Without further ado, here are some tips I ve cooked up over the past couple of years that I ve been told have been really helpful, enjoy!
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2 INTRODUCTION A lot of people will tell you that keto is not good for women. Let me start out by saying that that s a bunch of B.S. Sure, keto can make women grouchy, but I ve learned to stay away from men trying to get into ketosis as well. As a matter of fact, anyone (man or woman) can be a grouchy turd when they first start the diet. Yet I am also the first person to recognise that people are simply different. Not just the difference between a man and a woman, either; all men are different from one another, and the same goes for women. That being said, it is important to understand what a diet is all about, and what your goals are, so you can tailor the diet to work efficiently for you. So, while it is simply ridiculous to think that keto is just for the males of our species, I have found some tweaks in the standard setup that seem to work very well for me. Again, just because these tips worked for me, does not mean it will work for you. You may agree to disagree with me, and that s okay! Without further ado, here are some tips I ve cooked up over the past couple of years that I ve been told have been really helpful, enjoy! Let s get right to the nitty-gritty and make any guy reading this a bit uncomfortable. 1
3 12 KETO TIPS FOR WOMEN Let s talk about our periods. Some call it shark week, some name it after ex husbands, and all agree that there are way better ways to spend your time every month. There are a couple of things to remember about our cycle: The first is that you should never ever, never, ever, never-ever weigh yourself when Aunt Flo is visiting. That s just plain dumb. Secondly, you are bleeding, so that IS going to mess with your blood sugar a bit. That means you might be craving sweets. There s nothing wrong with this, because lucky for us, gourmet dark chocolate has very little carbs in it. So if you are craving, a handful of the good chocolate chips will do the trick! There are also a ton of low-carb bars out there, and to be honest, the chocolate ones are usually the best. That doesn t mean you get to go hog wild on chocolate, princess. In fact, you should do your best to stick to sugar free pudding or jello, and just being mindful of your servings. Also, veggies like broccoli or asparagus will actually get rid of a sweet tooth, if you can talk yourself into that substitution. Remember that meats take more to digest, which means your insides can hurt like hell when you ll all puffed up - nothing like amplifying those wonderful cramps! Don t forget that your period may get longer and/or come early for a little while but because we women are magic, it will straighten itself out quickly. 2
4 As for the rest of the month, long after the red seas has parted, we ladies still need to take care of our vaginas. There are a couple of ways to do that, and the keto diet doesn t really let you do them. Well you can do them. Men don t have to worry about some of the issues we take as second nature......like urinary tract infections. If you want to enjoy sex ever again, you need to be taking cranberry supplements. Unfortunately, cranberry supplements will have carbs in them, so you do have to factor them into your diet. Sorry, but there s just nothing you can do about it. Embrace your friend, Lactobacillus acidophilus. It s found in yogurt and is needed for a good, healthy vagina. Keto generally says stay away from yogurt, but there are options out there that allow you to stay in keto while helping out the rest of your body. I recommend a plain organic greek yogurt, because they still retain some fat, and you can add a handful of blackberries into a bowl for flavor. It s good stuff. Don t be too cheesy. You should try to only have about 4oz of cheese per day, because it is pretty tough to lose weight if you go crazy on the cheese. 3
5 Beware of peanut butter. Most brands of PB have a LOT of carbs, that being said, almond butter, or flax butter is a bit better for you if you are looking for a snack before bedtime. If you are going to eat peanut butter, do it about ten minutes before you lay down for bed. It will help put you in a coma so that you can get some good sleep. If you whisk up heavy cream (there are a ton of different brands that have little or no carbs, but still get plenty of fats in you) and peanut butter you can create a creamy delicious mousse. Add some sweetener like stevia to get some sweetness to it. Also, learn how to make peanut butter/chocolate fat bombs to store in you freezer. This is very important, and you will thank me later! Watch your estrogen levels Your body will regulate itself accordingly, however, estrogen levels that are too high are just as bad as being deficient in them. Usually, people on keto struggle to balance calories by eating a lot of foods derived from soy, and that can really can jack your levels up. If this happens, you can be expecting some roller coaster emotions, and some serious anger issues (that s right, anger comes from estrogen, not testosterone.) It s really best to avoid soy, and switch to things like unsweetened almond milk to have over regular enhanced types. Get your calories in. On keto, sometimes you don t realize that you re not getting enough calories! I feel like women don t gorge ourselves on bacon all day like the dudes do, and we hurt our metabolisms by not eating enough! This is where having fat bombs on demand is very important, or being able to throw some plain yogurt, heavy cream, and some blueberries into the blender for a nice fatty smoothie. 4
6 Easy on the proteins too. Men do burn protein better than women. Why? Who knows, maybe it s because they are bigger on average and have more muscle density. The point is, you don t need to eat as much protein on keto and a man does. This is fine, but if you aren t losing weight and can t figure out why, back off on the protein a titch. Weight loss and boobs are NOT friends! If you are doing keto right, you are just going to see the pounds sliding off of you. Unfortunately, your boobs will probably slide off as well. There s only two real things you can do about it, and neither are all that much fun. The first, is that you get yourself a sugar daddy that offers to buy you some new ones...or You can just go ahead and start doing some push-ups every day. The choice is yours... Fish Oil IS absolutely your friend! You should always supplement your keto diet with fish oil. Having it in your system helps to break down all the other fats and oils you are taking in every day. Make sure you get it from a source that s good to the environment. 5
7 Keep your ph in check. As a lady, our ph levels are especially important. You can regulate this by drinking a small glass of warm water, apple cider vinegar, lemon juice, and cayenne pepper first thing in the morning. Every day! Ghee is amazing...especially if you throw it on steak. But don t stop there, put it in your coffee, on your bacon, eat it by the spoonful...it doesn t matter, just go for it. You might think I sound crazy, but trust me, it s worth it! Thank You!! So there it is, 12 magical tips guaranteed to help you not turn into a pumpkin at midnight. Remember, not all diets are for everyone, but if you feel like keto might be for you, or you are afraid to try it, these tips may work for you...at least they will help uncover some of the myths about ketosis. In any case, I hope that these tips help you out, and that you can reach every single goal you set. Enjoy! 6
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