Am I going to make the sale? Did the stocks go up? Did the stocks go down? Did I hire the right people? Did I fire the right people?" He can't let go because he has to fuss and fume and worry through the whole thing. I read a study recently that corroborates this. It states that insomnia increases with income. So Solomon tells us that having more creates more expenses. It creates more worries. 3. It creates more pain if it's lost. Ecclesiastes 5:14 "Risky investments turn sour and soon there's nothing left. It's all swept away. The rest of his life he's under a cloud, gloomy, discouraged, frustrated and angry." Notice the four kinds of pain... when you've got a lot and then you lose it you have four kinds of pain: You're gloomy -- that means you're depressed because you can't get what you want. You're discouraged because you're disappointed that you don't have it anymore. You're frustrated. Do finances do that to you? Do you find out the moment you catch up with the Jones' they refinance? Just about the time you get the ends to meet, somebody moves the ends. You're always frustrated. You're always a day late and a dollar short. That's what having more does to you. It can make you angry. Because a loss can make people bitter. The point here is that always wanting more is the cause of many of your emotional problems. If you didn't want so much you wouldn't have so many emotional problems, like anger and depression and worry and all of these things. It causes emotional problems. Furthermore it causes enormous family conflict and that's what we want to talk about today. Finances cause a lot of conflict in marriages. So how do you get your finances under control? Solomon gives five foundations for financial freedom. In the book of Proverbs, he says there are five things you can do to get your finances under control. These work whether you're a believer or an unbeliever. It doesn't matter. They are God's principles. We stressed these a couple of months ago, but let s review them to see how you are doing. 1. KEEP GOOD RECORDS This is the principle of accounting. That means you keep track of your finances. You've got to know where your money is going. Proverbs 27:23-24 "Riches can disappear fast so watch your business interests closely. Know the state of your flocks." Do you ever say this: "I just don't know where all my money goes"? Then you're in trouble. As we said a few weeks ago, you are financially lost and don t know it. The Bible says that you need to keep good records. Ignorance about where your money goes plus easy credit equals catastrophe. Many of the 2

3 3 problems that marriages have are because one of the two people in the marriage is kept in the dark about the finances. When you don't know where your money is going you're headed for trouble, particularly in this day and age of easy credit. There are four things you need to know: 1. I need to know what I own. 2. I need to know what I owe. 3. I need to know what I earn. 4. I need to know where it goes. That's the first step. Right it all down. Keep a log. Keep good records over a long period of time. You say, "We don't have time to keep good records!" Do you have time to worry about your finances? If you took the time you spend worrying about it, keeping good records, you'd have a lot less to worry about. The Bible says, know where your money is going. That s the principle of accounting. 2. PLAN YOUR SPENDING This is the principle of budgeting. You've got to set financial goals and stick with them. Don't just fly by the seat of your pants. Proverbs 21:5 "Plan carefully and you'll have plenty. If you act too quickly you'll never have enough." Solomon says that financial freedom is not based on how much you earn, it's based on how you spend it. Did you know that the average American spends six hours a week in shopping related activities. Turn to your neighbor and say, I m way above average! Some of you are way above average. Studies show that the more educated you are, the more you shop. [Some of you are saying, "See, honey! I'm intelligent! The fact is, the more you spend without knowing about it, the more you're going to get into trouble. Notice the phrase "If you act too quickly." It says if you act too quickly, you'll never have enough. He's talking about what today we call impulse buying. Impulse buying is unplanned expenditures. I see it, I want it -- I've got to have it! Every advertisement and every commercial and every merchandising tool is geared to get you to do impulse buying. They create the sizzle on the steak and the chocolate sundae and it looks so delicious and the cars always look so shiny and they're in real exotic places. They're creating a desire for impulse buying -- I've got to have it now! They're basing it on emotion. If they arouse your emotion, they've got you. There is one word our society has figured out works better in impulse buying than anything else. Many of you cannot resist this word. It is the word "SALE." Many of you, when you see that -- "On Sale" -- it's like a magnet. I've got to have it now because it's on sale! Pretty soon you're