Critical friends at work Bob MacKenzie Introduction I regard critical friendship as a special kind of helping relationship. As a consultant who uses words, language and writing as interventions for development and change, I try to practise and facilitate it wherever possible (MacKenzie 2006). This is my take on friendship and critical friendship, which are related and problematic concepts, and which are variously understood. What of friendship? There are many types of friendship, each of which has potential benefits and disadvantages. The yearning for friendship has always been strong for most human beings. It can be understood as an interpersonal relationship, often formed through an implicit contract, which is characterised by an intellectual and emotional affinity. Friendships are expressions of trust and intimacy between certain people which are demonstrated differently in different cultures and contexts. Thomas Dixon has just finished a series of radio broadcasts for the BBC surveying shifts and expressions of friendship over the last 500 years (Dixon 2014). Mark Vernon has written eloquently on the philosophy and meaning of friendship (Vernon 2006). In the age of the internet and Web 3.0, with the proliferation of social networking, friendships are no longer enacted exclusively face-to-face. So it s useful to consider how we develop our respective critical friendship contracts, whether in physical proximity or virtually. How do I understand critical friendship? Bob MacKenzie 19.04.14 1
In critical friendship as I understand it, critical can mean variously key, crucial, and constructively challenging, whilst friendship denotes the nature of that relationship. Thus critical friendship can be regarded as engaging in critical reflection within a friendly climate to support transformation of an individual s or an organisation s practices. (after Achinstein & Meyer 1997). It is not in itself a hierarchical relationship, but it does require certain skills and values from all parties concerned. It s based upon trust, and is entered into willingly and mutually. As a rule, the content of conversations between critical friends is confidential, although there may be occasions when their insights, conclusions and proposals need to be brought to wider attention in order for new knowledge and practice to be shared. Critical friendship involves a blend of challenge and critical reflection on the one hand, and the co-creation of a collaborative, friendly, supportive personal or professional learning and development environment on the other. Hence, there appear to be two apparently conflicting roles at play in a form of paradox. One concerns friendship, and the other relates to a creative, positive form of criticism, which is distinguished by its intention to be constructive and developmental. About critical friends Much has been written about behaviours and qualities that contribute to what I understand as critical friendship. The literature includes detailed programmes for becoming a thinking partner (Kline 2009; 2011), reference to the more colloquial notion of a thinking buddy, and that of Peter Makin s concept of challenge and support partner (Greene 2006 ). In academia, critical friends or critical colleagues can also support action researchers (McNiff, Lomax et al. 1997). Critical friendship can be a formalised process (e.g. within an Action Learning Set), but it can also be expressed in spontaneous acts. It embraces a wide range of processes, each of which is contextualised by a specific discourse or community of practice. It s also possible for the same person to offer both uncritical and critical friendship at different times, as circumstances dictate. This flexibility suggests the complex dynamics that are implicit or inherent in the relationship. Bob MacKenzie 19.04.14 2
Sadly, critical friends are not always easy to find. So how can we spot and nurture them? Table 1 below suggests what we might look for. Critical friends are: o Trustworthy and competent, or potentially so o Able to lower their defences sufficiently to enable them to receive as well as to give constructive feedback o Mutually supportive o Reasonably available to each other o Intent on helping each other to achieve a critical perspective o Capable of understanding critical incidents (Tripp 1993) or arresting, striking or moving moments (Shotter 2011) o Able to give the benefit of the doubt to each other s learning, ideas, advice, experience and actions o Able to monitor and re-negotiate their respective psychological contracts, e.g. (Guest and Conway 2001) o Able to engage sensitively in dialogue (Schein 1999: 201-12) o Open to ending their critical friendship at an appropriate point o Careful to avoid collusion, or being sucked into a counselling or therapy role. Table 1: Some qualities of critical friends Critical friendship as a voluntary engagement Critical friendships come in various guises and have different life spans. A common characteristic, however, appears to be that of voluntary association, and of mutual commitment and responsibility. By this definition, formal coaching, mentoring or tutorial arrangements do not in themselves constitute critical friendships, but they may evolve into them if the interpersonal chemistry and conditions are right. For me, critical friendship is characterised by shared values, a thirst for intellectual and Bob MacKenzie 19.04.14 3
