John s Welcome: Enjoy Public Speaking - Workbook Saying Goodbye to Fear or Discomfort www.endpublicspeakinganxiety.com Hi and welcome to a journey which will end with you being a person who will look forward to and enjoy speaking to a large audience. You will develop your speaking skills and begin a new experience that leads you to becoming an exemplary public speaker. You will want to continue to build your speaking and presentation skills every time you talk to a group in public. Here Are Some Tips To Help You Get The Most From This Course Do s 1. Set aside about 90 minutes to complete the course in one sitting. You will find it most effective if you can stay focused and do the exercises one right after the other. 2. Have Paper and Pen or Pencil ready with a place to write. We have a workbook you can download from the website www.endpublicspeakinganxiety.com/xxxxxx You must be signed in as a user to get the download. The workbook is great but you can use plain blank or lined notebook paper just as well. 3. Do your best to find a time and place where you won t be interrupted. You don t have to be alone although using headphones will allow you to stay focused if others are nearby. 4. Do all the exercises. Many of my clients have seen their fear, discomfort or anxiety of speaking in public vanish after only doing one exercise. Even so, I always have them do more in order to totally eliminate their discomfort of speaking in public and replacing it with actually enjoying speaking. 5. Keep in touch. When you have finished the course and enjoy speaking in public share your story with me. You can email me at john@endpublicspeakinganxiety.com Don ts 1. Listening while driving. Audio books are great but this course has exercises and techniques which require active participation and focus. It would be unsafe to listen to them while doing any activity like driving, which has it s own requirements for focus & safety. Copyright John Drebinger 2018 Page 1 of 20
Myths About Fear of Speaking Facts About Speaking In Public The most important fact is that you can enjoy public speaking and watch your fear vanish. After this course, you will never again speak or listen to fearful self-talk about speaking in public. You will feel comfortable and at peace before, during and after each public talk you give. Who Experiences a Fear of Speaking in Public? As I indicated earlier, about 75% of all people have a fear of speaking in public. Copyright John Drebinger 2018 Page 2 of 20
Other Approaches to Overcoming a Fear of speaking In Public There is a Greater Likelihood of Success When you Eliminate the Fear First! What Methods will We be Using? We are going to use several techniques to enable you to enjoy public speaking. Your fear of speaking in public will vanish. Any one of these techniques has worked on their own with my clients. Here we put them all together in order to crush and vanish a fear of public speaking. (A) You will decide what outcome(s) you have achieved. (B) We've already started by busting some of the myths surrounding the fear of public speaking. (C) You will determine how much you want to improve. (D) We will also change the meaning of this fear and the words you use to think, talk, and feel about it. (E) We will interrupt your old patterns. (F) You will change your focus. (G) You will learn about internal dialogue and how to control it. (H) You will also change the meaning of some of your physiological experiences. (I) You will change your self-talk. (J) You will create new patterns of success. (K) You will learn new skills. (L) You will enjoy speaking in public. Copyright John Drebinger 2018 Page 3 of 20
Discomfort vs. Fear The words you use can affect how you think. Every word has an energy level. Change the Meaning - Change the Feeling Words You Say to Yourself Choose the words you use intentionally when you talk to yourself because they, in addition to the questions you ask, will direct your life and your communication with others. For right now, let s agree to change the words we use to describe how you feel about speaking in public. Decide to say, I feel uncomfortable speaking in public. You have already gone from a fear of public speaking to only being uncomfortable when speaking in public. How Did You Learn to be Uncomfortable Speaking in Public? Copyright John Drebinger 2018 Page 4 of 20
How Are You Uncomfortable Today? EXERCISE: If I were to ask you what makes you uncomfortable speaking in public what would you tell me? Using this workbook, record your thoughts Copyright John Drebinger 2018 Page 5 of 20
Outcomes Now that we know where you are, here s the question: Where do you want to be? In other words, what outcome do you want? Specifically, what is your challenge? It is important to state your outcomes in the positive. Let s consider your outcome. What do you want to achieve regarding speaking in public? The following are some outcomes clients have chosen: I want to enjoy speaking in public. I want to enjoy speaking to my work team. I want to be comfortable speaking in front of a group. I want to be calm when speaking in public. EXERCISE: Take a moment and write down an outcome you want to achieve. Using this workbook, record your thoughts Copyright John Drebinger 2018 Page 6 of 20
