ENGAGEMENT GUIDE FOR MEN

ENGAGEMENT GUIDE FOR MEN

CONTENTS YOUR GOAL 02 ANATOMY OF THE RING 03 THE DIAMOND 04 THE FOUR C S 05 THE BASIC SHAPES 06 SETTING STYLES 07 SIDE STONE SETTINGS 08 SETTING NOTES 09 METALS AND FINISHES 10 START WITH HER 12 CONSIDER HER STYLE 13 PLANNING THE PROPOSAL 14 BUDGETING FOR YOUR RING 15 SHOPPING FOR YOUR RING 16 AND FINALLY... 17 01

YOUR GOAL Every proposal is unique but the goal is universal. You want to choose a ring that suits her, and one she ll love. Heirloom have designed this guide to give you clear, useful information about engagement and wedding rings, diamonds and hints for the proposal itself. A FEW FACTS MOST MEN SHOP ONE TO THREE MONTHS BEFORE BUYING THE ENGAGEMENT RING. MOST MEN WILL SPEND A BIT MORE THAN THEY HAVE INITIALLY PLANNED. BUT REMEMBER, THE ENGAGEMENT RING AND ACCOMPANYING WEDDING BANDS WILL BE THE MOST SIGNIFICANT GIFT YOU LL EVER GIVE HER. THE ENGAGEMENT RING AND WEDDING BANDS ARE THE ONLY WEDDING-RELATED PURCHASE WITH LONG TERM INVESTMENT VALUE, UNLIKE THE COST OF FLOWERS OR THE RECEPTION. THE INTERNET IS A POPULAR PLACE TO RESEARCH RINGS. THE CHALLENGE IS FINDING USEFUL INFORMATION AMONGST THE OPINIONS WHICH ARE AVAILABLE. LOOK FOR CONSENSUS ON REPUTABLE PAGES. OF THE THREE RINGS THAT WILL BE PURCHASED, IT IS COMMON TO BUY THE ENGAGEMENT RING FIRST, THEN THE WEDDING BANDS. MOST COUPLES PREFER WEDDING BANDS THAT MATCH THE METAL OF THE ENGAGEMENT RING AND COMPLIMENT IT BOTH IN LOOK AND FIT. HOWEVER, IF SHE WEARS BOTH GOLD AND SILVER THEN SHE MAY WISH TO MIX HER METALS TOO. 02

ANATOMY OF THE RING Knowing what to look for before you begin your engagement ring journey will make it much easier for you when you visit a jeweller, or speak to a concierge. Start by knowing the basic components. THE SETTING Usually platinum or gold, the setting holds the stone/stones securely and gives the ring its unique design. The more durable the precious metal, the better protected your investment will be. Platinum is the most enduring, but if you prefer a gold setting these are also durable. Silver is good for a temporary setting but will wear faster than the other two. THE STONE The centre stone almost always accounts for the largest portion of the ring cost. The size, quality, clarity and cut of the gemstone determine the ring s overall value. There are of course, plenty of alternatives to having a diamond dependant on your colour preferences. The Stone The Setting or Mount The Shoulder The Band or Shank The Hallmark All platinum and gold engagement rings require to be hallmarked by law. The hallmark is your assurance that the metal purity is as described. 03

THE DIAMOND The gemstone is the centrepiece of the ring, and the first thing people notice. Over 80% of all engagement rings have a diamond centre stone. DURABILITY Their status as the hardest gemstone makes them both precious and incomparably durable. Durability is particularly important for the engagement ring will be worn every day, for all manner of activities. ANATOMY To make it easier to evaluate diamonds, the GIA (Gemological Institute of America) developed the four key criteria which will determine a diamond s quality and ultimately value. It is known as the 4 C s. We ll cover this on the next page, but first will start with a look at the anatomy of a stone. The Table - The single largest facet or the stone The Crown The Girdle The Pavillion The Culet 04

