2/8/15 AWESOME FRIENDSHIPS

Size: px

Start display at page:

Download "2/8/15 AWESOME FRIENDSHIPS"

Cuthbert Newman
5 years ago
Views:

1 2/8/15 AWESOME FRIENDSHIPS

2 Have you ever heard someone say, I m too busy for relationships. The advice you need to give them is this, Then you re just too busy! Because life is all about relationships, everything else is just details! Life is about building great friendships. And if you don t you ll end up pretty lonely later in life. Here s WHY we need awesome friends in our life 1. FOR SPIRITUAL GROWTH. You can t become all God meant for you to be and you can t grow to spiritual maturity by yourself. Period. Romans 1:12 says, I want us to help each other with the faith we have. Your faith will help me, and my faith will help you. You need friends in your life to accomplish God s purpose for your life. You also need awesome friends 2. FOR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT. In the Bible the phrase one another is used at least 58 times. Love one another; Care for one another; Help one another; Serve one another; Encourage one another. Think about it, you can t obey these commands without friends! Galatians 6:2 Carry each other s burdens, and in this way you fulfill the law of Christ. If we re not helping each other we re not fulfilling the law of Christ which is Love your neighbor as yourself. So we need friends for spiritual growth and for emotional support. And we need awesome friends 3. FOR SOCIAL ENJOYMENT. Life is meant to be enjoyed, not just endured. Ecclesiastes 8:15, Solomon, the smartest man in the world says, there is nothing better for people in this world than to eat, drink, and enjoy life. 3-2

3 Friendships are the bedrock of a satisfying life. You can make all the money in the world, have all the achievements and pleasure in the world but if your relationships stink, life stinks! Nothing can compensate for the lack of good relationships. You also need awesome friends 4. TO REACH YOUR GOALS. It takes a team to fulfill a dream. You ve got to have friends in your life or you re not going to accomplish much. The Bible says Two people are better than one, because they get more done by working together. So we need friends for spiritual growth, emotional support, social enjoyment, and reaching goals so WHERE do I get friends like that? And HOW do I make friends like that? Glad you asked. That s what we re going to talk about today. WHERE do you get awesome friends? This might surprise you the best place to get friends like that is at CHURCH. Because that s where you ll find people of good character, and people with similar goals and values. I d encourage you get involved and serve with somebody in ministry or do life with one-other in a small group. HOW do you develop awesome friendships? I d summarize it by saying follow the Golden Rule. Jesus gave us a statement that s become known as the Golden Rule. Matthew 7:12 Do for others what you would like them to do for you! He s saying give people what YOU D like to get. Treat other people the way YOU D like to be treated. That s the Golden Rule. Let s apply this to friend relationships. If you really want to have great, deep, meaningful, lifelong friendships it s real simple: BE THE FRIEND THAT YOU D LIKE TO HAVE. 3-3

4 You re not going to have deep awesome friendships unless you re that kind of friend. Because you attract what you are not what you want. If you re a shallow person you ll attract shallow people. If you re a loving person you re going to attract loving people. If you re a bitter person you ll attract other bitter people who complain about everything. You attract what you are. OK, I ve come to the meat of the message where we re going to look at what I m calling: Golden Rules of building AWESOME friend relationships. And I thought to help me out I d invite my small group to come and share with me. We ve been together for 32 years. We ve developed some deep trust and I thought they d have some things to share. Guys, please stand up. This is what awesome friends look like I know pretty scary isn t it! Let me introduce them... The first golden rule of friendship 1. INVEST THE TIME. That s the starting point. You invest the time and energy to build friendships. Deep friendships aren t accidental. They re on purpose. They re intentional. They re a choice. And deep friendships aren t instant. We didn t start off having deep friendships. It s taken years to build them. I d trust these people with my life. Because I ve known them deeply for 30 years. You must choose to invest time, energy and effort. Friendships don t flourish without just showing up, and just being there. By the way, if somebody shows up in your life only when they need you for something, they re NOT a friend, they re a relative! They re an acquaintance. Friends show up whether they need you or not. Friends just show up. And friends stay showed up. 3-4

5 Philippians 2:4 Do not be interested only in your own life, but be interested in the lives of others. If you ll follow that verse you ll have lots of friends. Don t just be interested in your own life, be interested in the lives of others. Remember these two words Show up! Just show up. Physical presence is essential to having a long term deep, friendship. By the way, those people on Spacebook, they re not your friends. They re acquaintances. They re just out there in space. Friends show up. Friends invest the time. ASK Group: So what s kept our group together for 32 years? (Who do you think keeps us together the most.) (group answers) The second golden rule of building awesome friendships is this 2. EARN THEIR TRUST. Without trust there is no friendship. You talk to acquaintances but you trust your friends. Here s what the Bible says. Proverbs 20:6 Many people claim to be a friend, but it s rare to find someone who is truly trustworthy. Would agree with that verse? It s rare to find somebody you d trust with your life or your possessions. You trust awesome friends. But you have to EARN trust. That s why you don t get a deep friendship automatically. The Bible says you earn people s trust a couple ways... BY BEING RELIABLE. You can be counted on. You keep your word. Reliability is the difference between a friend and a flake. The Bible says it like this, Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves you ALL the time. I looked up that word ALL in the dictionary and it means ALL. It means when you re sick, when you re irritated, when you re lonely, when you re a jerk. A friend loves you ALL the time. Another way you build trust is 3-5

