KINDNESS. Dra matic Pub lishing Woodstock, Il li nois Eng land Aus tra lia New Zea land. By DEN NIS FOON

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KINDNESS By DEN NIS FOON Dra matic Pub lishing Woodstock, Il li nois Eng land Aus tra lia New Zea land

*** NO TICE *** The am a teur and stock act ing rights to this work are con trolled ex clu - sively by THE DRA MATIC PUB LISHING COM PANY with out whose per mis sion in writ ing no per for mance of it may be given. Roy alty must be paid ev ery time a play is per formed whether or not it is pre sented for profit and whether or not ad mis sion is charged. A play is per formed any time it is acted be fore an au di ence. Cur rent roy alty rates, ap pli ca tions and re stric tions may be found at our website: www.dramaticpublishing.com, or we may be con tacted by mail at: DRA MATIC PUB LISHING COM - PANY, 311 Wash ing ton St., Woodstock IL 60098. COPY RIGHT LAW GIVES THE AU THOR OR THE AU THOR S AGENT THE EX CLU SIVE RIGHT TO MAKE COPIES. This law pro - vides au thors with a fair re turn for their cre ative ef forts. Au thors earn their liv ing from the roy al ties they re ceive from book sales and from the per for mance of their work. Con sci en tious ob ser vance of copy right law is not only eth i cal, it en cour ages au thors to con tinue their cre ative work. This work is fully pro tected by copy right. No al ter ations, de le tions or sub sti tu tions may be made in the work with out the prior writ ten con sent of the pub lisher. No part of this work may be re pro duced or trans mit ted in any form or by any means, elec tronic or me chan i cal, in clud ing pho to - copy, re cord ing, vid eo tape, film, or any in for ma tion stor age and re trieval sys tem, with out per mis sion in writ ing from the pub lisher. It may not be per formed ei ther by pro fes sion als or am a teurs with out pay ment of roy - alty. All rights, in clud ing, but not lim ited to, the pro fes sional, mo tion pic - ture, ra dio, tele vi sion, vid eo tape, for eign lan guage, tab loid, rec i ta tion, lec - tur ing, pub li ca tion and read ing, are re served. For per for mance of any songs, mu sic and re cord ings men tioned in this play which are in copy right, the per mis sion of the copy right own ers must be ob tained or other songs and re cord ings in the pub lic do main sub sti tuted. MMVIII by DEN NIS FOON Printed in the United States of Amer ica All Rights Re served (KINDNESS) For in qui ries con cern ing all other rights, con tact: Kensington Lit er ary Rep re sen ta tion, 34 St. An drew St., To ronto, ON, Can ada M5T 1K6 Phone: (416) 979-0187 ISBN: 978-1-58342-606-7

For the re mark able Aliayta Foon-Dancoes, who was a re source, sound ing board and in spi ra tion.

IM POR TANT BILLING AND CREDIT RE QUIRE MENTS All pro duc ers of the play must give credit to the au thor of the play in all pro grams dis trib uted in con nec tion with per for mances of the play and in all in stances in which the ti tle of the play ap pears for pur poses of ad ver - tis ing, pub li ciz ing or oth er wise ex ploit ing the play and/or a pro duc tion. The name of the au thor must also ap pear on a sep a rate line, on which no other name ap pears, im me di ately fol low ing the ti tle, and must ap pear in size of type not less than fifty per cent (50%) the size of the ti tle type. Bio graph i cal in for ma tion on the au thor, if in cluded in the playbook, may be used in all pro grams. In all pro grams this no tice must ap pear: Pro duced by spe cial ar range ment with THE DRA MATIC PUB LISHING COM PANY of Woodstock, Il li nois * * * * Kind ness was com mis sioned by Man i toba Thea tre for Young Peo ple (MTYP), Leslee Silverman, ar tis tic di rec tor. Kind ness was first pro duced by MTYP at the CanWest Per forming Arts Cen tre, Win ni peg, Man i toba, No vem ber 15, 2007, Rich ard Greenblatt, di rec tor, with the fol low ing cast: Keegan...Tom Keenan Damon...Dan iel Briere Tessa...Andrea Scott Ev ery one else...stefanie Wiens Stage Man ager...kirsti Bruce CRE ATIVE TEAM Com poser...ca thy Nosaty Set and Cos tume De signer...leanne Foley Lighting De signer...bill Wil liams Pup pet Art ist...shawn Kettner Video Con sul tant...deco dawson 4

