The NLP series: 12 handy how-to guides to improve your life, health and wealth 15 Ways to Boost your Motivation with NLP 1
Do you struggle to stay motivated when things don t go your way? If so, you re not alone. It happens to most of us. But motivation is something that s 100% within your control. And learning to control and boost it is one of the most important mental habits you can learn. Here are my top tips on how to get started. Tip #1: Write down everything you want then pick ONE THING to focus on Can you juggle? If I handed you 3-4 tennis balls and asked you to have at it, how would you do? How about 6-10 balls? Would you struggle? I reckon you could probably juggle one tennis ball with your eyes closed. But as soon as another tennis ball enters the equation your focus, energy and efforts are now split. Add a third and now each ball is only getting a third of your resources. See where I m going with this? If you re anything like me you probably have hundreds of things you want to accomplish across multiple areas of your life personal, professional. But if you try to focus on too many at once, your chances of success will plunge. Instead, pick just one goal. Focus all your resources on achieving it. When you ve integrated that goal into your life, then you can move on to the next. Dealing with one thing at time will help you progress much faster. And progress builds momentum. Momentum in turn builds your motivation to progress with the next goal. 1
Tip #2: Discover your big WHY S/He with a big enough why, can withstand almost any how Nietzche Motivation doesn t live in WHAT you re doing it lives in WHY you re doing it. But how do you uncover your own big why? Start by asking yourself why a desired outcome is important to you. What will it truly give you? You ll probably have a couple of answers locked and loaded, ready to be written down. But most people stop there. Go a few steps further. Write down your answers and ask once more what s important to you about having (whatever the answers were you wrote down)? Here s where it gets really interesting. Whatever you write down, ask the question again about the new answers. Keep repeating the process until you keep getting the same answer. Or until the answer becomes emotional. The answer at this point is your highest intention, your highest motive for achieving the outcome and you ve just unearthed it. If you go through the process and what you find isn t compelling, that s probably a sign that the task isn t actually worth doing. In which case, congratulations you just eliminated a distraction 2
Tip #3: Make your outcome as specific as you can How can I be successful? Your mind, emotions and body are connected. If your mind can t imagine the outcome clearly, your emotions can t connect with it and your body isn t going to have any compelling reason to move. Look at the word success it s ambiguous and doesn t actually point to anything. So how can I be successful? isn t a question your mind can answer clearly. On the other hand, make your outcome sensory-specific and everything changes. If an outcome is sensory-specific it means you can see it, touch it, feel it, hear it. In other words I can take a picture of it or see it on a video camera. For example I want to be really healthy! is not sensory specific. You can t see, touch, hear or feel really healthy because that s just a concept. But if you change that outcome to be 85kgs at 13% body fat, that s a specific and concrete reality you can see by jumping on the scales or getting a body scan. So, whatever your outcome is, word it so that it s specific enough that, once you achieve it, you could see or record the result. The clearer you can visualize the outcome, the easier your emotions and body can mobilize to take you there. 3
Tip #4: Picture the cost of not achieving your outcome What if you don t achieve this outcome? Take a moment to ask yourself: what if you don t achieve this outcome? What would be the impact on your personal life? Your professional life? Your relationships? Career? Your relationship with yourself? Other areas of your life? Now imagine 5 years has past and you still haven t done anything with this outcome. What does that future look like personally, professionally and in all of the ways mentioned above? What about 10 years? What would it cost you? The more clearly you can imagine the potential harm of not achieving what you want, the more you ll tap into what s called away from motivation. In other words, being able to picture the negative consequences will motivate you to move away from that potential harm. 4
Tip #5: Picture the benefit of achieving your outcome With away from motivation in check, it s time for toward motivation. This time it s the same question in reverse what if you DID achieve this outcome? What will be the impact on your personal life? Your professional life? Your relationships? Career? Relationship with self? Other areas of your life? Now imagine 5 years have past. You ve nailed the outcome and it has continued to impact your life. What does that future look like personally, professionally and in all of the ways mentioned above? What about 10 years from now? 5
