Feedback Comments For Student Writing

Transcription

1 Feedback Comments For Student Writing and suggestions to use when grading and in writing conferences by Angela Watson TheCornerstoneForTeachers.com

2 Feedback & Comments For Student Writing and suggestions to use w hen grading and in writing conferences Does it seem like you give students the same generic compliments on their writing over and over? Do you struggle to find kind, supportive ways to suggest improvements? Have you given up on detailed feedback because it's just too time-consuming to provide? This document contains hundreds of comment suggestions to help you give meaningful feedback to students on their writing assignments. You can use these comments to help guide your conversations during writing workshop and writing conferences. Or, use them in your written feedback at the top of student work or on sticky notes. These comments can also be used to help describe student writing for portfolio assessments, progress reports, report cards, or in parent conferences. This 21 page PDF includes one set of the following for narrative writing assignments AND one slightly modified set for expository writing assignments: General compliment phrases General suggestion phrases Specific compliments and suggestions on effort and overall writing progress Specific compliments and suggestions for each of the 6 traits of writing: Ideas and Content, Organization, Voice, Word Choice, Sentence Fluency, and Conventions I used the 6 Traits model because it's a simple way to organize the types of feedback. However, you can use these comments with ANY writing system. Please note that this document is fully protected by copyright. Each purchase is for a single user license, which means you may print and reproduce it only for your own personal use. Please purchase additional licenses if you wish to share the document with your team members, colleagues, or other teachers. Please do not upload this document or any part of it to your blog, class website, school server, or anywhere else on the internet, even if you adapt it. Thank you so much for my respecting the work I put into this product and for cooperating with these guidelines! You can me at angelawatson@live.com if you have any questions or concerns. Angela TheCornerstoneForTeachers.com

3 Narrative Writing Compliment Phrases I enjoyed the way you. I loved reading about. I thought it was really interesting the way that you. Your story made me smile when. Your story made me laugh when. I really love the way you. I can tell you really. It s obvious you were paying close attention to. You did a fantastic job using the technique we talked about in class. The way you was really clever. My favorite part was. You are so talented at. The most interesting part of this story for me was when. I was really hooked when you wrote. When happened, I couldn t wait to see what happened next! I was impressed with. The way you really impressed me. I am amazed at how well you. I thought it was nice the way you. I noticed the way you. It was pretty cool that you. I saw how you. That was a nice touch! Thank you for sharing your story with me. I m glad I got to read this story. I am looking forward to reading your next story. I can t wait to read the next story you write! I am excited to see what you write about next. Angela Watson TheCornerstoneForTeachers.com

4 Narrative Writing Suggestion Phrases I didn t understand. I got confused when. When I was reading your story, I wished that. I think it might help make your story clearer if. What if you tried instead? This part of the story would make more sense to me if. It might help if you. Could you try? I wonder if your story would make more sense if? How would you feel about instead? I bet this part would be clearer if. What do you think about? Would you be willing to change? I d love to see you try instead. Think about using next time. Remember to in your next story. Please when you are writing. Thank you! I m hoping that you ll keep working on. I bet your stories will be even better when you. As you keep practicing, your stories are going to get better and better. It would be really helpful if you. I d like for you to consider. Would it make sense to? My advice to you is. I would recommend. My suggestion would be to. I think you could improve this story by. Angela Watson TheCornerstoneForTeachers.com

5 NARRATIVE WRITING Feedback on Effort and Progress You are making such good progress in your writing--nice work! I am amazed at how far you ve come as a writer. I can tell you read the feedback I gave you last time and are working hard to improve. WOW! I am proud of the hard work you put into the assignment. You should be proud of how hard you worked on this story. I appreciate the time you spent on this story. I know it was a lot of work for you. Thank you for putting so much effort into writing this. It is appreciated. You kept working and working at this story and never gave up. I admire that about you. I am glad you put in the effort to finish writing this story. I can tell you put a lot of thought into this story. Nice job! I bet you are very proud of this story. Great work! I noticed that you didn t finish your story. Let s keep working on using your writing time wisely. I am dying to find out what happens to your characters! I wish you d been able to finish this story. I always love to read your ideas. What a creative story! If the topic/prompt was different, this paper would earn a much higher grade. Unfortunately, the assignment was to write on, and I can only grade you on how well you wrote to that topic. I hope you will get another chance to write about the things you like. I feel like this story is not your very best writing. I can remember times when you put forth more effort with. Can we talk about what happened? Last time, we talked about. I'd like to see you continue to work on this area. I'm seeing a little bit of progress with. Remember to pay special attention to this area when you're writing next time. I noticed that you had some trouble with again with this story. Let's discuss some strategies you can use to help. You should be proud of the amount of time and energy you put into writing this. I'm seeing big improvements in the areas we've been focusing on. Your writing keeps getting better and better.