practical excitement, sharing various forms of communication, and relishing the sheer fun and pleasure of being in the real or virtual company of other critical friends. Critical friendships at work Because they are voluntary, critical friendships cannot be imposed. However, their formation can be facilitated. Yet essentially, each of us must identify our critical friends for ourselves. This may involve expressing our interests to likely candidates, being open to their offers, a period of trial and error at the early stages, and engaging in a shifting network of critical friendships as one another s focus, interests and needs gradually emerge and change. As in any effective helping relationship, relevant skills and behaviours for critical friendship develop with practice over time. Table 2, adapted and extended from Greene (2006), suggests ways in which critical friendship might be expressed in various permutations: o Building rapport and effective working relationships o Negotiation o Empowerment o Giving and receiving constructive feedback o Surfacing and dealing with assumptions and defences o Promoting evidence-based dialogue and action learning o Managing meetings o Performing or facilitating Critical Incident Analysis or Technique (CIT) o Supporting and challenging each other o Engaging in advocacy o Coaching and developing self and others o Skilful and fresh questioning o Active listening o Critical (self-) reflection o Action planning o Constructive debriefing o Defining outcomes and setting goals o Being friendly Table 2: Ways of being a critical friend Bob MacKenzie 19.04.14 4
A health warning Of course, we need to beware of idealising or being uncritical about the role of critical friends. We know that not all relationships are healthy or desirable, in that they can consolidate or encourage inappropriate practices, or create unhealthy dependencies. In inexpert or inappropriate hands, attempts to offer or accept critical friendship can be detrimental and damaging. It is not an easy role to play, and we need to adapt our practice of critical friendship to suit the specific context or discourse within which it applies. Different critical friends will behave more easily and effectively in some circumstances than in others. So we should choose our critical friends carefully, and negotiate with them how best to derive mutual benefit from our critical friendship. This process emerges as a more explicit contract. Conclusion Despite this caveat, I am a strong advocate of the potential benefits of critical friendship, because good critical friends have made such a positive difference to me, and because I have seen it at work to wonderful effect. Subtle and wise critical friends offer yet another dimension to, and resource for, facilitation. Acknowledgements I would like to thank my own critical friends including Alison, Peter and Julia who have challenged and supported me at various stages in my practice, and whilst I was incubating and writing this article. BIBLIOGRAPHY Achinstein, B. & Meyer, T. (1997). The Uneasy Marriage Between Friendship And Critique: Dilemmas Of Fostering Critical Friendship In A Novice Teacher Learning Community. http://www.ilstu.edu/depts/aeradivk97/y975-28.htm accessed 3.05.06 Dixon, T. (2014). "500 Years of Friendship. Omnibus." from http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b04016v4, accessed 16.4.14. Greene, M. (2006 ). Mastering Your Inner Critic: Releasing Your Inner Wisdom. Kidlington, Grovelands Associates. Bob MacKenzie 19.04.14 5
Guest, D. and N. Conway (2001). Organisational Change and the Psychological Contract. Research Report. London, CIPD. Kline, N. (2009; 2011). More Time to Think. A Way of Being in the World. Pool-in- Wharfdale, Fisher King Publishing. MacKenzie, B. (2006). "The Role of Critical Friends in Supporting Explication." Organisations and People 13(3): 40-48. McNiff, J., P. Lomax, et al. (1997). You and Your Action Research Project. London & New York, Routledge. Shotter, J. (2011). Getting It: Withness-Thinking and the Dialogical in Practice. New York, Hampton Press. Tripp, D. (1993). Interpretation: Creating Critical Incidents. Critical Incidents in Teaching: Developing Professional Judgement. London, Routledge. Vernon, M. (2006). The Philosophy of Friendship., Palgrave Macmillan. BIOGRAPHICAL NOTE I am an independent consultant, facilitator and writer, with a particular interest in the uses of writing and conversation in their various forms and contexts for facilitating personal, management and organisational development. I have worked and travelled in Africa, India, Europe and the USA, and I wrote my doctorate on A Learning Facilitator s Uses of Writing. bob@amed.org.uk; www.amed.org.uk. Word count: 1,498 Bob MacKenzie 19.04.14 6