The Welcome Mat by Jim Walker
AT RISE: THE WELCOME MAT Jim stands in the narthex of the church, bulletins in hand, ready to greet people as they walk into church. Vera walks in and sees Jim. Carly sits downstage, dressed in black- black hooded sweatshirt. Looking lonely. Jim? Morning, Vera. Jim. Just what do you think you re doing? Huh? What? I m greeting. It s my week to greet. Oh no. No, no, no, no no. Not you. Not this morning. What? Do you have any idea how important this job is? Yeah. Sure. I m know. No. I don t think you do. I m on the administrative board. You re not. I see the actual numbers... Numbers? Yes. We re losing people. And that means we re losing money. If this keeps up, this church is going to close. Do you realize that?
2. Well, I guess I really haven t thought about it in those terms... And it all begins right here. If people aren t welcomed right, they aren t going to come back. And this...(looking Jim over)... Isn t right. What...? Someone s going to walk in here, look at this and walk right back out. Hey! No. Deal with it. Tough love. Everything has to be perfect here. That s why the board sent me out here. And that s why I made this. Vera unrolls a rather large welcome mat. Of course, it say welcome on it. She places it nicely on the ground. There. Perfect. (she grabs the bulletins and pushes Jim to the side) Now, watch and learn. Standing straight. Big smile. Bulletins in left arm. Right hand ready to offer a welcoming shake. See? Like this. Okay... Michael enters. Hey. Morning Mike. Hello. Jim welcomes him. He steps on the welcome mat. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! What are you doing?! No. Off the mat! Off!
3. What? I made this mat special for visitors. Now get off! Vera- I thought you were going to welcome. Yeah. But not our people. MOM Hey. Hello. Would someone be willing to hold this door... A mother with a stroller walks in. She s struggling but gets no help. Whoa, whoa, whoa. No kids in the sanctuary. You know the rules. Nursery s downstairs in the basement. Vera, I thought we were welcoming. Pause. No. She s a member. And so is he. They re already on the rolls. We need NEW people. New people? Yes. Why do you think we re doing all this? We put up the signs. We sent out a direct mailing. We even have that cool new pastor preaching this morning... Yeah. Pastor s really nice. Should be great. Actually we haven t even met. But who cares? We need to get new people in the doors and into these pews and money into the plate.
4. Um... Who s this? Oh. This is Vera. She s on the board... Nice to meet you. I ll have you know I ve been a member here my whole life... Oh. Sorry. It s just, I haven t seen you in church before... Well, I don t usually come on Sunday mornings... But my grandfather built this church, and I ll be darned if it closes because of bad hospitality. Now back up. Al wanders in. Al looks a little rag-tag. Hey. Good morning. Good morning. (to Jim) No. Shush. Quiet. I m greeting here. Not you. Pause. Vera looks Al over. She is speechless. Uh. Hello? Yes? May I help you? Uh. Yeah. I got this flyer in the mail from your church. It s got a picture of all kinds of different people hanging out together and says free lunch.
5. Flyer? Flyer? I don t know. I think you re mistaken. We didn t send out a flyer. Do you guys know anything about a flyer...? Well... NO! Shush! (towards Jim) Well, it says First Church right on it. This is First Church, right? No. No. No. That must be a typo. You re in the wrong place. This flyer is for the church down the street. Why don t you go down there? Kay? Pause. As they stare at each other. Really? Yes. Really. Now get off my mat. Shew. Al exits confused. Vera. What are you doing? No. I m sorry, but we cannot have people like that in this church. No. People like what? You know. Like...dirty. But I thought...
6. Jim, do you have any idea what kind of people that attracts? If we let that guy in here, soon we d look like a charity ward. A sweet, young, nicely dress couple enters. Ah. Here we go. Look at this. We just hit the jackpot. A nice, sweet, young couple. See? Nicely dressed. Probably very polite. AND they probably both have jobs. Let s go get em. (To the couple) Good morning, welcome to First Church. We re so delighted that you chose to worship with us today. Why thank you. Thanks. Thanks. Beautiful church. Yes. It is. Are you two new to the area... Uh. Not really. We ve lived right across the street for almost ten years now. We just saw your sign out there and said what the heck. Oh. Well. How nice. Welcome. (Vera gestures for them to walk on her special mat) Tink and Drayton pause and look at each other. Come on. Welcome. You can do it. Come on. Welcome. Al comes wandering back in and right onto the mat. Excuse me. Hey, hey, hey. No. Not you again. I thought I told you to get out. I m sorry. I just have one question...