6 NARRATIVE WRITING Feedback on Ideas and Content I loved reading about. Brilliant idea to have happen! I thought it was really interesting the way that you. You put a lot of energy into creating interesting characters they re really compelling! Your choice of setting is really original, and sets your characters up for some interesting experiences. Your idea to include was wonderful. It made me excited to read what would happen next. You were really thinking hard about this story, and it shows! You should be proud of the amount of time and energy you put into developing your ideas. Your idea about is so original. I never saw coming. You did a nice job surprising me as your reader. This story was very focused and clear. The details you chose really enhanced your story and made it interesting to read. I could tell you kept your audience in mind with this story it's well-suited for your readers. The connections you made throughout this story were very strong. Your imagination made this story come to life. Your creative ideas were really fun for me to read. I didn t understand the part about. What if you? I bet that would convey your meaning more clearly. I had trouble understanding what was happening at times in your story. It confused me when. I m thinking it might help if you. I love your idea about. Can you tell more about that in your story? I'd like to see you take your idea about and develop it some more. Maybe could happen? Or you could? I think it might help make your story clearer if. I wonder if your story would make more sense if? I'm wondering if it might be hard to write an entire story around this idea. How would you feel about instead? It might be easier for you to write this story if we narrowed your focus a little bit. What if you wrote only about the part where? There's a lot of things happening in this story. I think you could improve it by getting rid of and telling more about. I started losing interest in this part of the story. I think it would be nice to tighten it up and focus more on. I think you'd have a stronger story if you switch out your characters/plot/setting. Would you be willing to change? This story sounds very familiar to me/i kept thinking about a movie/tv show I've seen when I was reading your story. I bet you have some incredible ideas that are totally your own! What if you left out the part about and used your own idea about what could happen there?

7 NARRATIVE WRITING Feedback on Organization I can tell you put a lot of thought into this story. Nice job! You were really thinking hard about this story, and it shows! This story was well-organized and easy for me to follow. As a reader, I appreciated the way you organized your thoughts so I always understood what was happening. The beginning of your story really hooked me. I couldn't wait to see what would happen! You did a wonderful job with the middle of your story. Your details kept my attention and the plot moved along nicely. I thought the end of your story was the perfect fit. It fit really well with the rest of the story and was a satisfying conclusion. The way you transitioned between events was seamless. I didn t understand the part about. What if you? I bet that would help get your point across more clearly. I got a little but lost when. I m thinking it might help if you. I like your idea about. It might be better to put that part in beginning/middle/end of the story instead because. The beginning of this story confused me a little bit. I would like to see you so that the reader gets a better sense of what's happening. The middle of the story seems mixed up to me. Would it make sense if you switched and? I think your story would be stronger if you left out the part about and focused more on. I think your story would be even more entertaining if you showed more of what's happening in this section. Remember that you can use transition words to signal to the reader that something different is about to happen. Try using some different transition words instead of repeating yourself. Maybe or would work?

8 NARRATIVE WRITING Feedback on Voice This story really reflected your personality. Your writing voice really shone through in this story! I love how this story sounded just like you. I could tell whose story this was before I even read the name on the paper. Your writing voice is very unique! Your strong writing voice makes your story more interesting and relatable. Your writing was engaging and lively. You made this story come to life! I was excited about reading this story because it was obvious you were excited while writing it. Your writing voice really helped build suspense/ communicate humor in this story. I think your writing voice might shine through more clearly if you. I bet this part would have a stronger voice if. What do you think about saying another way? I think that's a good place to strengthen your voice in this story. You have such a wonderful sense of humor. I'd like to see that come through in your paper in this part. Don't be afraid to be yourself when you're writing! You can use expressions and words that you use when you're talking. It will make the story sound more like you. It felt like the tone of story shifted a little bit here. It's important to keep your writing voice consistent so your readers stay engaged and don't get confused. Maybe you could? The way you wrote about was really engaging. Your voice was strong in that part. I like the way the characters had unique voices. You didn't make them all talk the same way. I caught the way you used a catch phrase in this story. It made your writing sound very authentic and relatable. The writing in this story was very relaxed, natural, and authentic. Well done.

