Enter Your Next Relationship at Your BEST Written by Jay Mayo 1 1
No one wants to be single forever. Nor does anyone want to rush into a relationship before they re ready. So, I m sure you re wondering: How can you truly know you re over your ex, you ve dumped the unnecessary baggage and you re READY to enter into a new relationship? I m glad you asked! I believe that before you enter into a new relationship you need to have a serious discussion with YOURSELF! That s right! You and yourself need to have a serious heart-to-heart or, in some cases, a thorough interrogation! You need to ask yourself questions that will make you reflect on your past, the decisions you ve made and the outcome of those decisions. You need to ask yourself questions that will make you hold yourself accountable for mistakes you ve made and areas you still need to improve on. You need to ask yourself questions that will challenge you and identify whether you re truly ready for a new relationship or if you re in need of more time to develop yourself. 2
If you re ready to hold yourself accountable and provide honest answers to those questions, it is my pleasure to share with you 10 Questions to Help DUMP YOUR BAGGAGE and Enter Your Next Relationship at Your BEST: 1) Have you taken time to yourself since your last relationship ended? This question will help you determine if you ve spent enough time healing and focusing on yourself. It will also help you identify whether or not you may be rushing into a new relationship. 2) What things have you discovered about yourself since your last relationship? This question will assist you in reflecting on your last relationship, with an emphasis on yourself rather than your ex. You will also be able to pinpoint things about yourself that you may desire to change or that you know you must not alter. 3) What lessons have you learned from your past relationships? This question will allow you to reflect on your past relationships and formulate a list of all the lessons you ve learned throughout each of those experiences. You will also be able to determine which lessons you ve completed and which lessons you still need to work on further. 3
4) How have your past relationships affected you physically, mentally and emotionally? This question will provide you with an opportunity to analyze how your past relationships have changed you. You will be able to identify the aftereffects (both positive and negative) that you experienced and determine which areas may still need time to heal. 5) What baggage are you carrying around from your past relationships? This question will allow you to rummage through your past relationships and locate negative, volatile or unnecessary baggage that you may still be holding on to. You will be able to gather up all of the unwanted baggage you still have, make a list that includes each item and begin the process of ridding yourself of each piece, one at a time. 6) Have you accepted your role in the outcome of your past relationships and begun to work on your trouble areas? This question will give you an opportunity to accept your role in the outcome of your past relationships, regardless of what those roles may have been. You will be in a position to treat yourself, not as a victim, and begin to correct behaviors that previously were detrimental to yourself, your past relationships and your exes. 4
7) If your ex came back into your life, would you think about giving them another chance? Why or why not? This question will help you determine whether or not you are truly over your ex. You will be able to gain a clear understanding of what type of hold your ex may still have on you and start to take the steps to sever that connection, if necessary. 8) Would you want to date someone if they told you they had recently ended a relationship similar to your last one? Why or why not? This question will enable you to examine your previous relationship from an objective point of view. You will be able to step into the shoes of a potential new mate and determine whether or not entering into a new relationship is a healthy and wise choice. 9) What makes you think you're ready for another relationship? This question will give you an opportunity to express why you feel you re ready to enter into a new relationship. You will either find that you have ample, sound reasons and are truly ready to enter into a new relationship or you may discover that you don t have clear reasoning for why you desire to enter into a new relationship. 5
10) What's the driving force behind why you want to enter into a new relationship? This question will help identify the primary reason why you have a desire to enter into a new relationship. You will be able to reveal whether or not you have a substantial and sensible reason for wanting to enter into a new relationship or if your desire to be in a new relationship is simply irrational or superficial. There you have it! 10 Questions that will truly help you dump unnecessary baggage and enter your next relationship at your BEST. Since I m a nice guy and I truly want to ensure that you are properly prepared before entering your next relationship, I have a bonus question for you. BONUS: What would happen if you chose not to enter into a relationship right now? This question will allow you to carefully consider your alternative option of remaining single, at least for a little bit longer. You will be able to weigh both the advantages and disadvantages of either choosing to remain single or deciding to enter into a new relationship. Ultimately, this question will bring you one step closer to making the RIGHT decision for you. 6
I truly believe that if you invest in answering each of those questions honestly, you will know if you are ready for a new relationship or not. Don t think that just because you may currently be in a relationship that these questions don t apply to you. Asking yourself these questions can help you identify if you rushed into your current relationship and they can definitely help you discover new things about yourself. If you re willing, you and your partner can answer these questions together. There is no doubt in my mind that answering each of these questions together could add a considerable amount of value to your relationship. To help you (and your partner) get started, I have included a worksheet along with some additional questions and exercises in the pages that follow. I pray that your life and relationships will be positively transformed or improved as a result of your investment in answering each of these questions. After you (and your partner) have answered each of the questions and spent some time reflecting on your answers, I would love to hear your thoughts, feedback, questions and results. You can contact me on Twitter (@iamjaymayo) or send me an email at mr.jaymayo@gmail.com. Also, if you find value in the worksheet please share it with people you know. God bless you R.E.A.L. Lover and remember to apply this Kingdom Principle: But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Romans 8:25(ESV) 7
[DUMP_YOUR_BAGGAGE] Worksheet 1) Have you taken time to yourself since your last relationship ended? 2) What things have you discovered about yourself since your last relationship? 3) What lessons have you learned from your past relationships? 8
[DUMP_YOUR_BAGGAGE] Worksheet 4) How have your past relationships affected you physically, mentally and emotionally? 5) What baggage are you carrying around from your past relationships? 6) Have you accepted your role in the outcome of your past relationships and begun to work on your trouble areas? 9
[DUMP_YOUR_BAGGAGE] Worksheet 7) If your ex came back into your life, would you think about giving them another chance? Why or why not? 8) Would you want to date someone if they told you they had recently ended a relationship similar to your last one? Why or why not? 9) What makes you think you're ready for another relationship? 10
[DUMP_YOUR_BAGGAGE] Worksheet 10) What's the driving force behind why you want to enter into a new relationship? BONUS: What would happen if you chose not to enter into a relationship right now? Now that you have answered all of the questions, on the following pages you will find additional questions and exercises that will help you reflect on what you ve learned and discovered, as well as assist you with getting a few steps closer to answering the question: Am I ready for a new relationship? 11
[DUMP_YOUR_BAGGAGE] Additional Questions & Exercises Singles & Couples 1) What have you learned about yourself after answering the DUMP YOUR BAGGAGE questions? 2) What have you learned about your past relationships after answering the DUMP YOUR BAGGAGE questions? 3) Which DUMP YOUR BAGGAGE questions were the most difficult for you to answer? Why? 12
[DUMP_YOUR_BAGGAGE] Additional Questions & Exercises Couples Feel free to answer the questions above, either separately or together, then come together and share your answers, as well as provide your answers to the questions below as a couple. 1) Are you glad that you and your partner answered the DUMP YOUR BAGGAGE questions? YES or NO 2) What benefit(s) do you believe were gained by investing in yourselves and your relationship by answering the DUMP YOUR BAGGAGE questions together? 3) Which of your partner s answers surprised or shocked you the most? 13
[DUMP_YOUR_BAGGAGE] Additional Questions & Exercises 1) List five new things you learned about yourself. 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) 2) List the pieces of unnecessary baggage that you want to rid yourself of. 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) 3) Answer the question: Am I ready for a new relationship? YES or NO If you found value in answering these questions, please tell everyone you know about Right to R.E.A.L. Love so they can join our community and begin reaping the benefits too! 14