TRANSCRIPT KERRY TEPEDINO WEIGHT LOSS: WHAT S HOLDING YOU BACK (HINT: IT S NOT FOOD) INTRODUCTION At some point in your life, chances are you ve tried to lose weight. And odds are, you haven t been as successful as you want. But why is that? Is it a question of willpower? Of just not understanding the diet? Of not having the time or right foods to follow the diet the way it should be?
I had a client say to me once, I can t lose weight. I just love food too much. No matter what this woman did, she couldn t seem to control what she put into her mouth. Time after time she would sit down and come up with meal plans, with recipes, with eating habits that she could use to become healthier, drop the weight, and finally feel better in her own skin. And time after time, she would always end up eating the foods that weren t on her meal plan or a part of her healthier diet. She wanted to do better. And I believe she tried to do what she thought was best. So what was the problem? Well, there were lots of things coming up for her like there are for most of us on a daily basis but I will tell you what WASN T the problem food. That s right, food wasn t the problem in fact it never is. And when I look at all the clients I ve had over the years, the issues are always the same. So, what are they? What is it that holds us back from achieving something we so desperately want? What could possibly be that powerful? How do we discover what it is and then how do we overcome it? Today s conversation is an important one. It s one that can stop your yo-yo dieting and get you off the guilt wagon for good. It can help you dig deeper and examine EVERYTHING you want to change in your life and exactly how to do that, it can shift the way that you thought about losing weight and being healthy for good. It s a conversation that you can t miss. My guest today, Kerry Tepedino, is an expert in helping people dig deeper and discover why they can t lose the weight and how they can finally be successful at it.
INTERVIEW Kerry, we know that losing weight isn t just about the foods that we re putting into our mouths. We get what to eat and what not to. What exactly is the problem? A lot of people have just been socially conditioned; calories in, calories out and it s all that willpower and they start to beat themselves up if it s not moving on the scale because their value is so connected to that number. It s really important that people understand that it s also this mind body connection. It s about mindset, it s about self-love, it s about honoring and respecting oneself in a way that maybe they never have before. Because if they don t have that self-love component to it, Cynthia, then it s a constant battle. They re going to constantly be beating themselves up, body bashing I call it. It s so self-defeating and heartbreaking. I think we hear a lot about self-love and I want to explore that with you and the whole mind body connection because I absolutely think you re on to something because if it s not just the food and the body then it s obviously something bigger. We hear, well just love yourself first and that s really, really hard because I think wow, I don t have the body, I don t look the way I want to look, I don t feel so good because I m not healthy. How do you love that? Where does that come from? Yes, I always say baby steps still lead to the top. Just have faith in this, have trust in this and it is hard. If you ve been in this conversation, I save this toxic conversation inside about I m not good enough, I need to be different than who I am. Then it s difficult to start to find something to be grateful for but Gratitude is such a high vibration. I always say, Just find one thing to be grateful for and just focus on that, and start to really use what I call the art of telling a different story.
I want to talk about that because we tell ourselves some very interesting stories, I m not good enough, diets just don t work for me, I have no willpower. How much truth is there to those stories first of all and can stories be beneficial in anyway? Can they help get us closer to our goals? I think the important thing to realize about the stories in our head are the ones that aren t working for us anymore. You probably took them on between three and seven years old and it s conditioning. Whoever raised you; maybe it s your parents, maybe some people are raised by their grandparents or their aunts and uncles or maybe it s your coach had such an impact on you; so much influence. Now, we re mature women. Now as adults and our friends who are joining us as adults they can make a different choice for themselves. They can say, I can see why I had a trouble thinking that I wasn t good enough because of this situation that happened when I was five. I m older and I get to make a different choice and I get to choose a different belief for myself. That actually is really empowering. Do you think we always get that it s from our childhood? Do we consciously get that or is there some work that we need to do around that? I would say the majority of people haven t done the type of work to understand where the false beliefs are coming from. The small percentage that have, I think if they really stick with it they can get it. They can create what they really want like a life that lights them up from the inside out. If they haven t done that inner work, if maybe they didn t have a mentor or a tribe, a community of people who love them unconditionally then they will continue to think these thoughts.