Tip #6: Make sure this outcome is actually within your control One of the quickest ways to induce stress and de-motivation is to set yourself a goal that from the outset is totally out of your control. It may sound obvious. Yet in many organizations people are given goals that sit outside their sphere of control. For example, sales reps are told to generate $X-worth of revenue. But sales require buyers, and sales reps have no control over buyers. Sales reps only have control over what they say, their behavior, the decisions they make, the mindset they bring to those decisions and the attitude they carry them out with. These are all the same things you have control over. And so these are the factors you can use to set goals. A healthy goal is one formed around what you say, think, feel or do. These are the only goals you can initiate and maintain on your own. Everything else is outside your control. 6
Tip #7: Work out whether your goal is achievable upfront How does your goal fit into the context of your other goals and other priorities in life? What will you have to say no to, in order to say yes to the things that will help you achieve what you want? And are you prepared to pay that price? If you don t ask these questions upfront, you could find yourself in trouble. It s no good setting a goal that requires you to work long hours each day if you also have the priority of being available to your family and kids. In this case, actualising one goal will only compromise and interfere with the other. 7
Tip #8: Make a decision and commit to it A decision isn t a maybe A decision isn t a maybe or an I d like to or an I might. Those are preferences. Decision is a Latin word that translates to literally a cutting off which means when you make a decision you are cutting yourself off from every other possibility. When you say yes to your outcome, you are simultaneously saying no to everything else. Often, the hardest part of a goal is simply making the decision to say YES to it, and NO to everything else. If you do not decide to go for it and commit to it, you are essentially deciding not to. 8
Tip #9: Break your big goal into digestible chunks The best changes are the ones you can actually execute. So make that execution easier by metaphorically eating a mouthful at a time, rather than biting off more than you can chew. Increasing your efforts by 100% in one go and trying to maintain that is much harder than making 5% incremental increases of effort over a period of time. People often overestimate what they can achieve in one week (or year), and underestimate what they can achieve in ten weeks (or years). If you aren t sure what you should bite off first, then don t panic. This is a positive realisation answering that question just became your first mouthful. 9
Tip #10: Make your environment work FOR you not AGAINST you What are the obstacles to the success of your goals in your environment right now? It s no good having a cupboard full of cookies when your outcome is to radically improve the health of your diet. Priming your environment means optimizing it for success. Have a goal to vastly improve your productivity and get a project done fast? Turn your phone off, close your office door, eliminate distracting websites from your browser, gather everything you need for the task in one place where you are free to focus and get to it. Want to quit smoking? Avoid the social events and situations that are high risk, until they aren t high risk anymore. 10
Tip #11: Hang out with the right people Nurturing and encouragement leads to growth Are you spending time with people and groups that support and encourage what you are working towards? You don t need to abandon your friends and family every time you have a new goal. But finding like minded people and groups that are engaged in the same pursuit as you has a multitude of positive effects. You can learn about what does and doesn t work from real people. You can pick up useful tips and techniques. And you can reinforce the compelling nature of what you re doing by sharing and acknowledging collective success. Nurturing and encouragement leads to growth so find a supportive culture you can join, or build one yourself to help in the pursuit of what you want most. 11
Tip #12: Set tomorrow s action plan tonight If you want to be stay motivated, don t start the day without a clear idea of what you want to achieve by the end of it. And the best time to do that? The night before. Give yourself a few moments to relax, and wash away the cares of the day perhaps with some exercise, a bath or some meditation. Whatever works for you. Then take the time to think through what your priorities should be for the next day. Write down what you want to get done then prioritise in order of importance to you. That way, you create a filter of what to say YES to and what to say NO to throughout your day. This will keep you focused on your most important tasks and help you build momentum without getting distracted by less important busy-work. 12
Tip #13: Less is more the Pareto Equation You don t need to achieve 100 things to make significant progress toward your outcomes. You just need to achieve the few things that actually matter and make the most difference. The Pareto equation is a general rule that says 20% of your efforts will lead to 80% of your results. So where are you spending your time? On the low-impact 80% of tasks and activities that are only going to produce 20% of your results? Or on the high-impact 20% of tasks and activities that are going to produce 80% of your results? Here are two questions to help you assess any task: Assess the consequences. Ask yourself What will happen if I don t do this? Is it worth putting off something important to do it? Assess the benefit. Ask yourself Will I definitely use this information/task for something immediate and important? 13
