The 10 Biggest Mistakes Start-up Counsellors Make The Blackford Centre for Counselling
The Blackford Centre for Counselling www.inst.org/counselling counselling-courses courses 10 Biggest Mistakes Page 2
Contents 1. Not Opening Up... 4 2. Being Impatient... 4 3. Not Structuring and Prioritising... 4 4. Failing to Consider Language and Tone... 5 5. Not Knowing How to Guide the Client... 5 6. Focussing on the Superficial Issues... 5 7. Not Maintaining a Professional Relationship... 5 8. Patronising the Client... 6 9. Not Listening Enough... 6 10. Not Leading By Example... 6 10 Biggest Mistakes Page 3
1. Not Opening Up The stereotypical image of a counsellor is someone with a stoic and impenetrable constitution. If you want to be an effective counsellor and truly connect with the client then you have to ignore this stereotype and use your own personality to connect with them. As a start-up this is can be done by communicating your own instincts and thoughts. It is not a prerequisite for success but it can really help to break down the barriers, especially in the first few sessions. If you show them you are not afraid to connect, they won t be. 2. Being Impatient Clients in therapy are in a process of healing. A big barrier to the client s healing is to take a rushed approach. Even if you are at the point where you understand the underlying problems and are ready to implement solutions, you should never forget how important it is for the client to have their say, and not to feel rushed while they say it. Often, the best thing to do is to remain quiet and wait. There are no set rules on how to approach each client, but interruptions are unanimously bad. 3. Not Structuring and Prioritising In any given session a client may have a host of new concerns, doubts and fears. This demonstrates the complexity in counselling. But regardless, the difference between poor counselling and effective counselling is being able to take everything on board, and at the same time not get stuck with the less important details. You should remind the client of the bigger picture, to ensure they do not lose sight of what is important. Be aware that new issues may become highly significant; you must be able to adapt. 10 Biggest Mistakes Page 4
4. Failing to Consider Language and Tone Tone of voice is really important. Both education and practice are needed to find your most effective tone of voice. Simply reading up on language and tone is not enough, and neither is practising within the sessions on its own. There is not one perfect tone of voice, though most counsellors speak slowly and clearly to instil confidence and calm within the client or clients. The most important thing is the ability to adapt the voice to the situation and the context. 5. Not Knowing How to Guide the Client You should see yourself as the bank of the river and not the river itself. You should always be willing to channel things to better places, provide guidance and support, and challenge the conventional flow. What you should not do however is try and turn the river completely around in one go, or dictate a better course of action with force. Clients often feel like they are stuck on one course, but it is your job to show them otherwise. Effective guidance takes lots of practise, so don t worry if you find it difficult at first. 6. Focussing on the Superficial Issues The source of difficult problems are often deeply rooted, shrouded underneath a complex web of associated issues, which may or may not be easy to detect or identify. You need to drill down to the heart of the problem. And to this end you should avoid spending too much time on superficial issues or letting problems on the surface lead you in the wrong direction. 7. Not Maintaining a Professional Relationship It is in the best interests of the client that you act as professionally as you can at all times. It is not the client s job to keep a professional distance, but yours. 10 Biggest Mistakes Page 5
8. Patronising the Client Remember that you are a person just like the client. You are not superior to them nor do you act as a judge. You need to be on the same level. And if you do this then you won t slip into the error of being patronising. Some experienced counsellors avoid statements like I understand how you are feeling. An easy alternative is to ask further questions such as Why did you find it difficult? 9. Not Listening Enough Good listening skills are surprisingly hard to develop, but they are crucial if you want to truly help a client, especially in the opening stages. While many maintain that you can always learn how to be a better listener, you should always ask yourself whether you are naturally good at listening to others. A common issue is to internally process all the small things that the client says as they say it, trying to ensure that absolutely nothing is missed. The trouble is that this can hamper the listening process if you are not experienced. 10. Not Leading By Example We are all human, and even counsellors need counsellors. But as a practising counsellor you should place as much importance on your own health and wellbeing as those of the clients you service. This is obviously good for you, but it also gives you confidence in the service you provide, and naturally helps to keep you at the top of your game. If you have problems, you will be less than totally focused on your client, and this is bad for your reputation and prevents the client from improving and progressing as they should. Are you thinking of becoming a counsellor? The best way to achieve that is with The Blackford Centre s Diploma course: www.inst.org/counsel 10 Biggest Mistakes Page 6