PLAY WRIGHT S NOTES: I con fess: I was, for much of my life, an avowed pet hater. It all started when I was eight. I was hav ing trou ble breath ing and my mom took me to the al lergy doc tor. When we came home with the di ag no sis, it was an nounced that our dog, Sandy, and our bud gie, Bea ver, had to go. My older broth ers begged my par ents to keep the pets and get rid of me, but you know how stub born and fool ish par ents can be. The pets were given away, and my broth ers be gan a life long cam paign of tor ture against me. It was n t un til I went to Win ni peg to re search this play and started talk ing to the stu dents from a va ri ety of schools that I started to change my mind. These kids loved their an i mals and I be - gan to un der stand how im por tant pets can be to peo ple s emo tional lives and how much I had missed. We dis cussed a lot of things their fam i lies and friends, their loves, their hates, their fears, the empty spaces in their hearts. What struck me from these con ver sa tions was that no mat ter what their difficulties and some were huge many of these kids had enor mous com pas sion for one an - other and the world around them. Some showed it by sup - port ing a friend in need, oth ers had be gun fund-rais ing ef - forts for wor thy causes. These kids, barely alive a dozen years, got me think ing about those empty spaces and how all of us need to find ways to fill them. My deep est thanks to my bril liant friend, col league and in spi ra tion, Leslee Silverman, ar tis tic di rec tor of Man i toba Thea tre for Young Peo ple, for cre at ing an en vi ron ment 5

where plays like this can be born. My grat i tude to ev ery one at the the ater for mak ing it my home away from home. And to the in cred i ble Rich ard Greenblatt, mae stro and ma - gi cian, di rec tor of the pre mier pro duc tion, who con tin ues to daz zle me. And my spe cial thanks to the won der ful kids and staff at Kent Road, Rockwood, Gray Acad emy, Queenston and Greenway schools. 6

KIND NESS CHAR AC TERS KEEGAN.... a boy, about 11 years old TESSA....a girl, about 11 years old DAMON...a boy, about 11 years old MS. FELD SPAR... their mu sic teacher KEEGAN S GRANDPA DAMON S MOM....work ing sin gle mother TESSA S DAD...a white-col lar worker ZOEY...a girl, about 11, boy crazy, best friends with CHLOEY... a girl, about 11, also boy crazy REX...12, not a very nice per son TV NEWS AN CHOR (VOICE) RONNY...Damon s old est brother JOHNNY....Damon s next old est brother DONNY...Damon s youn gest older brother VET ER I NAR IAN PRIN CI PAL SPCA WORKER Kind ness can be played with a min i mum of 4 hy per ac tive ac tors or a max i mum of 17 merely ex cited ones. In the pre mier pro duc tion, four ac tors played all the roles. The ac tor who played Damon also played Keegan s Grandpa. Tessa also played Damon s Mom, Keegan also played Tessa s Dad. The fourth ac tor played ev ery one else. 7

PRO DUC TION NOTE: In the orig i nal pro duc tion, live video pro jec tions cre ated the back drops and al lowed for gi ant shadow ef fects for ex am ple, Rex was rep re sented by a huge shadow fist. Some pup pet and mask work was also used by the ev ery body else ac tor to cre ate Damon s three broth ers, Chloey and Zoey and other roles. I urge all di rec tors to use their imag i na tions and re sources to take my stage di rec tions as an in spi ra tion, not an im per a tive. LAN GUAGE NOTE: There are many top i cal ref er ences in the play. Please feel free to up date them. If you have any con cerns or ques tions, I can be reached through the pub lisher or: www.dennisfoon.com 8

KIND NESS (Three kids are play ing a song very badly. TESSA is on the trom bone, KEEGAN on flute, and DAMON on clar i - net. As one wrong note fol lows an other, TESSA, who is the only one hold ing her own, erupts.) TESSA. Oh, we reek! We stink! (A shadow ap pears of the teacher, MS. FELD SPAR.) MS. FELD SPAR. Why did you stop play ing, Tessa? TESSA. This is n t mu sic, it s toxic waste. We ll make peo - ple s brains ex plode. DAMON. Yeah, die! (He blows an ex cru ci at ing out-of-tune high note on his clar i net.) TESSA. You re pa thetic, Damon. You never prac tice, you don t care. KEEGAN. I care. TESSA. Yeah? When was the last time you prac ticed, Keegan? KEEGAN. Um TESSA. We re gonna look like mo rons at the con cert, Ms. Feld spar, un less they start prac tic ing! DAMON. All I do is prac tice! KEEGAN. I prac tice pet tricks. 9

