SELF-CARE VS SELF-COMFORT What do I need?
More useful + inspiring exercises like this can be found inside The Joy Equation Course! WWW.STRATEJOY.COM/JOY-EQUATION Bubble baths, pedicures, massages, a sweet treat all self-loving activities under the umbrella of self-care, right? After all, aren t those sweet rituals proof of care? Of loving yourself? Of course they are. But when self-care turns into nights spent curled on the couch with cupcakes watching entire seasons of old shows, you may be walking a fine line. When the delicious solo glass of wine on the porch turns into the bottle and late night ex-texting, you ve thrown your care under the bus. When rewarding yourself with a shopping trip becomes the only way to lift your spirits, your pampering is becoming dangerous. When caring for yourself turns into distracting or numbing or avoiding, it s time to pause. And in that pause you can ask yourself -- what am I truly craving in this moment? What do I really need? Do I need comfort or care? 1
WHEN YOU NEED COMFORT you re craving warmth, pleasure, a break. Treat yourself with sweetness and follow your body s yearning for feeling good. Perhaps you are soothing yourself from a stressful day or an overwhelming month. Maybe you re comforting yourself after a hard conversation with your boss or an argument with your partner. You could be pampering yourself after a week of doing everything for everyone else or rewarding yourself for reaching a goal. The comforting acts themselves are neither bad nor good. The intention behind them is the place where comfort separates from distraction, numbing or avoidance. WHAT ARE COMMON TIMES OR SITUATIONS THAT I NEED COMFORT? WHAT ARE MY FAVORITE WAYS TO COMFORT MYSELF? HOT BATH GLASS OF WINE BEAR HUG FROM SQUARE OF DARK CHOCOLATE CHIPS WITH GUACAMOLE SEX TV SHOW EARLY BEDTIME PEDICURE SNUGGLE WITH PUTTING MY PAJAMAS ON TRASHY NOVEL PLAY ON SOCIAL MEDIA NAP SHOP ONLINE MASSAGE 2
WHEN YOU NEED CARE you re craving self-respect, connection, alignment. Treat yourself with kindness and honor your strengths and values. Follow your heart s yearning for doing good. When you are choosing care, you are celebrating your highest held values. You are making choices that may not be convenient or easy, but are in line with your true self. You are respecting your right to be happy, to be fulfilled, to be present. WHAT ARE COMMON TIMES OR SITUATIONS THAT I NEED COMFORT? WHAT ARE MY FAVORITE WAYS TO CARE FOR MYSELF? WRITE IN YOUR JOURNAL SWIM LAPS SOULFUL CHAT WITH CREATE SOMETHING DECLARE YOUR GRATITUDE TAKE YOURSELF ON A WALK OUTSIDE YOGA COOK A BEAUTIFUL MEAL GAZE AT THE STARS HAVE THE CONVERSATION YOU VE BEEN AVOIDING MEDITATE GET LOST IN YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY DANCE TAKE THE FIRST STEP OF YOUR CRAZY GOAL WRITE A THANK YOU NOTE DO A BRAIN DUMP 3
THERE IS A MOMENT OF CHOICE WHERE YOU CAN MAKE A DELIBERATE DECISION: care or comfort? Both are necessary! Give yourself what you actually need. Practice tuning into your cravings. Sometimes we get so used to comforting ourselves, we skip right to the sugar when what we really need is to take a walk. The TV can become so habitual that we don t even realize that writing a blog post is what actually feels better at 9 pm. We re so practiced at rewarding ourselves with a massage, that we don t even consider that a painting class might feel like more of a treat. WHEN ARE TIMES I VE BEEN CHOOSING COMFORT WHEN I REALLY NEED CARE? 4
WHAT ARE THE HEALTHIEST FORMS OF COMFORT FOR ME? HOW CAN I REMIND MYSELF TO MAKE A DELIBERATE DECISION NEXT TIME I FEEL OVERWHELMED, STRESSED, LONELY, LOST OR FRUSTRATED? And gorgeous? If you ve been sliding into the land of distraction, numbness, excessive soothing at the expense of your values there s no point in beating yourself up. Practice some self compassion and let today be the reset button. I know you can do it. XOXO 5