LISTEN TO ME
Hey there! We just wanna take a wee second to tell you a bit about this workbook. It s for you if you are or have been in Care to help you understand a bit more about who you are and to plan for some of the things you want in your life! Why use this workbook? Do I really have to? Is it just like more homework? No and no to answer that! You don t have to use this workbook and we know how boring homework can be so we have tried to make it as fun as possible. The big thing about being in care is getting to know new people and them getting to know you too. We all know it can be pretty hard to share your stuff with someone new, that s why we came up with this idea! How to use this workbook: Easy, take some time by yourself or you can do it with a mate, family member or a carer. This is all about you, so you can do what you want with it and start wherever takes your fancy. You can even skip a few questions if you like! Oh and don t forget it s up to you if you do it and who you share it with! What happens when this workbook is completed? You can use the information you have here to make a plan for how you would like things to be. This is called a Person Centred Plan. That means a plan that is focussed on you and what you want and need. To make this easier we have included headings for this type of plan at the back of this workbook. Whatever works for you - go for it 2
Contents So here s what s in this workbook. There are three parts to it: The rst part looks at stuff that you might nd easy to share with everyone. The second part is a wee bit more private. The third part helps you put all the information together to start building a Person Centred Plan. It s up to you which parts you ll out - and which parts you share and with who. The most important thing is to have fun while doing it! Part 1: 1 = All about me 2 = People in my life 3 = Family 4 = Friends 5 = Relationships 6 = Education 7 = Accommodation 8 = How to understand and support me when I am 9 = Looking after myself and keeping safe Part 2: 1 = Just for me - Relationships 2 = Just for me - Sexuality 3 = Just for me - Sexual health 4 = Just for me - Drugs and Alcohol 5 = Just for me - My past Part 3: Putting it all together Enjoy! 3
1: All about me We will try and ease you in gently, why not have a go at a few of these questions! Name... Nickname... Age... Hair... Eye colour/do you wear glasses?... Shoe size... Height... Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, so when is the big day?... My favourite food is... yum yum! Food I hate... My absolute favourite lm is... My favourite book/mag is... The T.V show I love is... My fav music/band blasting from my stereo is... I love the colour... My best friends name is... My most important possessions are... What really bugs me is... What I like to do With friends... To chill out... To cheer myself up...... In my free time...... To have fun...... My hobbies... 4...
What happens in my day Gathering information about what you do everyday will help others to understand what is important to you and what support you need. Monday to Friday: How do you wake up? (Alarm clock, someone wakens you, throw youself into the shower!)...... What do you eat for Breakfast?... Do you go to school, college, tech, work, or youth schemes?...... What do you do in the evenings? (Lots of fun homework!!! Eat dinner, washing up, shower etc.)...... How do you chill in the evenings?... The Weekend: What time do you usually get up? How do you spend your time on a Saturday? How do you spend your time on a Sunday? What is the best thing about the weekend for you? 5
Good and bad days... Everyone has good and bad days, talking about them can help you to think about what things you want to have more of in your life and what things you want to avoid. Describe a good day for you. What are you doing? Where are you? Who are you with? How does this make you feel? Describe a bad day for you. What are you doing? Where are you? Who are you with? How does this make you feel? If you have had a bad day, what makes it better for you? 6
How I celebrate It s party time yippee! Well no, it isn t really, but it can be. How about answering the next few questions about how you celebrate?! On my birthday... A special occasion... An Anniversary... My special dates are (family birthdays, anniversaries etc.)... What I m good at! We are all good at something and have great talents for things like Painting, Cooking, Sport, Singing and loads more; I bet you have lots of great talents. How about you share some of them below! I am good at... What do other people like and admire about you? What do people thank you for?... 7
My hopes and dreams... Everyone has things that they want to achieve in their life, this could be about work, family, travel. What are the positive things that you would love to see happen in your life? My hopes for now are:... My dreams for the future are:... 8
2. People in my life We all have lots of people in our lives, most of whom we re glad are there and happy to spend time with. Fill in the Relationship Circle diagram with the people who are in your life. There are four different sections: One for family. One for those people you are living with including carers. One for friends. One for other important people e.g. from schools, clubs, neighbours, etc. Draw yourself in the middle of the circle and put those people who you feel are closer to you, closer to the middle of the circle. Think carefully, make sure you don t leave anyone out! 9