10 KINDNESS TESSA. Great, our trio s got a con cert in two weeks and you re prac tic ing pet tricks! DAMON. Sit! Heel! Beg! Roll over! (KEEGAN looks at him, be wil dered.) She s right, you need more prac tice. MS. FELD SPAR. I picked you three be cause your in stru - ments will sound lovely to gether, won t they, chil dren? ALL. Yes, Ms. Feld spar. MS. FELD SPAR. So, what are we go ing to do? ALL. Prac tice, Ms. Feld spar. (The chil dren watch MS. FELD SPAR leave, then start pack ing up their in stru - ments.) DAMON. Nice work, snitch witch. TESSA. What did you call me? DAMON. Fat mouth. Snot nose. TESSA (grabs his shirt). Don t you dare. DAMON (grins). Snotty snob. (TESSA cocks her fist, strug gling not to smash him. DAMON, duck ing, wheels away from her, and steps out of hit ting range.) Be sides, I do prac tice. Ev ery day for at least two min utes. See, I got im por tant things to do. TESSA. Like what? DAMON. Like feed my fish. They eat a lot. And my dad just got a 64-inch TV. And an X Box, and PS3, and a Wii, and a Game Cube. And tons of games: Heav enly Sword, Grand Theft Auto, Halo 1, 2, 3, Need for Speed, Gui tar Hero TESSA. Well, no won der KEEGAN. I had a video game once. It broke. DAMON. Got a dirt bike? I do. A Honda XR100R. And a pocket bike, a Mini-Rocket Blue and a Ski-Doo Mach Z and a Superjet Wave Run ner. What do you got? KEEGAN. A bi cy cle.

DAMON. Moun tain? Racing? BMX? KEEGAN. Just a bike. DAMON. Ouch, lame! My dad s got a 71 Mus tang 429 Co bra Jet. What s your dad got? KEEGAN. Your dad flies an air plane? DAMON. It s not an air plane, mo ronic, it s a car! A Mus - tang! (Checks to see if KEEGAN gets it.) Mus tang? (KEEGAN does n t have clue.) Ow, loser! (He turns to TESSA.). So you wanna go out? TESSA. What? DAMON. On a date. You and me. Me and you. TESSA. A date? Why would I want to go on a date? DAMON. Why not, snobby? You like me, I like you, you like me. TESSA. My name s Tessa, not snobby, and I don t like you. DAMON. Sure you like me. All the girls like me. They think I m cute. I m a chick mag net. TESSA. You like chicks? Go to KFC. DAMON. Come on, I ll take you to a movie. My treat. I m rich, my dad gave me twenty bucks. See? (He waves a 20-dol lar bill in front of her.) C mon, you don t get of - fers like this ev ery day. TESSA. I m not even twelve yet. Talk to me in ten years. DAMON. When you re twenty? You ll be all wrin kled like a prune. TESSA. I ll wrin kle you, Damon. Get lost! (DAMON, grin ning, sees CHLOEY and ZOEY en ter. He runs to them.) DAMON. Hey Chloey, hey Zoey! KIND NESS 11

12 KINDNESS (CHLOEY and ZOEY are Barbie dolls or some other the at ri cal equiv a lent.) CHLOEY. Saw you talk ing to Miss Stuck-up. DAMON (lov ing this). Oh you did, didja? CHLOEY. Do you like Tessa? Think she s cute? DAMON. Maybe, maybe not. CHLOEY. You like her, ad mit it! DAMON (grinning). That s for me to know and you to find out. ZOEY. He s smil ing, he s in love! CHLOEY. I can smell it on him! L-O-V-E!! ZOEY. I won der if she likes him. DAMON. Oh, she likes me all right. Did you see how mean she was to me? CHLOEY. Yeah, she treats him ter ri ble! ZOEY. She must love him! DAMON. I asked her out. (CHLOEY and ZOEY gig gle cra zily.) ZOEY. On a date? With you? CHLOEY. But she s such a snob! ZOEY. She does n t even shop at Lululemon! CHLOEY. Where re you tak ing her? DAMON. Wher ever she wants. A movie. (CHLOEY and ZOEY scream.) ZOEY. Damon, you are the cool est. CHLOEY. The amazingest. ZOEY & CHLOEY. The awesomest.

