Level 3 exemplars and comments. Paper 1 Sample 1: Part I, Section C, Question 9

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1 Level 3 exemplars and comments Paper 1 Part I, Section C, Question 9 1

2 Part I, Section C, Question 9 2

3 Part I, Section C, Question 9 3

4 Part I, Section C, Question 9 4

5 Part I, Section C, Question 9 Comments This response concentrated on Walter and Kitty in terms of the different types of duty they perform in The Painted Veil. The observations made about Walter and the way he fulfils his duties in marriage and career are by and large relevant and adequate. What was said about Kitty, however, could have been strengthened, particularly the transformation of her attitude towards her duty as wife in Mei Tan Fu. To attribute the change solely to her appreciation of Walter s devotion and commitment to fighting the spread of cholera seems somewhat simplistic. A reconsideration of the environment of Mei Tan Fu, the characters Kitty befriends, and the challenges and experiences she undergoes in the new environment all this would have allowed the candidate new insights into Kitty s character and possibly a more penetrating and comprehensive analysis in addressing the question. 5

6 Sample 2: Part I, Section D, Question 14 6

7 Sample 2: Part I, Section D, Question 14 7

8 Sample 2: Part I, Section D, Question 14 8

9 Sample 2: Part I, Section D, Question 14 9

10 Sample 2: Part I, Section D, Question 14 Comments Some valid and well-grounded comments were offered to explain why Dee ( Everyday Use ) and the narrator of Cathedral are deemed the most irritating characters in the set texts. The candidate rightly focussed on their qualities, such as rudeness, feeling of superiority, class and disability prejudice, and a lack of awareness of the negative impact of their own actions and language on others to paint a picture of the characters as annoying and unwelcoming. However, the discussion was marred by undeveloped and/or irrelevant details, e.g. it is unclear how the symbol of the quilt and narrative point of view exactly relate to the characters irritating behaviour. 10

11 Paper 2 Section B, Question 5 11

12 Section B, Question 5 12

13 Section B, Question 5 13

14 Section B, Question 5 Comments (i) (ii) (iii) This answer merely explains what is happening in each poem through heavy quotation. No real differences are identified. Three strong images correctly identified and somewhat supported. A fair attempt here at not only identifying techniques but also understanding their function in the poem. 14

15 Sample 2: Section C, Question 7 15

16 Sample 2: Section C, Question 7 16

17 Sample 2: Section C, Question 7 Comments (i) (ii) (iii) Candidate does pick-up on how the use of repetition reflects the endlessness of domestic duty. However, confuses the reader with reference to how busy they are and she needs to float across the sky. Goes off on a tangent to discuss women in today s society. Correctly interprets stanza 2 as more of a prayer, and touches on how the use of pauses affects tone. However, confusion in the final paragraph here weakens the answer. Unattempted. 17

18 Paper 3 Creative Writing: Hazel Brown 18

19 Creative Writing: Hazel Brown 19

20 Creative Writing: Hazel Brown 20

21 Creative Writing: Hazel Brown 21

22 Creative Writing: Hazel Brown 22

23 Creative Writing: Hazel Brown 23

24 Creative Writing: Hazel Brown 24

25 Creative Writing: Hazel Brown 25

26 Creative Writing: Hazel Brown 26

27 Creative Writing: Hazel Brown Comments The candidate tries to build an atmosphere of suspense and tries to provide a twist in the plot to arouse readers interest. However, the plot development, which is important to capture the readers' attention, has not been worked out convincingly. The plot is thin and characterisation is quite weak. The candidate tries to use the symbol of Hazel Brown as in the title but the metaphorical meaning of this has not been explained. There is quite a lot of repetitive description in the story. The candidate also needed to produce a more convincing ending to the story. 27

28 Sample 2: Extended Essay: How social stigma lead to loss of humanity among characters in The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas and Boys Don t Cry 28

29 Sample 2: Extended Essay: How social stigma lead to loss of humanity among characters in The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas and Boys Don t Cry 29

30 Sample 2: Extended Essay: How social stigma lead to loss of humanity among characters in The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas and Boys Don t Cry 30

31 Sample 2: Extended Essay: How social stigma lead to loss of humanity among characters in The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas and Boys Don t Cry 31

32 Sample 2: Extended Essay: How social stigma lead to loss of humanity among characters in The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas and Boys Don t Cry 32

33 Sample 2: Extended Essay: How social stigma lead to loss of humanity among characters in The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas and Boys Don t Cry 33

34 Sample 2: Extended Essay: How social stigma lead to loss of humanity among characters in The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas and Boys Don t Cry 34

35 Sample 2: Extended Essay: How social stigma lead to loss of humanity among characters in The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas and Boys Don t Cry Comments The candidate has tried to develop an argument throughout the essay, but some of the terms in the thesis have not been adequately defined or explained. The term social stigma has not been explained thoroughly. The part on The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas is confusing as it is not very clear whether the thesis applies to the main character or the Jews. The discussion lacks a central focus and the perspective of the main character has not been dealt with adequately. The part on the second film is brief and how the society looks down on homosexuals also needs to be elaborated with more concrete examples. The two films are treated separately but there should have been some connection between the treatment of the themes between the two films. The piece could have been better organised. 35

Level 5 exemplars and comments. Paper 1 Sample 1: Section A, Question 1

Level 5 exemplars and comments Paper 1 Sample 1: Section A, Question 1 1 Sample 1: Section A, Question 1 2 Sample 1: Section A, Question 1 3 Sample 1: Section A, Question 1 4 Sample 1: Section A, Question