9 NARRATIVE WRITING Feedback on Word Choice Your descriptive words made me feel like I was a part of your story. The vocabulary you used was very sophisticated. I'm impressed with your word choice here it helped me envision exactly what was happening. I can tell you were thinking carefully about your word choices in this story. Awesome work! The words you chose here were strong, specific, and accurate. I love how you took an everyday word and used it in an unusual way. The expressions you used helped me understand your characters better. You did a fantastic job using big words without making them sound unnatural or forced. This was the perfect word to use in that part of the story! Great job helping the reader paint a mental picture. Your choice of adjectives/nouns/verbs here was superb. Remember to use descriptive words in your writing. Your ideas are really strong, and they deserve to have precise words to describe them. I noticed you used the word a lot in your story. Would you consider using some synonyms like or? Check thesaurus.com--i always get lots of good ideas there. I appreciate the effort you made to incorporate our vocabulary words into your writing. Take a look at the words I circled--i m not sure they make sense in the context of the story. Can you think of better words to go in their place? Take a look at the sentences that I circled--they re missing words. I make that mistake myself when I m really excited about getting all my ideas out quickly. It helps if I re-read what I wrote afterward. Do you think that strategy might help you, too? Some of the words you picked didn't fit well into your story. What if you tried? Is there a more descriptive word you could use here? How could you show your readers this part instead of telling them? What if you tried using a word like? Would that make your point more clearly? I'm having trouble picturing exactly what's happening in this part of the story. Can you re-think some of your word choices here to help me get a mental image?

10 NARRATIVE WRITING Feedback on Sentence Fluency I like the way that you didn't start all your sentences the same way. I noticed that your sentences were all different lengths. That kind of variety made your story even more interesting to read. Your sentences flowed into one another really well here. I can tell you were paying attention to the way your story flows. Your sentence fluency is really improving! Your story has a very natural, fluid sound when I read it. The way you structured your sentences added a lot of interest to your story. I love how you used the dialogue to give the reader a better sense of the conversation between your characters. This story uses all different types of sentences. Declarative, exclamatory, questions they're all here! That makes your story more interesting to read. I get distracted as a reader when I notice too many sentences in a row all starting the same way. Could you begin your sentences here differently? I think it might help make your story clearer if you used different types of sentences. What if you? I had to go back and re-read in a few places here because there were so many long sentences back to back. I wonder if your story would make more sense if some of the sentences were shorter. Could you break up this long sentence into two or three shorter sentences? I d love for you to try using a variety of sentences in your stories. See if you can incorporate a question into this part. Sometimes too many exclamation points weakens the effect you're going for. Would you be willing to change some of these into periods? I noticed a lot of incomplete sentences in this story. Sometimes that made it hard for me to understand what was happening. Try re-reading the story out loud to yourself. That always helps me.

11 NARRATIVE WRITING Feedback on Conventions Thank you for taking the time to proofread your story. It really shows. I can tell you were paying attention to your grammar and spelling. That made it easier for me to focus on your great ideas! I see where you went back and re-read your story and made some spelling edits. Good catch! I'm impressed with the way you remembered which words to capitalize. I noticed that you paid close attention to your punctuation in this story. I love how you edited your spelling/grammar in this part. That was good thinking. It shows a lot of consideration for your readers when you take the time to look up the correct spelling of words. Thank you for that. Sometimes I got confused when reading your story because of the spelling mistakes. I would love for you to use dictionary.com to help with this. I was distracted from your cool ideas by the spelling errors in your story and the missing punctuation. It s important to pay attention to those parts of your writing so your readers can really get lost in your story. I love your ideas here. Did you remember to edit your story for spelling and punctuation? That would help your readers make sense of what s happening. You have so many fantastic ideas here! It would be easier for me to read them if you used more punctuation. Notice the places where I suggested commas and periods. Remember to start writing at the line on the left side of the page, and stop writing at the line on the right. Using the margins makes your paper look neater, which means it s easier for readers to follow along with your fantastic story. I would appreciate it if you would skip lines in writing next time. That way, it will be easier for you and I to edit your work. Would you please write on every line next time instead of skipping lines? This will keep us from using up too much paper. Even though I was curious about what would happen next in your story, I found it hard to keep reading because your whole page was one long paragraph. It would be much easier for your readers to stick with the story if you broke it up into different paragraphs. Try indenting each time. Take a look at the places where I suggested you start a new paragraph. Indenting helps your readers follow along with the story. Be sure to capitalize proper nouns and the beginning of your sentences. That way, the reader can stay focused on your great ideas.