hooked. You say, "Look how much I'm saving!" It doesn't matter whether you need it or not. There's a line that society has taught us: "If I don't buy it now it will cost more later. Sales are designed to create impulse buying. The Bible says you need to plan your spending. Proverbs 21:20 (GNT) "Stupid people spend their money as fast as they get it." We could conclude with this verse. This is God's IQ Test. He says it's dumb to spend your money as fast as you get it. If you do, you're not very wise. Spending can be like any other addiction. You say, "I can handle it." Pretty soon, you're hooked and you're in debt. I read the other day in Prevention magazine there are now support groups for people who shop 'til they drop, who can't break the habit of impulse buying. They have groups called Debtor's Anonymous and Shopper Stoppers for people who are addicted to spending. How do you break the habit of impulsive buying? How do you spell RELIEF? You spell it BUDGET. What is a budget? A budget is simply planning your spending. A budget is telling your

4 4 money where you want it to go rather than wondering where it went. That's what it's all about. The Bible says you need to keep good records and you need to plan your spending. That means have a budget. If you want to control that impulse to buy you've got to nip it in the budget! So we have seen the principles of accounting and budgeting. 3. SAVE FOR THE FUTURE This is the principle of saving. Proverbs 21:5 says, "The wise man saves for the future." In contrast to the foolish man who spends it as fast as he gets it. The average Korean person saves 25% of their income. The average European family saves 18% of their income. The average American family is saving 3% of their income. Why? Every study I ve read says Baby Boomers are going to be flat broke in retirement. They're going to live in poverty. They're going to have poorer retirement than their parents did because they aren't saving anything. Why? Why aren't we saving anything? Because we're busy keeping up with the Jones'! If you base your lifestyle on what everybody around you has, you're never going to save anything. You're always going to be trying to keep up. They get a new car, we've got to get a new car. They get a new lawn, we've got to get a new lawn. Then once you get those things, you have to pay to maintain them. And you have to worry about them. I never worry about getting barnacles on my yacht. Never! I don't have one. I never worry about moths getting into Valeria's mink coat. You only have to worry about stuff you've got. You don't have to worry about what you don't have. Save for the future. Forget the Jones' and start saving. So we have seen the principles of accounting, budgeting and saving. 4. TITHE BACK TO GOD That's the principle of generosity. God says that you need to plan what you are going to give to His Kingdom and make that contribution first. The Bible teaches the first ten percent of everything we make, right off the top should be given back to God. Why does God say that? Why does He say that the first ten percent comes back to Him? Why ten percent? I honestly don't know. He could have said fifty percent. He could have said ninety percent. It's all His anyway. He only lets you use it for 60 or 80 years. He could have said, you live on ten percent and give me ninety. Why does He say, give me ten percent of everything you make. I can think of three reasons. God obviously doesn't need your money. So He wants what it represents. 1. It's an act of gratitude. It says, "God, when I give You the first part back of everything I make, it reminds me that it all came from You anyway. You gave me the mind, the hands, the strength, the body, the opportunity to work. If it weren't for You I wouldn't have anything." It's an act of gratitude. 2. It's an act of priority. It says, "God, I want You to be first place in my life and I'm going to prove it by putting my money where my mouth is." If you say God's first place in your life and you're not giving generously to your church you're just kidding yourself. He's not really first place in your life! You don't trust Him and you are not obeying Him. 3. It's an act of faith. God has promised more blessings regarding giving than anything else in the Bible. Why? God wants to teach you to be a giver because He's a giver. God is generous and He wants you to be like Him. He promises, Watch and I will bless you. Proverbs 3:8-9 "Honor the Lord by giving Him the first part of all your income and He will fill your barns to overflow." He says not the leftovers -- right off the top. There's a principle that's even deeper than money here. Whatever you want God to bless in your life, put Him first in. If you want God to bless your family, put God first in your family. If you want God to bless your career, put God first in your career. If you want God to bless your finances, put Him first in

