Are You a Candidate to Read This Book? Take our quiz to find out. Simply mark Y for Yes or N for No on the line before each entry. About You Some days you ask yourself, Why do I bother to do nice things for my husband? He doesn t even notice them. You wonder, What s in it for me? You fear the word divorce. Sometimes you just don t get him. Sometimes you feel like a hired servant (and your pay isn t worth it). You wonder if he really loves you, if he really cares. You re the one who always takes the initiative for anything you do as a couple. You feel like you re the only one holding the family together. You re not sure you really need or want your husband anymore. You wonder where your knight in shining armor went. About Your Husband He never (or rarely) listens to you, even when you have something important to say. He s a good guy but clueless about how you really feel about anything.
He never helps out around the house. When he s angry, he freezes you out. You ask him a question and you don t get an answer. You wonder if he s hard of hearing or just ignoring you. He s singly focused on his work and other projects, and you don t seem to come into his radar. He doesn t give you much respect. He takes you and everything you do for granted. He is abusive in words and/or actions. He s a romantic no-show. (Flowers once a year on Valentine s Day just isn t enough.) He treats you like a slave, at his beck and call. You have to remind him over and over again if there s something you want him to do. About Your Relationship Sometimes you wonder, Where s the man I dated? The man I married? Marriage isn t anything like what you d dreamed of, and you have to admit you re disappointed. Late at night you wonder if your marriage is going to make it. You have active and continual conflict. The romance is long gone. Your communication could use some improvement. (You re a little tired of talking to yourself.) You wish your relationship was so much more than it is. You wish you had a great marriage like your best friend s. You re the only one trying to make the marriage work.
If any of these topics resonated with you and you marked even one Y, you need to not only read this book but carry it around with you. This book will scratch where you itch. I promise.
Have a new husband by Friday? Is it possible? To tell you the truth, it s a scam. You can have a new husband by Wednesday if you do it right. Keep reading, and I ll show you how. This is the miracle turnaround you re longing for. I guarantee it.
Have a New Husband by Friday How to Change His Attitude, Behavior & Communication in 5 Days Dr. Kevin Leman O
2009 by Kevin Leman Published by Revell a division of Baker Publishing Group P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287 www.revellbooks.com Paperback edition published 2011 ISBN 978-0-8007-2088-9 Printed in the United States of America All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means for example, electronic, photocopy, recording without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews. The Library of Congress has cataloged the original edition as follows: Leman, Kevin. Have a new husband by Friday : how to change his attitude, behavior & communication in 5 days / Kevin Leman. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references. ISBN 978-0-8007-1912-8 (cloth) 1. Marriage Religious aspects Christianity. I. Title. BV835.L46 2009 646.7 8 dc22 2009008746 To protect the privacy of those who have shared their stories with the author, some details and names have been changed. 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Contents Acknowledgments 15 Introduction Satisfaction Guaranteed 17 How would you like your new husband delivered? UPS, FedEx? (US mail is available, but at a slightly higher rate.) Or would you like him delivered via personal courier? Monday Secrets Revealed 21 Yes, you re different species, but you can work together in harmony. Tuesday Creatures from Another Planet... or Creatures of Habit? 53 To understand men, you have to track em to their den. Bonus Section 83 Ain t Got No Respect 85 Are You Trying to Turn Your Zebra into a Horse? 99 Wednesday Think about What You Want to Say, Then Divide It by Ten 113 How to talk so your guy will really listen... and listen so your guy will really talk. 13
Contents Thursday Think of Him as a Seal Waiting for a Three-Pound Fish 149 Why making love to your man is a key to who he is and how satisfied he ll be, and what s in it for you. Friday It Takes a Real Woman to Make a Man Feel Like a Real Man 173 How to open your man s heart, revolutionize your love life, and turn him into the knight you ve always dreamed of. What Would You Do If...? 197 Take this quick quiz to find out if your gut is on the money or off the mark. Epilogue It s Not Easy, but It s Simple 201 The Top Ten Countdown to Having a New Husband by Friday 203 What Would You Do If...? Quiz Answers 205 Notes 213 About Dr. Kevin Leman 215 Resources by Dr. Kevin Leman 217 14
Introduction Satisfaction Guaranteed How would you like your new husband delivered? UPS, FedEx? (US mail is available, but at a slightly higher rate.) Or would you like him delivered via personal courier? Do you remember those first euphoric moments you shared with your spouse after you d become one? The dreams, the hopes, the desires that came along with that excitement? The nights you talked and cuddled in each other s arms BC (before children)? But perhaps it seems like you re dredging up ancient history by this point. You ve been married 5 years, 8 years, 17 years, or 27 years, and you ve moved past euphoria and into reality (just long enough for the wedding flowers to wilt). You don t always like this guy you married. Some days he annoys you; some days he downright exasperates you. The last time you heard I love you was on Valentine s Day two years ago. You re tired of your discussions, and you often seem to be at cross purposes. You 17
Introduction wish he d listen better, be a better daddy, and get off the couch every once in a while during football season. You find yourself struggling to keep the marriage fresh and exciting. You ve fallen into a rut. You wonder, How did we get this way anyway? Life with the knight of your dreams has turned into boredom with no hope of reprieve. You d like to find a little excitement again. Or perhaps you deal day in and day out with verbally or physically abusive or controlling men. You re beaten down, tired, and not sure if you want a new husband... at least not the one you have. You re ready to trade your old model in for good, but you ve decided to give it one last-ditch effort to see if you want to save your marriage. (Hang on. I have a special section just for you.) So many couples settle for so little in marriage when they could have so much. Don t fall for it. The truth is, after 10, 25, or 35 years, your marriage can be as rich and full and wonderful and exciting and sensual as you can possibly imagine! I ought to know. I ve been married for over 40 years in a row to the same woman and we re still going as strong as the Energizer Bunny. Some things in this book you ll like, others you won t. You can feel free to argue with me at any time. All I ask is that you hear me out. You picked up this book for a reason. The title attracted you. Who wouldn t want a new husband by Friday? Every woman is, at heart, a Martha Luther a reformer. And she has plans for her man. Is it possible? you wonder. I ve been working on him for years, and I ve never been able to change him. Now this psychologist guy says I can get a new husband by Friday? This I gotta see! But if it works... Yes, the principles in this book do work. They ve been tried out in thousands of relationships with very successful results. Best of all, they re simple. You don t need to schedule three luncheons with your girlfriends to discuss them and figure them out. Your man is 18
Introduction a very simple creature. If you do a few things right and consistently to get his attention, you ll be surprised by how simple this really is. Hopefully then you ll call your girlfriends and say, Hey, you re going to have to read this book. It works incredibly well! Follow these principles, and you ll have your new husband by Friday. He ll do anything for you. Got that? Anything. Covers the waterfront, doesn t it? That means you ll have a husband who wants to please you emotionally, intellectually, physically, and spiritually. He ll be your equal partner, helping out with any task that needs doing. Have a New Husband by Friday is a simple game plan you can follow. It s not easy, but it s simple. The changes you ll see in your husband s attitude, behavior, and communication will astound you. I guarantee it. It all starts with getting to know this two-legged creature you walked down the aisle with. 19