THE FOUR C S COLOUR - GIA COLOUR SCALE D E F COLOURLESS G H I J K NEAR COLOURLESS L M N FAINT O P Q R S T U VERY LIGHT Diamonds are judged for their colour, or lack thereof. In most cases (with the exception of fancy colours), the whiter the diamond, the more valuable. The colour of a diamond is graded V W X Y Z LIGHT using a colour scale, the most reliable being from GIA which proceeds in alphabetical order from D-Z with D standing for colourless and Z for coloured with strong hints of yellow or brown. CLARITY - GIA CLARITY SCALE FLAWLESS INTERNALLY FLAWLESS VVS1 VVS2 VERY VERY SLIGHTLY INCLUDED VS1 VS2 VERY SLIGHTLY INCLUDED A diamond s clarity is rated by the number, size and position of inclusions (or flaws)it has. Inclusions, which give each diamond its uniqueness and is somethings referred to as SI1 SI2 I1 SLIGHTLY INCLUDED I2 I3 INCLUDED nature s fingerprints are not usually visible to the naked eye unless magnified. The fewer the inclusions, the more valuable the stone. CUT CARAT The cut of a diamond refers to the angles, shapes and proportions of each stone. A well cut diamond s shape and proportions optimise the natural radiance and brilliance of the stone by reflecting and refracting the light back through the top of the stone. The carat is a unit of measurement used to weigh diamonds. Although a higher carat weight may increase its rarity and value, the cut, colour and clarity of the diamond greatly impact the price. Small stones can be more expensive than large stones if the other qualities rate highly. Did you know...less than 20% of all diamonds mined are deemed jewellery quality. 05

THE BASIC SHAPES There are ten commonly known shapes for diamonds, and several more less commonly known. The most popular shapes are detailed here. ROUND The most popular shape for engagement rings, the cut of the stone helps maximise it s fire and brilliance. It is also the most costly shape of stone, most jewellery diamonds being naturally octahedral in shape. CUSHION A very popular shape, which is actually one of the oldest known diamond cuts. The modern cushion has a soft, plush appearance, good for all hand shapes. EMERALD Emerald shape diamonds offer a classic look, supplying a more vintage type of sparkle. Square emeralds (sometimes known under the brand name Asscher ) also make lovely solitaires. OVAL Viewed as a more classic stone shape, oval diamonds make a ring slightly more distinct to the classic round. Good in three stone rings. PEAR Pear shape stones offer a more unusual setting, being more commonly used in pendants and earrings. They are particularly effective for shorter fingers, creating a feeling of length, and are good value too. SQUARE The modern square shape is also known as a Princess cut, and is one of the more recent diamond shapes. It is a cost friendly centre stone, although care should be taken, it doesn t suit every hand. 06

SETTING STYLES The more clear you are about how to define your preferred setting, the easier it is to narrow down what you are looking for. In the UK, these are the terms for the most popular engagement ring centre stone settings. CATHEDRAL SETTING Also known as contour. Similar to claw, but here rising shoulders protect the stone on two sides. This creates a very secure base for claws. Best For: Those looking for a stylish option while favouring a traditional appearance. CLAW SETTING Also known as Prong. The claw setting was developed by the great Charles Tiffany himself, looking for a way to maximise the light reaching all angles of the diamond. This is a very classic style, which ensures the ring will never be out of style. Common settings are 4 or six claws. But as many as 8 may be used, or as few as two. Best For: Those looking for a classic ring style. RUBOVER SETTING Also known as bezel. This setting is a frame of precious metal which surrounds the stone keeping it both secure and protected. This is also a great setting for creating an illusion of size around the diamond. Best For: Those who like clean and modern looks, as well as those with an active lifestyle. HALO SETTING A halo setting may have claws or a rubover securing the centre stone, what makes it a halo is the stone being surrounded by a ring of tiny diamonds. The Halo is a great setting for smaller stones, it s bejewelled frame creating a far larger spectacle that is more cost effective. CLUSTER SETTING A cluster setting is made of lots of smaller stones grouped together to create the illusion of a larger centrepiece. Choosing a lot of smaller diamonds is a cost effective solution to achieving a bigger sparkling effect on the finger than one a single larger stone. Best For: Those who really want to get as much sparkle out of their ring as possible. Best For: Ring buyers who are inspired by a vintage effect, or those on a tight budget. TENSION SETTING The most modern of all the settings, and yet this is still 40 years old. The stone is gripped in place by two hundred and twenty pounds of pressure, and appears to hover in space. Best For: Those who crave a modern setting that is quite distinct from what the crowd are wearing. 07

