Interview. If I could change one thing about getting older it would be the stabilisation of the mobility s of the body.

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Carmella Harris
5 years ago
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1 Interview How might we all maintain wellbeing and thrive as we age? My name is Inge I`m 63 old and it feels young because I feel vital and young at heart as if I am not 63 but much younger, This is, because I pay a lot of attention to my body conditions by food and excercises, yoga, walking and doing a lot of things. That makes me feel young. I like to be busy also with people and I`ll always find something to make or to do which gives me a lot of pleasure. I`d like to live to the age of 90, or until I loose my feelings of joy in life. If I could learn one new thing it would be play-activities with children. When I`m older I expect life to be smaller. All the activities of this moment will diminish, more time for the physical health, less time for other people, work or creativities. If I could change one thing about getting older it would be the stabilisation of the mobility s of the body. Figure 1 Inge at the time of the interview Intro Note: when we are talking about grandma, that is the mother of the father of my children. She is now 86 and lives in a service flat. She lost her husband of nearly 92 last month. Tell us a little bit about yourself I am an ex art-and-crafts teacher at Waldorfschool (high school), in Zutphen the Netherlands. I have two children (of 37 and 33) one living in the Netherlands one in Indonesia, both are in a happy relationship. I am single I like traveling, making art myself and teaching art workshops at home

2 Healthy life stile, exercise yoga and eating vegetarian is very important to me I do not own a car. I get around by bicycle and public trasport. Describe a typical day I wake up at 7:30, drink a cup of tea, go for a walk while listening to Indonesian lessons. After that I do my yoga practices and take a shower. Then I do a chore. I make soup and 2 sandwiches. Listen to BBC or, even better, an audiobook (its better because it can be replayed) in order to improve my English. In the afternoon I do various things depending on the day: doing groceries, visiting friends or cooking with a friend and having dinner. In the evening time flies. I watch TV until 20:00 after that I sit at the computer doing , research (finding a flight for example). Bedtime is at 22:00 but often that becomes 22:30. I read in bed a story before I go sleeping. I like it when I can go to bed on time, so I have a good (day-night) rhythm. If I get to bed too late it is hard for me to get asleep. What age are you and what s it like being your age? 63. This has its advantages, you have so much experience in live that you have a lot of self-confidence. Life I clear. You are not so fixated on appearance and expectations. You can deiced it is ok as the way life is and not spend so much energy on these things. I have the freedom to do what I want. That is one of the positive aspects. There is ageism, if you are 60+ you are discriminated because people think you don't count, even tough I can do everything. That is a minus point of being my age. This probably is true for people are still fit. When you get 70+ you may need more adjustments because you health deteriorates. So the prejudgment may be more just in that situation. You lose you social connections when you get old, children move out, your job ends, your health is getting less etc. What is happening in your life at the moment? I stopped working last December (if is June now). Worked for 3 moths in Indonesia with orphans. I am currently doing some work at school to replace a teacher that is ill. If I get bored I ll take up volunteering for the blind, I think. What one thing has changed the most in your life over the last decade or two? Children leaving house make a big difference. Relations; I hoped to find a life partner but I haven t succeeded. What one thing do you expect to change the most in the next decade or two? In 10 year I ll probably need help/assistance traveling. Although a friend of mine, who is now 80, could travel independently for long time. I ll probably have worst memory in 10 or 20 years, especially if I don't have any commitments. Getting Older in General What does getting older mean to you? Getting sick, being more at home, not able to be flexible, getting isolated, less able to support others because you are more depended yourself. When you can do a lot for others, people appreciate you. You don t get that positive feedback when you are getting less involved in society. Work at school is nice because people appreciate me being there. How do you feel about needing more support from others around you? You want to remain independent as long as possible, says Inge. That is why I life so healthy. Needing support may help you to make contact with others. Say if you need pedicure, of cleaning the house, someone is there with you. I am afraid, however, they will not able to cook (Vedic, vegetarian) like I am used to do

3 What do Care Homes make you think of? The current situation?? It has improved. You need your own things and privacy, but you also need spaces where you can meet people, do crafts, or go for a walk etc. These could be fun activities you do with others, like maybe making cakes. But elderly often don t feel like it any more, I noticed, so I am not sure. A garden is also necessary. What alternatives might seem better? I know there is a group people of mixed abilities and ages, living together, that help each other. This is an agreement you agree upon when you want to life there. You for example spend an hour of your day to help others like doing groceries. Everyone has his own apartment they have a shared TV/living room. What age would you like to live to? 90 What things would you still like to achieve? Yeah, for sure: doing things together. Like a living room restaurant. Get fluent an Indonesian and English. And getting at home in one of the orphanage. These are the short-term goals. No long term goals yet. Figure 2 Inge teaching Orhans to make a bracelet What would you like to achieve but think you may not have the chance to? Finding a life partner (I separated from the father of my children some 23 years ago). What scares you about getting older and what comforts you? It scares me to be home alone, when you don't have physical power, and there is some one at the door that overpower/violates you. I know elderly often don t even open the door anymore because of this possibility. It scares me that you can t comprehend thing any more. Like for example fixing the doorbell (mine is new but does not work when it rained). You ll need more money to do all the things you can t do your self anymore, that troubles me. It scares me when you lose your mobility, like grandma. It takes a lot of time for here to get to the door for example. Elderly often get fixed and judgmental in their opinions. This creates isolation. I don't like living isolated.

