Page 1 of SIDES @ PCA SIDES: LA BELLA FORTINA and OLENKA Act 1 Scene 1 In a spotlight, a stunning woman, LA BELLA FORTINA, sits writing a letter. She is dressed in a beautiful circus costume. At her side, a tough woman, OLENKA, waits. La Bella Fortina signs the letter and puts it into an envelope LA BELLA FORTINA This will get you on the payroll. OLENKA And then? LA BELLA FORTINA And then you find out where they are weakest. And you make sure they keep getting weaker. I want The Imperial Circus. It should have been mine. (she seals the envelops) By now they should be back in Elsinore, setting up the winter circus. OLENKA You re sure they ll hire me? LA BELLA FORTINA Claudius and Gertrude make a lot of money off their freaks - you and your tattoos will make a twisted addition to Freak Alley. OLENKA I heard Old Hamlet didn t like made freaks like me. LA BELLA FORTINA Good thing he is dead, then. (she stands) Look, my cousin is Russian and male. Keep feeding him vodka, flirt a little, and Claudius will be your little pet. OLENKA I don t flirt. LA BELLA FORTINA Work it out, Olenka. I want Claudius gone and my name on the sign. La Bella Fortina s Imperial Circus.
Page 2 of SIDES @ PCA SIDES: and We haven t been alone in a long time. No. I ve tried to talk with you. I know. I thought you might turn to me. Why didn t you? Everything hurts. And I can t help you with that? Silence. (continuing) You told me you loved me. I did. You "did" love me? You no longer love me? I loved you once. I want to return your letters. Your notes. What letters? The love notes you wrote to me. I wrote nothing. You did. Are you honest?
Page 3 of SIDES @ PCA What? Yes. What are you-- Are you beautiful? I don t know-- You said you re honest. Are you beautiful? You ve told me so, many times. You shouldn t have believed me. Ever. I am a liar, a pig. The world would be a better place if I was never born. This is insane. What s wrong with you? What s wrong with me? What s wrong with you? You marry and make babies. You lie with one man and then with another. You paint your face like a prostitute to hide who you really are. Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up! (grabbing Ophelia) It s a madness. End marriage. All marriages! Let go of me! Hamlet suddenly releases her. She falls to the ground. Run away, Ophelia. Leave this ruined place. It is ruined you know - my mother was right about that. But I m not the one who ruined it. Why does it have to be ruined? Don t forget your letters. (he presses them into her hand) And you should run away. I don t want to see you anymore.
Page 4 of SIDES @ PCA SIDES: and Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and.. and... and blessed is the... uh. I no longer remember how to pray. My heart is black with sin. He rocks slightly. Lights come up slightly to reveal Hamlet watching him from upstage left, a sword in his hand. He makes it so easy. His back is to me. I just slice-- Dear Lord, I beg your forgiveness. I cannot forgive myself. I am Cain to my brother s Abel. There! He admits his sin! How I beg you to see the horror in my soul at what I have done. If I kill him now, while he prays and begs forgiveness, his soul flies up to heaven. How is my father avenged? I will fall to my knees if you will but guide me. Claudius goes to his knees. If I kill him now, I m doing him a favor. Now, he is in a state of forgiveness. But his evil is so deep, if I leave him for another day, nay, just this night, he ll stain his soul once again. Hamlet backs away and the lights dim to the circle once more. Claudius climbs back to his feet. It doesn t matter what words I try to send to heaven. I have scripted Hamlet s death in my heart. The words fall back to earth and I am still unforgiven.
Page 5 of SIDES @ PCA SIDES: AND (with Ophelia) Give up the road? The constant travel? Give up the taste of dust? You think it will be so easy. For me, it will be. I want to go to school. You will be broke all of the time. I have saved a respectable amount of money. Be careful or you will spend it all in the first month. You don t need to be the one buying the drinks all the time just to make friends. Sounds like someone we know. Don t be smart. Just honest. Don t trust those people out there - they re just a bunch of gillies. They re studying to be lawyers! Exactly! They ll cheat you. Once they know you have a little money... How will they know? Don t loan them anything. I won t be a bank.
Page 6 of SIDES @ PCA When you run out of money - which you eventually will - you contact me. No lending, no borrowing. Got it. Can we go over to the cookhouse now? I have all these dukie tickets to use up before I leave tonight. Lunch is on me. This is what I am talking about! You ll give all of your money away! C mon. Let s go eat. You ll like our cookhouse, Horatio. They make a fried perogi that will tempt you into eating five or six or even ten-- And then you get fat and your catcher drops you. Only one, Ophelia.
Page 7 of SIDES @ PCA SIDES: /SVETLANA (BEARDED LADY)/ SVETLANA Is that blood? (snapping) Yes! It s blood! Blood? (flies to him) It s Pollonia s blood. Hamlet killed her. What? SVETLANA No! We have to hide it. How do we keep it a secret? SVETLANA You can t keep it a secret. Ophelia and Laertes won t allow it. Where s Hamlet? Where is Pollonia s body? He took her. (calling offstage) Rosencrantz! Guildenstern! (to Gertrude) I was already planning to send Hamlet away for awhile. To rest and forget his father. Away? Where? To Boris. You want to send him to your Cossack cousins? Who better to hide a criminal?
Page 8 of SIDES @ PCA Hamlet is not a criminal. Hamlet has killed Pollonia. I don t want to send Hamlet away. If you want me to cover this up, he must leave. SVETLANA Maybe the best thing for Hamlet isn t to cover this up. Really? Is that what you think? A scandal like this will destroy the circus. You ll be peddling your act at some third rate circus before before the week is out. SVETLANA Then we keep it in the circus family. But we tell Ophelia the truth. We tell Laertes the truth. Oleg will bury Pollonia in the field tonight. We ll tell Ophelia it was an accident. By the time Laertes hears of it, it will just be a tragic accident. In a couple of months we ll bring Hamlet home to you. You really want him gone. To protect him.
