Sändningsdatum: 2 oktober 2005 Producent: Keith Foster DEVIL Is this Egganham? Yyyy..no. No. This is.. not Egganham. DEVIL Birmingham? No yes. No. Not Birmingham, really. DEVIL Make up your mind, my good man. Oh go to hell. Thank God for that. blah blah blah I can t talk now, I m on the phone with Sharon, your daughter dad misses you terribly. It hasn t been the same here since you went to Egganham. Mum. Mum. Mum, I ve got something to tell you. What love? I m pregnant. Are you sure?
Of course I m sure. How far gone are you? Eight weeks. I thought you were going to wait. Well I was, but you know how it is. I thought you were going to be careful. I was mum, but you know what I m like when I ve had a drink or two. I thought you were on the pill. I was mum, but they make your tits so big. Oh Sharon! You know what this means. What? You re going to have to get married. That s none of your business. Have you been looking after yourself?
Yes.I ve been to the doctor s. What did he say? He said everything s going to be all right. Did he say you re definitely pregnant? Mum, I did the test before I went to the doctor s. Never mind, Sharon love. Everything s going to be all right. I m not worried, mum. Have you told Eric? Yeah. What did he say? He s over the moon, mum. Eric. What?
I ve got something to tell you. What? You re going to be a dad. Are you sure? Of course I m sure. Women know these things. Yeah! What a goal! Great goal! Over the moon! When? I m eight weeks pregnant. Eight weeks. We ll have to call him Liverpool. How do you know it s a him? Well I don t, do I? Will you be disappointed if it s a girl? No, but we can t call a girl Liverpool, can we? No, I guess we could call her Mersey. That s a pretty name.
PROFESSOR These soap operas! What a waste of time! WEATHER LADY and let s have a look at the weather in Egganham. It s a very cold morning but it is getting warmer. This could mean rain. Let s have a look at the weather now. Stop! Too sexist! Start again! And coming to Egganham, it s a very cold morning, but it s getting warmer later. This means rain. Let s have a look at the weather now. Is that alright? Bless you. Now have you been feeling all right in the mornings? Yes.
Yes. You haven t been sick? Not anymore. Not any more. Have you been sleeping all right? Yes, I ve been sleeping like a log. Me too. You haven t been smoking have you? Oh no, I don t smoke. Me neither. What about alcohol? You haven t been drinking? Ooh no. I had a few pints on Saturday, after the match.
Eric, you re not having a baby. It s me that s having the baby. Well I know that. Have you felt the baby move? I m not sure. I think I felt it move last night. Don t call the baby it. Well what can I call it then? Would you like to know if the baby is a boy or a girl?, Well...yeah why not is that possible? I can tell you that your baby is a girl., Yeah, wow, little Mersey, a little girl etc Would you like to see her?
Ooh look Eric, little Mersey, isn t she lovely? Look at her little feet! Yeah, look at him go, the little bugger. Moving his legs She s moving her legs! She s a girl! Look at her go, the little bugger. Pardon my French. Oh yeah, sorry, I was thinking of Liverpool. PROFESSOR Oh my God how boring Then I ll say: Do you, Eric Oldham, take Sharon Rose Grimsby to be your awful wedded life sorry; your lawful wedded wife. PROFESSOR Oh my God I don t believe these soaps Aaah. Aaah.
Aaah. She ll look lovely in that. These are for her little legs, look. Aaah. I m not sure about the colour. What do you think, Eric? I d prefer blue. Blue? For a little girl? I think pink is nicer for a little girl. Have you got it in pink? I have got a pink one, just one minute, please. I d like two red cards please. Two red cards, there you are. Can I just try this out? I didn t touch him! You should get yourself some glasses! Have you got that in another colour?
I ve got some yellow ones. All right, half a dozen yellow ones, please. I m warning you. Here s the pink one. Aaah. I m not sure I like that either. I can t decide. What do you think, Eric? Do you like this one or the other one? Grow up Eric! I ve broken my boot lace. And some boot laces please, Babinda. WEATHER LADY It s going to be quite bright with a few showers. And if you re out in the hills or near the coast, there could be strong winds, even approaching gale strength. So let s have a look at the weather for today. Too sexist. Stop this, it s too sexist! I shan t warn you again.
Two slim line tonics please. That s my girl! MRS BROWN Oh Sharon, you ve got a lovely daughter! So have you, Mrs Brown. MR X What s her name again? Mersey! Isn t that a lovely name. Have you got it in another colour? MR X What s her name again? Mersey! Isn t that a lovely name? BABY To pee or not to pee, that is the question. NORMAN Ooharr, ooharr. She looks like Winston Churchill. Don t we all? POLICE Hello hello hello, what have you got here then? She looks like a good one.
Words It s going to be a bright day with just a few showers. There could be strong winds. Gale strength It s a very cold morning but it s getting warmer later I m pregnant. I thought you were going to wait. I thought you were going to be careful. You re going to have to get married. That s none of your business I m not sure about the colour. Det blir klart väder idag med bara några enstaka skurar. Det kan bli hårda vindar Stormstyrka Det är en mycket kall morgon men det blir varmare senare på dagen. Jag är med barn. Jag trodde att du/ni skulle vänta. Jag trodde att du/ni skulle vara försiktiga. Ni blir tvungna att gifta er. Det har du inte med att göra. Jag är inte säker på (att jag gillar) färgen. What do you think? Vad tycker du? I prefer blue. Jag föredrar blått. I think pink is nicer for a little girl. Jag tycker att det är bättre med rosa på en liten flicka.