They may be knights of the round table who dance whenever they re able, but they sometimes have to take time out of Camelot to keep the riff raff under control. We re all big Monty Python and the Holy Grail fans at Wargames Journal, so when someone came up with the bright idea to repress some peasants, we jumped at the chance. : : : : : I am, King of the Britons. Whose castle is that? King of the who? The Britons. Who are the Britons? Well, we all are. We are all Britons, and I am your king. I didn t know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective. You re fooling yourself. We re living in a dictatorship: a self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes Oh, there you go bringing class into it again. That s what it s all about. If only people would hear of Please! Please, good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle? No one lives there. Then who is your lord? We don t have a lord. What? I told you. We re an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week. Yes. But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting... Yes, I see. By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs... Be quiet! But by a two-thirds majority in the case of more major Be quiet! I order you to be quiet! Order, eh? Who does he think he is? Heh. I am your king! Well, I didn t vote for you. You don t vote for kings. Well, how did you become King, then? The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I,, was to carry Ex calibur. That is why I am your king! Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. Be quiet! Well, but you can t expect to wield supreme executive power just cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! Shut up! I mean, if I went round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they d put me away! 100
Denni: Shut up, will you? Shut up! Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system. Shut up! Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I m being repressed! Bloody peasant! Oh, what a give-away... SCENARIO BACKGROUND Before they quested together in search of the Holy Grail, King and his knights did typical knightly things such as jousting, feasting and repressing all manner of peasants across their lands. This scenario features one such incident where, infamous spokesman of the Anarcho-Syndicalistic Peasant League, has caused a revolt amongst the citizens of an otherwise peaceful village. Hearing about the civil unrest and his most trusted knights set off across Briton to put the rebellion down and restore order. Now if they can just remember where the village is RULES As this scenario is far from serious we opted to play it with Games Workshop s Lord of the Rings rules. As LOTR is about as simple a game as you can get it s perfect for modifying to other genres and lends itself to the attachment of silly special rules. Having said that, you could use most skirmish based rules for this battle. WJ s own Age of Blood would be a natural choice and veteran readers will recall we did a similarly light hearted knightly skirmish entitled Don t Drop the Dead Donkey for the 1st edition of those rules.
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THE MAP The scenario takes place in the nameless village where the peasants reside and the table therefore should have several buildings on it to represent the village. It is assumed that all the buildings cannot be entered, by either side, unless you particularly wish to fight within them. The more buildings you can put on the table the better as these will provide obstacles for the knights and give the peasants defensible locations. THE KNIGHTS The valiant heroes of the round table are, King of the Britons, Sir Lancelot the Brave, Sir Robin the Not-Quite-So-Brave-As-Sir-Lancelot, Sir Galahad the Pure and Sir Bedevere the Wise. As well as the five famous knights is Sir Bors, who may or may not show up during the battle. ARTHUR, KING OF THE BRITONS The legendary is both a just ruler and brave warrior who will later lead his men on the quest of the Grail. A stern, stoic man, is prone to haughtiness and has a pathological dislike for all things silly. 5/- 4 7 3 3 6 3/3/3 Wargear: Excalibur (sword), heavy armour, coconuts and shield. Special Rule: King of the Britons As is the true King of the Britons (though his title may be disputed by some) he commands his men with great weight of authority. He can inspire them to great feats on the battlefield and help overcome some of their more erratic behaviour. By spending a point of will can make heroic actions as if he had used Might, or alternatively he can negate Lancelot s Fearlessness, or Robin s Cowardness special rules for the turn. SIR LANCELOT THE BRAVE The mightiest of s knight, Lancelot s courage in battle is probably better described as maniacal psychotic behaviour. He may defeat everyone he comes in contact with but he also has a habit of massacring everyone else who unfortunately happens to be nearby. Lancelot 6/- 4 7 3 3 9 6/1/3 Special Rule: Fearlessness Lancelot is so brave that he does not understand the concept of tactics. His entire battle philosophy is to charge forward and kill everything in sight. This serves him well most of the time but it does limit his tactical flexibility. Lancelot must always move a full 6 in a straight line every turn until he gets into combat with the closest foe and he will use Heroic Fight each and every turn whist in combat.. Sir Galahad the Pure The youngest of the knights of the round table, Galahad is perhaps to nice for his own good. He is also completely chaste and for this he receives much mockery from the other knights. Though not as accomplished a warrior as some of the other knights, his bravery is without question. Galahad 4/- 4 7 2 2 6 2/2/2 Special Rule: Purity Galahad is so pure that he would rather not kill anyone if he can at all help it. As such he tends to incapacitate enemies and knock them out instead of actually killing them. This sits well with his conscience but it makes winning battles more difficult for the rest of the knights. When Galahad has defeated a foe in combat roll a D6 and consult the below table to see what actually happens to them. D6 Roll Result 1-2 Nothing. He pulls his blow at the last second and they get 1 Wound back. 3-4 Knocked Out. The enemy is out cold and wakes up on a roll of 4+. Roll during each enemy movement. 