7. Sir. Please get off of the mat. Why does this flyer match the sign outside? Sir. Please. Off. (pointing to the young couple) You two. Welcome. Come. Now. Uh. I don t know. This seems weird. (like a stern teacher) No. Welcome. Now. Let s go. Hey, I m starving here. I d love to have some lunch. No. I said - OUT! (to the couple) You. Sweet young couple. Come! Wait a minute. Sweet young couple? Us? No, no, no. We re not together. I mean, we re not together together. Not together? Well, why not? Er... Well... We re just friends...you know... Just friends? Yeah. Just friends...
8. Pause. Wait a minute. What? You mean...? Uh... Uncomfortable pause. Well, I m sorry. I don t know what you were expecting, but we re not that kind of church. You going to have to go. Hey! Come on. Now, that s not right. What?! How dare you?! Vera! (to Tink) Hey, I m sorry. Everyone is welcome here. Thank you. Oh, no they aren t. Please. Welcome. No! No! Get off of my mat. You re not welcome! (Turning to Mike and Jim) And you two -- do you mean to tell me that you re with them? Well, sure. I mean... You can t welcome some and not welcome others.
9. (Gasp!) I knew it! Well, if you re with them, then you re not with us. You guys aren t welcome either. What? You can t unwelcome us. Oh, yes I can. You forget - I m on boarrd. My grandfather built this church. Now, get out. This is ridiculous! The mat says welcome. You made it yourself. No it doesn t! No it doesn t. Yes. It does. Vera lays down on the mat, covering the word welcome with her body. See? What s it say now?! Huh, smarty?! I ll tell you what. Now it says -- read my lips -- GET OUT OF MY CHURCH! Suddenly the pastor enters. LATETA What on earth is going on out here? Is everyone okay? Um... We don t know the answer to that yet. And who in the world are you?! Vera -- this is the new pastor. Pastor Burns...? OUT! Out, out, out, out, out! OUT! Vera screams.
10. Pause. Oh no. Oh no. It s... It s happening again. It s happening again. Now what? I... I can t... move. I can t move. You can t move? Oh No! I m paralyzed. I can t... Move! Help! Help me. What in the world is the matter with you people? I always wondered what happens in these churches. I guess now we know. Crazytown. Yeah. They meet people who are different than they are and they turn to stone... Hey look. Now we can just walk right over her. No!! Help!!! Help me!!! No way, lady. Al goes to step over her. Wait. Don t. We can t welcome some and not others. We have to help her. Well... Now what? Call an ambulance? LATETA No. Let s take her to Jesus. Here. Everyone get a corner.
11. Jesus? You guys know Jesus? LATETA Yeah. Kind of. Jesus is down under the bridge. We ll have to lower her down. Everyone grab a corner. They carry Vera on the mat to where Carly is. The whole time Vera is chastising them and chiding them and just being a pain. No. You can t take me to Jesus. I have to go to church! Let me go! Let me down! Wait til I tell the session about this. Here we are. Lower her down to Jesus. Jesus! You ll be sorry you brought Jesus into this. They lower her before Carly. Vera looks at Carly, who is homeless- living under the bridge. Pause. Vera is changed. Jesus? Wait a minute. You re not Jesus. Wait a minute... Do you... live down here...? CARLY Whatever you do for the least of these, you do for me. Pause. Whatever you do for the least of these, you do for me. What ever you do for the least of these, you do for me. Whatever you do for the least of these, you do for me. Then Vera moves her arm and reaches toward Carly. Everyone gathers and helps Vera up.
12. Pick up your mat and go. CARLY She picks up her mat, takes it back to the narthex, but takes Carly with her. Lays down the mat. Each person walks over the mat and is welcomed by Vera. Carly is last to be welcomed. In the end, the group is on one side of the mat, Vera is on the other. They all put out their hands and welcome her across.