THE MORE YOU REJECT ME,

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Transcription:

THE MORE YOU REJECT ME, THE BIGGER I GET by Stephen Moles Beard of Bees Press Number 111 December, 2015

Date: 27/06/2013 09:41 Dear Stephen, Thank you for your email. We appreciate your interest and the chance to consider your work. The idea is interesting but it is not right for us at this time. Thanks again and best of luck. Sincerely, 1

Date: 01/07/2013 10:14 Dear Mr Moles, Thank you very much for contacting about The More You Reject Me, the Bigger I Get. We are sorry to say we don t feel sufficiently positive about the book to take it any further. Because of the high volume of submissions we receive, we are unfortunately unable to give you more detailed feedback. Thank you again for thinking of us, and we wish you the best of luck in finding a home for your work. Best wishes, 2

Date: 10/07/2013 12:16 Dear Stephen, I found the initial concept of the book interesting, although I have to say it leaves a bit to be desired. You describe it as ironic, but if the rejection letters are not for a book/books which has/have actually been published, there doesn t seem to be anything ironic about it. A book of rejection letters for literary works that are now firmly established bestsellers/classics would contain dramatic irony and would be satisfying to read, but I think that kind of thing already exists. The More You Reject Me, the Bigger I Get, however, is simply a collection of rejection letters that are, quite understandably, rejecting a book because it doesn t yet exist and is highly unlikely to become a classic if published. Therefore, I am going to pass. Thanks anyway, 3

Date: 19/07/2013 18:32 Dear Mr Moles, Thank you for your approaching with your book idea. The idea is solid enough but it needs something else because what you re proposing is just the idea alone, without any real writing. The gaps are bigger than the content, to be honest. Sorry I can t be more positive. All the best, 4

Date: 25/07/2013 17:04 Dear Stephen, Thanks for your email. This certainly sounds like an unusual work and we applaud you for your originality. We don t, however, feel this is a good fit with our other titles. We encourage you to approach us again if you have a more conventional book to offer (ideally something with characters, a plotline, and in the form of a completed manuscript). Sincerely, 5

Date: 04/08/2013 11:46 Dear Stephen, You ask if I would like to publish what you describe as a non-existent book made up of rejections of itself. I m not sure I understand what you are offering, or whether it is in fact some sort of joke, and for that reason my answer is no. Regards, 6

Date: 11/08/2013 09:58 Dear Stephen, Thank you for approaching us with your book proposal. My colleagues and I discussed it but the general consensus was that despite being a quirky idea, it would not be a particularly entertaining read. By around the seventh letter, the reader would probably start getting bored, so it s not really enough for an entire book. Nonetheless, we would like to thank you for thinking of us, and we wish you the best of luck with your writing in the future. Best, 7

Date: 20/08/2013 15:39 Dear Stephen, Thanks for thinking of. Unfortunately I am going to pass on The More You Reject Me, the Bigger I Get. I must confess to being slightly confused by your assertion that the rejection letters bring the non-existent book into being. First of all, if the book is made up of rejection letters, it is not nonexistent; secondly, you don t go into any detail about the content of the rejection letters. I wish you the best of luck placing your work elsewhere. Sincerely, 8

Date: 25/08/2013 10:01 Dear Stephen, Thanks for your query about The More You Reject Me, the Bigger I Get. It s an interesting concept, but I m afraid I can t imagine much demand for it. I think your best option would be to self-publish and perhaps give away free copies with something more substantial. People aren t usually willing to pay for something that is purely conceptual. Best of luck, 9

Date: 04/09/2013 12:06 Hello Stephen, Thanks for getting in touch. We have published a few epistolary novels in the past, so I was interested to read your proposal for The More You Reject Me, the Bigger I Get. However, after looking at it, I was left wondering where the story is. Presumably you are attempting to create a narrative about yourself as the main character; but if the book is only made up of responses to your letters, I don t see how there is much scope to say anything meaningful. Thanks again, and good luck with your writing. Yours, 10

Date: 15/09/2013 10:24 Dear Stephen, Thank you so much for the opportunity to consider The More You Reject Me, the Bigger I Get. It is always an honour to be able to assess the unpublished creations of writers all over the world. We gave your work careful consideration but eventually came to the conclusion that it is somewhat lacking in substance and would not make for a riveting read. With best wishes, 11

Date: 26/09/2013 18:12 Dear Stephen, Thank you for getting in touch about your book. The idea sounds like an elaborate joke, one which is ultimately at the publisher s expense. I would find it funny if it was at a rival publisher s expense, so I wish you luck in placing this book, but I do not want to be the butt of the joke. Sincerely, 12

