Manuscript Evaluation Checklist Paragraph Technique Has the author avoided overuse of em dashes and ellipses? Has author matched dialogue to characters? Has the author made use of interior monologue and direct thoughts? Does the author intrude in the narrative? Has author avoided purple prose (flowery or elaborate prose) and stilted writing? Has author avoided using weasel words whenever possible without sounding ridiculous? Has the author avoided starting consecutive sentences with the same word? Is there too much step-by-step action (stage direction)? Does the author handle metaphors, mixed metaphors, and similes well? Has the author avoided Floating Body Parts (body parts acting on their own)? Example: Her eyes flew to his face. (Yikes.)
Storytelling Every scene: Does it read as a mini-story? Grounded setting: Can the reader tell the time of day and the place within the first few paragraphs? (No white room syndrome.) Look all around the character; is the setting adequately described? Is point of view (POV) established immediately? Is the scene necessary to move the plot along? Does this scene generate interest or excitement? Does the scene contain conflict, move the plot along, or introduce new information (preferably two out of three)? Can we tell the goal and motivation for the main character? What does the POV character see, hear, touch, smell, and taste? What key detail is highlighted through the senses? Is the scene balanced between dialogue and narrative? Is there enough white space around the paragraphs for readability? Does the scene have an arc? Do the characters develop? Are secondary characters introduced adequately? Does the scene end with a hook? 2
Point of View (POV) Does the POV stay consistent without head hopping? Do the narrative, internal monologue, and sensory details "sound like" the POV character? Is it written in the POV character's voice? Does the scene maintain deep POV most of the time? Does the character's attitude come through? Does the inner person come through? No out-of-body experiences. Can he physically see everything he describes? Is the scene told from the POV of the character who has the scene goal? (Be careful of turning a character into a narrator.) First-person POV: Has the writer avoided too much emphasis on thoughts and feelings? ("I feel sad." "I thought about my mother's reaction." Both examples are TELLING.) Does the author avoid too much telling? Proper dialogue, including tags and beats Is there enough dialogue? Does it have a purpose and drive the plot? Are speaker attributions minimized? Are beats used effectively? 3
Showing vs. Telling Has the author used interesting sensory details to convey information instead of just giving the facts? Does the author rely on naming emotions (telling) rather than conveying them in a more interesting way? Has the author resisted the urge to explain? Active vs. Passive Verb choice: Have the best verbs been used, or does the author rely on adverbs to do the job? Is the verb tense active, and does it remain consistent? Over-explanation (insulting the reader) Is backstory woven into the scenes without information dumps? Has the writer given the reader credit for being able to read between the lines? First chapter: Opening hook: Does the author raise questions in the reader's mind in the first three sentences? Has the writer tried to open with a dream sequence or another exhausted plot device? Is there a sense of the setting, both time and place? Does the chapter identify the main character? Can the reader care about the main character? Does the opening chapter establish the genre? Does the chapter set the tone? Is there some hint of the theme? 4
Does it introduce the antagonist? Does the chapter light the fuse for conflict? Can we tell the goal and motivation for the main character? Does the chapter give us a snapshot of life before the inciting event? Does the chapter show the inciting event? Does the chapter introduce other main characters (within reason)? Storytelling Grounded setting: Can the reader tell the time of day and the place within the first few paragraphs? (No white room syndrome.) Is POV established immediately? Is the chapter necessary to move the plot along? Does the chapter support the theme? Does the chapter contain conflict? Can we tell the goal and motivation for the main character? Do the characters develop? Are secondary characters introduced adequately? Does the chapter end with a hook? Preachiness Has the author avoided thinly disguised political or religious preaching? Do the characters "preach" in dialogue? 5
Technique Has the author avoided long passages of history and description? (No information dumps.) Is backstory given in little sips and hints rather than long explanations? Are major character traits (like courage) foreshadowed early on to prepare the reader for a later action, perhaps at the climax? Prepare/prove Is a major plot device (like a gun, knife, or money) shown early on so that it seems organic later in the book? Do red herrings seem perfectly reasonable and uncontrived? If the author has used flash forward as a framing device, does it do the job of creating an insatiable desire in the reader to find out how the character arrives at that point in the action? Style Is the writing style consistent with the rest of the book? Capitalization Proper nouns - consistent spelling Character attributes: eye and hair color, etc. Spelling (particularly American or British preferences) Hyphenation and compound words Abbreviations 6
Punctuation Grammar Syntax Usage Setting Do the settings serve the story? Are they interesting? Do the settings help set the tone and mood, provide conflict, and draw the reader in? Characters Are the characters adequately developed and three dimensional? Do the characters change over time in a believable and compelling way? Are the characters voices distinct? Do the characters' emotions run the gamut? Are they dynamic without being over-acted and flat? Is the main character likeable at all? Does he/she have grit, wit, and "it?" (James Scott Bell) Do secondary characters enrich the protagonist's story? Are there deadwood characters who need to be trimmed? 7
Conflict Does the conflict ring true, or does it feel contrived? Does the conflict force the character(s) to make difficult decisions? Is death on the line? (Remember, there are different kinds of death: physical, emotional, spiritual, political, and social.) Is there a time fuse? Plot Does the plot pull the reader along? Is the plot believable? Do the plot and sub-plots get resolved adequately? Do all the scenes support the plot? Other Novel formatting Plot development and research, sub-plots Proper use of flashbacks and back story Consistency in character traits and scene props Overused words that mark the writer as a beginner Pet phrases and words title Prologues and epilogues Resolution 8