Narrative [reading email message/replying to email] What s he like? Oh. Argentinian tall handsome. Oh, wow, fantastic! A new boyfriend for you maybe! [Laughs/sneezes] Maybe, but don t tell Bridget! Hector please, call me Gigi. Oh Hector, call me Gigi. Oh. [sending email] Must go. More news later. A. Is Hector still asleep? Yep. Aah. Hector, wakey-wakey. Come on, rise and shine. Hector makes snoring noises Sweet! Oh, good morning. [Sneezes] Oh, good morning. [Sneezes] Uh, no, no, no, good morning, ah-ah-ah. Good morning, ah-ah-ah. No Hector, I have a cold. And so have I. Oh you have a cold, Bridget. 1
Yes, I have a cold. Yes, we have a cold, so let s begin again. Good morning. Good morning. Oh never mind. Hector, would you like some New pyjamas? Mmm? Hector, please excuse me for a moment. Annie, bathroom. Now! Good morning. Good morning. Is it fancy dress? Fancy dress? Yes. Oh, nice. Hey, nice car, ay. I have this car at home. Wow, you have this car at home. Ahm. Girls must love you. Girls, no. No? Hector, can I tell you something? 2
OK. The car looks good. Ah-ay. Ay. So you must look good too! Ha-hmm? I look good! No. You don t look good. But I can help. OK! OK! Hector s clothes are awful! Oh, they re so old fashioned! I know, I ll take him shopping. But Bridget you re so busy that I ll take him shopping. No, it s all right, I ll take him shopping. But there s no problem, I ll take him shopping. I said I ll take him shopping!! Sound of sneezing You need, you need a oh hi, babe! Oh it s you, Nick. 3
Oh hi, Nick. Hector has asked me what clothes to wear. Yeah, right. You need a look, like on a fast bike. No, no, no, no, Hector, don t listen to Nick, listen to me. OK. You need a designer look. No, no, no, Hector, that s not for you. You need, you need a cowboy look. No, no, a leather jacket. A bandanna and a vest. A denim shirt. A motor bike! Designer! Cowboy! Ah, stop!! OK, I will go shopping. What? On your own? But you need us! 4
Ah, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. How? What will you say? Erm It s OK, leave it to me. I am the shopkeeper, you are the customer. Uh? This is a shop. I sell, you buy. Oh, OK. Oh, ding-dong. Good morning. Good morning! Can I help you? Yes. I I I would like I would like a jacket, please. Trousers. Uh? I would like a pair of trousers please. Oh, I would like a pair of trou-sers please. - And a shirt. No. shoes. I would like a pair of shoes, please. 5
I would like a pair of shoes, please. And a cat for my head. I think you mean a hat. Eh? This is a cat! [Laughs] A cat for my head! Hector, come shopping with me. Or me. No, me. He s my pen friend! All right! Me, you and you will go shopping for Hector a little bit each I will go to the shoe shop. And I will go to the clothes shop. No, I ll go to the clothes shop! OK, I ll just buy the shirt. I ll buy the trousers! Good! Hah! Good. Right, let s go! Oh, no, I completely forgot! We need, eggs, lemons and dog food. Oh, it s all right, I ll do it on line later. 6
Eggs, lemon, dog food. Oh well done, Hector. Bye Hector. Oh and don t answer the phone, it might be the tarantula. OK. Bye Hector, be good. And if you can t be good, be careful. Ha-ha. Eh? Never mind! [sending email] Nadia I have a cold. Bridget has a cold and Hector has New pyjamas. [sending email] Terrible pyjamas. Oh, you should see them Nadia. They are so funny! [sending email] Hi, sweetie. I wanted to buy Hector some new clothes on my own. I ll take him shopping. But Annie and Nick said they wanted to shop for Hector as well. So guess what? We re all going shopping for Hector. Me, you and you can go shopping for Hector, a little bit each. [sending email] What will he look like? [sending email] And Annie thinks Hector needs a cowboy look. He needs a cowboy look! 7
[sending email] But I think he needs a biker look like me! Yeah! You need a look, like on a fast bike! Good morning sir. I would like a cat for my head! Oh, room service. Hello, I would like an egg for my head, ha-ha! Lemons for my head! Intercom buzzes Oh, dog food for my head. Who s that? Aah! The tarantula! I said, who s that? Hello. Where s Bridget? Erm, where is Bridget? Me, I am Bridget. I don t believe you. Yes, I have a cold! [Sneezes] Oh, I m sorry. [Sneezes] Oh, thank you. [Sneezes] Dog barks Ssh! Charlie! 8
