Unbreakable Confidence Checklist Zoe McKey
Hey there, My name is Zoe McKey. You may think, ok, who is Zoe McKey? Let me tell you. I am an everyday person with ten years of active involvement in coaching and helping people with they day-to-day confidence, communication, and lifestyle issues. All the things I teach or say are 100% proven tips since my very first patient was myself. Ok, actually this is only a part of my brief boring bio. There s so much more behind these words. I have been living alone since I was fourteen years old, and I have experienced and learned about what persistence, confidence, co-habitation, and successful social communication means. I had to go through a lot of blood, sweat and tears to get to this point, though. What I can tell you is that confidence isn t about blindly following some self-help mojos, faking it till you make it, or any other BS, but the courage to live a life of adventures. As kids you see everything as an adventure, you are fearless, not poisoned by what will they thinks and whats and ifs. And what is the main feeling that draws you towards adventures? Curiosity. As an adult, you can make the difference between good and bad. But doesn t that make you overcautious slowly repressing curiosity from your system? You become the be careful, it s risky, it s too expensive, I don t have time robot who fully dwells by the I have to work to buy food to have the energy to work spiral. Your positive experience and happiness tank becomes empty. You are safe but is it better in every case than sorry? You live a mediocre, boring life just because it s how it should be because you re adult because you don t want to act stupidly. By the way, how can you know how much confidence you have in yourself if you didn t even try anything challenging for years? Not the years matter in your life, but the life in your years. It is a new thing even for me, but let me share with you the roots of my CCC theory.
The CCC Funnel First things first, CCC stands for Curiosity Courage Confidence. Confidence Courage Curiosity As you can see this funnel is upside down. In my theory, if you are genuinely curious about the world you tend to gather more courage to satisfy this curiosity and find your answers. If you start to seek answers, the notion of the activity itself will start to boost your confidence. I mean if you do something instead of will do is already a huge step. And the actions led by courage increase your self-confidence. Curiosity is natural; it is something you can trigger in yourself. Courage doesn t come naturally. To trigger courage, you need a good reason. Courage is a mindful act, fueled by emotion. Courageous people feel the passing presence of fear but still undertake that - sometimes difficult - action. Courage is more than ability; it is a state of mind led by something that makes the risk and effort worthwhile. In this case, curiosity is the trigger. Confidence doesn t come for free. You have to work for it. When you were a kid you were fearless and bold, and you might have been confident, but that was not a conscious act. As an adult, you are conscious of confidence and its importance. You also experienced that you won t feel more confident by doing nothing. Confidence is the sum of the actions you take and deal with. I don t use the word succeed on purpose. Failure also can build confidence by its lessons and gives the opportunity to rise stronger and try again. The funnel is upside down because you are curious about many things. More than you take the courage to do, figure out or go after. So the funnel gets thinner at the courage section. And the confidence section is the thinnest because you may not always succeed, you don t always find your answers, or simply it turns out that the thing you were curious about is nothing of worth. I these cases the growth of confidence isn t so significant. But enough about my funnel s theory. Let s see how can you build a strong foundation for it.
1. Unleash your curiosity With this one simple step, you ve already solved 80% of your self-esteem issues. If curiosity is followed by action, it automatically fills you with the sense of courage, self-trust, and fulfillment from the discovery. True confidence has the courage to consider yourself worth of exploring and living life to the fullest. You are like a bottomless lake. You ll always be able to discover new depths and pools of yourself that you didn t even know you had. Do not be afraid to face your true interests and ask the question of why didn t I do this until now? Yes, you might realize that you wasted some time repressing the curious kid within you, but that time is history. What s still ahead of you is a mystery. Aren t you curious how you will unfold it? Who are you? What motivates you? What are you after? What s preventing you from getting it? What s your deepest wound? What s your pride? Do you know the answers to these questions? Are you curious? The answers are in you. Just take the time to respond to them. a) 3 things you were curious as a kid: I II b) 3 things you d do differently in the past ten years: I II c) 3 things that make you curious today: I II d) 1 action you can do it TODAY
2. Never promise more to yourself than what you can keep. Making big promises is the greatest hindering mistake you can commit and what most of the products of self-help industry don t emphasize well enough. For example, you read a lot of information, and you want to implement all of them at once in your life. You can go on like this for one day, one week, but sooner than later you ll inevitably fall back. And sometimes self-help can cause more damage than good because you ll feel guilty for not being positive enough, not writing you goals daily. I m sure you know what I m talking about if you ever overwhelmed yourself with unkept promises. Self-help books, including my own, are full of advice in diverse areas of life. But that doesn t mean you have to implement all of them in your life. Certainly not at once. Choose one, two, maximum three tips and focus only on those once as long as it is necessary to make them become a habit. Only after that engage in the introduction of a new habit in your life. I write many topics with many pieces of advice because people s problems may vary. No medicine can cure all diseases. For that, there are the courses, that are tailormade, and treat the problems of the individual. a) 3 promises you didn t keep for yourself: I II b) Why didn t you keep the promises above? I II c) Maximum 3 promises you d like to change in your life? I II d) 1 action you can do for them TODAY. I...
