Successful Transitions
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1 Successful Transitions Learning Seminar Program Weeks 1-9: Spring, 2014 Paragraphing & Sentencing: signposting/showcasing
2 Today s seminar will determine where you are in the writing journey examine sentences and transitions
3 Subject Assess. 1 Assess. 2 Assess. 3 Assess. 4 Assess. 5 Assess. 6 HIST111 Week 4 Short essay 750 wds. Week 12 Long essay 1500 wds. Exam Period Final exam 2 hrs. Tutorial participation Ongoing 25% 35% 30% 10% SOC104 Weeks 4-13 Blog & class discussion. 20% Week 8 Essay 1500 wds. 40% Week 13 Blog diary 10 x 200 wds. 40% EESC104 Week 4 Report 1000wds 10% Week 7 Mid-term exam 30% Week 8 Prac, 2 or wds 10% Week 10 Asylum seeker letter 1000wds 10% Week 12 Poster 1000wds 10% Exam Period Final exam. 30% INDS130 Week 4 Week 6 Week 12 Week 13 Essay 1000 wds. 30% Quiz 1 15% Quiz 2 15% Essay 2000 wds. 40% ENGL131 Ongoing Class participation & presentation 15% Week 5 In-class quiz 15% Week 8 Essay 2000wds 35% Final exam TBA 35%
4 Subject Assessment 1 Assessment 2 Assessment 3 Assessment 4 Assessment 5 ACCY112 Weeks 4,6,9 & 12 Tutorial tasks 12% TBA Computer lab 8% Week 11 Mid-session exam 20% Exam Period Final exam 60% COMM101 Weeks 4,5,6,7,8,9,10,12 Tutorial/Lab tasks 28% Week 11 In session test Essay 22% Exam Period Final exam 50% COMM121 Weeks 3,5,7,9,11 Tutorial/Lab tasks 10% Weeks 4,6,13 In session online test 15% Week 8 Mid-session exam 15% Week 12 In session Excel/PHstat Exam 10% Exam Period Final exam 50% ECON111 Random Tests 25% Week 9 Mid-session exam 25% Exam Period Final exam 50% MARK101 Weeks 2-13 Tutorial tasks 10% Week 6 Mid-session exam 20% Week 9 Poster 15% Week 11 Group Report 25% Exam Period Final exam 30%
5 Upcoming essay assessments ENGL131: Week 5 In-class quiz (15%) INDS130: Week 6 Quiz (15%) SOC104: Week 4 13 Blogs (20%)
6 Couchman 2011 Review: what is an argument? a point of view a position a stance an informed opinion an angle
7 How do I develop an academic discussion??? Critically assess the information/ideas relevant to the topic/question/s Identify the range of points of view in the relevant readings. What are their strengths & weaknesses? Which point of view seems the most credible? Why? What is your point of view on the topic?
8 How do I present my academic discussion? As a series of main points or claims. These points support your answer to the topic. Each point to be developed in a separate paragraph. Every sentence in the paragraph will somehow relate to this point. Each point to be supported by evidence. Examples; explanations; reference to ideas of recognised authorities in the field. Overall cohesiveness Paragraphs (main points) should be logically ordered. Clear links / connections between paragraphs (main points).
9 Vivers, M 2009, Dealing With Difference: Evidence of European Women in Early Contact History. As historians attempt to reconstruct details of early contact between Europeans and Aborigines, evidence contained in the writing of European women appears to have been largely overlooked. In Australian colonial times women's writing was usually relegated to the private sphere and not seen as an important part of the colonial enterprise. There was, and perhaps still is, suspicion about the subjective, and possibly trivial, nature of women's writing. In any case, in spite of over thirty years of research and, more recently, some improvement in the use of women's evidence, there is a surprising lack of reference to primary female sources in texts that deal with contact history. In this article I look briefly at the writings of a selection of women who lived in what is now northern New South Wales and Queensland. This includes the edited letters of Jane Bardsley, which give an excellent account of a woman's life on a remote station in the Gulf region of far northern Queensland in the early decades of the twentieth century. I examine earlier information from the Hughenden region compiled between , found in Lucy Gray's original handwritten manuscript, now in the John Oxley Library, as well as the work of the prominent Aboriginal rights campaigner Mary Bennett, who spent part of her childhood in northern Queensland. Introduces the topic. Clearly states the perspective or point of view of the paper: her thesis. Indicates central focus of discussion.
