HTTA Vault It s Friday night. You re rushing out to meet friends. You arrive late and order your drink. While you wait, your friends ask you, So what s new? Yesterday, you delivered a killer presentation. Tuesday you had a date. And your store had a record sales week but why are you drawing a complete blank? You answer: Uh, not much. Just been busy with work. How about you? This is the equivalent of showing up to a party and expecting other people to entertain YOU. Compare that behavior to my friend Susan, who lights up any room she enters. Yes, she asks questions, but she s also always ready to add value to the conversation. I created a 5-Item checklist that will prepare you to light rooms up yourself. I specifically designed the checklist so it takes 5 minutes, but reaching Susan s level requires years of practice. I m still working on it! Think of this checklist as the first time you ve picked up a hammer and some nails. It s enough to start, but no one expects you to build a house overnight. How to Use the Checklist: Before meeting a group of people, carve out 5 minutes to review the checklist. Review it before leaving the house, or in your car after you ve parked. Write down any topics you come up with. Remember: spending a few minutes frontloading the work is the difference between the lukewarm reception you ve always received, and people ANTICIPATING your arrival. IWT Checklist: 5 to-do s in 5 min before meeting h o w t o ta l k t o a n y b o d y. c o m 1 of 7
HTTA Vault 1. Self Check-In [1 Minute] Before you meet your group, perform a quick self check-in: What projects did I work on this week? Did I read or watch anything interesting? How do I want to make the other people around me feel? Here s what your thought process might look like: Well, work was pretty tedious. But I did have an awesome workout on Tuesday and increased my max by 10 pounds! And I finally watched that documentary on Netflix that Michael s been raving about. This is a casual conversation, so I want to keep it light. If nothing comes to mind, open your calendar: What did I do yesterday? The day before? What if you re not sure if something s interesting? Always default to the option that adds value to the group. For example, if someone asks What s new? : Bad: Not much. Work is good, family is fine. What s new with you? Good: I ve been finishing this massive project at work, so that s nearly done. And I read this great book this week that I think you ll love. But I ll tell you about that later. How are you? Notice you don t have to come back from vacation or go skydiving to add value to the group. You add value by bringing energy and conversational fuel. IWT Checklist: 5 to-do s in 5 min before meeting h o w t o ta l k t o a n y b o d y. c o m 2 of 7
HTTA Vault 2. Group Check-In [1 Minute] Spend one minute thinking about the group you re about to meet: Who will be there? When was the last time you saw them? What s happening in their lives? Compare this to what most other people do. Most people are swept up in their own lives. They never pause and think about others. There s a reason why we call it building rapport -- we build each experience upon the previous one. Taking one minute to do a Group Check-in is all it takes to remember, Rachel s grandmother is in the hospital or John got promoted this week. Instead of asking general questions like everyone else, like: How are you doing? What s going on at work? How s so-and-so doing? You ll build rapport by drilling much deeper with specific questions like: Last week you were getting over the flu. How are you feeling? Congratulations on the promotion Jennifer! What s the new position like? You said you had to see your grandmother in the hospital. How is she doing? Rapport doesn t just happen. It s built. Spend 1 minute to do a Group Check-In, and you ll have the tools to build much stronger relationships. IWT Checklist: 5 to-do s in 5 min before meeting h o w t o ta l k t o a n y b o d y. c o m 3 of 7
HTTA Vault 3. What s Trending? [1 Minute] People LOVE to talk about what other people are talking about. We have the tools to measure this pulse at anytime, so spend one minute on social media finding potential conversational topics. Facebook and Twitter both feature trends along their sidebars on the front page. At any given moment, we can see what s popular on Facebook or Twitter. This is GREAT conversational fodder, because you already know people are engaged. IWT Checklist: 5 to-do s in 5 min before meeting h o w t o ta l k t o a n y b o d y. c o m 4 of 7
HTTA Vault Spend one minute examining what s trending. Ask yourself: What would be interesting to THE GROUP? (This could be very different from what interests you.) Hint: The group does not care about AI in machine learning, you nerds. Pick one item to mention to your group from these trending topics. Write it down or save it on your phone. Now you have a topic in your back pocket to jump start the conversation ( Hey, did you see this thing that was blowing up on Twitter today? ). Reddit is another great resource. There s a reason why they call it the frontpage of the Internet. On Reddit, topics are sorted by popularity, but you ll notice usually it s different from what s trending on Facebook and Twitter. Pick your source based on the group, then start testing what topics incite massive debate and what falls flat. IWT Checklist: 5 to-do s in 5 min before meeting h o w t o ta l k t o a n y b o d y. c o m 5 of 7
HTTA Vault 4. Trade Blogs and Magazines [1 Minute] If you re meeting people in a professional context like co-workers or colleagues, spend one minute scanning an industry trade blog or magazine. All industries have bloggers and writers who cover their specific niche. Take a minute to scan the headlines to get a brief digest of what s happening in your industry. You want to be aware of current events, since it s likely that at times, the conversation will gravitate towards work. However, don t feel compelled to be the person who brings up the topic of work! There are a few reasons for this: It s low-hanging fruit. Let others bring up tired topics. Everyone spent all day at work. Who wants to keep talking about it outside the office? Be the person who brings something new and interesting to the conversation. Talking shop is natural in a professional context. Be prepared to politely chat about work but also be the person who can steer the conversation away from the office. The group will thank you for it. IWT Checklist: 5 to-do s in 5 min before meeting h o w t o ta l k t o a n y b o d y. c o m 6 of 7
HTTA Vault 5. National Magazine Covers [1 Minute] This is an offline tactic to gather conversational fodder. The next time you re at the check-out line of the grocery store, spend a minute scanning the headlines on magazine covers. The magazine business in an entire industry where every month, editors, writers, and designers produce content that grabs attention in an oversaturated market. The magazine industry spends millions of dollars investigating what millions of readers want to know. Then they also curate stories, hooks, and angles and plaster the front cover with the juiciest headlines! Spend one minute scanning the headlines, and pick interesting ones to use as conversational fuel. Here are three safe topics you can test, based on the magazine covers above: Have you listened to [Jay-Z/Robin Thicke/Katy Perry s] new album yet? I saw this on a magazine and thought was interesting: do you think you re good at knowing when someone s lying to you? Do you know anyone who s actually taken those surveys in Cosmo? When I go meet people, do I still run through this entire checklist? No, because I ve internalized the process. Many of these steps happen automatically with me, throughout the day. I don t need to check the boxes anymore. Eventually, you ll internalize your process, and you won t need to either. You ll be like the great chef who stares blankly when asked for her recipes: She doesn t use recipes, she just knows a pinch of basil here, a handful of fresh chives there. Using this checklist is the process that ll get you to that level. IWT Checklist: 5 to-do s in 5 min before meeting h o w t o ta l k t o a n y b o d y. c o m 7 of 7