12 Expository Writing Compliment Phrases I enjoyed the way you. I loved reading about. I thought it was really interesting the way that you. Your essay made me smile when. Your essay really made me think when. I love the way you. I can tell you really. It s obvious you were paying close attention to. You did a fantastic job using the technique we talked about in class. The way you was really clever. My favorite part was. You are so talented at. The most interesting part of this essay for me was when. I was really hooked when you wrote. When happened, I couldn t wait to see what you'd say next! I was impressed with. The way you really impressed me. I am amazed at how well you. I thought it was nice the way you. I noticed the way you. It was pretty cool that you. I saw how you. That was a nice touch! Thank you for sharing your essay with me. I m glad I got to read this essay. I am looking forward to reading your next essay. I can t wait to read the next essay you write! I am excited to see what you write about next. Angela Watson TheCornerstoneForTeachers.com

13 Expository Writing Suggestion Phrases I didn t understand. I got confused when. When I was reading your essay, I wished that. I think it might help make your essay clearer if. What if you tried instead? This part of the essay would make more sense to me if. It might help if you. Could you try? I wonder if your essay would make more sense if? How would you feel about instead? I bet this part would be clearer if. What do you think about? Would you be willing to change? I d love to see you try instead. Think about using next time. Remember to in your next essay. Please when you are writing. Thank you! I m hoping that you ll keep working on. I bet your stories will be even better when you. As you keep practicing, your writing is going to get better and better. It would be really helpful if you. I d like for you to consider. Would it make sense to? My advice to you is. I would recommend. My suggestion would be to. I think you could improve this essay by. Angela Watson TheCornerstoneForTeachers.com

14 EXPOSITORY WRITING Feedback on Effort and Progress You are making such good progress in your writing--nice work! I am amazed at how far you ve come as a writer. I can tell you read the feedback I gave you last time and are working hard to improve. WOW! I am proud of the hard work you put into the assignment. You should be proud of how hard you worked on this essay. I appreciate the time you spent on this essay. I know it was a lot of work for you. Thank you for putting so much effort into writing this. It is appreciated. You kept working and working at this essay and never gave up. I admire that about you. I am glad you put in the effort to finish writing this essay. I can tell you put a lot of thought into this piece. Nice job! I bet you are very proud of this essay. Great work! I noticed that you didn t finish your essay. Let s keep working on using your writing time wisely. I really want to know what your conclusion will be! I wish you d been able to finish this essay. I always love to read your ideas. What a creative essay! If the topic/prompt was different, this paper would earn a much higher grade. Unfortunately, the assignment was to write on, and I can only grade you on how well you wrote to that topic. I hope you will get another chance to write about the things you like. I feel like this essay is not your very best writing. I can remember times when you put forth more effort with. Can we talk about what happened? Last time, we talked about. I'd like to see you continue to work on this area. I'm seeing a little bit of progress with. Remember to pay special attention to this area when you're writing next time. I noticed that you had some trouble with again with this essay. Let's discuss some strategies you can use to help. You should be proud of the amount of time and energy you put into writing this. I'm seeing big improvements in the areas we've been focusing on. Your writing keeps getting better and better.

15 EXPOSITORY WRITING Feedback on Ideas and Content I loved reading about. Brilliant idea to include the part about! I thought it was really interesting the way that you. You put a lot of energy into making your point here well done. Your arguments are very compelling. The point you made/explanation you gave here is good one. I'm impressed. Your idea to include was wonderful. It made me excited to read what you'd say about it next. You were really thinking hard about this topic, and it shows! You should be proud of the amount of time and energy you put into developing your ideas on this topic. Your idea about/explanation of is so original. This essay was very focused and clear. The details you chose really enhanced your essay and made it interesting to read. I could tell you kept your audience in mind with this essay it's well-suited for your readers. The connections you made throughout this essay were very strong. Your creative explanations made this essay a lot of fun to read. I thought your explanations here were extremely strong. You stated your case exceptionally well here. Very convincing. I didn t understand the part about. What if you? I bet that would convey your meaning more clearly. I had trouble understanding what you were trying to say in a few places. It confused me when. I m thinking it might help if you. I love your idea about. Can you tell more about that in your essay? I'd like to see you take your idea about and develop it some more. Would you elaborate on? I think it might help make your essay clearer if. I wonder if your essay would make more sense if? I'm wondering if it might be hard to write an entire essay around this idea. How would you feel about instead? It might be easier for you to write this essay if we narrowed your focus a little bit. What if you wrote only about the part where? There's a lot of things happening in this essay. I think you could improve it by getting rid of and telling more about. I started losing interest in this part of the essay. I think it would be nice to tighten it up and focus more on. I think you'd have a stronger essay if you switched out your idea about. Would you be willing to change? This essay sounds very familiar to me. I bet you have some incredible ideas that are totally your own! What if you left out the part about and used your own idea there? I'd love to see you explain more of what you meant about.

