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Peer pressure G i Under pressure? 1. What, Who, How? Your peers are usually people about the same age as you - friends, cousins, brothers, sisters, boyfriends, girlfriends Who are your peers? Tom, best mate We all want to fit in in some way with our friends. What things do you & others do to try and fit in?? When people talk about peer pressure they are talking about how your peers can influence you in the decisions you make every day about how you act, what activities you do, what you wear etc. It can be positive or negative.
2. What, Who, How? In what ways can you be influenced positively or negatively? Encouraged to join football Bunk off school You can usually tell the difference between positive and negative peer pressure by thinking about : How the pressure makes you feel What you think the consequences will be Whether you end up making the final decision for, without feeling controlled.
3. What, Who, How? Negative controlling peer pressure happens when you are afraid of what will happen if you do not do as another person says or does. You can t stop thinking about it, it s like a song repeating over and over in your head. You then end up doing something not because you want to, but because of that person pressuring you. What can people say & do to try and control you? Slag other people off for what they wear, making it clear that if you dressed that way they wouldn t be impressed Call you chicken if you don t do something risky Do good friends do this to each other?
4. What, Who, How? Peer pressure can end with you getting involved with stuff with your peers that: You don t want to do at the time Or you regret later once you ve thought about it Jot down some examples of when this has happened to you (draw or write): (e.g. If you were pressured into drinking you could draw a beer can) Did alcohol or drugs affect your decision? Want to stop this happening again and again? Want to make your own decisions? Read on!
5. PROVE YOURSELF wn - would you do it on your own? oice - what is your inner voice and your parent / carers voice telling you? - think good thoughts!
6. PROVE YOURSELF What peer pressure do you struggle with? Use the PROVE YOURSELF method to think it through and help you deal with the pressure...
7. Positive Thinking Everyone wonders from time to time what other people think of them this is perfectly normal. The problem comes when you do things only because you are worried about what other people think of you. You are less likely to be bothered by what other people think of you if you think of in a positive way. Everyone has times when they don t feel great about themselves, and the way to fix this is to fight off those negative thoughts with positive ones. Things that worry me about myself Positive fight back response *Use prompt cards if necessary
8. Watching & Practising Using the PROVE YOURSELF technique to resist peer pressure is easy on paper, but can be so much harder to actually do! We are going to look at some film clips of real-life peer pressure situations and look to see how the main character, Tracy, could have dealt with the situations using the PROVE YOURSELF technique. This should help you to be able to use the technique in your life. These are the two main people in the film clips: Tracy (left) Doing well at school Evie (right) The cool girl at school Changing clothes How can you tell that Evie is popular? How important is being popular to you? Getting on well with Mum and brother Group of friends that look out for each other Not in any trouble at home or school Doesn t get much attention from foster carer In no contact with Mum or Dad Involved in a whole load of stuff drugs, drink, sex, offending. Why does Tracy change her clothes? What thoughts do you think are going through her mind? Have you ever changed your appearance or your behaviour because you felt pressured? Go through the PROVE YOURSELF method and see how it could apply to Tracy. Just because some people are good at drawing attention to themselves doesn t mean you should pay attention!
9. Watching & Practising Stealing How do you think Tracy feels when she finds out that Evie has deliberately avoided her calls? How do you think Tracy feels when she says she only has $10 and Evie and her friend laugh at her? What effect will all of this be having on the thoughts in her head about herself? What do you think Tracy s inner voice was telling her when she saw Evie and her friend shoplift? Did Tracy listen to her inner voice? Do you think Tracy would have shoplifted if she had been on her own? What do you think Tracy was thinking when she stole the purse? Do you think Tracy would have stolen the purse if Evie and her friend hadn t made fun of her earlier? Do you think Evie is a friend to Tracy, or is she just using her for what she can get? Who is in control of Evie and Tracy s relationship? Is trying to impress really worth it??? Think about what you would do in the same situation to deal with the pressure (PROVE YOURSELF) Drugs You don t have to accept good offers What pressure is Tracy under to take drugs? What risks is she putting herself at by taking drugs? Think about what you would do in the same situation to deal with the pressure (PROVE YOURSELF)
10. Watching & Practising Getting personal Do you think Tracy would have got close to the guy she was with if Evie hadn t been doing the same with her guy? Do you think Tracy had sex because she wanted to or because she wanted to be like Evie? What do you think Tracy was hoping to get out of her experience with her guy? Was sex the only way she could get this? Was this a good time, place and person to have her first sexual experience? Do you think Tracy would have done this if she hadn t been drinking or taking drugs? If you thought you were going to end up in the same situation and you didn t want to be, how could you deal with the pressure? (PROVE YOURSELF) The right time, the right reasons? From the fun to the fallout...
11. Watching & Practising Choices have consequences Before watching this clip read this! Just before this clip Tracy has been told by her teacher that she has to stay back a school year as she has been bunking off, not doing her work and failing all of her subjects. Remember that before Tracy became friends with Evie, she was doing really well at school. How do you think Tracy feels about being kept back a school year? What decisions she made in the past have got her here? Do you think Tracy used the PROVE technique when making her decisions? Do you think things would be different for her if she had? The happy feeling at the time will always bring sadness if it is not what you really want Taking back control Before watching this clip, read this! Evie has been staying around at Tracy s most of the time during the film. After the last clip, Tracy s Mum says that she is not welcome at their house any more. You can always get back in control if you put your mind to it What does the way that Evie now treats Tracy tell you about their relationship? How do you think Tracy feels? Was it worth her trying to impress / make friends with Evie in the first place? What has Tracy gained and lost from having a friendship with Evie? What can Tracy now do to sort herself and her life out? Who had control over Tracy s life through the film? Who has control over it now?
12. Make the Change Have you ever been in the situations in these films? Do you wish you had made different decisions in the past, including maybe who you have made friends with? You can change who has control in your relationships. You don t have to be a puppet! a) You can stand up for what you think and do what YOU want to do using the PROVE YOURSELF technique b) If this is too difficult you can change your friends. This is not easy, but what is better making lots of bad decisions because of who you hang around with or making a tough decision that will mean you can have the success in life you want? You might not have to dump your old mates completely but start trying to spend time around the people who are more like you want to be. How to make new friends: Do you have a hobby, an interest, a sport? Join a club to do with that. This is an easy way to meet new people. Have a chat to your worker / teacher who can help you find out about them. Choose to sit next to different people from usual in class. If your mates ask why, tell them you just want to get to know some more people. If they have a problem with this remember that s their problem, not yours. Best of luck! You have it within you to take control! PROVE YOURSELF! Sam Ross, 2007