Now Check Your Outcome s Effectiveness Here are some guidelines to check your outcome s effectiveness. Is it clear and specific? Is it stated in the positive? Is it achievable? It is important for you to believe it is achievable. If you don t believe that then what s the point of trying? Because you have purchased this course, you certainly believe you can enjoy public speaking. You believe it is achievable and have sought out a solution. Is achieving this outcome worth the effort? Once again, this one is easy because the techniques you will be using with me are easy to do. There are some outcomes in life that take massive effort, but fortunately, this one is easy. Take a moment and look at the outcome you have written down and check it against the list I have just shared with you. Copyright John Drebinger 2018 Page 7 of 20
Make Your Outcome Sensory Specific Take your written outcome, which is stated in the positive and make it sensory specific. What do I mean? Involving as many of your five senses as possible in your outcome makes it laser-focused for your mind. For enjoying speaking in public, you can readily apply the senses of sight, hearing, and touch (feeling) to your outcome. The clearer your target, the easier it is to hit the mark. I want you to ask yourself the following questions: As you answer the questions below see them as if you are looking down at yourself speaking to an audience. As if you were in the balcony looking at yourself in front of an audience and seeing the people smiling at you in the front of the room. We call this viewpoint being "dis-associated. This view helps make the outcome more compelling. In other exercises, I will refer to a different viewpoint, which is called associated. Using the associated viewpoint, you are viewing the situation through your own eyes. A good way to compare these two viewpoints is to imagine you re driving down a road. Disassociated is what you would see if you were at the side of the road seeing yourself in a car driving by. Associated would be what you would see out of your own eyes as the driver, such as your hands on the steering wheel, the windshield in front of you and the road ahead. What will you see when you have achieved your outcome? Imagine looking at yourself from the balcony seeing a large or small audience smiling as you speak, seeing you in front of an audience laughing at a humorous story you have told. See yourself at the front of the room as people come up to you after a talk to learn more or just to meet you in person the list goes on and on. Copyright John Drebinger 2018 Page 8 of 20
EXERCISE: Take a moment and write down the things you believe you will see when you have achieved your desired outcome. Using this workbook, record your thoughts Copyright John Drebinger 2018 Page 9 of 20
What will you hear when you have achieved your outcome? Imagine yourself standing at the side of the room listening in on what is happening as you see yourself in the front of an audience. You will hear yourself getting applause. You will hear people complimenting you after your presentation. You will hear people who have come to meet you after your talk sharing their own story that relates to what you talked about. You will hear people thanking you for your thoughtful and inspiring presentation. Just as with what you will see the list of what you will hear also goes on and on. Take a moment and write down the things you believe you will hear when you have achieved your desirable outcome. Using this workbook, record your thoughts Copyright John Drebinger 2018 Page 10 of 20
What will you feel when you have achieved your outcome? Imagine watching yourself from the balcony feeling excited and happy. You will feel appreciated. You will feel a warmth from connecting with other people. You will feel a sense of satisfaction. Imagine and think of every positive feeling you will have after you enjoy speaking in public. Take a moment and write down the things you believe you will feel when you have achieved your outcome. Using this workbook, record your thoughts Copyright John Drebinger 2018 Page 11 of 20
EXERCISE: Now that you have this awesome outcome, take a moment and ask yourself where you are right now. Do this in an associated state (looking out your own eyes seeing what you see) Next, let s make sure you will know when you have achieved your desired outcome. Ask yourself, how will you know when you have achieved your outcome? What will you see, hear and feel? Copyright John Drebinger 2018 Page 12 of 20
Make Your Outcome Compelling What do I mean by this? Simple, you want to make your outcome something you absolutely must achieve. EXERCISE: Take a moment and think of answers to the following questions: How much do you want to feel comfortable speaking in public? Are you willing to do whatever it takes to achieve your outcome? Copyright John Drebinger 2018 Page 13 of 20
What will this outcome get for you or allow you to do? (This is what makes the difference between a wish list and a compelling future.) What are the negative consequences of your discomfort with speaking in public? Copyright John Drebinger 2018 Page 14 of 20
What are the positive consequences of enjoying public speaking? Are there enough reasons to achieve your positive outcome? Copyright John Drebinger 2018 Page 15 of 20
Enough Is Enough Many people who make a significant change in their life do so because they are simply fed up with their current attitude, thinking, or behavior. They get to a point where they say to themselves, enough is enough - Now is the time to change! I m going to read through the next exercise so you understand what you need to do. When you understand the instructions do the exercise as described. EXERCISE: Think of several times when you have been afraid of speaking in public. These may have happened with much time between them but we are going to change that to get a better outcome. Now, take several of those times and examine them as if they happened one right after the other. This will help you become more and more disgusted with thinking you are fearful of public speaking. Think of at least five different times when you were embarrassed by your fear, when you felt stupid because you were afraid. Copyright John Drebinger 2018 Page 16 of 20