16 EXPOSITORY WRITING Feedback on Organization I can tell you put a lot of thought into this essay. Nice job! You were really thinking hard about this essay, and it shows! This essay was well-organized and easy for me to follow. As a reader, I appreciated the way you organized your thoughts so I always understood what was happening. The beginning of your essay really hooked me. I couldn't wait to see what you'd write next! I love how you stated your main points in your introduction. That made it easy for me to follow along during your essay. You did a wonderful job with the middle of your essay. Your details kept my attention. You used just the right about of details to support your points. Your explanations were organized and logical. The way you transitioned between your points was seamless. Your use of transition words was exceptionally strong here. The sequence words you used helped me keep track of each step that you were explaining. Nice job. I thought your conclusion was the perfect fit. It fit really well with the rest of the essay and drove your main points home again. What a fantastic job re-stating your main points in the conclusion. That tied everything together perfectly. The conclusion you used really resonated with me. It made me think deeply about your topic/argument. Well done! I didn t understand the part about. What if you? I bet that would help get your point across more clearly. I got a little but lost when. I m thinking it might help if you. I like your idea about. It might be better to put that part in beginning/middle/end of the essay instead because. I think it would help your readers follow along if you stated your big ideas in the introduction. The beginning of this essay confused me a little bit. I would like to see you so that the reader gets a better sense of what you're going to write about. The middle of the essay seems mixed up to me. Would it make sense if you switched and? Some of your details seemed off topic to me. I think your essay would be stronger if you left out the part about and focused more on. I think your essay would be even more convincing if you showed more of what's happening in this section, instead of just telling. Can you give an example here to back up your point/ illustrate your explanation? Remember that you can use transition words to signal to the reader that you are moving on to the next step/argument/point. Try using some different transition words instead of repeating the same ones. Maybe or would work? Keep working on your conclusion. You can use it to drive home your main points and leave the reader with strong feelings or thoughts about it. What if you?

17 EXPOSITORY WRITING Feedback on Voice This essay really reflected your personality. Your writing voice really shone through in this essay! I love how this essay sounded just like you. I could tell whose essay this was before I even read the name on the paper. Your writing voice is very unique! Your strong writing voice makes your essay more interesting and relatable. Your writing was engaging and lively. You made this essay come to life! I was excited about reading this essay because it was obvious you were excited while writing it. Your writing voice really helped create emotion/communicate humor/make a strong case for your argument in this essay. The way you wrote about was really engaging. Your voice was strong in that part. I caught the way you used a catch phrase in this essay. It made your writing sound very authentic and relatable. I think your writing voice might shine through more clearly if you. I bet this part would have a stronger voice if. What do you think about saying another way? I think that's a good place to strengthen your voice in this essay. You have such a wonderful sense of humor. I'd like to see that come through in your paper in this part. Don't be afraid to be yourself when you're writing! You can use expressions and words that you use when you're talking. It will make the essay sound more like you. It felt like the tone of essay shifted a little bit here. It's important to keep your writing voice consistent so your readers stay engaged and don't get confused. Maybe you could? When you're writing this type of expository essay, it's important to have a voice that shows. Maybe you can? For this type of expository writing, you want to convey confidence/authority and be very convincing. Let's think of some ways you can show that in these sentences. The writing in this essay was very relaxed, natural, and authentic. Well done.