SIDE STONE SETTINGS It doesn t end with the centre stone on a ring. Side stones can be added to an engagement ring style for extra sparkle. In general these will be diamonds, because of their resistance to wear, but sapphires are another option. GRAIN SETTING Also known as bead or millgrain setting. A side setting designed to maximise the light entering the side stones. Tiny diamonds are held in place by fine beads of metal. Best For: Those who want diamonds which cover the width of the ring band. BAR SETTING The most classic of the side settings, bar settings are mainly found on bespoke ring designs and secure the stone while still allowing light to enter. Best For: Those who appreciate the class and style of a bygone era. CHANNEL SETTING The stones are secured in place between two parallels of metal. This is the most secure setting for side stones as the metal protects the tiny stone. Sometimes combined with a grain setting. Best For: Those who like to keep things simple and understated. Also good for very active hands. FLUSH SETTING A natural looking setting where side stones are secured in tiny holes. Best For: Those who appreciate a more artisan and clean effect. PAVE SETTING Similar to grain, but where minute metal beads hold a spread of diamonds in their own highly discreet settings, creating a carpet of sparkle. Best For: Those who love a vintage and antique feel. 08

SETTING NOTES An engagement ring as well as the wedding band is going to be subjected to daily wear. This will include stress, chemicals, bumps and bangs. It is assumed here that the stone to be selected will be hard wearing, which also means that it will be valuable. And as such, the ring setting needs to be carefully considered, and one which will hold stones securely and protect them is an absolute must. PLATINUM SETTINGS Platinum will be covered in more detail further in this guide, but it is recognised as the most secure way to set a stone, and has been used for its enduring qualities. Virtually all of the famous gemstones, from the Star of Africa to the Hope Diamond are secured in platinum settings. Being naturally white, it also doesn t interfere with the colour of the stone either. GOLD SETTINGS Gold settings are used for securing precious stones, and particularly in the case of yellow, brown or orange stones, it enhances the warmth of the stone shades. Stones are as secure set in gold as they are in platinum, but should be checked more regularly as the metal can wear slightly faster. 09

METALS AND FINISHES In addition to diamonds and setting basics, there is another decision required, the metal and finish of the ring. WHY PRECIOUS METALS? Gold, and platinum are the go-to metal choices for engagement rings with good reason. They won t corrode or oxidize, so don t change colour. Their density means, they will keep their looks with constant wear, and being highly malleable and ductile, means they can be used for highly intricate designs. As both can be cut and seamlessly repaired, should an accident cause finger swelling the ring can be safely removed. Perfect for something precious which is going to become an heirloom. ABOUT PLATINUM Platinum is a naturally white metal with a moonlight luminosity that is found in very few places in the earth. Jewellery is truly hypoallergenic being 95% pure metal in the UK. It is viewed as highly enduring, its properties mean that it does not wear away or change colour. It is about 40% heavier than gold and has pioneered some of the most avant-garde jewellery design of the last century. ABOUT GOLD Gold is one of only two non-white metals in the periodic table. It has a warm lustrous glow and has been treasured for thousands of years. Gold itself is relatively hypoallergenic, although as its standard in the UK is 18Kt (75% pure) care has to be taken to ensure that it is alloyed with metals which will not cause reactions. Pure gold is heavier than lead and it is highly ductile, just a gram can be beaten into a sheet of gold leaf 1M 2. 10

WHAT ABOUT WHITE GOLD? White gold is pure gold, which has been alloyed with a white metal, to create a white shade. It is often then rhodium plated for a brilliant white finish. White gold is often slightly cheaper than the platinum equivalent; however, even a high white alloy will not look as white. Rhodium plated white gold will eventually wear away to a dull grey looking metal underneath. At Heirloom we think white gold is fine for pendants and earrings, but for rings we d always recommend platinum. THE SCRATCH FACTOR All precious metals will scratch. Gold rings tend to retain their shine because each scratch removes a microscopic sliver of metal, polishing the surface down. Platinum develops a matt patina because when it is scratched the metal is mainly displaced rather than lost, and can be re-polished. This is why gold wears down faster than platinum, but requires less polishing. METAL FINISHES The most popular finish in the UK is polished, but some prefer a more matte or brushed effect on the surface. Hammered Brushed Satin Polished 11

