ONCE IN A BLUE MOON by Joseph Arnone Copyright 2018 MonologueBlogger.com All rights reserved.
INT. SEEDY BAR. DIMLY LIT. 4 A.M. and and conducting business at a table rear end of the bar. I told you, I take this stuff very seriously. Did you think I was foolin? No. Elmer snorts coke with his pinky nail. Now I think that we need to rectify the situation. Don t you? I guess You guessed right. You know, it really confuses me because I should have enough of a reputation established by now, out there in the free world. So many years gone by putting my time in people like you ought to know about me. I know about you, Mr. Elmers. Do you? Yes. I find that relatively hard to believe, based on what you did. I didn t think I d get caught. Is it your wife? No, sir it s my, my boy, my little boy he s, he s not well.
2. What s wrong with him? He s got all kinds of breathing problems. He s on all kinds of inhalers for his asthma and he suffers pretty bad with allergies he can die and we, me and my wife that is, we can t afford to keep up with the medical fees. Our insurance is shit and doesn t do much in the way of helping my boy so, well, that s why I did what I went and done. Makes sense. You have a sick child and you did what you needed to do as a good father, to provide for your boy the certain care his condition calls for correct? That s right, Mr. Elmers. Life is so full of surprises, isn t it? (beat) How old is your son? He s six years old. Is he your only child? My one any only. What s his name? His name is Charlie. Charlie my brother s name is Charlie. I know Do you love your wife?
3. I do. Very much. And you are all closely bundled with love? We are, sir. Why did you think that in your attempt to save Charlie, you wouldn t get caught, based on my reputation? Desperate men do desperate things. ( NODS) And how is Charlie, now? He s alright, we have his condition in control. In control that s good. Yes. And when did you or I should say HOW did you get your son s condition in such control? We found a doctor, a doctor who took great pity on my family. You see, there are still good people in this world. Saints! I m happy to hear your son is doing fine. (beat) When exactly did you get your son s condition in control? When? Was it before or after you pulled the robbery?
4. I think it was it was the following day. I used the money to pay the doctor to save my boy. Incredible. You know, this doctor you speak of, does he have a name? Doctor Sin-Yee Han. Doctor Sin-Yee Han, did you say? Yes. Great doctor, excellent, excellent doctor. He s a dear friend of mine. Is he now? So dear in fact that we even go out for dinner on occasion. Really? What a coincidence? Isn t it? I have a breathing condition, too? Sorry to hear that. Don t be sorry, I m fine. I have Doctor Sin-Yee to thank for that. He s such a good man, isn t he? Yes, he truly is. He does a lot of charity work, too. Well, he um
5. Doctor Sin-Yee and I have had some wonderful conversations on life, science, philosophy. He s a brilliant mind that Sin-Yee. He even told me all about you, your son Charlie, his condition and how you pleaded with him for help you re a good father. Thank you. You betcha. There s one thing about it all that seems to twist a corkscrew in my spine Doctor Sin-Yee told me a different story altogether than the one you re telling me now. (SWALLOWS HARD) Mr. Elmers? Yes? I have a confession to make. Do you? Yes, I m afraid I lied to you. Afraid? But what did you lie about that would cause you to be afraid? I still have your money. You re joking? No, I, I have it. But I thought you gave it all to Sin-Yee?
6. I never gave it to Doctor Sin-Yee Han. Really? That s exactly what he in fact told me. I should give everything back to you. Well, that s quite the epiphany. (beat) Don t matter about the money. I have so much money, I could swim in it like DuckTales. DuckTales? Scrooge McDuck? I don t DuckTales a woohoo! (sings opening theme song to DuckTales) (beat) I don t want the money back. No? Nah. You can t give me back the money because I m looking at you as a proud investment. How so? You re gonna do things for me. No questions asked. I won t beat you down or kill you or any of those rotten things. I m a creative type. I pride myself in being so creative actually. Can you give me an example?
7. Example? Well, sure. Tonight I m going to take yo ass. What? Yeah. What do you mean? What s so confusing about it? I said something, you heard it. I don t understand it. Sure you do. It s easy. You robbed from me and now I own yo ass. I can give you back all the money, Mr. Elmers. That s your money for your family needs and pressures. Is this..is this is this a one time deal? No. So, you re saying that you are going to abuse me for the rest of my life? Well, at least for the rest of my life. I m older than you so time s on your side in this case. What if I resist? You have to consider Charlie.
8. You re a sick man. Am I? It s really not so bad. It s a free right of passage. Once in a blue moon. (pointing to a desk) Now, that s where I ll take ya. Drop your draws, bend on over and let me take my Scrooge McDip.