Emotional Intimacy Sales Secrets: Connecting Deeply for High-Ticket Conversions People want to be heard. You have to be more committed to serving than selling. The best way to serve is to ask clarifying questions that reveal to the potential client that they need support NOW. Remember: if they filled out an application and got on the phone with you, they are in pain and are looking for relief. Your job is NOT to convenience them to invest with you. You job is to STACK THE DECK of all the crap they have been tolerating AND the possibilities they can have when they are committed to having a different result than the one that is sucking the life out of them now. You cannot MAKE anyone do anything. You can clearly and vividly layout the cost of nonaction. You want to position yourself as a trusted advisor (like a wealth manager or an attorney) instead of a sales person. A trusted advisor makes recommendations and paints the picture so you can CLEARLY see what you will get and what you will loose if you do or don t take action. Most importantly you have to be more committed to their freedom than them liking you or you offending them. You have to stand for the biggest possibility you can see for their lives when they take an action that gives them new results. That new action should lead to your offer. Unless you can see early one you are not a fit. Then if that s the case DON T MAKE AN OFFER. 1
If someone energy rubs you the wrong way, make a suggestion to a resource that would help, and end the conversation. Please don t try to make it work. If you do, YOU will be making it work for the lifetime of that relationship. And PLEASE don t get on the phone with people who haven t filled out your application. Don t use people for practice. Care enough about your energetic and reputation than to practice on people who can t pay you or are not a match. The intention of the 10-question survey is for you to ask clarifying questions so you can see before you invest the time on the phone if this someone you can serve and who is financially viable. Please screen your potential clients BEFORE investing your time on the phones. What you are out to accomplish is simple: deep heart connection. When there is a deep heart connection, people have the safety to tell the truth. When people can tell the truth, you are award the emotional trust to go deeper. When you go deeper with emotionally intimate questions, the person you are being with sees the costs of staying where they are and the possibility of were they could be. I think of it as Pain GAP Possibility. Love people enough to let them, in a safe space, feel and experience the pain of what they are trying to get out of by talking with you. Don t try to comfort them. Just hold space. Show them the gap between where they are and where they could be. Help them experience, right on the phone with you, what would be possible in their lives if that pain was gone forever. The bridge from pain to possibility is your offer. You offer is the answer to their prayers. 2
It is their lifeline. It is their get out of jail free card. YOU need to relate to your offer as such or you want understand what is at stake is somebody s future. That bridge your offer clearly lays out brick by brick, who you people can get from where they are to where they want desperately to be. As a trusted advisor, you DON T make an offer until: they feel the pain of the gap AND they ask. Once they ask, you give a brief and vivid description of your offer. And let them ask for more details. Then you walk them through the modules of your offer and the benefit of each. Tie a benefit from each module to something THEY SAID they wanted or wanted to get away from. (This is why you take notes.) Once you finish laying out the benefits (just mention the service delivery format i.e., 7 sessions, online training, 90 day program, etc.) Ask them do they have any questions. Then ANSWER them. More than likely their questions will be their objections. YOU need to be CRYSTAL clear on what it will cost them to NOT invest in themselves through your offer. That way you can stand in your power and not waiver when you are questioned. At some point they are going to ask you the price. Your respond should be something like this: You are not a commodity to be bought or sold. Neither are your dreams. YOU matter and so does your dreams and peace of mind. I invite you to relate to this opportunity as an investment in your most precious asset: yourself. Get that in before you talk money. It is a very different world than price. 3
ALWAYS have the following: The value of the offer The scholarship for investing now on the phone The actual investment A payment plan with interest Example: Street Smarts, a 15-week online course, teaches you how to create your responses instead of reacting to life s challenges. It s proven and effective. My clients have saved their marriages, started business, and healed deep wounds with parents they had carried for DECADES just by doing this step-by-step course with me. The value of the Street Smarts Customized Mentorship including all 15 trainings and a private call with me a week for the next 12 weeks is valued at $12k. (BE QUIET AND LET THEM HEAR THIS) But you will be happy to know that in honor of your deep commitment to you, when you invest in yourself on the phone with me right now, you investment is will only be $5k or a super simple 3-pay of $2500. This special offer is only good for this call. Once we hang up, you will pay the full investment of $12k. This is a saving of $7k by committing to yourself. As soon as your payment clears, you will receive the Self-Worth Blueprint Form that reveals WHY you react the way you do and what you can do to have your reactions work FOR you instead of against you! What is your billing address? They will either give you there billing address and then credit card information, or they will have questions or concerns. Listen and have your list of what THEY said they wanted. Read it back to them if they are getting cold feet and stand for them being free. You have to be willing to hold their feet to the fire of what they said they wanted if they start to hum and haw. You said you wanted to stop yelling at your kids when you react. Would being able to NOT do that, so you don t damage them like your parents did you worth 3 payments of $2500? 4