10 sample student Introduction A Government web site (2009) that provides information to migrants about becoming an Australian citizen outlines those values that define national identity. These values include equality of men and women, equality of opportunity, tolerance and mutual respect. Future citizens are also told that these values are central to the security and ongoing prosperity of the nation. This essay examines these values in relation to the experiences of migrant women from non-english speaking backgrounds. Many of these women are subjected to exploitation in the workplace. They often remain invisible to unions and other organisations interested in workplace equity. Often they will also experience social isolation. Their difficulties in finding a way to live in this place are reinforced by gender and the language barrier. It will be argued that the experiences of many migrant women from non-english speaking backgrounds fall short of the ideals of equality, tolerance and mutual respect. Introduces the topic; identifies specific values. Provides context in which these values will be analysed; indicates central focus of discussion Clear statement of argument: the thesis statement.
11 Used with permission SOC103 example During the tutorial we discussed chapter 7, Micro-Sociology: the construction of everyday life and looked at the varying theories surrounding the development of the self and the social impact of that development. Sigmund Freud ( ) believed that our unconscious stems from biology and our social self is formed through balancing social interactions. George Herbert Mead, ( ) however, saw that the self did not develop without social interaction, as a subjective and objective view of self and others was required. Erving Goffman ( ) perceived us as actors, performing ideologically on the world stage avoiding embarrassment. (Macionis & Plummer 2005) Ethnomethodology and conversational analysis studies reveal patterns that emerge in our behaviour and in language. And the study of the sociology of bodies shows the myriad of ways we control the function and look of our bodies. (Macionis & Plummer 2005) What we were seeing then was the overview that the existing external structures of society influence the creation of the individual, and the individual contributes to the creation of society. We can see the reflection of society in ourselves using the looking glass self (Charles Horton Cooley ) and see the constraints and opportunities available to us through social agency. (Macionis & Plummer 2012 p.214)
12 Used with permission SOC103 example During the tutorial we discussed chapter 7, Micro-Sociology: the construction of everyday life and looked at the varying theories surrounding the development of the self and the social impact of that development. Sigmund Freud ( ) believed that our unconscious stems from biology and our social self is formed through balancing social interactions. George Herbert Mead, ( ) however, saw that the self did not develop without social interaction, as a subjective and objective view of self and others was required. Erving Goffman ( ) perceived us as actors, performing ideologically on the world stage avoiding embarrassment. (Macionis & Plummer 2005) Ethnomethodology and conversational analysis studies reveal patterns that emerge in our behaviour and in language. And the study of the sociology of bodies shows the myriad of ways we control the function and look of our bodies. (Macionis & Plummer 2005) What we were seeing then was the overview that the existing external structures of society influence the creation of the individual, and the individual contributes to the creation of society. We can see the reflection of society in ourselves using the looking glass self (Charles Horton Cooley ) and see the constraints and opportunities available to us through social agency. (Macionis & Plummer 2012 p.214)
13 Used with permission During the tutorial we discussed chapter 7, Micro-Sociology: the construction of everyday life and looked at the varying theories surrounding the development of the self and the social impact of that development. Sigmund Freud ( ) believed that our unconscious stems from biology and our social self is formed through balancing social interactions. George Herbert Mead, ( ) however, saw that the self did not develop without social interaction, as a subjective and objective view of self and others was required. Erving Goffman ( ) perceived us as actors, performing ideologically on the world stage avoiding embarrassment. (Macionis & Plummer 2005) Ethnomethodology and conversational analysis studies reveal patterns that emerge in our behaviour and in language. And the study of the sociology of bodies shows the myriad of ways we control the function and look of our bodies. (Macionis & Plummer 2005) What we were seeing then was the overview that the existing external structures of society influence the creation of the individual, and the individual contributes to the creation of society. We can see the reflection of society in ourselves using the looking glass self (Charles Horton Cooley ) and see the constraints and opportunities available to us through social agency. (Macionis & Plummer 2012 p.214) SOC103 example Introduces the topic.