5-6 Dead. Galahad actually kills them, probably by mistake though. Sir Robin the Not Quite so Brave as Sir Lancelot Sir Robin is easily the most timid knight ever to sit around the round table. In fact he is so cowardly that he has never actually really fought anyone. He can fight, but he usually runs away and lets his minstrels do the fighting for him. 103
He is out of luck today however, as ordered him to leave the minstrels at Camelot. Robin 5/- 4 7 2 2 1 3/2/2 Special Rule: Cowardess Robin s lack of courage cannot be underestimated under any circumstance. Given half the chance he won t even turn up for fights, let alone fight in them. Not only does he have abysmal Courage, he must pass a Courage test to be able to move into base contact with an enemy model, no matter how feeble they are. Also if he actually loses a Wound he automatically starts retreating. Sir Bedevere the Wise Sir Bedevere is s most loyal friend and trusted confidant. He is knowledgeable and wise but his common sense may be somewhat lacking. He is more used to reading than fighting and though he may not be able to swing a sword as well as the others, he at least knows all the theory. Bedevere 3/- 4 7 2 2 6 1/4/3 Special Rule: Wisdom Bedevere is so wise that he can offer insight into how his fellow knights should be fighting. Each turn Bedevere may, spending a point of Will and on a D6 roll of 4+, give a free point of Might to any knight within 6. Sir Bors Second only to Lancelot in hardness, Sir Bors is something of a mystery. He never travels with the other knights, never eats with them but does occasionally turn up almost magically to join in a fight. This strange behaviour would come to a close when he chose the wrong time to appear when he was killed by a vicious rabbit. Bors 6/- 4 7 3 3 6 4/1/2 104
Special Rule: Where d He Come From? Bors doesn t start the game with the rest of the knights, but appears at random. At the start of each and every movement phase roll a D6, on a roll of 6 Sir Bors may be deployed within 2 of and can act normally, but for that turn only. He will disappear again at the start of the next turn unless another 6 is rolled. THE KNIGHTS OBJECTIVES Though they would think of their mission as to enforce the rule of law, what they are actually doing is beating up trouble makers. Their ultimate aim is to silence, as he is the ring leader of the peasants and without him to lead them they have no will to rebel on their own. Therefore the knights will win if they can kill. This won t be as simple as that though as he has a whole village worth of peasants fighting for him. THE ANARCHO-SYNDICALISM PEASANTS Lead, in a purely vocal sense, by, the peasants have refused to work for their lordly masters and have formed an anarcho-syndicalist commune. No one apart from himself really knows what this means, but to the typical peasant it sounds pretty good. The mouthy is not just an unwashed lowlife but also a brilliant orator who can even get the up in a war of words with, and that s no easy feat. He posesses few combat skills and would do well to keep the fighting as far away from himself as he possibly can. His leadership skills though are so fine tuned that by encouragement alone he can transform the most pathetic of peasants into a fearsome lord of battle. 3/- 3 3 3 1 6 1/6/3 Wargear: Stick (hand weapon). Special Rules: Inspiration By talking alone makes his followers believe they can achieve anything if they work together and with his belief they will happily fight and his knights. Any peasant that is within 6 of becomes a Super Peasant and uses the statistics for that warrior type instead of their normal statistics. In addition while lives the peasants are immune to fear and will not run. When he dies though, the game is lost. Special Rules: Argumentative is at his best when he gets into an argument about the unjust society they live in and most knights cannot help but to argue back. By spending a point of Will, just like casting a spell, on a roll of 4+ can target a knight within 8. He then argues with that knight so tenaciously that the knight has no choice but to abandon what he was doing so he can argue too. He is immobilised for the rest of the turn and if in combat he suffers -1 F and -1 A. Peasants (30) More used to being smelly than they are to fighting, the peasants only strength is in their numbers but even that will not be enough against the knights. Only with do they have a chance at victory. No more than 25% of the peasants may be armed with bows. F S D W A C Peasant 3/5+3 3 1 1 2 Super Peasant 4/4+4 4 1 2 2 Wargear: Hand weapon or bow. PEASANT S OBJECTIVES The peasants are just trying to fight off the knights and so all they have to do is defeat their enemies. They can do this in three ways, the first is by killing all the knights. They don t have to kill Bors though, unless he is already on the table. If they manage to kill then the rest of the knights have suffered a terrible blow that they cannot recover from and lose. Finally, if they can force all the knights to flee from the board they will win. 105