Is that a dog? No, no, it is not a dog, Annie has a cold also! Oh, poor Annie. Thank you. [Sneezes] Now goodbye! [Sneezes] Oh, oh ole! I am Hector, I speak Englis Eggs, lemons, dog food. Eggs, lemons, dog food. Oh hi, [erm] good, good afternoon Annie. Good afternoon Hector. I bought this for you. Oh, what is it? Try it on. Eh? TRY IT ON! TRY IT ON? Oh, try it on! Oh, ah. Where s Hector? In the bathroom. Good. I ll give this to him. It s OK, I ll give it to him! 9
No, it s all right. Sound of knocking on door Hector Hector I ve got something for you. Oh, OK. Come in. Spoil sport! Hector! Hector! Hello. Here are your clothes, you will look so cool. Cool? Co-ol. Cool! Nice melons! Melons? Who are those from? Ah, I think Hector has been shopping online. Oh, I m really thirsty, I need a drink. But we don t need any melons! 10
Well he did try! And he bought some eggs. Yeah, just a few. [sending email] Yo Dan! Hector did the shopping today. Nice melons. He bought one hundred and forty four eggs. Just a few. And ten melons instead of ten lemons. What an idiot. Ha! I would like some eggs please. I would like some lemons please. And oh, dog food for my head! Ha, ha, ha, thank you! [sending email] I went shopping for Hector today and bought him something really cool! I cannot wait for him to try it on. TRY IT ON. [sending email] I went to the clothes shop and bought Hector a really trendy outfit! He will look just like David Beckham! I ve got something for you! So how did Hector do the shopping? Ah-ha! Hector ordered ten melons instead of ten lemons. Oh, an easy mistake, he did try. Yes, he did try. And what about the eggs? OK, eggs. You buy a dozen eggs, yeah. Yep, a dozen is ten. 11
A dozen is twelve, stupid! I know! Well Hector has put the number twelve here. Well that s OK, that s one box. No, he ordered twelve boxes. One hundred and forty four. Now, dog food. Ha, ha, I can t wait! OK, I m ready! We re ready! Enter! Do you like it? Well? Ah [erm] I like the shirt. I like the sarong. I like the shoes. So, am I co-ol?, & [Erm]. No. I m not cool. 12
, & [Erm] no. So, I will go shopping. Here we go again. Hector! You can t go out there on your own. You went shopping on the Internet. Yes. Ha-ha! You ordered melons instead of lemons and too many eggs. Have you ever been to a supermarket? No. My Who are these? My Servants. Yeah, my servants.. Servants. Now I understand. Come on Hector, I will teach you how to shop, Hector Till you drop. Bridget and I will be the shopkeepers. And you are our customer! OK. [Clears throat] Good afternoon. Good afternoon! 13
Can I help you sir? Eh? What would you like to buy? Oh, I would like some Clothes! Yes, I would like some clothes, please. What size? Eh? What size. I don t know. I ll have to measure you then. Arms up please. Eh? Arms up, please. Oh, arms up, please. Chest. Ooh! One hundred and twelve centimetres! Chest, one hundred and twelve centimetres. And waist. Eighty two centimetres. Waist, eighty two centimetres. 14
And l-e-g!! [laughs] I ll do that! No, it s OK! [Clears throat] Eight-ty seven centimetres! Now, do you like these trousers? Do you like this shirt? Ye-es. Good, that s [erm] Five thousand pounds. OK. No, no, no Hector. Five thousand pounds is, is eight thousand dollars! Yeah. It s too much, it s too expensive. Not for Hector! So, I am ready to go shopping! Ha ha! Good luck. Yeah, good luck. You ll need it! & [Sneezing] 15
Where s my lemon drink, Nick? Nick, are there any more tissues? All right, I m coming as fast as I can! OK. Oh, I feel awful. Oh, me too. Nothing will make me feel better. Sound of knocking on door Oh, can you get that please Nick? Oh, it s only Hector. Well, is it cool? Wow, man! Well done! You look great! I would like a shirt, please. Excellent! Oh the clothes are super! And a pair of trou-sers. Oh, you are clever, Hector! And a pair of shoes, please! [Laughs] I have been shopping! Sound of intercom Oh, I ll get it. Hello. 16
It s me. Oh, hello. It s the tarantula! How are you? Fine, thank you. Oh, good, good. How s your cold? How s my cold? Well how did you know I have a cold? You told me this morning. Me, I am Bridget. I don t believe you. Yes, I have a cold. [Sneezes] Oh, I m sorry. Thank you. [Sneezes] Yes, silly me! I told you this morning. Why are four hundred tins of dog food here for Annie? Pardon? I don t know. Well, how strange! Four hundred tins. 17
Yes, that s a lot of tins. Well I really don t know. Can you ask Annie? Yes, I ll ask Annie, goodbye. The tarantula said, why have four hundred tins of dog food downstairs? Four hundred tins?, & Hector!! COMMENTARY [v.o.] Next time in EXTRA. Annie goes dating on the Internet and so do Nick and Hector, but do they like their dates? Extra don t miss it! 18