How to overcome boredom
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- Gerard Jonathan Logan
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1 How to overcome boredom Three ways out of the bad boredom for expat partners
2 Reason #1: Missing purpose Boredom not only comes up when you have nothing to do but when you feel like there is no purpose in what you do - at least not for you. The psychologist JohnEastwood defined boredom as the unfulfilled desire for satisfying activity. So if you see no sense and purpose in your activities you will feel the bad kind of boredom. And as this may have been different in your life at some point you know the difference and how fulfilling your life was compared to now. If this is the reason for your boredom you should start to fill the activities in your life with more purpose. Start with small things that you are doing already. Example: Making dinner. The purpose: My family stays healthy, my children feel a sense of belonging when we eat together, my family feels loved, I learn something new. Then you can start new projects and do other things on purpose with purpose Things I do every day This is how I can give them purpose
3 Reason #1: Missing purpose My values are I am interested in Ideas for purposeful projects that combine my values and interests
4 Reason #2: No control When you feel that you are not in control of your life anymore boredom may come up. This is something that you can see most often in teenagers. If this is the reason why you are bored you should think about all the areas of your life that you are still in control of. What can you decide? And how can you expand this area of control in the future? In this exercise please write down ten things that you feel you must do. Then turn the sentences around and rewrite them with I make the decision to or I want to. And now try and find or create projects or areas of your life where you can make even bigger decisions and take back the control over your life. 1. I must 2. I must 3. I must 4. I must 5. I must 6. I must 7. I must 8. I must 9. I must 10. I must Things I must do Turn it around: Things I can do or I decide to do 1. I make the decision to 2. I make the decision to 3. I make the decision to 4. I make the decision to 5. I make the decision to 6. I make the decision to 7. I make the decision to 8. I make the decision to 9. I make the decision to 10. I make the decision to
5 Reason #2: No control Which things or bigger projects could you decide next? What do you need in order to do that? How can you get what you need?
6 Reason #3: Avoiding negative feelings Sometimes boredom is the safer feeling that we escape to when we are avoiding negative feelings or situations. Most of the time we have the feeling that we can t solve those situations and boredom seems to be easier to deal with. But it is really worth it to work through those feelings and solve the difficult situations - and not only to escape boredom. If you thing that this might be true in your case then try to work though it alone or with a close friend or family member or hire a professional like a coach or a therapist. There are some things that you can t solve on your own. Don t hesitate to get help if you get the feeling you need it. There is nothing shameful about it. Quite the contrary it is a sign of strength. If you want to work though it alone, here are some exercises for you. 1. Sit with the feeling of boredom It is likely that you already think that you are really feeling the boredom - but trust me you are not. I bet you are trying to distract yourself with internet, social media or watching tv. But you need to get rid of all the distractions. Then really concentrate on the boredom. Where does it sit? How does it feel? What other feelings are coming up? Why? In this exercise really feel the feelings that are coming up for you and circle the ones you are feeling. If you experience other feelings write them down. Then answer the questions. If nothing comes up, go to the next question about the areas of your life. But please keep in mind: you are doing this exercise because you are avoiding feelings, so stick with it a little longer than you might think is necessary. Nostalgia Shame Longing Guilt Fear Grief Envy Homesickness Jealousy Remorse Mistrust Anger Disgust Denial Disdain Loneliness Despair Others:. Which feeling is the most prominent? Why?
7 Reason #3: Avoiding negative feelings 2. Take stock of all the areas of your life Look at all the areas of your life. Slowly, one after the other look at them and think about all things that are good in this area and the ones that are not. Where is the problem? Which area of your life are you avoiding? This might be the area that is causing you subconsciously trouble. Maybe there is something you need to work on. Be gentle with yourself and don t force anything. Health In the area of my health I feel good because In the area of my health I struggle because Family In the area of my family I feel good because In the area of my family I struggle because
8 Reason #3: Avoiding negative feelings Relationship In the area of my relationship I feel good because In the area of my relationship I struggle because Finances In the area of my finances I feel good because In the area of my finances I struggle because
9 Reason #3: Avoiding negative feelings Career In the area of my career I feel good because In the area of my career I struggle because Personal Development In the area of my personal development I feel good because In the area of my personal development I struggle because
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