Tip #14: Saying NO the simple secret to exceptional focus The most powerful technique for time management and exponential focus is really easy: say NO. Specifically, say NO to shallow work so that you can say YES to deep work. 1. Deep Work: Mentally demanding tasks that require you to focus without distraction and apply hard-to-replicate skills. 2. Shallow Work: Logistical tasks that do not require intense focus or the application of hard-to-replicate skills. In the words of Carl Newport, If you re driven to produce things that matter, then you need to put deep work at the center of your professional life. To do so will probably require that you become lazier in the Feynman and Stephenson sense of the term: that is, you must treat with sluggish wariness efforts that keep you away from depth, regardless of how many small benefits they promise. Few people, of course, can completely eliminate shallow work from their professional lives, nor would they want to if they could. But shifting your general mindset toward one that embraces depth and shuns shallowness can make a big difference in the amount of value you produce. To put it another way: become hard to reach, avoid new tech tools, be slow to answer e-mails, become blissfully ignorant of memes, turn down coffee requests, refuse to hop on calls, and spend whole days outside working in a single idea these are exactly the type of lazy behaviors that can change the world. 14
Tip #15: The power of Acting AS IF and taking action right now A powerful frame in NLP is to ACT AS IF as if you already are the person who embodies the outcome of your goal, and you re just waiting for reality to catch up. For example, if I m a senior manager and I want to make my way to the C-Suite executive team, it means acting as if I AM a C-Suite Executive. Walk like a C-Suite, talk like a C-Suite, dress like a C-Suite, make decisions as if I were a C-Suite, act as if I AM C-Suite in everything but name only. This has a number of powerful psychological influences. The first influence is on you. By acting AS IF you are already modelling the desired outcome and then adjusting your behaviour, your thinking and your mindset to suit these are the very things that will produce your outcome. The second influence is on others. By and large, people treat you the way you treat yourself. For example, if you are looking for a promotion then all things being equal the candidate who already embodies C-Suite is going to stand out as the candidate most fitting for the C-Suite role. 15
Conclusion: Motivation is a process that puts YOU in control Many of us confuse motivation with excitement. But motivation is not an emotion, it s a process. And as such, you can control it. Even the biggest outcome is achievable. All it takes is focus, a shift in mindset, and the setting of smaller achievable goals on a path that you can commit to wholeheartedly. In summary, here are my 15 tips in brief once again: 1. Pick one thing to focus on 2. Discover your big WHY 3. Is your outcome specific enough? 4. What s the cost of not achieving your outcome? 5. What s the benefit of achieving your outcome? 6. Learn how to pick an outcome you can control 7. Work out whether your goal is achievable upfront 8. Make a decision and commit to it 9. Break your big goal into digestible chunks 10. Make your environment work FOR you not AGAINST you 11. Hang out with the right people 12. Set tomorrow s action plan tonight 13. Focus on the 20% of activities that will give you 80% results 14. Learn to say NO to the wrong things 15. Act as if you ve already achieved your outcome, and reality will catch up with you Now you know the secrets to building and maintaining motivation with NLP. But NLP can offer you so much more in every area of your personal and working life. Check out our market-leading NLP Practitioner Course for more on NLP can help you build deeper, more lasting relationships, build your emotional intelligence and create the stellar career and lifestyle you ve always dreamed of. 16
About: The Coaching Room (TCR) TCR was established in 2006 and started its direction in Life Coaching with an emphasis on relationships and dating. In 2008 TCR merged with another Australian Coaching and leadership company, and redirected its focus on Executive Coaching & Corporate Training. Shortly after this, TCR expanded into NLP Training and Coach Training through the International Society of Neuro-Semantics and The Meta-Coach foundation. Today, TCR is a leader in the field of Executive Coaching within Australia and Globally, with a worldwide portfolio of local, national and international executives -- typically in senior management and C-Suite positions. TCR s local and international Clients include Kantar Group, Fiji Airways, John Deere, Beiersdorf, Goldfields, Centennial Coal, Incept Pivot, United Energy, Cerebos Foods, Penrith City Council - among many others. In addition to our success in the field of Executive Coaching, TCR also leads the field of Developmental training - having trained thousands of people in the NLP Practitioner and NLP Master Practitioner certifications, as well the field of Coach Training Development (called the Meta-Coach Training System). Click here to see how you can unleash your true potential with our marketing-leading NLP Practitioner Course. 17