START WITH HER You want to narrow down the criteria which you know is going to make your intended fiancée the happiest. For some guys, the easiest way to get around this is to ask. However, in the UK, the majority of men want to surprise her. So here are some tips on how to do this; DETERMINING HER RING SIZE There are some helpful tricks to finding out her ring size; Trace the inside of one of her rings onto a sheet of paper and measure the diameter. Push one of her rings into a lump of plastacine or blue tac and measure the diameter of the marks. Borrow one of her rings and take it for measuring. Put one of her rings on your finger, and mark where it rests with a pen. If a trusted friend/family can be brought into the act; - Check her sister s finger size (provided they are similar). - Get a married friend to get her to hand model for an eternity ring. Check her hand size against that of the sales consultant. You ve held her hand often enough, you ll be surprised how good a rough idea you ll have. Finding her ring size can be based on a rough idea, as many designs can be resized. If it is a ring which is difficult to resize once made (for example a tension setting or full diamond band) then consider giving her a silver placeholder sometimes you can get a replica of the ring you want to present to her. Women are quite vocal about that they like with their girlfriends. Keep your ears alert when one of her girlfriends gets engaged, as she will invariably pass her opinion on the ring. If she is close to her mother, or sister/sister in law they may be strong allies. She may give you additional clues; DETERMINING HER TASTES Linger in front of certain jewellery designs, or leave them open on her laptop screen. Leave magazines with jewellery images lying around. Draw your attention to a ring in a particularly off hand way. Chances are, she is subtly (or unsubtly as the case may be) communicating what she has in mind. 12

CONSIDER HER STYLE Putting together a quick style profile will help you consider settings from an aesthetic view point. Very broadly, most women will fit into one of the six groups below. Once you ve worked this out, it will help you again as you narrow down ring designs and decide what is going to be best for her. THE CLASSIC These women prefer basics the T-shirt, blazer, white shirt, suit, and trousers and look effortlessly chic in simple staple pieces. Setting style: Four or six claw Centre Stone Shapes: Round, emerald, square emerald, oval THE BOHEMIAN Bell-bottoms may have given way to breezy gowns, if your beloved is a freespirited style setter she ll love earthy, ethnic-inspired looks. Dressing like a modern-day flower child doesn t mean she ll look sloppy. Setting style: Rubover, four claw Centre Stone Shapes: Round, oval, cushion THE LADY Grace Kelly s white-glove look may be a little old-fashioned, but her prim, polished, and pulledtogether air still resonates with today s refined set. She ll enjoy smart dresses, and elegant skirts and tops. Maybe a little overlap with the Classic. Setting style: Six claw, cathedral, halo Centre Stone Shapes: Round, cushion, pear, heart THE MAVERICK If she likes new designers and is happiest with avant-garde cuts and bold looks she is not afraid to experiment. These girls are likely to be looking for something different. Setting style: Two or three claw, semi rubover, tension Centre Stone Shapes: Round, marquis, square emerald, princess THE MINIMALIST Sleek, simple shapes in a monochrome, toneddown palette is what has your girlfriend looking sharp and smart. She is likely to prefer black as her wardrobe staple whether in a skirt, top, pant, or dress. She may have a little of The Maverick in her style. Setting style: Four claw, rubover, tension Centre Stone Shapes: Round, oval, cushion emerald, oval THE ECLECTIC It s all about having fun with fashion for these playful women. Bright colors, madcap pairings, and loud patterns are part of the package. She follows her heart when she s shopping, and you never know what she s going to be wearing next! Setting style: Six claw, cathedral, halo, cluster Centre Stone Shapes: Round, oval, marquis, pear 13

PLANNING THE PROPOSAL You would like to make the proposal an event she will always remember. Whether you are planning something spectacular or quite intimate, the following tips are starting points for crafting a very personal engagement. CRAFTING A VERY PERSONAL PROPOSAL The biggest piece of advice to take is that about the best laid plans of mice and men. She may not be feeling well, or want to climb that hill, or go out for dinner. Keep your plans flexible, as when you ask her to spend the rest of her life with you, the setting really won t matter! WHAT WAS THE MOST MEMORABLE (OR FUNNIEST) THING ABOUT YOUR FIRST DATE? USE YOUR FIRST DATE/KISS/TIME YOU MET OR SPOKE AS A BASIS OR THEME. WHAT ARE HER FAVOURITE THINGS? THINK OF PLACES, FOODS, COLOURS, FLOWERS, ACTIVITIES, MUSIC, MOVIES SHE LOVES AND INCORPORATE THESE INTO YOUR PLAN, WITH A FEW SPECIAL TOUCHES TO SHOW HOW WELL YOU KNOW HER. KEEP IT SIMPLE AND MAKE IT FUN. SOME OF THE BEST PROPOSALS AREN T ELABORATE. THE INVOLVE AND INSIDE JOKE, A PAST EXPERIENCE OR A PRIVATE MEMORY MEANINGFUL TO YOU AS A COUPLE. INCLUDE LOVED ONES OR CLOSE FRIENDS. 14