DAMON. I know. (He struts away. ZOEY and CHLOEY van ish.) (KEEGAN ap proaches TESSA.) KIND NESS 13 KEEGAN. You would n t hap pen to have a dog by any chance, would you? TESSA. A dog? Yeah, I have a dog. His name s Joey. KEEGAN. If you would n t mind me ask ing, what breed of dog is Joey? TESSA. A golden re triever. KEEGAN. Ex cel lent. TESSA. You like goldens? KEEGAN. Yes. Very much. Per fect for my ex per i ment. TESSA. Your ex per i ment? KEEGAN. My pro ject for the science fair. I m try ing to de ter mine what grows faster, an i mal hair or hu man hair. I shaved Irwin and my self this morn ing and I ll be tak - ing a mea sure ment ev ery day. TESSA. You shaved your self? KEEGAN. Yes. (He shows her.) See? TESSA. Gross. KEEGAN. It was easy, re ally, Irwin did n t mind at all. TESSA. Irwin s your dog? KEEGAN. My guinea pig. We re very close. When ever he sees me, he says: bweep-uueep. TESSA. How nice. KEEGAN. The prob lem I m fac ing is that some an i mals hair might grow faster than oth ers. So for my pro ject to have sci en tific va lid ity, I have to mea sure the hair growth in other spe cies as well. Your golden retriever, for ex am ple, is sig nif i cantly dif fer ent than a guinea pig.

14 KINDNESS So I would like your dog, Joey, to par tic i pate in my ex - per i ment. TESSA. You want to shave my dog? Are you crazy? KEEGAN. Only a small patch. It does n t hurt. It would be of great ben e fit to sci ence. I use a dis pos able ra zor, it s com pletely hy gienic. TESSA. I don t care. You re not touch ing my dog! KEEGAN. Irwin did n t mind, re ally. Now we have match - ing bald spots. I can shave you too, if that would make you hap pier. TESSA. Get lost, you creep. (TESSA storms away. KEEGAN fol lows af ter her.) KEEGAN. I don t think you un der stand (KEEGAN stops cold. Looks up. REX, the large bully, looms over him. REX is a huge SHADOW PUPPET. TESSA, still an gry, coldly watches.) REX. Hey, ugly. KEEGAN. My name is Keegan. REX. I say your name is ugly. (He flicks his finger, knock - ing the wind out of KEEGAN.) What s your name? KEEGAN. Keegan. (REX flicks his fin ger again. KEE - GAN falls down. Slowly gets up.) Ex cuse me, Rex, but why me? REX. Be cause you re cross-eyed. KEEGAN. I m not cross-eyed. REX. I can fix that. (He flicks his fin ger. KEEGAN s head whips back.) Now, let s start again. What s your name? KEEGAN. Kee (REX flicks his fin ger. KEEGAN goes down. Strug gles to get up. REX raises his hand again. KEEGAN hes i tates. Qui etly:) Ugly.

KIND NESS 15 REX. What? KEEGAN. Ugly. REX. Good. Now aren t you glad you learned your name? (REX fades away. KEEGAN looks at TESSA, who just leaves. KEEGAN, limp ing, sore, slowly goes. TESSA goes home. She pets a big golden lump of fur: her dog, JOEY.) TESSA. And he said he wanted to shave some of your hair off. I d never let him do that to you, Joey. You ll al ways be safe with me. No body s ever gonna hurt you. You ready for a song? Okay. (She picks up her trom bone, but just as she starts to play, TESSA S DAD, a shadow, rises.) TESSA S DAD. Tessa, who are you talk ing to down there? TESSA. Joey. TESSA S DAD. Joey s stone deaf. TESSA. He un der stands me. TESSA S DAD (sighs). Well, you ve prac ticed enough to - day, come up stairs. TESSA. I have a lot more to do. TESSA S DAD. You can t stay down there by your self all the time. TESSA. I m not by my self. I m here with Joey. He feels the vi bra tion. He likes it. TESSA S DAD. He only stays there be cause he can hardly move any more, Tessa. TESSA. That s not why.