14 Used with permission During the tutorial we discussed chapter 7, Micro-Sociology: the construction of everyday life and looked at the varying theories surrounding the development of the self and the social impact of that development. Sigmund Freud ( ) believed that our unconscious stems from biology and our social self is formed through balancing social interactions. George Herbert Mead, ( ) however, saw that the self did not develop without social interaction, as a subjective and objective view of self and others was required. Erving Goffman ( ) perceived us as actors, performing ideologically on the world stage avoiding embarrassment. (Macionis & Plummer 2005) Ethnomethodology and conversational analysis studies reveal patterns that emerge in our behaviour and in language. And the study of the sociology of bodies shows the myriad of ways we control the function and look of our bodies. (Macionis & Plummer 2005) What we were seeing then was the overview that the existing external structures of society influence the creation of the individual, and the individual contributes to the creation of society. We can see the reflection of society in ourselves using the looking glass self (Charles Horton Cooley ) and see the constraints and opportunities available to us through social agency. (Macionis & Plummer 2012 p.214) SOC103 example Introduces the topic. Provides evidence to support the idea in the topic sentence
15 Used with permission During the tutorial we discussed chapter 7, Micro-Sociology: the construction of everyday life and looked at the varying theories surrounding the development of the self and the social impact of that development. Sigmund Freud ( ) believed that our unconscious stems from biology and our social self is formed through balancing social interactions. George Herbert Mead, ( ) however, saw that the self did not develop without social interaction, as a subjective and objective view of self and others was required. Erving Goffman ( ) perceived us as actors, performing ideologically on the world stage avoiding embarrassment. (Macionis & Plummer 2005) Ethnomethodology and conversational analysis studies reveal patterns that emerge in our behaviour and in language. And the study of the sociology of bodies shows the myriad of ways we control the function and look of our bodies. (Macionis & Plummer 2005) What we were seeing then was the overview that the existing external structures of society influence the creation of the individual, and the individual contributes to the creation of society. We can see the reflection of society in ourselves using the looking glass self (Charles Horton Cooley ) and see the constraints and opportunities available to us through social agency. (Macionis & Plummer 2012 p.214) SOC103 example Introduces the topic. Provides evidence to support the idea in the topic sentence Analysis or so what does it mean and how does it connect to the topic sentence
16 Used with permission Introducing the topic: editing During the tutorial we discussed chapter 7, Micro-Sociology: the construction of everyday life and looked at the varying theories surrounding the development of the self and the social impact of that development. During the tutorial we discussed chapter 7, Micro-Ssociology: examines the construction of everyday life and looked at using the varying various theories surrounding the development of the self and the social impact of that development. Micro-sociology examines the construction of everyday life using the various theories surrounding the development of the self and the social impact of that development.
17 Used with permission Providing evidence: editing Sigmund Freud ( ) believed that our unconscious stems from biology and our social self is formed through balancing social interactions. George Herbert Mead, ( ) however, saw that the self did not develop without social interaction, as a subjective and objective view of self and others was required. Erving Goffman ( ) perceived us as actors, performing ideologically on the world stage avoiding embarrassment. (Macionis & Plummer 2005) Ethnomethodology and conversational analysis studies reveal patterns that emerge in our behaviour and in language. And the study of the sociology of bodies shows the myriad of ways we control the function and look of our bodies. (Macionis & Plummer 2005) Sigmund Freud ( ) believed that our the unconscious stems from biology and our the social self is formed through balancing social interactions. George Herbert Mead, ( ), however, saw that the self did not develop without social interaction, as a subjective and objective view of self and others was required. Erving Goffman ( ) perceived us humans as actors, performing ideologically on the world stage trying to avoid avoiding embarrassment. (Macionis & Plummer 2005). Ethnomethodology and conversational analysis studies reveal patterns that emerge in our human behaviour and in language. And and the study of the sociology of bodies shows the myriad of ways the body can function and be controlled we control the function and look of our bodies. (Macionis & Plummer 2005).
18 Used with permission Delving further Sigmund Freud ( ) believed that the unconscious stems from biology and the social self is formed through balancing social interactions. George Herbert Mead, ( ), however, saw that the self did not develop without social interaction, as a subjective and objective view of self and others was required. Erving Goffman ( ) perceived humans as actors, performing ideologically on the world stage trying to avoid embarrassment (Macionis & Plummer 2005). Ethnomethodology and conversational analysis studies reveal patterns that emerge in human behaviour and in language and the study of the sociology of bodies shows the myriad of ways the body can function and be controlled (Macionis & Plummer 2005).
19 Used with permission Analysis: editing What we were seeing then was the overview that the existing external structures of society influence the creation of the individual, and the individual contributes to the creation of society. We can see the reflection of society in ourselves using the looking glass self (Charles Horton Cooley ) and see the constraints and opportunities available to us through social agency. (Macionis & Plummer 2012 p.214) What we were seeing is seen then was is the overview that the existing external structures of society influence the creation of the individual, and the individual contributes to the creation of society. We Individuals can see the reflection of society in ourselves themselves using the looking glass self (Charles Horton Cooley ) and see the constraints and opportunities available to us through social agency. (Macionis & Plummer 2012, p.214). What is seen then is the overview that the existing external structures of society influence the creation of the individual, and the individual contributes to the creation of society. Individuals can see the reflection of society in themselves using the looking glass self (Charles Horton Cooley ) and see the constraints and opportunities available through social agency. (Macionis & Plummer 2012, p.214).