The next step is to look at these events as if you were looking at yourself doing them the disassociated perspective. Almost as if you were watching a movie of you being afraid of speaking in public. Take those five incidents and run them as a movie on a screen, through your mind one right after the other. With each memory, make it more intense. Make the images or pictures in your mind bigger, brighter, and closer. Look as if you are looking down at yourself; actually watching yourself going through the fear. Imagine looking down at yourself being afraid of speaking and feeling more and more ridiculous. Do this step several times faster and faster and you will discover you are feeling really fed up with your fear of speaking in public. You may even hear yourself say this is ridiculous, enough is enough. Interrupt Patterns - Change Focus EXERCISE: Take a moment and think of what makes you uncomfortable when or before you speak in public. Be sure to write down as many as you can think of. Copyright John Drebinger 2018 Page 17 of 20
Some of the things people have told me are: What if I trip on the stairs to the stage? What if I trip on the stage? What if I forget my material or my lines? What if I go blank? What if I lose control of the audience? What if my pants are unzipped? What if I lose my place? What if I look fat? What if I look too thin? What if I don't know enough? What if I can't answer a question? What if I fall off the stage? What if I pass gas? What if I throw up? What if I my hands shake? What if I pronounce a word wrong? Remember the list you made earlier and add any of these that apply to you. Copyright John Drebinger 2018 Page 18 of 20
What Do All Fears of Public Speaking Have In Common? The Story of I It s All About the Audience How to Change Your Internal Dialogue Questions When you ask all these audience-centered questions, you won t have time to be afraid for yourself. Now you have the tools to be comfortable speaking in front of any group. It s All About Meaning Meaning has a lot to do with any discomfort you may have experienced with speaking in public. It's how you interpret it and what meaning you give it. Self-Talk Your self-talk or internal dialogue impacts you profoundly. When you change your selftalk, your identity can change. Self-talk is very powerful because your unconscious mind actually listens to you. Dealing with Negative Self-Talk FUTURE PACE EXERCISE: Step 10 days into the future and see what you have been able to accomplish now that you are no longer uncomfortable speaking in public now that you are no longer generating the old behaviors now that you are generating new behaviors with which you are comfortable, or perhaps even better, behaviors that your unconscious mind has come up with over the last ten days. See all these new powerful behaviors and results through your own eyes. See what you d be seeing, hear what you d be hearing, and feel Copyright John Drebinger 2018 Page 19 of 20
what you d be feeling. Think of a context in which you might have generated the old behavior, and now see, hear, and feel how differently you are responding. Now, step 6 months into the future and see what you have been able to accomplish now that you are no longer uncomfortable speaking in public now that you are no longer generating the old fearful emotions now that you are generating new behaviors with which you are comfortable, or perhaps even better behaviors that your unconscious mind has come up with over the last ten days. See all these new powerful behaviors and results through your own eyes. See what you d be seeing, hear what you d be hearing, and feel what you d be feeling. Think of a context in which you might have generated the old behavior, and now see, hear, and feel how differently you are now responding. See through your own eyes all the creative possibilities because you are no longer uncomfortable speaking in public but have chosen to enjoy speaking in public before both small and large audiences. Your New Skills When I discussed anxiety, fear, and discomfort I mentioned how most of those states are automatic. You used to have a pattern or technique enabling you to feel those negative emotions or feelings. Now you have an entirely different set of skills to replace your old mental programing. Your new skills are: The Power of Words - When you change the words you use, you change your thoughts and your life. The Power of Focus - When you focus on your audience and their needs, personal discomfort disappears. Make your internal dialogue about your audience. Always put them first. The Power of Meaning - Choose meanings or labels that influence you to enjoy speaking in public. The Power of Affirmations - Use positive affirmations about how you enjoy speaking in public. The Power of Mental Rehearsal - Imagine yourself in speaking situations where you are confident, powerful, and effective. Please keep in touch. I love to hear from all the people who use these techniques and now love to speak in public! john@endpublicspeakinganxiety.com Copyright John Drebinger 2018 Page 20 of 20