BUDGETING FOR YOUR RING There is a lot of information out there for the key question how much should I spend on my engagement ring? BUDGET CONSIDERATIONS Some companies are particularly helpful with how many months salary should be spent. This is one area where at Heirloom London we break ranks and advise you to spend whatever you feel most comfortable with. You will still find something meaningful. For many men (and women too) the engagement ring is likely to be the most expensive jewellery purchase they have ever made. Dowry or gift, it does not make sense to get into debt to purchase it. It is very likely that you may go over budget, but this shouldn t be more than 10%. The biggest challenge for many, is knowing how much an engagement ring costs. Heirloom have illustrated some cost expectations below for their rings using round brilliant diamonds, as these stones command the highest prices so other stone shapes will be similar or less. With all rough estimates, this guide looks at estimates. We ve detailed Gvs1 type GIA certified stones of visibly excellent quality (as we check every stone before a client sees it). Theses hopefully will help you with setting some expectations. Stone Description Stone Ø Price Estimate 0.40ct in platinum 4.7mm 1,800 0.50ct in platinum 5.2mm 2,500 0.60ct in platinum 5.5mm 3,000 0.70ct in platinum 5.7mm 3,800 0.75ct in platinum 5.8mm 4,500 0.85ct in platinum 6.2mm 5,800 0.90ct in platinum 6.3mm 6,100 1.0ct in platinum 6.45mm 8,000 1.5ct in platinum 7.4mm 16,000 2.0ct in platinum 8.2mm 27,000 As you can see from the above chart, the price of a diamond increases disproportionately to its size. This is because the larger a stone gets, the more likely it is to contain more marks and inclusions. Large clean stones are much rarer, and command high prices as a result. 15

SHOPPING FOR YOUR RING Especially for those for whom this is the first time shopping for jewellery, what can you expect when you go in store? ACT WISELY Expect expertise from whoever you are buying from. Ask all the questions you want, make sure you handle the ring and see the stones. If you want technical information then a good supplier will be able to provide this too. If the sales consultant is making you feel pressured, or like you are taking up too much of their time, then you have either come to the wrong place, or are dealing with the wrong individual. The number one rule is to feel comfortable. If you feel confident and relaxed, you are going to make the very best decision. SHOULD I BARGAIN? It depends where you are, and how confident you feel. Some retailers will offer discounts, and some will not. You are not going to cause offence by asking, but equally you should not take offence if the answer is no. An additional tip is to be suspicious of huge discounts. If a retailer miraculously knocks 1,000 off the ring asking price, you were being overcharged by at least 1,000 in the first instance. FINANCE AND GUARANTEES The majority of the high street retailers will provide finance. As we ve previously mentioned, at Heirloom we really do not recommend that you borrow to buy this ring. But if you are determined, ask what plans are offered and compare these against what your bank or credit card may offer. The less you can pay in interest, the better! Your jeweller should provide a guarantee of workmanship, which warrants that the ring will maintain its shape, and is free from any manufacturing defects, as well as guaranteeing your diamonds are conflict free. A really good jeweller will also provide care advice. 16

AND FINALLY... It is sometimes feels difficult to ratify spending what might be the cost of a car (second hand or otherwise) on one piece of jewellery. It is worth remembering that unlike a car, choosing the right ring is buying an heirloom that s value will hold. And not just the big stones in the news. So actually you are getting more longevity for something which will be worn daily. Nobody drives the same car for 40 years..! Don t be fooled, if you find a cheap internet diamond, you are buying a cheap internet diamond. This could be exactly what you want which is fine, but while these stones deliver savings against some of the multiple retailers, they are not going to be the quality of the high end suppliers, which is how prices are kept low (there being less competition for these stones). If you are really worried about choosing the right ring, the option could be to go for a placeholder - a silver ring which you can propose with, before you go shopping together. Also a good idea if you are thinking of proposing at a music festival or similar. Enjoy yourself! The right sales consultant will look after you, educate you and put you in the driving seat of the process. The process of making jewellery is interesting, diamonds and precious stones are interesting. There is a lot to learn, and you may should be able to take away a whole wealth of wisdom to impart to your friends for their purchases! 17