~ Mahayana Conduct Part I ~ By Mingyur Rinpoche Hello, today is about the conduct of Mahayana. As I mentioned a little bit earlier, conduct is very, very important because whether you can really improve yourself particularly improve your meditation and the view, the realization of view and experience of meditation totally depends on conduct. Although you have a nice view and you understand the view and maybe you might have some experience of meditation awareness, compassion, emptiness but, if you are missing conduct, after some time you will be stuck, so then you become like this: Awareness, peace... Keep quiet! I'm meditating!" So, when you are on the cushion you can be peaceful, you have some experience of awareness, you get feelings of love and compassion but, when you are really faced with someone, maybe you meet friends and maybe you're sometimes jealous, sometimes competitive, sometimes argumentative, especially with family, or with your girlfriend or boyfriend, or with colleagues, or at your job. It can manifest in many different situations. Most important with conduct is that you have to apply the view and especially the meditation in everyday life. In particular, you have to apply it with the problems. If you have a problem with hatred or anger having too much anger or you have the problem of being jealous all the time, or your main problem is desire, you need more, more, more, there s too much grasping, or you have the problem of pride "I'm the best in the world! They know nothing, I know everything. I don't care what they say. I don't want to listen to their opinion, or you re always confused, etc these are the negative emotions. Then, sometimes we might have some problems like psychological problems, depression, or panic. When I was young I had a panic disorder and I really applied these meditations with my panic. First, I 1
accepted the panic, then I transformed my panic into awareness, into love and compassion, and emptiness. I tried three different meditation techniques. You need to alternate. One meditation technique will after some time be boring and become unclear, so you need to change your meditation technique. In the end my panic became my best friend. I learned a lot from my panic. So, you can do the same thing. We all are the same. Our basic nature is good. We all have basic goodness or, in other words, the original purity. So, our basic nature is that we all are good. I'm good and you are good. So, if I can do it, you can do it! Everybody can do it if we make an effort, no problem! What s very important for the conduct is that you have to apply this meditation, the view and the meditation technique to the problem. First, you try by choosing small problems, problems which you can deal with. For example, if you are having a strong depression or panic, then you cannot really apply awareness to your depression. It s almost like you cannot watch it because it is overwhelming, it s so strong. You cannot transform your panic into love and compassion and you cannot think that the panic is emptiness. It's very difficult. But, you can choose some different emotion, or you may create another emotion: jealousy, anger or something else, and then apply the practice. Normally, we have a bunch of other emotions with us, so don't worry if you cannot find all these emotions. Don't worry. Then, apply it with that and you will be successful and see results by applying this meditation technique with the problem and then you will feel better. Slowly, slowly, you can apply this with your major problems emotional problems or social relationship problems. Sometimes you argue all the time, right? If you argue over small things, your partner will be upset. Your husband or wife, or your girlfriend or boyfriend will be upset. Or you have communication problems. So, you choose one specific problem and you think How much can I apply this with my problem? timewise. If the problem is sometimes too big you cannot really apply this at the beginning, so you need something that you can do. So, specifically, choose one problem. 2
You can also measure "How much can I improve?" You need some kind of goal. "I want to improve something" or "By the end of this month I want to improve my communication skills a little bit" or "I want to get some experience with how to apply this meditation technique with anger or with panic something for which you can make a plan. You can make this plan, and you can write it down in your book. You can make a special book for your conduct, a special book for applying this practice with the problems in everyday life. Actually, you can meditate everywhere, anytime. At some time in the past six or seven years ago now, or even eight years before, I was in the UK and I was watching television and there was an advertisement about a phone. And they said, "You can use this phone everywhere, anytime, even in the mountains." So, for the meditation: You can meditate everywhere, anytime, even in the city! Actually, you can meditate everywhere, anytime! But you have to remember these things again, and again, and again. Now, you might wonder, How do I apply this meditation technique with my problems? Up to now there are three ways: first is awareness, second is love and compassion, and third is emptiness. The first one is awareness. You know awareness in the Hinayana meditation: The four foundations of mindfulness or four kinds of awareness: awareness of body, awareness of feeling, awareness of mind, and awareness of phenomena. So, awareness is very important. It's the same in Mahayana awareness is the shamatha meditation: awareness or concentration. You re aware of your breath or whatever. Let's say you want to choose one problem. When I was young, I had a panic disorder. So, what I did was, first, I decided to work with my panic. At that time I was in a three-year retreat. In the first year my panic got worse. Why did my panic get worse? Because I was lazy. I knew the idea of meditation and when I sat on the cushion and practiced, it was OK, I got some good experience, but then I was lazy and I didn t want to practice meditation. We were in retreat, so I couldn t go outside and go wander here and there, so my main focus was to fight with my panic. 3
Then, one day I said, "OK! I still have two more years to go, and I don't want to waste the rest of my life here in the retreat fighting with my panic. So, I accepted my panic. I decided to work with my panic; then what I did was that I watched my panic. It's the same as when you are aware of your breath, your breath becomes support for your meditation. When you are aware of your feelings, the feelings become support for your meditation. In that time, what I did was that I was aware of my panic. Panic has three parts: frightening images, nasty words, and physical sensations. For me, it was tight in here (Rinpoche puts his hand on his chest.) My heart went boom, boom, boom! Sometimes I felt like I was falling from a cliff. Sometimes, when you're in an airplane and the plane is facing turbulence (Rinpoche moves his hand up and down.) I was feeling those things. All those physical sensations I watched. It was almost like I was accepting it. Awareness is bigger than this feeling actually. It s almost like awareness is as big as this (Rinpoche measures with his hands) and panic is like this cloth. Awareness is bigger than panic. Panic can move here and there and go here and there, no problem. In other words, you are accepting and you're accommodating the panic. Normally, what we do is push it away. "You, out!" Panic becomes bigger. Boom! It's like trying to get rid of a fire by putting fuel and oil onto the fire. The fire becomes big like this! When you reject or when you try to get rid of panic, panic becomes bigger! Some people say, Yes sir. Whatever message comes from panic you just believe and you follow. Life is miserable! Yes, life is miserable! Yes, there are problems! That's also not good. You don't have to do that. What do you have to do? Don't do anything. Just accept and watch it. If you can watch panic, then you're free, there's some space between the panic and you. The awareness automatically becomes bigger than the panic and within the panic there are all these images, words, and sensations all these things going on. Then, panic is no longer strong and solid. It s not like one piece or big rock. Normally, it's very big, like a giant rock and it's falling on you, right? It s overwhelming. But, if you accept and watch the panic, then it becomes 4
like shaving foam. It looks big, but inside it's full of bubbles. So, it s like that! It s very interesting! If you can watch a river, that means you are out of the river. If you fall into the river and are carried by the river, you cannot watch the river. But, if you can see it, there s no problem. But, there's another interesting thing. Sometimes when you look at the panic and these feelings, you cannot find them. It s almost like you cannot find the panic, you cannot see this emotion. It feels like you cannot grab it. That's very good also! Your mind goes back to open awareness awareness without a particular object. That's also good, but this normally doesn't last very long, only for a few seconds. Then it comes back again. This is how to apply meditation in everyday life, particularly with problems and with awareness. 5