5 your finances. If you want God to bless relationships, put Him first in your relationships. When Valeria and I got married almost 48.5 years ago, we decided we would put God first in our money and that we would tithe ten percent. If we made a hundred dollars, ten dollar would go back to God before we paid anybody else. It doesn't matter if other people weren't going to get paid; we were going to honor God first. Why? Because I needed His help and His blessing to make all the 90% stretch and pay everything else. We've done that through thick and thin and God has blessed us. Some of you are saying, "I can't afford to tithe." Can you afford to be in your face disobedient to God? Can you afford to refuse Him first place in your life? I suggest you can't afford not to give. If you want God's blessing on your finances, just follow all five of these principles. When's the best time for you to start tithing? When you're in debt. Say, "God I'm going to put you first and trust You to help me get out of debt." John D. Rockefeller, once the wealthiest man in America, was once asked, "What's the secret of wealth?" He said, "It's real simple. Save ten percent, tithe ten percent, and live on the rest. That's how I became the wealthiest man in America." If you don't have enough money to tithe and save, you're overspending. It's that simple. You're overspending. So here are four principles to manage your finances: the principles of accounting, budgeting, saving, and tithing. But, Brother Fred, you said there were five principles! Indeed! The last one is 5. ENJOY WHAT YOU HAVE God wants you to enjoy what you have. Ecclesiastes 6:9 says this, "It is better to be satisfied with what you have than always wanting something else." This principle is being violated all time in America. We are so busy getting more we don't have time to enjoy what we have. We can't enjoy our kids because we're always making payments. It goes in about three or four phases. Phase one, your yearning exceeds your earning. Phase two, you get over extended financially and you get more in debt than you should be. You buy a bigger house or a bigger car or whatever and you get over extended. Phase three, you have to hustle constantly to make ends meet. You're always rushed. Phase four, your family life begins to deteriorate. Everybody's uptight and irritable because we're all working hard just to make ends meet. Pretty soon you have absentee parents who are buying their kids things instead of being with them. Kids don't need more things. The greatest thing in life aren't things. Kids need attention. We rationalize and say, "One day we're going to slow down. This is just temporary." Who are you kidding? That temporary solution has become a permanent, habitual lifestyle. You know when things are going to slow down? After the kids are gone. Then it will be too late. It will slow down when you decide to make it slow down because you say, we're going to learn to live on less so we can spend more time with the family. Ecclesiastes 5:19 "If God gives a man wealth and property, he should be grateful and enjoy what he's worked for. It's a gift from God." God says learn to be content and enjoy what you've got. You already have more than ninety percent of the rest of the world. Why do you have to have more? Learn contentment. Try this phrase on as a life principle: "Use it up, Wear it out, Make it do, or Do without." These principles -- keep good records, plan your spending, save for the future, tithe back to God and enjoy what I have -- God promises, "If you do these I will bless you and you'll find financial freedom." Do they work? Absolutely. I could give you hundreds of examples here in our own church of people who have used these and have gotten out of debt. 5

6 Are you feeling the pressure of finances these days? Do you find yourself arguing more and more about bills? Are you worrying about making ends meet? Then I want to challenge you this morning to follow God's plan -- these five principles. Keep good records, Plan your spending, Save for the future, Tithe back to God, and Enjoy what you have. I want to challenge you this morning to say, "I'm going to commit to all five." It doesn't work if you just do one or two of them. God says these are His principles. Some of you have a deeper issue. It's this: Out of control finances are a symptom of an out of control life. Unmanaged finances are a symptom of an unmanaged life. What you really need is a life manager. You need more than just these principles. You need a Guide. That's what Jesus Christ said He would come to do. He said, "I will help you manage your life. I will guide you. I will direct you." It's called being the Lord of your life -- the manager. He'll help you, not just in the areas of your finances, but He'll help you in every other area of your life too. If I put my trust in money, if my happiness depends on wealth, it will mean that I've denied the God of heaven." Why? Because whatever you trust for your security is your God. I would suggest today that you make a mental shift and say, "I'm no longer going to put my trust in materialism but I'm going to put my trust in God and His son, Jesus Christ. And watch your life find new control and new meaning and find things working out the way they ought to work out. 6