Can you see the boldness of my stand? I am simply repeating what she said and really having her get present to the cost of non-action. If someone says they have to ask their spouse, take down their billing information and agree on a time you will run the card if they DON T call you back to say other wise. If someone really can t afford the offer, have a $997 offer in your back pocket like they can listen to the recordings but don t get the worksheets. That way it s not work for you and they get access to get started. But only do this as a last resort. Or you can customize the page to instead of doing 15 you do 7 sessions for $3500. You get to say. But if you are working with them privately DO NOT go under $2k for more than 5 sessions. Whew! That was a lot of set-up!!!lol! Here are the steps: 1. Set the table. Lay out the ground rules so you can do your best work 2. Identify the problem. As person, Why now? What happened to make you invest the time to be with me today, in this season of your life? 3. Listen deeply. Listen for the emotional atmosphere, the unfulfilled expectations, the anger, desperations, grief, etc. that is present for them. 4. Bear Witness. Empathize human to human. Let them know they you hear them. You see them and you get it. Don t try to fix. Don t testify. Don t add ANYTHING just let them know you can hear and feel their frustration, disappointment, hurt, fear and that they are in the right place talking with you. 5. Expose the pain. Ask pointed clarifying questions that really REVEAL the level of pain they are in. Question like: a. Do you want to save your marriage or leave? Why? b. How much money did you loose when you didn t follow through? c. What was it like for your kids when they found out you cheated on your spouse? 5
Notice the emotional realness of these questions. You have to be wiling to go there and tell the truth so they can see what they are truly up against. 6. Show the gap. Now that the truth has been told you MUST show the gap from the pain to possibility. That means you have to ask this sort of question: a. If nothing changes, what will happen? b. If you don t learn how to make money, how will you pay for your child s college tuition this year? c. If you don t learn how to loose weight, how long before you have a heart attack? The gap is the thing most people avoid. It s like watching a train wreck about to happen. You have to show them train wreck in living color. 7. Paint possibility. Once they can feel the gap, throw them a line! Let them create for you what their life would look like if that pain were gone. Start with something like this: a. Imagine if you could replace your income in one year or less. What would that make available for you? b. What if you could get the support that works for YOU so you can exercise and foods that are health and taste good. What would you be able to do if you drop 20lbs in the next 6 months? c. Lets dream together. You are not longer pissed off with your parents. You don t have to scream at your kids anymore because you are healed. You can be the kind of mom for your kids you wished you mom had been for you. How would you parent? What would you do when your child acts out? The point here is for the person you are lovin on CREATES what s possible once the pain is gone, managed, or diminished. This MUST be THEIR creation. Not yours. Don t coach. Don t add. Just listen in love. If it sounds beautiful to you say that. Just gentle affirm what is possible for their lives. And take notes. 8. Bridge the Gap. Now that possibility is present, it s time to show them the distance from their pain to possibility with a bridge. The bridge is your offer. Here s how to enter: a. I am loving what you are creating for your life! And it s a far cry from damaging your child s sense of self to nurturing your child s self-expression. 6
Great job! So we can see there is a gap. (Pick one below and modify it to fit your offer) b. How are you going to get there? c. How are you going to become? d. How are you going to make? Let them confront they don t know now. Some people will try to come up with stuff they have already tried. Ask them, Have they tried that solution? What were the results? You have to stay with it until THEY realize and are willing to say they don t know. When they do, ask this question: How can I help? Then be quiet and listen. They will either say I don t know that s why I am on this call with you or the will ask about your programs or price. Wait on it. Let them ask. If you make an offer with out them being in the gap, it will not close. Once they ask you about your offer. Ask yourself is this someone my work can help or do I need to give them a referral? This VERY important. You are not making offers to everyone. You only make offers to people you can stand for and you can see your work will make a qualitative difference in their lives. If you feel like this is someone who is a good fit for YOU, then say something like this: I have a solution that I think will truly help. It s a 15-week private mentorship with me that teaches you how to create your response instead of reacting to life s challenges. It s called Street Smarts: Creating New Realities for Yourself and Your Life. I will be starting it in 2 weeks and I have room for a few more private clients. What other questions do you have. Notice I ask a LOT of questions instead of plowing through with a script. Asking pointed clarifying questions gives, you information unique to the person you are talking to. It makes you more present to listening and it converts extremely well. 9. Investment not Cost. I covered this earlier but I will say it again: you have to ensure people understand they are investing in themselves. That may mean you have to education them on the value of investing in themselves. Module the words I used earlier in this document. Once make your offer (I covered this earlier) be quiet and let them process. People process differently so be patient, firm, but kind. You 7
are standing for a new future for them and their life! This is a big deal. Honor the process of them choosing themselves! It is sacred. 10. Collect payment. Make a special offer right there on the spot and collect payment. It s not a sell if you don t collect payment. 11. Let them know what to expect. Once you have collected payment, let them know what is to follow. I believe in rewarding people with an IMMEDIATE tool or assignment to get them started right away. By so doing you alleviate the buyer s remorse by giving their minds something else to focus on. The assignment could be to make an inventory of the foods they have in the house that undermines their diet or a pre-course questionnaire. Give them the dates and times of your calls with them or let them know you will email them this info tomorrow. The bottom-line is take care of you new baby client! Give them EVERYTHING they need to feel good about this investment in themselves! 12. Celebrate and Close the Back Door! Acknowledge the dickens out of your new high-end private client!!! And let them know that this is only the 1 st step. Have them commit to implementing and completing the program powerfully. Remind them of your big promise as them to write down what they have at stake. Ask them how will they celebrate when they complete your work together. Then bear witness to their courage and commitment to their awe-inspiring future! 8