20 Final version Micro-sociology examines the construction of everyday life using the various theories surrounding the development of the self and the social impact of that development. Sigmund Freud ( ) believed that the unconscious stems from biology and the social self is formed through balancing social interactions. George Herbert Mead, ( ), however, saw that the self did not develop without social interaction, as a subjective and objective view of self and others was required. Erving Goffman ( ) perceived humans as actors, performing ideologically on the world stage trying to avoid embarrassment (Macionis & Plummer 2005). Ethnomethodology and conversational analysis studies reveal patterns that emerge in human behaviour and in language and the study of the sociology of bodies shows the myriad of ways the body can function and be controlled (Macionis & Plummer 2005). What is seen then is the overview that the existing external structures of society influence the creation of the individual, and the individual contributes to the creation of society. Individuals can see the reflection of society in themselves using the looking glass self (Charles Horton Cooley ) and see the constraints and opportunities available through social agency. (Macionis & Plummer 2012, p.214).
21 During the tutorial we discussed chapter 7, Micro- Sociology: the construction of everyday life and looked at the varying theories surrounding the development of the self and the social impact of that development. Sigmund Freud ( ) believed that our unconscious stems from biology and our social self is formed through balancing social interactions. George Herbert Mead, ( ) however, saw that the self did not develop without social interaction, as a subjective and objective view of self and others was required. Erving Goffman ( ) perceived us as actors, performing ideologically on the world stage avoiding embarrassment. (Macionis & Plummer 2005) Ethnomethodology and conversational analysis studies reveal patterns that emerge in our behaviour and in language. And the study of the sociology of bodies shows the myriad of ways we control the function and look of our bodies. (Macionis & Plummer 2005) What we were seeing then was the overview that the existing external structures of society influence the creation of the individual, and the individual contributes to the creation of society. We can see the reflection of society in ourselves using the looking glass self (Charles Horton Cooley ) and see the constraints and opportunities available to us through social agency. (Macionis & Plummer 2012 p.214) Micro-sociology examines the construction of everyday life using the various theories surrounding the development of the self and the social impact of that development. Sigmund Freud ( ) believed that the unconscious stems from biology and the social self is formed through balancing social interactions. George Herbert Mead, ( ), however, saw that the self did not develop without social interaction, as a subjective and objective view of self and others was required. Erving Goffman ( ) perceived humans as actors, performing ideologically on the world stage trying to avoid embarrassment (Macionis & Plummer 2005). Ethnomethodology and conversational analysis studies reveal patterns that emerge in human behaviour and in language and the study of the sociology of bodies shows the myriad of ways the body can function and be controlled (Macionis & Plummer 2005). What is seen then is the overview that the existing external structures of society influence the creation of the individual, and the individual contributes to the creation of society. Individuals can see the reflection of society in themselves using the looking glass self (Charles Horton Cooley ) and see the constraints and opportunities available through social agency. (Macionis & Plummer 2012, p.214).
22 So what???? I hear you snort! Weeeell
23 P1. It will be argued that the experiences of many migrant women from non-english speaking backgrounds fall short of the ideals of equality, tolerance and mutual respect. Note how the key ideas sketched in the thesis statement are pulled down in the following paragraph & specified. P2. Migrant women are frequently unaware of their rights in the workplace. They are commonly put in negative situations involving illegal pay rates; excessive working hours; sub-standard workplace conditions; racism and harassment (Singerman 1992). Gender, language and cultural factors can all play a part in keeping them from knowledge about their rights. For example, migrant women make up the majority of outworkers in the fashion industry and are often subjected to sub-standard working and pay conditions (Keane 1996). As Dyson has argued, these workers are deprived of the most basic rights enjoyed by Australian factory workers (2003, p137). These women can be expected to work twelve and eighteen hour days, seven days a week and be paid as little as a third of the award rate (Fares 1994; Keane 1996; Pender 2005).