For people who haven t done their inner work, I know you have, I have we are really quite tired of working so much. How do people who haven t really sort of taken that deeper dive to look at their past and maybe some triggers, where would you recommend they start to examine, maybe that did come from when I was three and this thing happened? What can they do to sort of uncover that? A great first step and I think it s great that we do give a clear plan on a first step so that people actually have an action item. If something comes up for someone and it feels edgy, like it doesn t feel really good and maybe they re wanting to go numb out with eating. Maybe their emotional eating gets triggered or they just want to escape somehow because a lot of people haven t felt their emotions for decades. The witness exercise is really, it s very simple to an extent. It sounds very simple but it s really just go quiet and sit with yourself I think for at least 20 minutes. If you need to start with 10, start with 10. Don t get overwhelmed and do nothing but sit with yourself quietly for 10 minutes. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and just ask, Where am I feeling some sensation in my body? Is my throat closed up and I feel like I can t breathe or I don t have a voice? Am I feeling nauseous or sick to my stomach? Is my heart feeling heavy? What s happening for you physically? Because it s showing up some place that emotion is just an energy, and it s telling you a story and it s asking, it s begging to be heard. First maybe it was, Oh I feel so nauseous because I m feeling so much grief or loneliness. Then as you sit and you breathe through it maybe you realize it s actually fear. Maybe I m scared of losing weight. I m scared of attracting more attention to myself. What will happen Cynthia which is so great is our friends will notice when fear comes up the next time or grief or sadness. It doesn t have that charge on them like it used to. I love that and I think it s a really powerful exercise. Emotions transform and then the next time you re able to be more aware and be like, Wait that s me doing that thing again I get this and then you can make different choices.
My emotions don t have to rule me and then when people start to really exhale into that space, they ll make different choices. Because emotions do rule us. They make us do so many things and that s why if you can start to just sit with them and not fear them or not try to push them down or away; drugs, sex, eating, there s overworking. Not try to push them away but just learn to be and then start to really honor who you are as a person. That protection, the insulation of the weight, see this is the beauty of it; when you start to really heal your mind and your heart, your physical body starts to respond. That s when this protection of the weight that you ve insulated yourself with it starts to shed and it starts to balance out. I m not naïve. I m not saying that it s all mindset and all self-love; you got to combine it with the science of nutrition. Sure. The science of detoxing, moving your body, getting that going, the lymphatic system and moving the toxins out. It s a beautiful marriage between the science and the inner work. You do those pieces, you have a comprehensive plan that will absolutely transform your life. Tell me what role does just making a choice play in losing weight? I know you talk on your website a lot about determination and just making that decision. Talk to me about that? Like can we just make a decision to do it and then we just do it because it seems a little too simple?
Okay. Well, so let s clarify that and I m glad you brought this up. The determination around the choice that one should make is not to lose weight, is to be healthy. Got it. There s an element to that; that s the science part but if somebody s why, if their motivating factor is just to lose weight, it won t work. It won t work because it s not important enough to them. Why is it not important enough? We re always looking for that happiness that comes after the weight loss. It seems as though we would care enough about it. It seems as though it would be enough, that it would be important enough if the rest of our life is just waiting in the wings for this thing to happen. A lot of those whys are more superficial I think for a lot of people and they re not really like the real why. You just dig deeper. You re a digger. You like to dig in, don t you? I like it. I m a digger. Then you ask, Well, why is that important to you? Then when you continue to dig and dig and dig what happens often enough is that that baseline is because they want to love themselves more. They just want to love themselves period. They want to feel good about who they are. They want to be in alignment with themselves.