16 KINDNESS TESSA S DAD. He has n t been eat ing. (Heavily.) It s go ing to end soon, Tessa. TESSA. I have a new song I m learn ing for him. TESSA S DAD. Tessa, you re ally have to face TESSA. Just cause you ve given up on Joey, does n t mean I have to. (TESSA plays on her trom bone. TESSA S DAD goes. She stops play ing. To JOEY.) He s wrong, you know. I read about the heal ing power of mu sic. I wish I knew about this a long time ago, ev ery thing would be dif fer ent. Way dif fer ent. I m gonna fix you, Joey. Cause it works, they say it re ally works. Okay Ready? (With to tal con cen tra tion, she plays a few sweet bars.) How s that? Okay, try to stand up, Joey. (JOEY does n t move.) You can do it, come on. Come on. Okay, okay, I know what. I ll play your fa vor ite, this will make you feel better for sure. Ready? Okay. (She plays the be - gin ning of My Grand fa ther s Clock. JOEY does n t move.) Come on, Joey, you can do it. You can t just lie there. (She plays a bit more. Noth ing.) You have to move around, you have to, or peo ple are go ing to think you can t any more, and then they might, they might so come on, Joey, move! Please. Move. Please. (He moves a lit tle. Hugging him:) Atta boy. (KEEGAN co mes home, hear ing the voice of a tele vi sion NEWS AN CHOR.) TV NEWS AN CHOR (over). The first dyke has burst and the city has been or dered to evac u ate. There s no end in sight for the rain, the river is over flow ing and if more dykes fail it will be a ca tas tro phe. High ways are grid - locked with thou sands of peo ple try ing to es cape and the

KIND NESS 17 mayor is call ing for calm and pray ing for the rain to stop. Mean while, in lo cal news KEEGAN. Irwin! Irwin! C mere, time for your les son! Hey, Grandpa, have you seen Irwin? (The shadow of KEEGAN S GRANDPA ap pears.) KEEGAN S GRANDPA. Grandma took him to the vet, Keegan. KEEGAN. Oh no. Why? Is he sick? KEEGAN S GRANDPA. Looks like he s got a skin dis - ease. KEEGAN. Is it bad? KEEGAN S GRANDPA. Some kind of mange, I fig ure. Poor fella s los ing his hair. Found a bald patch on him. KEEGAN. Oh. KEEGAN S GRANDPA. I m sur prised you did n t no tice it. KEEGAN. Me too. KEEGAN S GRANDPA. Hey, what hap pened to your head? KEEGAN. Noth ing. (He squirms while GRANDPA in ves ti - gates.) KEEGAN S GRANDPA. Hold still, steady Holy mack - erel. You got a bald spot too. KEEGAN. Oh. KEEGAN S GRANDPA. Good grief, boy. We better get you to the doc tor. That guinea pig gave you the mange! KEEGAN. No, he did n t, Grandpa I gave it to him. KEEGAN S GRANDPA. You gave Irwin the mange? KEEGAN. Yes, I mean, no, not ex actly. The thing is I I shaved him for my sci ence pro ject.

18 KINDNESS KEEGAN S GRANDPA. You did? (He laughs up roar i - ously; he can hardly stop for a breath.) Oh, that s a good one, that s a great one. I wish your daddy was alive to hear that, Keeg, he d laugh his head right off. KEEGAN. Is Grandma gonna be mad? KEEGAN S GRANDPA. Mad? She ll be laugh ing too hard. (KEEGAN starts to limp away.) What s wrong with your hip, Keegan? An other sci ence ex per i ment? KEEGAN. I fell. KEEGAN S GRANDPA (gives him an in quir ing look). Really now? So how ex actly did that hap pen? KEEGAN. I fell af ter I was hit. KEEGAN S GRANDPA. Hit by what? A rocket? KEEGAN. Yes. In the form of a very large bully. KEEGAN S GRANDPA. Bug! Only one thing to do about bul lies. Stand up to em. He hits ya, ya hit him back twice as hard. KEEGAN. He s gi gan tic. His mus cles are as big as my head. KEEGAN S GRANDPA. Then get your mus cles big too. Start lift ing my weights. Get some bulk on ya and clob - ber the clod. Get it? KEEGAN. Got it. KEEGAN S GRANDPA. Good. Pump that iron, kid. (KEEGAN lamely be gins lift ing some bar bells.) That s it, you re get ting the hang of it. TV NEWS AN CHOR (over). Breaking news on the south - ern floods! KEEGAN S GRANDPA. Hang on, let s see this. (He turns up the vol ume.)