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3. Family Living in care and living away from your birth family can bring mixed feelings. For some young people in care this may mean that they live with a new family and for others this may mean living in a children s home. No matter where you live everyone has a family. Who is in your family?... How often do you see them and how do you stay in touch?... Who else do you think of as family?... Who do you live with now?... Who are you closest to in your family?... Who are you not so close with in your family?... Anyone you want to spend more time with?... Anyone you want to have contact with but don t?... What could be made better for you with your family?............ 11
4. Friends Friends. Where would we be without them? They are great to have and so much fun! So why don t you tell us all about yours! Do you have a best friend(s)?... My friend s names are... How did you meet your friend(s)?... What do you like doing with your friend(s)?... Where do you usually hang-out?... 12
5. Relationships Even if you don t have a boyfriend/girlfriend right now you can bet on it you ll have one in the future (trust us!). So here s a chance to tell us about your current boyfriend/girlfriend... or your future love! The person I fancy most is..... What do you like most about this person?... What qualities should your ideal boyfriend/girlfriend have?... What would your dream date be?... What are your hopes for your future?............ 13
6. Education Cue the moaning and groaning! We know education can be boring and tiring sometimes but it is still very important and it helps you get what job you have when you re older. How about giving these questions a try! What school or college do you go to?......... What are your favourite subjects?......... Do you need any help with school? Can you tell us about it?......... Are there any after school clubs you are involved in or fancy getting involved in?......... What do you want to be when you grow up?......... My dream job is......... 14
7. Accommodation Where would you like to live? (In 6 months? One year? Two years? Five years?)... Who would you like to live with? If you have someone in mind tell us a bit about them or describe the sort of person you would like to live with.... Describe what sort of supports you would like to have?... 8. How to understand and support me when I am Being in care with new people can be a bit of a rough ride. It s helpful if those people around you know how to help and work with you, so why don t you have a think or a chat with others who understand you best and write in the boxes how you are at these different times and what helps. You will know I am: When I do / say this: And you should support me by: Example: Sad Sad When I become very quiet and won t talk Gently check out if I want to talk; if I don t I will come round myself. Angry Nervous Scared Happy Stressed Confused Excited 15
9. Looking after myself Hey, this is something we all need to learn to do at some stage and it s easy enough once you get used to it! Being healthy is important no matter what age you are, and you re never too young to start looking after your health, so here goes Why do you think it s important to look after your health? What do you think about your own health; good, bad, reasonably ok? If you are taking any medication, tell us what this is and why you have to take it: Treatment / medication: How often I need to take this: What this is for: Example: Inhaler Everyday To help me breathe properly What could you or others do to improve your health? (Think about exercise and the things you eat and drink) 16
Who are the people in your life who help make sure you re healthy? Doctor:... Tel no:... Dentist:... Tel no:... Optician:... Tel no:... Other:... Tel no:... When did you last visit any of these people about your health? Who can you trust to talk to if you are worried about your health? 17
JUST Just FOR For ME Me This next section is titled just for me. It s more of a private section for you to jot down some of your more personal stuff. If you don t fancy it there s no need to ll it out, we have said it before and will say it again this ain t homework, it s up to you what you want to do with this. Again it s up to you who you share this with, if you want you can just keep this wee bit to yourself! 1. Relationships I bet you re all thinking I ve already done the bit on relationships! This bit is slightly different though. This time we want you to do a wee bit about all the relationships that you identi ed earlier. Have a think about all the people you identi ed in your relationship circle and answer the following... Which relationship/s do you think is the best? Which relationship/s do you think is not so hot? What relationship/s would you like to improve and why? If you could change anything about any of your relationships what would it be? 18
2. Sexuality Boy this can be a confusing thing for young people, there are so many paths you can go down or try out, it s hard to know what s right for you. It s important to know there are no right or wrong answers, whatever works for you. This section may help you understand a tiny bit about your own sexuality, why not have a go at the questions and see what you think! What do you think sexuality means? This is really hard to word because it is so individual. Some people have worries and fears, others are happy and excited about it. So this space is for you to put down what you feel and think. Have you any questions about it you would like to ask someone?... Who can you trust to chat to about it?............... 19