4 Health and Mobility How would you describe your general level of health? My health is very good, but there are some issues like osteoarthritis. Osteoporosis might be an issue too. I did have a treatment but the doctor does not want to do a check-up at this point, he thinks it is not necessary. I would like to know if the treatment has worked, you know. How has it changed over the last decade or two? I absolutely need to keep moving, so I do yoga and go for a walk frequently. Loosing my hair is a current concern. I have pills (minerals) that seem to help. I think I have a deficiency. You loos your beauty when you get old. You get ugly: get false teeth etc. Do you still consider yourself to be mobile? Yes (although I don't have a car) I don't need an electric bicycle yet, my friends do. I noticed I am slower than I used to be, for example when getting up a mountain. Are you able to get out and about to do the things you need and see the people you want to? Yes Do you exercise? Have you changed the kind of exercise you do or the frequency? I do now daily exercise do yoga and want to walk daily but don't do that every day. Have you had and shocks in relation to your health in recent years? Recently a dog ran into me when bicycling. I fall of the bicycle and what stunned for a while. I have some bruises but it could have been much worse, if I where not as fit as I am. What happened? How has it affected you? I am more cautious on the bike now. I am less trusting of dog owners keeping their dog well behaved. Did you manage to get back to your old self again? Yes How did this event affect your confidence? What are your biggest concerns around your health as you get older? To lose my mobility and so I can t walk, bike, swim etc. When looking at grandma but she has remained fit until 80. I have seen people in a wheelchair that need to be lifted in their bed. To be like that scares me. If you could change one thing about your current state of health what would it be? A couple things, like my big toe. I d like it to be more flexible. Or improve the flexibility of the spine. Being able to get asleep, even if you wake up during the night would be great (but younger people also have that problem some times ) What would it feel like to lose your independence? Very sad, it is one of the worst things that can happen. It is one of the big things I want in live, being independently. What would make it easier to manage? If there is a lot of sociability (good company), if you are having fun with the people that help you. Financial Wellbeing Do you feel like you have the means to enjoy the quality of life that you would like? Yes, I feel rich. Do you treat your family and go on holiday as much as you would like? Maybe yes. I would like to give more expensive gifts but my children have enough money to get these things themselves. But never the less I d like to get them a nice house and garden. How important is it to you to have money to leave behind for your family? If we are speaking on a scale it is not important to me. If I die now for example it would be nice to leave something to the children. But if I live to be 90, and used all

5 my money, that is ok too. If money was no object, what would you do to improve your daily life? Buy a beautiful house on the riverside with a beautiful garden for myself. (I currently rent my house.) In that case I would also hire a (female) grander and handyman to help me. Busy and Active How much spare time do you have to yourself? Spare time? It is true you get involved and get commitments even if it is just going to the doctor or hairdresser. I am not there yet because I do my chores, and exercises etc but I don't have the extra time I would expect when I get retired? Have you made a transition from work to retirement? Yes Was it difficult thing to adapt to? I did it cleverly by going to Indonesia. And upon return I painted my ceiling. Are there any activities which people of all ages can enjoy together? Going for a walk, eating together, cooking, painting, playing games, etc. Is this important? Very important! It's the spice of live. Do you go on holidays regularly? Yes I think so. Next week I attend a yoga festival. Soon I ll go with friends to Turkey. To an all-inclusive hotel with a pool, near the sea. What does/did work mean to you? That you belong to a group. You add value to the society. Do you miss working? What are the aspects you miss? The people, money, the subject matter? Did not miss it, but when I came back to work (to replace a teacher that is ill) I appreciate the contacts. I missed the challenges. There are always difficulties; with a pupil, the organization or the colleagues... There is always something to handle. It keeps you on you toes. But elderly might not want to be challenged. They seem to avoid conflict. Do you still feel able to work and frustrated that you had to retire? I retired voluntarily. And it is a good move, if you ask me. Have you found substitutes for work in other ways? Can you tell me about them? Volunteering with orphanages in Indonesia. Participating with the art community and teaching arts at home. I will take up more volunteer work if I have too much time on my hands.

Figure 3 Inge teaching at yet another orphanage in Indonesia Learning and Knowledge Sharing Tell us something you feel you know a lot about, more than most of your friends.