6 BY BEING LOYAL. Loyalty is putting you before me. Loyalty is actually the opposite of self-centeredness. Loyalty says I m going to help you right now instead of help myself. That s loyalty. Proverbs 17:17 A true friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in a time of need. They show up when you re tired, or sick, or you need help. They re born to help in time of need. Reliable and Loyal sounds like a golden retriever! Let me ask the GROUP: How have you found our small group to be reliable and loyal to you? I ll start. Loyal friends cancel their plans to help you with your plan. That s what everybody here did this week, I gave them 5 days notice and they ALL made it! Pretty cool! (group answers) Let s move on! Loyalty is really just love in action. 1 Corinthians 13:7 If you love someone, you ll be loyal to them no matter what the cost. You will always believe in them, always expect the best, and always stand your ground in defending them. A third way you build trust is BY KEEPING CONFIDENCES. Proverbs 11:13 a true friend will keep a secret. You can say anything to them and they re not going to blab about it. Look at the first part of Proverbs 11:13 it says No one who gossips can be trusted Did you know that God hates gossip? In fact the Bible says it s one of the seven things God hates. It s right up there with murder. It s a BIG deal with God! If you want to have deep awesome friendships you re going to have to zip it on gossip. Trust takes years to build and can be lost in one second of gossip. 3-6

7 ASK: Would any of you like to comment on the importance of keeping confidences? Actually, I ll speak on behalf of the group and say that we have nothing to share! Invest TIME, earn TRUST, The third golden rule of building awesome friendships 3. ACCEPT THEIR FLAWS. We re going to have a good time with this one! We all have flaws, and faults, failings, weaknesses. Nobody s perfect. The Bible says in Romans 15:7 Accept each other just as Christ has accepted you; THEN God will be glorified. That means you ve got to accept people the way they are NOT the way you want them to be. If you have friends, even awesome friends have some characteristics that bug the tar out of you! (anyone want to share?) Here s a little secret: they re never going to change. So you ve got to decide to accept that and look at the good qualities in him or her, and decide to overlook the flaws and flubs. That s what the Bible means by acceptance. God doesn t demand that you be perfect in order to get into heaven. He shows grace to you, and God says you need to do that to other people. Proverbs 17:9, Overlooking a person s faults cultivates love; but nagging about them destroys friendships. The way to destroy friendships is always pick at your friend. GROUP: (anyone want to comment about that?) The fourth golden rule of building awesome friendships CELEBRATE WINS AND SHARE LOSSES. Romans 12:15 says this Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep. First let s look at the wins 3-7

8 We need to learn how to celebrate the good things that happen to OTHER people without becoming envious, jealous, or resentful. Awesome friends celebrate your wins. If you re able to celebrate the happiness of other people you ll be happy your entire life because there s always something to celebrate. Let s talk about that. [Group: Have we celebrated wins? (Kids, grandkids)] But there are also losses. We ve had a few losses. We ve gone through financial losses, job losses. We ve gone through funerals of parents. And said goodbye to one of our awesome friends. [Group: Have we handled the losses together?] 1 Corinthians 12:26, If ONE part of the body suffers ALL the other parts SHARE in its suffering. And if one part is praised all the others SHARE in its happiness. The kind of friendship you re seeing right here, it didn t happen overnight. We ve been together 30 years! When we started our small group bible study it was literally put in the video tape, watch it, talk and go home. Which by the way shows how old this group is because we were back in the VCR days. The last golden rule of building awesome friendships An awesome friend is the person who 5. BRINGS OUT THE BEST IN YOU Your life is richer, fuller, it s more meaningful, they help you grow. The Bible says in Proverbs 27:17 Just as iron sharpens iron, friends sharpen each other. I can t tell you how many times this group has sharpened me. Has even given me examples to use in a message. 3-8

9 Here s the thing about friendships: The older they get the better they get. An old friend, a true friend, won t let you lie to you. An old friend, a true friend will keep you honest. The Bible says an honest answer is the sign of a true friendship. Sometimes being an awesome friend requires frankness. Sometimes the friend has to speak up and say I love you too much to let you do this. Sometimes a friend sees you going the wrong way and they go, You may be mad at me for saying this, this may tick you off, but I care more about your future than I care about my feelings. So I m telling you: You re making a BIG mistake. Do you have anybody in your life who you ve given permission to get in your face? Do you have any awesome friends in your life who will get in your face whether you want them to or not? Friends make it their business when they a friend messing up. Friends don t say, I m just going to be neutral. Friends take sides. And friends show up. The Bible says in Proverbs 27:5 A truly good friend will openly correct you. You can trust a friend to correct you. You don t take truths from people you don t trust. GROUP: [ anyone want to comment on this?] I thought about these people who we ve done life with for 32 plus years and I made a list of what awesome friends do: Awesome Friends Awesome friends nourish your spirit. Awesome friends help you see the humor in difficulties. Awesome friends pull you out of a rut and recharge you. Awesome friends encourage you when you re discouraged, provide a shoulder to cry on, revitalize your energy, share your burdens, lift your moods, help you face the unknown. 3-9

10 Everything that we ve talked about today can be summed up in Jesus words Love your neighbor as yourself. You re to be the friend that you d like to have. If you ll follow these golden rules of building awesome friend relationships, you ll never be lonely at the end of your life. Prayer: Father, I thank you for these friends in my life. How we ve journeyed together these past 3 plus decades. Through all the ups and downs and twists and turns. Lord, I pray that every one of us gathered here today would follow Jesus and commit to loving others as much as we love ourselves. Help us be that church where people can find a group of awesome friends where we can be sharpened and become all you meant us to be. I pray this in Jesus name. Amen. 3-10

SUNDAY MORNINGS August 26, 2018, Week 4 Grade: 1-2

SUNDAY MORNINGS August 26, 2018, Week 4 Grade: 1-2 Don t Stop Believin Bible: Don t Stop Believin (Trust in the Lord) Proverbs 3:5-6 (Supporting: 1 Kings 10:1-10) Bottom Line: If you want to be wise, trust God to give you wisdom. Memory Verse: If any of