Page 9 of SIDES @ PCA SIDES: and Pollonia, you were an interfering, blind fool, but you were not the one I intended to kill. Hamlet covers her face. Remains at her side. Who did you intend to kill? Did you love him? My father? I loved him as though he were my star. His glance warmed my face, his arms brought me the greatest joy. Then why did you marry so quickly? Because I don t want to be alone. Why else? (crossing to her) Look at your locket. I don t need to-- He grabs it and yanks it over her head. Look at it. (he opens it) Two pictures. Two husbands. Two brothers. One, a great man. The other, a monster. Marrying me does not make him a monster. Look at his face, mother! Hamlet is aggressively backing Gertrude across the couch. He grabs her face and forces her to look at the locket. You are scaring me!
Page 10 of SIDES @ PCA You sleep next to a murderer and I am scaring you? Hamlet, you are now a murderer. For him. Look at his picture. My father, so like a Roman god in his appearance. So filled with kindness, with goodness. And then his brother. How do you compare the two men? Next to your first husband, your second is like a pile of elephant dung. This one killed this one in order to have you. And you went to him like a farm girl with no pride. He slays this perfect man and you marry him for it. No. You saw him tonight. You saw him react to the play. I didn t know.. Hamlet finally parts from her on the couch. Well now you know what he did. Stop saying it. You have ripped my heart in two. Burn that part of your heart that weeps for Claudius and stop going to his bed. Stop soiling your soul even further. Stop debasing yourself-- Old Hamlet s ghost enters
Page 11 of SIDES @ PCA SIDES: /NIKOLAI/VOLGA/CORNELIA/FRANCISCA Nikolai - are you trying to break my horse s leg? Our ponies cost more than your life is worth! NIKOLAI What do you want me to do? Sweep the whole thing with a broom? I want you to clear the boulders you ve left on the ground! NIKOLAI And I want you to go paint the cabins! I can t do everything. When do you do anything? NIKOLAI You pick up the pebbles. (dropping bag and making his exit) FRANCISCA This is what happens when you perform in a junky little circus. The Imperial Circus is a pretty decent circus and we are a headliner. Headliner, Francisca. CORNELIA We don t get treated like headliners. FRANCISCA We should be headlining our own show in a real theater. CORNELIA Someday we will. I have a new trick to try. And nobody else is doing it. VOLGA The flip from one horse to another? CORNELIA Shhh. We don t need to advertise it. VOLGA You ll never master it. Nobody will. CORNELIA I ve done it. VOLGA Once and it was a fluke.
Page 12 of SIDES @ PCA FRANCISCA You completed it? She did. Once. But it s too dangerous. FRANCISCA A trick like that will get us noticed. CORNELIA And I have another idea! I ride around the ring and Horatio swoops down and lifts me off the horse, I do a spin or something and then he sets me back down on the horse as she comes around a second time. FRANCISCA That would be fantastic. VOLGA It can t be done. It won t be done. Not by Cornelia. Not now. CORNELIA What is your problem? Are you jealous? FRANCISCA She s been this way ever since Hamlet went permanently crazy. You think I care about Hamlet? FRANCISCA Oh no. Not a bit. I care about keeping our job! FRANCISCA Maybe you flirt with the wrong cousin. Claudius has stripped Hamlet of his power. Olenka and La Bella Fortina approach. (putting on her bad French accent) Who is diss? You brought a friend to ze show? Bonjour!
Page 13 of SIDES @ PCA SIDES: AND Laertes storms in and lifts a gun toward Claudius as he storms across the stage. Don t move, Claudius. Just wait, Laertes. Just wait. My mother, what happened to my mother. It wasn t me, I promise. Tell me the truth. Why did you bury her in the middle of the night? What are you talking-- You think I don t hear everything? I still have friends here, Claudius. More friends than you do. Put the gun away and I ll tell you what happened. Hamlet has cost me a mother and a sister. I know. What do you intend to do about it? Are you the head of that family or not? Will you trust me? When you give me reason to. Come, away from ears. Laertes lowers his gun. Your nephew has destroyed my family.
Page 14 of SIDES @ PCA And he works to destroy mine. But I assure you, I have taken care of it. Even now, he is punished. How. I sent a letter with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to deliver to my cousin Boris Kazani. And in this letter? Instructions to kill Hamlet. Did the clowns know what they carried? No! They thought they were taking him away to hide out for awhile. He s dead then. If not already, then very soon. I m deprived of my vengeance. I thought speed was best.
Page 15 of SIDES @ PCA SIDES: /BERNARDO/ Hamlet s a mess. Ever since his father died. And his mother got remarried. Gertrude is already married? A month ago. How did she find a husband so fast? To Claudius. Gertrude married Claudius? When? A month ago. A month after Old Hamlet passed? Young Hamlet is having a problem with it. A month... So, he and the young lady have been a bit distant. Gertrude married Claudius. There s more. Barnardo and me, we, uh, we ve seen some things. Supernatural things. Every night on the road. We re seeing Old Hamlet.
Page 16 of SIDES @ PCA Here. By the King Pole. Every night. Exactly how many bottles of vodka have you knocked back when you ve seen him? It s not alcohol. I gave up liquor six months ago. We see him, Old Hamlet. Dead. A ghost. All gray. Does he say anything? Never. He tries. His mouth moves. Nothing comes out. Ever. We need to tell Hamlet. He s not right in the head. Not sure he can handle this. I still need to see him. where is he? He s with his French girl. The equestrian act. (gestures to the sign with a shrug) New. I don t think she s really French.