Level 1 exemplars and comments Paper 1 Sample 1: Section C, Question 6 1
Sample 1: Section C, Question 6 Comments (i) Unfortunately, this answer exposes a very basic understanding of what the poem is about. The candidate simply paraphrases without showing intended meaning. (ii) The speaker s attitude is firstly described in nonsensical terms as sophisticated before eventually noting a negative tone. The general response simply repeats obvious quotes and the given definition of purgatory. The reference to happy in line 21 is misinterpreted so the assumption made is totally incorrect. (iii) This is a weak answer to a technical question. The form is described in superficial terms number of lines, number of stanzas and the reason given for this is nonsensical (e.g. creates a stable format to convey how people spend time in an airport ). 2
Section B, Question 3 3
Section B, Question 3 4
Section B, Question 3 5
Section B, Question 3 6
Section B, Question 3 7
Section B, Question 3 Comments (i) This response is extremely brief and clearly unfinished. Its focus from the outset is structure, not content. (ii) The candidate exposes a misunderstanding of the term diction so the comments in this respect throughout the answer tend to be nonsensical. The answer does go on to point out sibilant sounds and attempts to link these sounds to the waves. However, a lack of technical awareness renders the supporting comments quite weak. Mention made of the waves on the shore is incorrect as the sound effects mimic the noise of the waves smashing against the Lighthouse steps. (iii) The assertion made at the outset is not supported by the following observations. A total misinterpretation of the birds movements (e.g. they crash and are compared to pickaxes because they are blinded by the gas ). (iv) The claim about a hopeful tone is not in any way supported. Makes too many incorrect assertions (e.g. the poet s disgust in Poem B). 8
Sample 3: Section C, Question 5 Comments (i) This answer exposes a confused understanding which seems to entirely miss the presence of a phone ringing in an empty kiosk. (ii) Credit is given to the candidate noting the repetition of dark and the negative diction used, but no clear functional explanation is offered as to why this might be. (iii) Not attempted. 9
Paper 2 Sample 1: Part I Section D, Question 8 10
Sample 1: Part I Section D, Question 8 11
Sample 1: Part I Section D, Question 8 12
Sample 1: Part I Section D, Question 8 Comments The candidate demonstrates a basic knowledge of some of the story events and different narrative points of view. However, her response is rather brief, and ideas are not adequately developed into an argument. There are also many vague generalizations and assertions (e.g. reasons are not given as to why Dee s behaviour disgusts her mother and sister in Everyday Use and why through her diary, we could see that the narrator of The Yellow Wallpaper never believes she is successful as a woman). Overall, the essay suffers from a lack of details or examples to substantiate its claims. 13
Part II, Question 9 14
Part II, Question 9 15
Part II, Question 9 16
Part II, Question 9 17
Part II, Question 9 18
Part II, Question 9 19
Part II, Question 9 20
Part II, Question 9 Comments Despite its length, this response is repetitive and largely irrelevant. In exploring the different forms of rebellion in the stories, the candidate presents an argument that is mostly doubtful and contrived. While there are a few valid observations about Dee s rebellious behaviour in Everyday Use (e.g. changing her name and claiming the quilts so that she could display them as artifacts), few details are offered to illustrate how Dee s education serves as an agent of rebellion against the heart of mum to make the family better. Likewise, evidence is lacking to support the candidate s argument that Rosie s promise of not marrying at the end of Seventeen Syllables is in fact a form of rebellion against her mother. The discussion on The Lottery simply goes off at a tangent, as its focus is not on rebellion but how Tessie is betrayed by the other characters. The answer also fails to fully meet task requirements as it covers only the genre of short stories. 21
Paper 3 Sample 1: Extended Essay: A Critical Analysis on Paulo Coelho s use of omens and nature in The Alchemist and their meaning in our contemporary world 22
Sample 1: Extended Essay: A Critical Analysis on Paulo Coelho s use of omens and nature in The Alchemist and their meaning in our contemporary world 23
Sample 1: Extended Essay: A Critical Analysis on Paulo Coelho s use of omens and nature in The Alchemist and their meaning in our contemporary world 24
Sample 1: Extended Essay: A Critical Analysis on Paulo Coelho s use of omens and nature in The Alchemist and their meaning in our contemporary world Comments This essay fails to fulfil the requirements of the task in two respects: first, it is about The Alchemist, which is a translated text; secondly, the line of argument is hard to follow and elaboration of the argument is obscure and vague. It attempts to explain the role of omens and nature of the protagonist s search for his dream but unfortunately, the meaning of the dream has never been explicitly explained, making it hard for the readers to relate that to the discussions of omens and demons. The discussion of the contemporary world is also limited and trivial in meaning. 25
Extended Essay: Different aspects of love in the works of Emily and Charlotte Bronte (Chosen Material: Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte & Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte) 26
Extended Essay: Different aspects of love in the works of Emily and Charlotte Bronte (Chosen Material: Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte & Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte) 27
Extended Essay: Different aspects of love in the works of Emily and Charlotte Bronte (Chosen Material: Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte & Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte) 28
Extended Essay: Different aspects of love in the works of Emily and Charlotte Bronte (Chosen Material: Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte & Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte) 29
Extended Essay: Different aspects of love in the works of Emily and Charlotte Bronte (Chosen Material: Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte & Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte) 30
Extended Essay: Different aspects of love in the works of Emily and Charlotte Bronte (Chosen Material: Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte & Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte) 31
Extended Essay: Different aspects of love in the works of Emily and Charlotte Bronte (Chosen Material: Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte & Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte) Comments This essay fails to deliver what it promises in the title when it attempts to discuss seven aspects of love based on two very well-known, rich novels which portray very complex relationships. Critical discussion of the novels is completely missing, resulting in a simple listing of the different types of relationships in the novels. It is also filled with generalised and sweeping statements about love, e.g. bond between them so intense that physical separation is unbearable. The essay is very loosely organised with contents of the two novels randomly put together. There is one whole section on the biography of the two Bronte sisters which has no relation to the contents of the essay. The candidate has not checked her work thoroughly as some pages are missing. 32