music Mmm. I love this time of year! Sleigh bells, mince pies, presents under the tree! What? Easter? No, silly!! Oh!! I m going to show you what a traditional English is like, starting with mistletoe. Mistle-toe? It s an English tradition. When you stand under it, you can kiss someone. But I am not under any mistletoe. You are now. Oh-ho-ho!! Oh, you poor things! You re stuck together again. Don t worry, I can help! There, panic over! Right, I m off. What? Another television party? Not a party, three more parties. And that s just tonight. But you ve been to a party every night for two weeks! I know, it s so difficult being so popular. First, there s a champagne party at the Savoy, then at nine o'clock I ll get a taxi to the Ritz and get 4Learning / Schulfernsehen multimedial 2006 1
changed on the way. What? In the taxi? Naturally. Ho-ho-ho. And then at eleven thirty I ll get a taxi to Annabel s. Annabel, who is she? Annabel s, the night club. Will you change your clothes in the taxi again?! And there I hope I will meet a young, handsome man, an early present! Sound of door slamming I hate! Did you have a bad day at the grotto dear? Ha-hmm! Nick, is that snow? No. Well, what s that on your beard then? I was holding this baby coo-goo-goo-goo, when suddenly ergh! Ha,! 4Learning / Schulfernsehen multimedial 2006 2
But children love. Hmm. Is the money good? N-Yeah. Well, stop complaining then! S-sss! Hector and I are going to have a lovely, aren t we Hector. Mmm. is all about parties and PRESENTS! So Bridget, have you got your stocking ready? Ha! She s taking her stockings off in the taxi! Ahh! Ha-hmm-hmm. Don t wait up. Sound of door closing Erm, what is a stocking? On Eve, you hang up your stocking and a big, jolly Father comes and fills it up with presents! Ho-ho-ho. Crashing noise/scream 4Learning / Schulfernsehen multimedial 2006 3
Who put that sleigh there?!! Ooh! My sleigh! I forgot. Oh-oh-oh! Sound of running footsteps/door slams/ music Mind my leg. Oh!! Assorted background noises Right, right. Whoa-whoa, not too fast! Oh, I feel terrible! Oh, poor Bridget, are you in pain? No, but what about the parties? I can t go like this! I could take you dancing! Ow!! is cancelled! Sound of cracker being pulled Hey, hee-hee-hee! Is that it? Yeah, crackers are great! So, what else do you have at? Oh, turkey, pudding, mince pies. Mince pies. How do you make them? Oh, it s just pastry and mincemeat. 4Learning / Schulfernsehen multimedial 2006 4
Mince meat? Yeah, it s traditional, it s sultanas, raisins and spices. It s mince Meat. Yeah, ah-hah Hey, listen to this, what do you get if you cross a chicken with a clock? I don t know. An alarm cluck! An alarm cluck! Ha-ha! I don t get it. An alarm cluck! Cluck-cluck-cluck, one a cluck, two a cluck, cluck-cluckcluck! A clock?! music [Composing email] Oh, I love. Mince pies, mistletoe. Mistle-toe? It s an English tradition, when you stand under it, you can kiss someone. [Composing email] Poor Nick is having a difficult time playing Father. I was holding this baby coo-goo-goo-goo, when suddenly! [Composing email] Those naughty children! He-he-he! [Composing email] 4Learning / Schulfernsehen multimedial 2006 5
I hate! I had so many exciting parties to go to. It s so difficult being so popular. [Composing email] But stupid Nick left his stupid sleigh in the hall. Oh, my sleigh! I forgot! [Composing email] I fell over it and broke my leg! Crashing noise/scream music Boom-dikka-ding-boom-ding-ding-ding right, mince pies! First, the pastry! And now the minced meat from the best butcher! music Mmm, they smell good, don t they Charley. Sound of door opening/closing Phew! Well I ve finished all my shopping. Oh madam! Refreshment? Mince pie? Mince pies? Oh Hector, you are clever. I followed the rec-eep. p. Mince p? No, no, no. Rec-ipe. Oh, rec-ipe. 4Learning / Schulfernsehen multimedial 2006 6
Mmm. Hmm. Umm. Good choice, madam. Merry! Yuk!! Something wrong? It s dal-icious, delicious ahm. Erm, you know, Hector, is all about sharing. Erm, would you like some, Charley? & Hmm/Mmm/Umm. Hey, it s Saint Nicholas! Oh! Nick, what happened to your beard? Ah, one candle, one small child woomph! Laughter Hey, mince pies, yummy, yeah! With best mince from the best butcher. Mmm. Erm, Hector. Hmm? 4Learning / Schulfernsehen multimedial 2006 7
What did you put in the pies? Mince meat from the best butcher. This is mincemeat. This is minced meat. Isn t it the same thing? Not quite. Ha-ha! Delicious! Hey, I ve got an idea! Let s make this a special, just for Bridget. Sound of knocking on door/ music MALE NURSE Night-night. Hey Bridget, do you want to come carol singing? Who is Carol? Carols are songs. You knock on people s doors and sing to them for money. Let s do it! Hmm! For charity! For poor little children. Huh! Some children have no. Just like me. 4Learning / Schulfernsehen multimedial 2006 8
And your job as Santa Claus is so important. You help children to believe in! Yes, you re right, Annie, I do. My job is important! I help children to believe!! music Right, let s go! I ll go, only if we can sing Abba songs. And that will make you happy? Here, have a mince pie. Oh, all right. music Ugh!,, & Away in a manger OFF SCREEN VOICE Dog in a manger, more like, good night!,, & Silent night OFF SCREEN VOICE I wish you were, all night!,, & We Three Kings of Orient are one on a scooter, one in a car. OFF SCREEN VOICE Get lost!,, & Merrily on high OFF SCREEN VOICE Get em Gnasher. 4Learning / Schulfernsehen multimedial 2006 9