Date: 30/09/2013 13:55 Stephen, It s not the worst book proposal I ve ever received, but I m not too enthusiastic about publishing that sort of thing. The problem is that you are severely restricting yourself by only using rejection letters since they are usually short, generic and lifeless. If, for instance, I began telling you about how my wife recently left me for a young man who is only four years older than our son, it would seem rather incongruous in a rejection letter, don t you think? In my opinion, you ve picked the most confining form of writing to work with and are going to struggle to include anything dramatic like that in your book. Kind regards, 13

Date: 02/10/2013 11:08 Hi, Thanks for giving us the chance to consider The More You Reject Me, the Bigger I Get. Unfortunately this has no commercial potential whatsoever. I m guessing the title is a reference to a Morrissey song, but that s not enough to guarantee sales, I m afraid. All the best, 14

Date: 05/10/2013 14:12 Dear Stephen, I m still not sure what you re proposing. How can you make editors reject their own rejection letters? I m going to pass on this. Thanks anyway. Regards, 15

Date: 08/10/2013 12:10 Hi Stephen, Thank you for your email. I m afraid I don t feel sufficiently excited by the premise of The More You Reject Me, the Bigger I Get to consider publishing it. Your aim of trying to illustrate to people how the universe came into being (or how the Void comes to know itself, as you put it) is certainly commendable, but I m not sure if that can be done with a small collection of rejection letters. With such an aim, you d be better off creating a book of Zen proverbs, or something similar. Perhaps some haikus, poetic compositions, one each to a page? Best of luck with that, 16

Date: 13/10/2013 10:19 Dear Stephen Moles, Thank you very much for offering us the chance to consider your work. We found your proposal very interesting, although also somewhat vague as it s not clear what the book within the book (ie. the one being rejected) is about. Nonetheless, we can still say it does not sound like a good fit for us at this time. Thanks again for thinking of. Sincerely, 17

Date: 21/10/2013 09:45 Hi, I m not sure I agree that your book is a unique way of communicating a philosophical message about existence and the death of the author. It just sounds like The Timewaster Letters without any jokes to me. I think I ll pass. Cheers anyway, 18

Date: 02/11/2013 11:34 Dear Stephen Moles, Thank you for your enquiry about The More You Reject Me, the Bigger I Get. If I ve understood correctly, you are saying that because the not-yet-existent book is effectively an unasked question along the lines of To be or not to be? (and because your entire query letter can be summarised as: Should the unasked question exist? ) it means that answering either yes or no amounts to an affirmation of both the question and the book. Stephen, to put it bluntly, if The More You Reject Me, the Bigger I Get consists of nothing but a single Shakespeare quote, the book should not exist. No one would want to buy a book containing a single, sentencelong question, asked or unasked (presumably there is no question mark at the end of the sentence, as this is the only way I can envisage it being unasked, but omitting a tiny part of the original quote does not suddenly make it original, I m afraid to say). Since the entirety of your planned manuscript already exists in the thousands of different editions of Hamlet in the world, To be or not to be? has obviously been asked many times in book form before and has also been answered on numerous occasions. I hope that answers your asked or unasked question. I would recommend looking at the Writers & Artists Yearbook in order to gain a better understanding what today s publishers are looking for. Sincerely, 19

Date: 15/11/2013 17:11 Dear Mr Moles, Thank you for your query regarding The More You Reject Me, the Bigger I Get. I cannot make a commitment to a book based on an idea alone. At the very least, I would need to see a sample rejection letter so I can get a feel for the style. Yours, 20

Date: 23/11/2013 16:14 Hello Stephen, Luring people into answering (and implicitly asking) an unasked existential question by contacting them about your conceptual book? In some ways it sounds like you re a meta-author using editors as writing tools; in other ways it sounds like you re just lazily getting editors to write a book for you. Please take this as confirmation that I will not be writing any material for your book. Best, 21

Date: 17/12/2013 12:08 Hello Stephen, Apologies for taking so long to respond. I found the description of The More You Reject Me, the Bigger I Get intriguing. It is the kind of thing I can imagine catching people s attention but not holding it for very long, unfortunately. I doubt most people would even bother reading all the way to the end of the book. If they do, you need to reward them with a climactic ending... some huge twist or something. I m not sure what, but you should try to come up with that before attempting to publish it, otherwise I think the reader will be left disappointed. Good luck, 22

STEPHEN MOLES is the author of many uncategorisable works which are part of an effort to be the first dead author to inform himself in writing of his nonexistence. He is also the founder of the Dark Meaning Research Institute.

Copyright c 2015 Beard of Bees Press Oak Park / Chicago, Illinois Beard of Bees books are freely redistributable. www.beardofbees.com