Once we find that bigger why, the bigger reason that we want to make the boyfriend jealous or whatever the case might be, do we then make the choice? First and foremost, surround yourself with people who are healthy, who are in this conversation that s dynamic and exciting about reaching your goals and your dreams. Most people aren t surrounded by people who are really inspiring them to be better, to step into their potential. Then that ups your energy.it gets you excited that you re not alone anymore. You have a tribe and when you have a tribe like that then people are more up to stay in the game. They really are more up to stay in the game. I m just saying, first and foremost surround yourself with people who are also committed to being the best them that they can be. Then to give them other steps, to give everybody other steps I think it s important. Honesty. Honesty. The honesty piece is important because people are saying, Well I don t know why I gained 10 more pounds since I joined such and such program or I got on such and such TV show. It doesn t make sense to me. It s like okay, well are you treating yourself with respect? Are you eating, are you feeding yourself maybe nutrient dense maybe less but nutrient dense foods? Are you eating in a way where if you weren t alone, if the curtains weren t closed and you were actually sitting with somebody else you wouldn t be embarrassed? Let s get honest. Let s get honest about what s really happening. That s really good. I just heard that in such a big way. Would you still eat these things in this way if there were other people around you? I love that. All right, one more step three. We ve got support
We ve got really honest with ourselves, we re really clear on what we re doing, the choices that we re making. Then what? Stay in action. It s consistency. It didn t take a fortnight for our friends to get to where they are, whether that s 10 pounds, 100 pounds, whatever that is. When you fall off track; when there s a little speed bump on the road just keep back on track. This is not about perfection, perfection kills success. I always say perfection kills success. I don t want you to be perfect. That consistency is key. Most people fail with that piece, somehow they self-sabotage. In our community what I always notice is procrastination, perfectionism, over indulgence or negative self-taught. Those are four main ways of self-sabotage and people will start to see success and then they ll get scared of it. Right, we have those upper limits. We have those upper limits. You can t be too successful, can t get too skinny, not worth that, not that good. What will they think of me? It gets scary for somebody. People are scared to start the journey and then once they reach their goals you were working with a whole new set of fears. Is there just maybe a quick little exercise you could give people like when they re negative selftaught? You re like, Well I m doing so good, I deserve that candy bar.
Put a rubber band on your wrist. Everybody go get a rubber band; put a rubber band on your wrist and the minute you catch yourself having a negative thought or a glass half empty thought snap that rubber band and replace it with a positive one. What we re doing is we re doing neuroprogramming. We re trying to retrain the brain. I love that and you can use that for conditioning for any thoughts that you have. Anything. It s so great. Absolutely. Kerry, I think you ve offered so much wisdom and insight into why we know it s not about the food, why we know what to eat and we re still not doing it. I think you ve shown us like these are the bigger things that we really need to work on. The food will come. We have the science, we have that knowledge, that s not what the thing is right now, the issue, the hurdle, the obstacle so I think you ve done a great job with that. One of the questions that I ask every guest on what you re really hungry for is, Kerry what are you really hungry for? What am I really hungry for - so much! I have a little nine week old and I am hungry for continued balance and fun and adventure. When I say balance I mean a balance with my work, which is
also booming, and I m so passionate about it. Like you, it doesn t really feel like work when you re that passionate. It s just amazing that synergy that happens and an adventure and fun and laughter. I think life isn t really worth living, it s worth living but it s so much more fun when there s like all this giggly laughter like you saw my baby giggling today. He just learned how to giggle and I want more of that. I love it. Kerry, thank you for being here. Your website kerrytepedino.com. Easy and we ll have that in the show notes as well so thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing such loving, loving wisdom. Well, thank you for having me. It s so fun to be here with you. THIS WEEK S MENYOU This week is all about the real things that are holding you back when it comes to weight loss and they re not food. I invite you to choose one of Kerry s tips that she discussed during our show and start implementing it in your life TODAY. What are the things that hold YOU back from losing weight? And what ONE thing can you start doing today to finally take the pounds off for good? As always, the conversation continues at cynthiapasquella.com. Head on over and leave a comment below this video telling me the one thing YOU will do to start to take back control today.
And, while you re there, make sure you download today s free Menyou to track your progress! You will find inspirational quotes from today s show and a daily checklist to keep you on track. It s located right below this video at cynthiapasquella.com. Did you like this video? If you did, please subscribe and I would be so grateful if you would share this video with your friends. And if you want to hear more from me including stuff I only talk about in email, then come on over to cynthiapasquella.com and sign up for my email newsletter so YOU can be a part of this beautiful community of women who are discovering what they re really hungry for.