Sound of dog barking,, & O Come All Ye Faithful, joyful and triumph Sound of dogs barking [Voice fades into background singing O Come All Ye Faithful] music Hi Annie, I like the tree. Oh thank you, it s nearly finished. Please, use these. My decorations. Oh, sweet, Hector. Are they from Argentina? No, Oxford Street. Aren t they great! Oh, great. Sound of door opening/closing Oh, hi Nick. How was your last day as Santa Claus? Great! Such nice children. One of them let me play with his binoculars! Really. Oh, and I ve just finished my shopping. But the shops are shut now. No, the petrol station was open. Look I ve bought my mum this. A map of Watford. 4Learning / Schulfernsehen multimedial 2006 10
But your mum doesn t live in Watford. Oh I know. She might go there one day, though! I bought shampoo for my sister. Car shampoo. Yeah, and after shave for my dad. Ha-ha-ha! Mmm. I like the tree. Ooh, but I love these! Hey, I ve got some too, it was the last day of the grotto today, so they were throwing these away. Ha-ha, can you believe it! Ha-ha! music No! music & Perfect. Well, it might make Bridget laugh. Why? I know, if Bridget can t go to her parties, let s have a party here! When? Oh, I don t know. In about fifteen minutes! Oh! Oh! Look at the tree! I know. It makes me want to cry too. What s the point of having if I can t go to my party?! Now just makes me cry! 4Learning / Schulfernsehen multimedial 2006 11
Oh, Bridget, cheer up. Tomorrow is Day. [Sound of crying] Have you got your stocking? Yes. Hah, yes, and I ve got mine! What are you hoping for? A motor bike? Ye-es! Why not? The only thing that will make this worse is if you invited all my friends round for a surprise party to cheer me up. Sound of knocking on door Ah. ASSORTED VOICES Surprise!! Oh!! [Composing email] Hector made us mince pies. And now the mince meat, from the best butcher! [Composing email] The problem is, he used minced meat, instead of mincemeat. Yuk! [Composing email] Oh well! He did try! 4Learning / Schulfernsehen multimedial 2006 12
They smell good, don t they Charley.,, & Silent Night [Composing email] To cheer Bridget up, we went carol singing.,, & We Three Kings of Orient are one on a scooter, one in a car OFF SCREEN VOICE Good night! [Composing email] People loved us! Joyful and triumph [Composing email] I also organized a surprise party for Bridget, she was surprised! Sound of knocking on door Ah. ASSORTED VOICES Surprise!! No-oo! [Composing email] Tomorrow is Day and Bernard is coming for lunch. What fun! music/sound of knocking on door Hang on, I m coming! BERNARD Ho-ho-ho, merry! Oh, hello Bernard, merry. I m sorry, we had a little party last night. BERNARD Erm, I m here for dinner. 4Learning / Schulfernsehen multimedial 2006 13
Isn t it a bit early? BERNARD Ten o'clock, time for a sherry. Bernard, where s your mother? BERNARD At church. Sound of TV being switched on Well I ll just go and get dressed. music To Bernard, Love from Annie. Ha-ha. BERNARD Sherry. Thanks, Annie. Nearly finished this one. To Bridget, Love from Annie. A a flea collar. I haven t got fleas! I m sorry, Bridget, wrong label. It was meant for Charley! Hah! Is she sure it was meant for Charley?! Ha-ha! To Bridget, from Hector. Ooh! Oh thank you Hector, you shouldn t have. What to Wear at Parties. Oh!! I bought it before you I ve got a little something for you, Nick. Whoo-hoo, goody! Gorilla because you are the original man. Whoo, ha-ha, it smells like a gorilla. 4Learning / Schulfernsehen multimedial 2006 14
Well, you should know. Ooh, I wonder what this could be. Ah. Merry, sugar plum. Merry, snugly-puppykins. One heart, forever. This will stop it! Bridget, nothing will stop my love for Hector. Sound of coughing Well music/sound of knocking on door EUNICE MOUNTAIN I just called to say Merry! Ah! Mmm! music EUNICE MOUNTAIN Ah! Hector, Mmm. Bridget, what has happened to you? I had an accident. EUNICE MOUNTAIN Oh, what a pity! You ve missed some fabulous parties, especially at the Beckhams. Elton John, he s a very naughty boy! Ha! Still, never mind, there is always next year. OK, must dash. Off to a top restaurant for lunch. Erm, Eunice. EUNICE MOUNTAIN Yes. 4Learning / Schulfernsehen multimedial 2006 15
Before you go, have a mince pie. Nick. EUNICE MOUNTAIN Oh. Spraying noise EUNICE MOUNTAIN Oh, I shouldn t. But, it s. BERNARD It s true, there is a Santa! And she s a woman! Wait for me! I want to tell you what I really want for! Ha-ha-ha! Hey, can you smell something? Yeah. Is something burning?! Ah, I forgot - the turkey! music/assorted noises/shouting Water, water, we need water! Not on me! On the turkey! Oooh! Assorted noises/shouting Move! Move! Assorted noises/shouting There, the fire is out. Anyone for turkey?! Shall we just have pudding? 4Learning / Schulfernsehen multimedial 2006 16
Erm, no mince pies, thanks. Oh, I have another surprise for you. Another English tradition. Chocolate log. One slice or two? music/sound of sawing COMMENTARY [v.o.] Next time in EXTRA, Nick wants to join the SAS, Bridget and Annie train the boys for action and why is Hector home so late? Hello, Hector! COMMENTARY [v.o.] EXTRA, don t miss it! 4Learning / Schulfernsehen multimedial 2006 17