6 Figure 3 Inge teaching at yet another orphanage in Indonesia Learning and Knowledge Sharing Tell us something you feel you know a lot about, more than most of your friends. Is it a professional skill or something outside of your working life? Teaching children and raising them. A trade/craft, working with wood, clay, metal, Healthy living, in particular healthy eating. Vedic Cooking Do you feel like you ve had the chance to share this with other people? I don't feel I need to share them. I looked at a new young teacher and thought he needs to learn it all from scratch again. Even though you d expect the next generation to learn from the previous one. Is it something that could be of use to other people? How might you go about encouraging others to learn this skill? I d like to tell/teach people how to cook Vedic. I could give workshops cooking at home, although I have not a lot of motivation for doing so. Is this a strong part of your identity? I find it very important to help children to build their self-confidence. What would it mean to you to learn new skills and be known for something different? That is fine with me. I like learning new thing. Have you ever been through a career change and what did it feel like picking up a new or different skill? From stay-a-home-mom to teacher It is fun (even if it is difficult) to get the change to develop your self. I dread/ am reluctant to learn modern skills such at how to use a computer, laptop, tablet and smartphone. Friends of mine just chose the easy way out. It is harder to learn at this age. Your mind and memory are not working as smoothly anymore. That is a handicap/restriction to learn.

Did it change how you think and feel about yourself? I think so. Let me think what I came across. I learned to make more explicit choices. I learned I can say how things should go.

7 Did it change how you think and feel about yourself? I think so. Let me think what I came across. I learned to make more explicit choices. I learned I can say how things should go. Before that I did not have this notion. I did not have enough confidence. This grew over the years, when I became a teacher. Tell us about something new that you learned how to do recently! Indonesian language and cooking Vedic. Maybe in contact with other people. This means if someone does something that that I think is not correct, I leave it up to him or her. I don't interfere as much anymore. What is it and what encourage you to learn it? I have an Indonesian daughter in law. Cooking Vedic because it is healthy and tasty. A growing insight that people should go their own path. But being a teacher also means you can teach people other ways. Everyone is in essence some ones teacher in life. So I think sometimes it is good to say you could do this differently. I have a dilemma when I see people that are sick/unhealthy and have a bad eating or drinking habit. In that case I want to change that. When the neighbor smiles/laughs at me I was thinking she was ridiculing me. But now I decided to reinterpret it. So I decide not to interpret her laughing as ridicule, but just take it as a confirmation she has heard me. This helps me to accept myself, the way I am, as being ok. I do think elderly sometimes take it a step to far. As if it is no longer necessary to be polite or nice to others. It is some times good to follow your own desires. And just give short answers. This is both an advantage and disadvantage. Being rude may isolate you but it is more accepted to follow your needs. What does it feel like to learn something new at the moment? I still enjoy it. Is it inspiring or is it hard work? It depends; it should not be too hard. If it is too technical I avoid it. I like learning thing I already have the basic skills. I would not want to take up water skiing, flying a plane for example. I would like to learn to train/handle a dog. You would of course always choose something that is relevant or interesting to you. Figure 4 Inge and Bobby, her daughter- in- law s dog. If there was one new thing you could learn what would it be? Friendships and Mental Health Do you enjoy telling stories to your family and friends? Yes, but they don't like that so much. They only have attention for a little while. Are there other ways you record your thoughts to share with others? Writing. I kept a blog when working in Indonesia with orphans. What makes you happy? If something works out. If the dinner I cooked is appreciated. Playing games with friends. Good contacts with friends, to whom I am a equal. Freedom Appreciation, that is very important to get recognized for the things you do.

8 Have you had times recently when your social situation made you feel unhappy? I met a man that I liked. He wanted the assurance that I would commit to marriage. I can t give him that and now he does not want to see me anymore. That is sad because he is a nice man. Do you feel better now? Yes, friends are more important. I do want to invest in friendships Who are the people which you feel closest to? My children. How has your contact with family and friends changed over the years? Whit my ex (the father of my children) it has improved, it is more like friendship now. Are you more or less socially active than you once were? Do you make new friends often? How do you know when to start trust someone? Is it hard? Are there times when you wish you had more people around you? Do you use digital technology to help you connect with a wider network of people? Would you feel happy to let your friends support you when you become older. What kind of person would you trust enough to do this? Do you feel you need or receive enough support from other people? What would you like support with? Does it get frustrating that people try to support you when you still feel able? Do you spend a lot of time with people in your own age group? Does this bring you comfort or can it be frustrating at times? Do you find it easy to get on with people of all ages? Would you like it to become easier to meet people of different ages? What would you change? Environment and Technology Do you think the world has become an easier or more difficult place to live? Tell us about a place where you feel or have felt happiest. What was it about this place that you remember most vividly and why did you feel happy there? Can you tell us about a time and place when you felt less happy and help us understand what it was about the place that made you feel like that? Do you have a digital device, smartphone, laptop or tablet? What do you use it for? Has it made a significant difference to you? Have you come across Digital services such as supermarket shopping, Google, ing, Facebook, AirBnB, etc What s good about them and what frustrates you? What would you like it to be able to do? What hopes and fears do you have about the world as a place to live in the future? What will being your age feel like in 50 years time?

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Interview Starter Kit Great insights start with people so for our Ageing Challenge we encourage you to think about who you could talk with to build awareness around the issues we re focused on. We re eager