18 EXPOSITORY WRITING Feedback on Word Choice Your descriptive words made it easy for me to understand exactly what you were trying to say. The vocabulary you used was very sophisticated. I'm impressed with your word choice here it helped me picture what you were saying. I can tell you were thinking carefully about your word choices in this essay. Awesome work! The words you chose here were strong, specific, and accurate. I love how you took an everyday word and used it in an unusual way. The expressions you used really drove home your point. You did a fantastic job using big words without making them sound unnatural or forced. This was the perfect word to use in that part of the essay! The words you used in your details were amazing. Great job helping the reader paint a mental picture. Your choice of adjectives/nouns/verbs here was superb. The way you explained this part was fantastic. Remember to use descriptive words in your writing. Your ideas are really strong, and they deserve to have precise words to describe them. I noticed you used the word a lot in your essay. Would you consider using some synonyms like or? Check thesaurus.com--i always get lots of good ideas there. I appreciate the effort you made to incorporate our vocabulary words into your writing. Take a look at the words I circled--i m not sure they make sense in the context of the essay. Can you think of better words to go in their place? Take a look at the sentences that I circled--they re missing words. I make that mistake myself when I m really excited about getting all my ideas out quickly. It helps if I re-read what I wrote afterward. Do you think that strategy might help you, too? Some of the words you picked didn't fit well into your essay. What if you tried? Is there a more descriptive word you could use here? How could you show your readers this part instead of telling them? What if you tried using a word like? Would that make your point more clearly? I'm having trouble understanding what you mean in this part of the essay. Can you re-think some of your word choices here to help me get a mental image?

19 EXPOSITORY WRITING Feedback on Sentence Fluency I like the way that you didn't start all your sentences the same way. I noticed that your sentences were all different lengths. That kind of variety made your essay even more interesting to read. Your sentences flowed into one another really well here. I can tell you were paying attention to the way your essay flows. Your sentence fluency is really improving! Your essay has a very natural, fluid sound when I read it. The way you structured your sentences added a lot of interest to your essay. I love how you used quotes/dialogue to help make your point. This essay uses all different types of sentences. Declarative, exclamatory, questions they're all here! That makes your essay more interesting to read. I get distracted as a reader when I notice too many sentences in a row all starting the same way. Could you begin your sentences here differently? I think it might help make your point clearer if you used different types of sentences. What if you? I had to go back and re-read in a few places here because there were so many long sentences back to back. I wonder if your essay would make more sense if some of the sentences were shorter. Could you break up this long sentence into two or three shorter sentences? I d love for you to try using a variety of sentences in your writing. See if you can incorporate a question into this part. Sometimes too many exclamation points weakens the effect you're going for. Would you be willing to change some of these into periods? I noticed a lot of incomplete sentences in this essay. Sometimes that made it hard for me to understand what was happening. Try reading what you wrote out loud to yourself. That always helps me.

20 EXPOSITORY WRITING Feedback on Conventions Thank you for taking the time to proofread your essay. It really shows. I can tell you were paying attention to your grammar and spelling. That made it easier for me to focus on your great ideas! I see where you went back and re-read your essay and made some spelling edits. Good catch! I'm impressed with the way you remembered which words to capitalize. I noticed that you paid close attention to your punctuation in this essay. I love how you edited your spelling/grammar in this part. That was good thinking. It shows a lot of consideration for your readers when you take the time to look up the correct spelling of words. Thank you for that. Sometimes I got confused when reading your essay because of the spelling mistakes. I would love for you to use dictionary.com to help with this. I was distracted from your good ideas by the spelling errors in your essay and the missing punctuation. It s important to pay attention to those parts of your writing so your readers focus on the points you're trying to make. I love your ideas here. Did you remember to edit your essay for spelling and punctuation? That would help your readers make sense of what you're explaining. You have so many fantastic ideas here! It would be easier for me to read them if you used more punctuation. Notice the places where I suggested commas and periods. Remember to start writing at the line on the left side of the page, and stop writing at the line on the right. Using the margins makes your paper look neater, which means it s easier for readers to follow along with your fantastic essay. I would appreciate it if you would skip lines in writing next time. That way, it will be easier for you and I to edit your work. Would you please write on every line next time instead of skipping lines? This will keep us from using up too much paper. Even though I was curious about what you would say next in your essay, I found it hard to keep reading because your whole page was one long paragraph. It would be much easier for your readers to stick with the essay if you broke it up into different paragraphs. Try indenting each time you. Take a look at the places where I suggested you start a new paragraph. Indenting helps your readers follow along with the essay. Be sure to capitalize proper nouns and the beginning of your sentences. That way, the reader can stay focused on your great ideas.

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