24 Paragraphs (main points) logically ordered; clear links / signposts between paragraphs P2. Migrant women are frequently unaware of their rights in the workplace. They are commonly put in negative situations involving racism and harassment; excessive working hours; sub-standard workplace conditions and illegal pay rates (Singerman 1992). Gender, language and cultural factors can all play a part in keeping them from knowledge about their rights. For example, migrant women make up the majority of outworkers in the fashion industry and are often subjected to sub-standard working and pay conditions (Keane 1996). As Dyson has argued, these workers are deprived of the most basic rights enjoyed by Australian factory workers (2003, p137). These women can be expected to work twelve and eighteen hour days, seven days a week and be paid as little as a third of the award rate (Fares 1994; Keane 1996; Pender 2005). P3. There have been numerous reports of racism and harassment in the workplace, particularly from authority figures and English speaking colleagues (Keane 1996; Dyson 2003; Pender 2005). P4. In a study of the experiences of Italian migrants (Vasta 1991), migrant women talked about workplace situations where they were subject to excessive hours, substandard working conditions, and treatments from supervisors which they described as unjust and degrading P5. The minimal participation of non-english speaking women in unions is one of the primary reasons why so many of these women have been and are kept in the dark about legal rates of pay (Davis 2000).
25 Remember, too, that the Conclusion Will draw together the key strands of the preceding discussion and indicate how these key ideas support or prove your stated thesis claim. Χ Will not introduce new evidence.
26 Introduction A Government web site (2009) that provides information to migrants about becoming an Australian citizen outlines those values that define national identity. These values include equality of men and women, equality of opportunity, tolerance and mutual respect. Future citizens are also told that these values are central to the security and ongoing prosperity of the nation. This essay examines these values in relation to the experiences of migrant women from non-english speaking backgrounds. Many of these women are subjected to exploitation in the workplace. They often remain invisible to unions and other organisations interested in workplace equity. Often they will also experience social isolation. Their difficulties in finding a way to live in this place are reinforced by gender and the language barrier. It will be argued that the experiences of many migrant women from non- English speaking backgrounds fall short of the ideals of equality, tolerance and mutual respect. Conclusion The difficulties which migrant women from non- English speaking backgrounds face in their working lives can make adjusting to a new country and culture an overwhelmingly negative experience. The employment sector of the Australian community often fails to recognise the abilities, skills, potential, strengths and intelligence that these women can bring to their working lives. As Australia s population becomes increasingly multi-lingual and culturally diverse, the situation for these women in the workforce has to have the potential to improve. However, significant changes have to be made on many levels of the employment sphere to address the problems and difficulties faced by these women and to make employment a satisfactory, lawful, and even satisfying experience. It is only through making these changes that the workplace for these women will reflect those ideals of equality, tolerance and mutual respect that future citizens are told represent Australia s values.
27 Evaluating resources / moving the discussion along X states that X asserts that X points out that X takes the view that X concludes that X claims that X suggests that X observes that X proposes that X insists that However, Y argues that The evidence suggests that
28 Basic academic writing protocols Expanded sophisticated vocabulary No contractions No colloquialisms/slang No rhetorical questions No personalisation Nominalisation Passive voice 28 UOW Learning Development, 2014
29 Used with permission Incomplete sentences Based on existing argument whether social media brings value to the business or not an author examines social media and social networks used internally. In particular, looking at strategies that managers can use to incorporate these applications within organization. 29 UOW Learning Development, 2014
30 Used with permission Empty sentences This article contributes a lot to my research as it brings up the human aspect of social media topic which is main interest area of my study. 30 UOW Learning Development, 2014
31 Subject/verb agreement (singular subject) (singular verb) The study examines (plural subject) (plural verb) The studies examine 31 UOW Learning Development, 2014
32 Formality vs informality If you are bidding, sign up with agent before the auction starts. Prospective bidders must register with the agents before the commencement of the auction. 32 UOW Learning Development, 2014
33 Abstract and technical language Compare: We treat sick patients. Nurses care for patients with disease, chronic illness and injuries. 33 UOW Learning Development, 2014
34 Avoid personalisation If we examine the statistics, it is revealed to us that poverty and ill health have a positive relationship. An examination of the statistics reveals that poverty and ill health have a positive relationship. 34 UOW Learning Development, 2014
35 Expression of attitudes & opinions The new treatment is excellent. The benefits of the treatment are. 35 UOW Learning Development, 2014
36 Emotive language The conditions of the poor in India are disgusting. Poverty in India is indicated by these factors 36 UOW Learning Development, 2014
37 Support your argument I think that girls do better at high school than boys. Girls consistently outperform boys at secondary school level; for example, from , the mean female TER ranking was 15% higher than the mean male ranking (O Day 1999, p. 67). 37 UOW Learning Development, 2014
38 Nominalisation We spread the seeds around by hand. The manual dispersal of seeds. 38 UOW Learning Development, 2014
39 Passive voice Researchers observed low rates of hand washing. Low rates of hand washing were observed. 39 UOW Learning Development, 2014
40 What was one thing you learned today? What do you need to look at for next week? 40 Successful Transitions, 2014
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