3. Sexual health This next wee bit is for you to think about your sexual health, this can be a bit embarrassing for people to talk about, so it might be a tad bit easier for you to write a bit about it and remember you can keep this for your eyes only! What do you think sexual health means? What do you think about your sexual health? How do you think you can keep your sexual health safe? Do you have any worries about your sexual health? If you needed to, is there someone you could chat to about it? 20
4. Drugs and Alcohol Now the chances are you re going to come across these at some stage in your life, if you haven t already. Here s a chance to have a think about them and jot down any thoughts you have What do you think about drugs? What do you think about alcohol? Do you have any worries around drugs or alcohol? What works best for you to keep yourself safe? 21
5. Your past It can be difficult going into care and dealing with the issues that have happened in the past. Sometimes it s hard to talk about these issues but talking about them does help. To help you share some of the information about your past, we thought it might be easier if you had a few questions to get you started How do you feel about your past? What are you proud of about your past? Have you any worries about your past? If you could change or improve something from your past what would it be?......... Is there anyone you feel you can chat with about your past?............ 22
Thinking about all these things can be dif cult and can bring mixed emotions but there are many organisations out there who can help you. Here are just a few of them: Being in Care: VOYPIC VOYPIC is an independent organisation providing a voice for children and young people in care and after care throughout Northe rn Ireland. VOYPIC run a number of different programmes for young people, including group-work programmes and mentoring. For more information on these call 02890 244 888. VOYPIC also run an Advocacy Service. Advocacy is all about having your voice heard. This could be someone representing your rights, helping you make choices, going to a meeting with you, helping you speak up or speaking up on your behalf. We ve helped young people with lots of different issues such as placement, contact, leaving care, LAC Reviews, education, etc. If you re not happy with anything to do with being in care or feel you re not being listened to, come talk to us. Remember, the Advocacy Service helps you to remain in control and you call the shots! Between 9.30am and 5.30pm Monday to Thrusday and 9.30am and 4.30pm on Friday there will always be an Advocate on duty who you can talk to. To speak to an Advocate: 1. Pick up the phone and dial 08450 742 942 2. Ask to speak to a friendly Advocate or the A-team 3. Explain to them what things you need help to get help with 4. They will be able to help you over the phone or let you know when someone can come and see you Your Rights: The Children s Law Centre 0808 808 5678 www.childrenslawcentre.org NICCY 02890 311 616 www.niccy.org Counselling: Childline 0800 1111 www.childline.org.uk Lifeline 0808 808 8000 www.contactni.com Drugs & Alcohol: National Drugs Helpline 0800 776 600 www.talktofrank.com Alcoholics Anonymous 02890 434 848 23
So that s it you re nished! Well done! We hope it wasn t too hard or boring for you and that it will be of some help to you. So what now? putting Putting this This all All together Together The information from this workbook can be used to complete a Person Centred Plan or Person Centred Description about you. Look at what you have written and sort it under the following headings: What others like and admire about me: Who and what is important to me: 24
What others need to know or do to support me: Characteristics of those who best support me: 25
Things to work out: Communication Chart When this is happening I do or say this.. This probably means.. And you should.. Example: Meal times I m not hungry, I don t like what you Offer me something I ll eat later have made. else to eat. 26
Action plan Who To do what By when.. Example: Julie Speak to form teacher Within 3 days You can use your imagination to make your plan look how you would want it to. Photographs, pictures, signs and symbols will really help bring it to life. Have fun and be as creative as you like. You can use this information or the nished plan to help other people understand more about you and what you need. Using this can make sure that others really Listen to You! 27
Hey a big shout out and thank you to the three young people from Aberfoyle Leaving and Aftercare Services and VOYPIC s Sessional Project Workers who helped create this booklet. You gave up lots of your time and were a great help, cheers! This version of Listen to Me has been produced by Voice Of Young People In Care (VOYPIC) and Helen Sanderson Associates. You can get more of these by downloading them from: www.voypic.org www.helensandersonassociates.co.uk www.learningcommunity.us The materials on Person Centred Thinking and Essential Lifestyle Planning were developed by the Learning Community for Person Centred Practices and are used with permission.