3. Be smart about the INSTANTLY trap. Many use the word instantly as a persuasion tool to make you buy their products. And they don t necessarily lie. Maybe they are not conscious about it either. The devil is in the detail of interpretation. I bet most of the time you read somewhere do something big INSTANTLY you associate it that by reading that line, or doing it once will change all your life and it will never be worse than in that moment. However, this little boosting word takes only the responsibility to be able to start doing it right after you read it. For example, to build confidence instantly, I could refer to my first tip: be curious. Can you do it instantly? Sure you can. You can read about the life of Nefertiti instantly on Wikipedia. You can discover instantly what s in the forest next to your house. Or you can book immediately a flight to Hawaii (depending on budget sure here comes point nr. 2 in, don t promise something you can t keep) but it won t last unless you keep practicing curiosity on a daily/weekly basis. I repeat, do not engage in more than three life changes at the same time. When you feel they became natural activities of your day, go on only then. a.) 3 things you wanted to do instantly. I...Haha, tricky question. You already chose three things to change in point 2. No more. Can you make the first step to fulfill this promise instantly? Do it!
4. Thinking vs. Feeling: Think, think, think, Brain vs. heart and many other phrases try to persuade you to follow your right mind. But honestly, think back to the main events of your life from the past. Close your eyes and try to remember what were you thinking in those moments. You remember? Now recall how were you feeling? I bet you can remember that better. Or another example. What were you doing, thinking, feeling on August 28th, 2001? And on 9/11 2001? I was 12 years old then, watching soap operas with my grandmother who was eating some grapes and she became pale as snow when she read the news on the header section of the television. I can t recall what I thought, but I became terrified, although I didn t quite understand what s happening back then. I bet you do remember that day too. Feelings always leave a greater mark in you than thoughts. And when it comes to confidence, you can think about it as much as you want, but if you re not prepared emotionally for challenging situations your sense of security built by rational thoughts will fall apart like a house of cards. Feelings of insecurity and anxiety can block all your other skills and talents. It doesn t matter how many times you rehearsed your speech, if you re anxious when presenting it your brain will go black, your feelings will invade your thoughts, and you ll bleed out. Anxiety and insecurity are like cataracts; you have to get rid of them first to see clearly again. In my courses, I will teach you how to transform anxiety into a sense of adventure and insecurity to curiosity. a) 3 things you feel anxious about: I II b) What is the worst outcome if your fears come true? I II c) 3 situations when you feel the MOST CONFIDENT? Write down then recall the exact feelings. Use them as triggers next time you feel anxious. I II
d) One thing you can do today to avoid the worst outcome of your fears?
5. Unleash your social curiosity When you re satisfied with your own personal confidence, and only then, you can take curiosity to the next level. Now you can satisfy your social curiosity. Sometimes people get so trapped in their lives and problems that they forget there is the world full of other people out there. Speaking with others boosts not only your personal confidence but also your social charisma. And how do you approach others with curiosity? Remember when you were a kid and thought astronauts were the coolest thing ever? Try to capture that feeling and think of the people around you as astronauts. Consider everybody to be interesting because they are. Everyone has a few cool stories to share, thoughtful ideas to spread. So, as a kid what would you have liked to ask an astronaut? Everyone will like you because, come on, who doesn t like to be the center of attention? People like to talk about themselves and explain their inner motivations so your question won t bother them. On the contrary. Your curiosity will make them feel important and in exchange, you ll get attention too, which yes, will boost your sense of importance and confidence. There is a reason why humans are called social beings. a) 3 people you are curious about: I II b) 3 main topics you would like to ask them about: I II c) 3 questions about each topic (here, you already have 9): I II IV. V. V VI VII IX.
d) Reach out to one person from the three above TODAY!