Audition Scene 3 (Clara and Sam) lies up against a while wall. Her phone begins to ring. Hello? Hey you. Hey What s going on? Weird, weird stuff. Sounds like you. Ha, yeah, yeah it does. You okay? I don t know, ya know? Not really. Tell me. Well Doug is acting weird, and all this weird stuff is going on and I m just really really freaking out about it. Doesn t Doug do weird stuff like this all the time?
Not like this. Well I know you. You ll get through it. You re strong. You always know just what to say. Yeah, I m pretty great right? Shut up. Okay, call me later, I ll buy you dinner. Okay. Love me? Mhm. Love you. Love you too. Bye. Bye. Hangs up phone. Who the hell was that?
Audition Scene 1 (Doug and Clara) Camera pulls back from her eyes to show the conference room. is standing by a projector. What!? Okay things have gotten really weird in a very short time and you haven t explained a damn thing! That s why we re here. hits a button, turning on the projector. The Screen shows: A Damn Thing. Explaining T.F.I.W.F.A.A.A.D. to the Uninformed Character. By: Doug McAdams TFIWAAAD? Theory in which films are actually alternate dimensions. The multi verse theory? Ever hear of it? Sure, the theory in which an infinite number of universes existing on separate plains of reality, all living parallel to all other worlds. Exactly. Years ago, I found myself watching the Russle Crowe Masterpiece "Gladiator" Good movie. Great movie. But, it was then that I saw this
A picture is projected of a photo from the film in which we see a PD s legs behind a horse. Is that? A crew member standing behind the horse in some sexy jeans? Yes. But that wasn t all. I started seeing it more and more. Pirates of the Carabien, Transformers, Black Hawk Down, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! And not just the crew, continuity errors! The Matrix, Harry Potter, Transformers, TRANSFORMERS! So what? Movie errors happen all the time. All of this can be explained by un-careful directors and simple mistakes. That s what I thought, until I started looking through my own photos. Shows Photos of at a party with a boom pole in the shot. A boom pole? Oh yes. Were you filming something? No, but they were. And then I saw it more. flips through several more slides with things like that.
Birthdays, selfies, everywhere. Filming me, preparing. For what? The film.
Audition Scene 2 (Doug, Clara, Worker 1, 2, and 3, Vincent) What s the status? WORKER 1 Not looking good boss. steps back and address the room. Well damn it, someone give me some information as to what the hell just happened out there! WORKER 2 There seems to be a massive pulse of directorial energy. It s much larger than anything we ve ever seen. How much time do we have left? WORKER 2 Hard to say exactly, but it isn t much. We ve got to move fast! I want all workers on locating the source of that pulse! Unless your job level is Alpha 6 or up your assingment is to find that source at all costs! I want updates on the ten, five if you can. VINCENT! Show Vincent with a pair of shades on. He snaps around to face from his monitor. VINCENT Yo I need a witty and sacastic quip, T-mius two lines!
VINCENT Rodger Vincent turns back to his monitor WORKER 3 Lieutenant, I need executive access to the data base. Granted, the access code is ROAST Vincent turns around in his chair removing his shades. VINCENT Well i guess that s fair because our goose is cooked. runs over and grabs him firmly by the collar. You think this is funny rookie? The world is collapsing around us and you re cracking wise like some damn comedian? You wanna die punk? Is this how you wanna go? You can either pull your stuff together and save the damn world, or you can take your funny little tush out of here. My necklace! It s gone! NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR FANCY G GANGSTA BLING, THE WORLD IS ENDING!
Audition Scene 4 (Doug, Clara, Director) Doug? Yes? What s about to happen? I m about to fight the director so we can get the box, now take off my pants. I m not taking off your pants. They re breakaway, take them off. I m not taking your pants off.! IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT YOU REMOVE MY PANTS FROM MY BODY THIS INSTANT SO HELP ME GOD. I have a boyfriend. Grr! rips his own pants off This ends now, Mr. Director. Yes, for one of us. charges the and they fight, is shoved to the ground. He gets back up
I m not leaving without that box. Then I guess you re not leaving. attacks again and is knocked over again. You are weak. I can make you strong. Join me Douglas. Can I join you? No. Join me Douglas, and together we will rule the galaxy as father and son. He s your dad? Honestly, at this point, why not? I ll never join you dad! Then my son, I have no choice.